Succeeding only to fail.

ForMyAngelBaby
ForMyAngelBaby Posts: 123 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm so confused, angry and defeated all at the same time. Last week I did so well. I didn't give into a single craving and my work showed on the scale. I felt so good about myself. I intended to give myself Saturday because I was going to a friend's house and I knew that the only thing there to eat would be junk food. What I should have done was eaten a healthy dinner and then just fought off the cravings. I did better than I normally would have, but worse than I should have.

What's really got me angry is I haven't gotten back on track since and I'm feeling all the consequences of my unhealthy eating: bloating, tiredness, irritable, and up all night in the bathroom feeling sick. I hate how I feel right now, and yet for some reason I'm allowing myself to indulge in everything I know that I shouldn't.

Part of me wants to give up and part of me just wants to say screw all the unhealthy foods and the cravings, I've beaten them before and I know I can beat them again, I just have to do it. The problem in my head is I know how hard it would be and how much of a battle it would be. In the end it seems easier to just eat the cookies.

Replies

  • Rosegardenia
    Rosegardenia Posts: 53 Member
    Decide what you really want. Don't beat yourself up, this is a long road and you'll make a few detours, everyone does. It's up to you whether or not you keep going but you've proved you can do it if you want to. Easier to eat cookies, but easier in the short term is often more difficult in the long term. Good luck with whatever you decide.
  • mgalsf12
    mgalsf12 Posts: 350 Member
    Don't beat yourself up about it. If you eat poorly one day, just eat right the next day. If you over indulge for a few days, well then just get back on track, really it's not the end of the world. Moderation is the key. Personally I do not deny myself of anything; dessert, cocktails, cheese...but it's more or less in moderation. You are on the right track, do not sabotage yourself because you had a moment of yummy indulgence. Keep up the good work.
  • littleblackcar
    littleblackcar Posts: 24
    ^^^This.

    I never denied myself anything. Cut back, yes, but I always ate cookies, chocolate, pizza, whatever. Granted, I don't think I had as far to go since these weren't a huge part of my diet in the first place, but thinking I couldn't eat cheese ever again would have sent me running to take out a mortgage on a dairy farm.

    Whatever you do, stop beating yourself up. It's not fair to yourself and it's totally counterproductive.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    We all do that. No one is perfect. I have bad days ALL the time. It shows on the scale the next morning, and I have to constantly remind myself that it is just sodium or whatever or I will spiral completely out of control.

    Allow yourself to be human. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start over. Do NOT beat yourself up, that will cause more negative/bad behavior. What would you tell a friend that told you the same thing? Be your own best friend and tell yourself what you would tell a friend. It is the positive self-talk that makes the difference. GOOD LUCK!! You can totally do this!!:bigsmile:
  • LokiOfAsgard
    LokiOfAsgard Posts: 378 Member
    What's funny is this just happened to me the other week.
    It's okay

    Put that one day behind you now, and remember, if you do give up, you're gonna keep all these sick feelings you have right now. That's how I got back on track.
    Took me about two weeks to do it, but I did it.

    And when you do get back on track, remember it's okay to go unhealthy a little. Just not to much. Allow yourself something small everyday and you won't have so many craving to fight off. It'll be a lot easier to stay on top of this.

    Don't give up! You got this!
  • scrapperthoke
    scrapperthoke Posts: 12 Member
    Moderation not deprivation. I had gastric bypass and what I've learned is that proper eating does NOT take a vacation when you do. Yes you can slip and eat the wrong things, but you have to just get back on track. if want to allow your eating patterns to take a vacation then that is your choice, but it is also you choice if you allow it to defeat you. We all get down on ourselves. it is human nature to strive for perfection, but just know that you are not alone, you are not the first, nor will you be the last. We're not beating you up, so ask yourself if you will let this defeat you? I think not. Turn that negative into a positive and learn from what you did, and come away with a lesson, which you did. Eat before you go. That is huge. Pat yourself on the back for realizing it. You go girl, and you keep going!
  • beertrollruss
    beertrollruss Posts: 276 Member
    You're not alone my friend. Many of us have been in the same place and can sympathize. Parties and offices are full of high calorie low nutrient food. I've reached a point where I have to say no to sugar to because my blood sugar is high. The thought of poking my finger tips every day scares me enough to try to be good.

    Don't let a bad day, week, month or year get you down. The body has an amazing ability to heal itself. Pick yourself up and keep doing the best you can.

    :smile:
  • PrincessEliNa
    PrincessEliNa Posts: 524 Member
    We all feel like that sometimes, really, I sure do, but It's never too late to start again, and...keep going. It's not easy, but don't give up :) *hug*
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    I have had some success with drinking a couple glasses of water as a reset (thirsty or not).
  • ForMyAngelBaby
    ForMyAngelBaby Posts: 123 Member
    Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I guess I never realized how self-sabotaging I am. Your posts helped open m eyes up to see that even though I had a bad week, it does not have to dictate my future and it does not excuse me from continuing to eat badly either. I'm back on the wagon today and working hard.

    I've changed my mind about the past week. Yes I made mistakes, BUT I learned some important lessons:
    1) I can't allow myself to go completely off track because it starts the cycle all over again
    2) Just because I'm going somewhere that will have junk food doesn't mean I need to eat it in massive quantities, it's okay to have a small portion, but not eat as much as I used to
    3) I'm going to make mistakes, I'm human - but I'm not going to be a victim of my circumstances any longer.
  • mammacoty
    mammacoty Posts: 45 Member
    I too have had days where I totally fail in food choices, and then find myself not choosing well for a week or two after that. I agree with everyone's advice. You can't use that as an excuse to continue to make bad choices...it's a vicious cycle no one should have to ride. I'm glad to see the lessons you learned for the future. Here a few things I use to remind myself in situations like that.

    ~If you are going somewhere that you know will not have the best food choices, it's best to plan ahead. Get a great workout in that morning, so you earn some extra calories you can eat. Eat fiber rich, low calorie filling foods like veggies and soup before the party. Drink lots of water! It helps you feeling full and is oh-so healthy for you. Bring a healthier choice as an dish to add to the spread. I always bring veggies and my healthier dill dip to parties, so I have a go-to snack.

    ~ Remind yourself how addictive sugar and processed foods are for your body. Once you cut out the processed sugar from your diet, the cravings for it end. But one slide and it's whispering in your ear again. Use that way of thinking to either break the bad eating cycle, or to avoid eating something that is really a bad choice.

    ~Portion control is everything!
  • nannyal
    nannyal Posts: 50
    Come on your doing so well. Its not failing its being human. Put this behind you make a plan of what you are going to eat for the next few days, add a few treats just keep within your calorie allowance. If you need extra make yourself do exercise for it first.
  • phoenixrizez
    phoenixrizez Posts: 50 Member
    Don't beat yourself up!! Progress is a process. We all will fall but you have to get back at it! I just had junk LAST NIGHT that I KNEW I shouldn't be eating. As a result I feel pretty crappy today...and I am further than I want to be from my end of February goal. Still, today is a new day and I am going to give it another try. So should you! Don't let this setback turn you off from making good changes in your life. Add me if you need more support!
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    Look, this is going to sound mean, but seriously - stop trying to do it, and just do it.

    All the time you have the narrative in your head that you are "trying to do it", you have a pacifier, a rationalization - you can mess up as much as you want, so long as you trying. If 'trying' burned calories, we'd none of us be here.

    You are either doing it, or you aren't doing it. Decide today that you are going to eat below your TDEE every day. And then do it.
  • brynnsmom
    brynnsmom Posts: 945 Member
    This happens to me to. You have not failed! Start again today. You can do it.
  • ForMyAngelBaby
    ForMyAngelBaby Posts: 123 Member
    So for everyone who gave my a word of encouragement - however stern or kind it was- thank you! I really appreciate your input and I'm right back on the wagon again. No more what if's, no more doubts - I'm doing this!
  • cosplayerkyo
    cosplayerkyo Posts: 30 Member
    That's the spirit! Just know that your progress to your success will also motivate others :)
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,333 Member
    the key to losing your weight will be your ability to jump right back on plan when you fall off the wagon. That is more important than eating perfectly every single day..which is IMPOSSIBLE. Cut yourself a break girl...and just get back on track right now. :drinker:
  • ForMyAngelBaby
    ForMyAngelBaby Posts: 123 Member
    the key to losing your weight will be your ability to jump right back on plan when you fall off the wagon. That is more important than eating perfectly every single day..which is IMPOSSIBLE. Cut yourself a break girl...and just get back on track right now. :drinker:

    See my last post
  • Aleta7
    Aleta7 Posts: 92
    When I quit smoking I did it cold turkey..I turned my craving into a little character Called "Nicodemon" and I would have imaginary fights with him so I would not smoke...I ate alot to cope with the cravings also..so now I am fighting what I Call a "FoodNic" It is a conglomerate of all the foods I should be wary of. I imagine a little character that has the personality of a spoiled two year old who wants me to eat. Saying no can be wearing just like a two year old. but, sometimes they are hard to fight. Just keep trying.
  • samanthachen
    samanthachen Posts: 360 Member
    You have not failed! The only failure would be to give up and walk away, and even then you could change that "failure" into "setback". Look how far you have come. 13 lbs is a glorious achievement. I read something that said: you can quit today, but how will you feel about it in 3 months when you could have been 10-15lbs lighter, still?

    You will get back up, even if it takes a bit. Do this the right way which means not making this a fad diet. We are all here to cheer you on. You've got this! They call it a journey because it WILL be filled with challenges, temptations, and lengthy stretches. Take your time. Enjoy the trails along the way, but always come back to the main road. It is not a failure to have a bad day, a bad week, or a bad month. You are rocking the crud out of this site; 13 lbs lost is amazing!

    You can do this!!!

    I look forward to reading your success post in the future!

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