Dilemma - when to eat?

Okay, my husband and I are having a difference of opinions, and I need some help!

He has been taught by personal trainers and nutritionists that you should eat 3 small meals per day and 2 high protein snacks.

This program has not been working for me (don't judge by my diary, I'm very lax lately). I prefer to eat only when I'm hungry, and that is typically skipping breakfast. I am not a morning person as it is. I really dislike breakfast. I usually do not get hungry until lunch. Then I may have a snack, then a light dinner. Oftentimes, I am not hungry at dinner - but I have been eating it anyways. I constantly feel full/heavy/bloated. I feel my very best when I wake up in the mornings with an empty stomach.

Am I harming myself? I have done nothing but gain weight eating on husband's plan, and I find myself eating a lot of crap lately. Like "I have to eat something, the rules say so, this is handy - let's eat it." Whereas if I eat only when I'm hungry I make better choices because it's actually something I want to eat, not just doing it out of necessity.
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Replies

  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    You are correct. Eat when you're hungry - don't eat, if you're not.

    Of course, the caveat to that is to make sure you eat enough - but there is no reason to eat at any specific time or any specific number of feedings, provided you get the proper nutrients and are able to maintain physical and mental health.
  • SnicciFit
    SnicciFit Posts: 967 Member
    Always, always, always listen to your body. This is especially true if you're not eating a lot of sugar-laden junk food (which can sometimes confuse your natural hunger signals). If eating often doesn't make you feel right, don't do it. But also, don't be surprised if you change WHAT you're eating and suddenly you are hungry for breakfast most days.
  • PrettyandPolished
    PrettyandPolished Posts: 45 Member
    Eat when you are hungry but in order to start your day off right and keep your metabolism up I would recommend at least chomping on some fruits in the morning. I am not a breakfast person AT ALL but I have helped myself by eating small and nutritious in the AM. I usually go for an apple along with a nutra grain bar or a smoothie. And I usually go for the apple right away and the nutra grain bar on my way out of the house. I work out in the morning and by the time I am done I am usually ready for another small snack or on my big work out days its almost time for lunch.

    The same thing won't work for everyone and you shouldn't stress yourself out about a plan that doesn't work for you. Test some things out week by week until you get it figured out. Weight loss is not an over night thing. It takes a very long time to figure out how to do things right by your body and lifestyle.

    Good luck!
  • SnicciFit
    SnicciFit Posts: 967 Member
    The same thing won't work for everyone and you shouldn't stress yourself out about a plan that doesn't work for you. Test some things out week by week until you get it figured out. Weight loss is not an over night thing. It takes a very long time to figure out how to do things right by your body and lifestyle.

    Good luck!

    ^^this! Just stressing about it can stall your weightloss.
  • My husband does not eat breakfast. At all. There is a small population who simply prefer not to eat breakfast because that's what works for them For the majority of us, a healthy breakfast is the key to starting the day off right and making better choices all day. So what you need to do is figure out where you fit and do that, which it sounds like you are. Just remember if there was a perfect combination of food and meal plans where everyone could lose weight, no one would need to lose weight. If you're still losing weight and not hungry, then you're doing it right for you.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    Eat when you are hungry but in order to start your day off right and keep your metabolism up I would recommend at least chomping on some fruits in the morning. I am not a breakfast person AT ALL but I have helped myself by eating small and nutritious in the AM. I usually go for an apple along with a nutra grain bar or a smoothie. And I usually go for the apple right away and the nutra grain bar on my way out of the house. I work out in the morning and by the time I am done I am usually ready for another small snack or on my big work out days its almost time for lunch.

    The same thing won't work for everyone and you shouldn't stress yourself out about a plan that doesn't work for you. Test some things out week by week until you get it figured out. Weight loss is not an over night thing. It takes a very long time to figure out how to do things right by your body and lifestyle.

    Good luck!

    You don't have to eat breakfast. It doesn't "keep your metabolism up" or start your day off right. If you're not hungry, don't eat. I have many friends on here that do intermittent fasting and don't break their fast until after noon. Their metabolisms are working just fine.

    I eat breakfast, but I wait till after I get to work. It works for me. Do what works for you. Meal timing is personal preference only.
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    Okay, my husband and I are having a difference of opinions, and I need some help!

    He has been taught by personal trainers and nutritionists that you should eat 3 small meals per day and 2 high protein snacks.

    This program has not been working for me (don't judge by my diary, I'm very lax lately). I prefer to eat only when I'm hungry, and that is typically skipping breakfast. I am not a morning person as it is. I really dislike breakfast. I usually do not get hungry until lunch. Then I may have a snack, then a light dinner. Oftentimes, I am not hungry at dinner - but I have been eating it anyways. I constantly feel full/heavy/bloated. I feel my very best when I wake up in the mornings with an empty stomach.

    Am I harming myself? I have done nothing but gain weight eating on husband's plan, and I find myself eating a lot of crap lately. Like "I have to eat something, the rules say so, this is handy - let's eat it." Whereas if I eat only when I'm hungry I make better choices because it's actually something I want to eat, not just doing it out of necessity.

    Meal frequency is personal preference, if you're undereating by going with the only when you're hungry route, then I'd possibly look into changing things up
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
    I'm going to disagree slightly, we train our bodies to eat at certain times of the day and certain quantities, and our bodies adapt to that. When I was crash dieting at 18 I ate a yogurt for breakfast and a cup of soup for lunch and dinner, barely 500 calories a day and I didn't feel hungry at all! Conversely when I wasn't eating right and average 3000+ calories a day I felt hungry all the time because that's what my body was used to.

    My husband was eating like you for years and couldn't lose weight at all, he's still not a fan of breakfast but he make himself have something small and then has a snack on the drive to work and has been losing consistently for the last year.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    I'm going to disagree slightly, we train our bodies to eat at certain times of the day and certain quantities, and our bodies adapt to that. When I was crash dieting at 18 I ate a yogurt for breakfast and a cup of soup for lunch and dinner, barely 500 calories a day and I didn't feel hungry at all! Conversely when I wasn't eating right and average 3000+ calories a day I felt hungry all the time because that's what my body was used to.

    My husband was eating like you for years and couldn't lose weight at all, he's still not a fan of breakfast but he make himself have something small and then has a snack on the drive to work and has been losing consistently for the last year.

    Was your husband counting calories all that time that he couldn't lose weight? Is he now?

    If not, are you saying that the addition of breakfast has literally been the only change he made to start losing weight?
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    I gained weight by eating "only when I was hungry". My first meal of the day was generally about 11 AM, and from then until I crawled into bed stuffed to the max it was like I'd tied on the feedbag. Turns out I don't know jack about "hungry". It feels the same to me as "I feel like eating something." So I established a regular meal schedule, including a morning meal, so that I could learn to eat appropriately rather than aimlessly. It keeps me from wandering around the kitchen having a bit of this and a tad of that all afternoon long. If it's not mealtime, I force myself out of the kitchen (most of the time).

    So I think your husband has a point, but like everything else - your personal mileage may vary.
  • annepage
    annepage Posts: 585 Member
    Agreed. Only eat when you're hungry and don't force feed yourself. Force feeding/eating past being full = weight gain.
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    Agreed. Only eat when you're hungry and don't force feed yourself. Force feeding/eating past being full = weight gain.

    What if you're always hungry, just stay fat?
  • HanaGee
    HanaGee Posts: 1 Member
    I believe that our bodies need fuelling in the mornings. food is fuel and we need the energy to get through the day. i believe that if you skip meals, your body starts to store fat because it doesnt know when its gonna be re-fuelled again. i never used to eat breakfast and when i joined weight watchers i did lose weight but ever since i started having breakfast i feel better, more alert, and my metabolism has changed a lot. definately suggest a healthy breakfast to start off your day.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Unless you've been advised by a doctor to do otherwise, eat whenever make you happy and keeps you on track.
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
    I believe that our bodies need fuelling in the mornings. food is fuel and we need the energy to get through the day. i believe that if you skip meals, your body starts to store fat because it doesnt know when its gonna be re-fuelled again. i never used to eat breakfast and when i joined weight watchers i did lose weight but ever since i started having breakfast i feel better, more alert, and my metabolism has changed a lot. definately suggest a healthy breakfast to start off your day.

    Do have of those beliefs have actual data to support them?
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,809 Member
    Following your husband's routine doesn't work for you - so change!

    Work out what you want to eat over the course of the day and then eat it whenever it suits you.
    It really is no more complicated than that.
  • Thanks everyone! I am going to start eating on MY schedule and see if anything changes with the scales or the way my clothes fit. I will just have to keep myself in check to make sure I'm truly hungry and not just bored.
  • EmiBun
    EmiBun Posts: 84 Member
    While I agree is it correct to listen to your body you should always eat breakfast. Always, no exception.

    Why not watermelon, cantaloup, toast, something light even and apple or a peach!
    Glass of oj!
    I dunno. but just to jumpstart your metabolism in the morning.
    Bfast is super important.

    Easy for me because I'm up @ 5 and I love breakfast :D
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    While I agree is it correct to listen to your body you should always eat breakfast. Always, no exception.

    Why not watermelon, cantaloup, toast, something light even and apple or a peach!
    Glass of oj!
    I dunno. but just to jumpstart your metabolism in the morning.
    Bfast is super important.

    What do you think will happen if one doesn't "jumpstart" their metabolism (whatever that means) in the morning? Is eating the only way to jumpstart it?
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Another factor to consider is maintaing a healthy, steady blood sugar level so as not to have spikes and drops that mess with your pancreas, insulin production and hormone levels which all affect body weight.
    Maintain a constant, healthy blood sugar level all day by eating complex carbohydrates, lean meats and "healthy" fats and you'll be doing your body a great favor in the long run. Not only with your weight but the rest of your body as well. :smile:
  • professorRAT
    professorRAT Posts: 690 Member
    Agreed. Only eat when you're hungry and don't force feed yourself. Force feeding/eating past being full = weight gain.

    What if you're always hungry, just stay fat?

    ^my thoughts exactly. The whole point of MFP is to track your calories. Figure out how many you need for your goals and eat them whenever you want. Timing does not matter.

    If I ate whenever I was hungry I would be pretty fat.

    My body makes lots of noises, but none of them make much sense or tell me my TDEE. So, I don't "listen to" it much. Just sayin'.
  • daj150
    daj150 Posts: 815 Member
    Oh man, I couldn't live without breakfast...I LOVE breakfast foods...at any time of the day. But as everyone else said, listen to your body and what your husband's plan does not equate to being an ideal or even a good plan for you. If you do some searching on the MFP forums, lots of people skip breakfast for the same reason that you "used to" and do just fine.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    If you are under eating, then your hormones may not be working correctly, the hormones that tell you when you are hungry and when you are full.

    I don't know if you are under eating, but just responding to the people who say not to eat if you are not hungry. That isn't always the healthiest advice.
  • amyoliver85
    amyoliver85 Posts: 353 Member
    The reason you're not hungry in the morning is because you don't eat in the morning. This means that you are spreading calories over too small a portion of the day and your body spends the nighttime breaking down food when it should spend that time repairing you. The best thing to do is to start small and teach yourself to eat breakfast. I used to be just like you and would never eat breakfast. Sometimes I still don't because I don't feel hungry.

    However, you need to recognize that "listening to your body" like some other posters have said to do can actually cause you detriment. Your eating "switch" is currently not functioning the way it is supposed to. You need to train it to function at the maximum level for your body and your nutritional needs. You need to eat approximately every 2-4 hours starting with first thing in the morning and going from there.

    This is not just about metabolism. It is also about making sure that your body has enough energy and fuel to keep you alive and healthy.
  • lewcompton
    lewcompton Posts: 881 Member
    You are both right... Him for himself and you for yourself! Its possible for each of you to have a totally different approach and it will work for you. Figure out what your body likes and needs and make it work for you! Eat cleaner all the time to maximize nutrition, but the when and how you consume the calories will and should vary. Have a meal during the day together as a social thing if you so choose, otherwise graze or feast as your body dictates. I eat 6 meals a day and my wife eats four... Is she right? Yes... Am I right? Yes... Too many people get hung up on meal times and eating only when sitting down or other little issues. Do what works for you!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    The reason you're not hungry in the morning is because you don't eat in the morning. This means that you are spreading calories over too small a portion of the day and your body spends the nighttime breaking down food when it should spend that time repairing you. The best thing to do is to start small and teach yourself to eat breakfast. I used to be just like you and would never eat breakfast. Sometimes I still don't because I don't feel hungry.

    However, you need to recognize that "listening to your body" like some other posters have said to do can actually cause you detriment. Your eating "switch" is currently not functioning the way it is supposed to. You need to train it to function at the maximum level for your body and your nutritional needs. You need to eat approximately every 2-4 hours starting with first thing in the morning and going from there.

    This is not just about metabolism. It is also about making sure that your body has enough energy and fuel to keep you alive and healthy.

    ???? How do you know her "eating switch" is not functioning the way it is supposed to?
  • Oh man, I couldn't live without breakfast...I LOVE breakfast foods...at any time of the day. But as everyone else said, listen to your body and what your husband's plan does not equate to being an ideal or even a good plan for you. If you do some searching on the MFP forums, lots of people skip breakfast for the same reason that you "used to" and do just fine.

    I love breakfast food too ... well, only Bacon. I could eat that Every. Single. Day. !!!!!
  • professorRAT
    professorRAT Posts: 690 Member
    Oh man, I couldn't live without breakfast...I LOVE breakfast foods...at any time of the day. But as everyone else said, listen to your body and what your husband's plan does not equate to being an ideal or even a good plan for you. If you do some searching on the MFP forums, lots of people skip breakfast for the same reason that you "used to" and do just fine.

    I love breakfast food too ... well, only Bacon. I could eat that Every. Single. Day. !!!!!

    well duh! :happy: bacon!!!!! :love:
  • mandipandi75
    mandipandi75 Posts: 6,035 Member
    Eat whenever you want. Just track your calories. To lose weight, stay in deficit... by eating fewer calories than maintenance and/or exercise.
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
    It doesnt matter getting 1500 calories in one meal for the day, or 10 150 calorie meals for the day. Just as long as as you hit your goal in the day