Never had luck sticking to a plan... ever

I am fairly young and not that overweight or anything. I have generally been happy just being a bigger girl. But i am slowly crossing the threshold between being a larger female and being overweight, out of shape, and unhappy.

So since high school, when I began to realize I was always a wider girl than everyone around me, I have done things off and on to try to curb that. Usually that meant dieting for a week then giving up. Or exercising for three days then giving up.

Over the years, my average pounds are slowly growing, and now I'm about 30 lbs heavier than my "skinny" high school weight. And over the years I have continued with this random drive to start a diet and fitness plan, just to give it up within weeks. The longest I've ever stuck to something was like 2.5 months. Lost 15 lbs that time, only to gain it back plus another 10.

My problem has to be motivation. What else can it be? Once again, I'm on a kick that I've been on since the beginning of this year when I did a big hiking trip and felt it was a good opportunity to start changing my life. I was good about sticking with my "plans" all through January, then dropped it all for the entire month of Feb, and now I'm inspired to start again.

So..... if anyone out there has experience with this problem of not being able to stick with basically anything, please give me some advice! I want to overcome this motivational blockade and make real life-changes that I can stick with. I have the inner drive.... I just don't know how to channel that into an actual workable program yet.

Replies

  • nomoremuffintop42
    nomoremuffintop42 Posts: 129 Member
    i always have had trouble...somedays are good some not so good..for me staying low carb always works seems to cut down on my wanting food all the time...i do have my days (like yesterday when i gave into chuck cheese pizza)but this works best for me i have less cravings..but problem now is moving...i need excerise motivation since i no longer have a gym membership!
  • rwhyte12
    rwhyte12 Posts: 204 Member
    I think the mistake people make is not finding a way to put exercise into their daily lives. It doesn't require motivation to do something fun with your colleagues like take a walk. I played basketball on my break and sometimes do yoga in my office for ten minutes at a time. Walking in snow counts as snow shoeing.

    So sometimes, it's not just motivation but a habit with the exercise.

    The happier you are, the more you eat. Hold yourself accountable with MFP.
  • doesn't require luck. It requires commitment
  • MeanSophieCat
    MeanSophieCat Posts: 200 Member
    One of the best things that has helped me stick to a plan is not to quit when I have a bad day (or two).

    In the past, I would do well for a week, maybe two and then have a total breakdown. Eat two servings of cookies, share a pizza with my husband, just something outside my plan. In the past, I would then (to use a phrase of my coworkers) "shoot for the moon". I would say, "Well, I screwed up. Too late now. Better eat more cookies or more pizza or just MORE."

    Now, I realize screw-ups are part of life. Control the damage and move on. New day. New opportunity to be better to my body.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

    Take it from one who was your age once thinking what you're thinking now: "Diets" and "plans" are doomed because they're short term. Think of it as a lifestyle. . . . a habit. . . -- something long term. Your patience will be rewarded.
  • HannahsBestLife
    HannahsBestLife Posts: 209 Member
    Not sure if this is the reason for you but the reason I used to have trouble sticking with things was just my approach, Instead of thinking of changing my life style and getting fit and healthy I would think of it as a diet and all I would think about was all the foods I was missing out on. Once I got it into my head to change things bit by bit starting with cutting out soda, then adding more exercise, swapping to trim milk etc it became a lot easier and I have been really good :bigsmile:

    Another problem I would have is that I would become 'TOO' focused... By this I mean that I would be so focused on 'dieting' that I would say no to dinner with my friends because I considered eating out as breaking my diet, I would think in my head, 'urgh, I look so fat today, I don't want to meet up with my friends' This negative thinking resulted in me just gaining even more weight, losing my social life and making me even more unhappy'

    Anywho I know i'm kinda rambling a bit but I guess my point is, Don't think of this as just a program or as a bridge to your new 'skinny' life, Just think of today as the first day of your new healthy life and go from there, Just smile and take it one day as a time and you'll be fine :) If you do have a day where you go over calories and don't exercise or anything, don't think of it as a failure then make a plan to 'start again on Monday' just tell yourself 'oops, had a wee hiccup' and carry on :)
    Good luck x <3
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    I think the biggest help is changing your mindset and not "going all out."

    Start by making small, purposeful changes. Once you master one thing, like tracking everything you eat every day, then add another thing, like meeting your calorie goal or meeting your protein goal. Once you have that down, add in exercise 2 or 3 times a week. When you find something you like, increase the number of times a week or the length of your workout.

    The most important thing is to remember that it's not all or nothing. If you mess up, start again that day. If you fail one day, re-start the next. Remember that living a healthy lifestyle is forever, not just until your scale shows you a favorable number.
  • You sound just like me, except I never lasted longer than 3 days on diet or exercise.

    This time, it's been over a week and I don't see myself quitting ever. The trick for me was to make changes to my diet that don't kill my motivation, and to find exercise to do at home, anytime.

    So I've replaced refined grains with whole ones, added a bunch more protein and vegetables, and figured out when to eat that is comfortable for me.

    I never had a chance when I tried going to the gym because I'm a homebody. So I found this http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2009/12/09/beginner-body-weight-workout-burn-fat-build-muscle/ and I alternate that with hula hooping. I can do it just in my bra and sneakers if I want and I can watch TV and make fun of my cat while I do it.

    Another thing is that my husband is committed to this with me. Having a partner is something new for me.

    But most of all, now I have real reasons to want to change my lifestyle. Real, deep reasons. Like having better sex, being a fit mom in the future to be a good example, and feeling better. Not just looking better, though that will be a plus. And finally, I want to be strong and agile so in case of zombie apocalypse I will have a better chance.
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    It might not just be motivation. It might also be trying to change too much too quickly. If you've tried fad diets, those tend to not work because you're not learning and developing lifetime habits. Or if you like certain foods but have forbidden them and you are unhappy with your diet, then that also eventually leads to giving up and overeating those foods once you allow them.

    Strict diets work for some people but not for everyone. As someone who used to fad diet and has a really hard time banning foods, that doesn't work for me, personally. Instead of banning foods, I try to find healthier versions of them. Hungrygirl.com and skinnytaste.com have great recipes for healthy versions of typically unhealthy foods. I also try to eat cleaner- not 100% clean all the time but now I try to make my own soups instead of buying them, and I eat fruit and veggies with hummus as snacks, instead of "100 cal packs" and baked chips...salads or meat and veggies for lunch instead of Lean Cuisines (though I still have those occasionally on super-busy days), etc.

    It's easy to start off really gung-ho about something but it's hard to keep that motivation long-term. Maybe try slowly changing things. For example, if you're mostly sedentary, instead of swearing you'll go the gym an hour every day, try just walking 15 minutes every day, or going to the gym three times a week for 30 minutes. For food, try making small changes such as having veggies with your meal instead of rice or pasta. If you have time, try one new recipe a week- that helps keeps things mixed up, and fun, so weight-loss doesn't feel so much like a chore.

    For SOME people, even having ONE cheat meal a week helps because it gives you a chance to still enjoy those foods (but maybe have a smaller portion, or if you eat at a restaurant, ask for a box up front and box up half before you start to eat).

    Again, these things don't work for everyone. But what you described is VERY familiar to me, so these are some things that helped me.
  • sofielein
    sofielein Posts: 539 Member
    I agree with MeanSofieCat. It was a very surprising feeling (and a big relief) that after a so called "off" day (pasta, bread, whatever) it was in fact POSSIBLE to just keep on working on the good thing. It is totally doable. You just get up the next day and make salad again.
    I built this into the diet. Saturday, or Sunday, good food time comes :) Instead of feeling guilty or failed the next day, I think back "what a lovely dish I had yesterday" with almost like perverse pleasure. You need to be able to enjoy the food!

    Of course, most of the time, you have to focus on learning healthier eating. But not ALL the time.
  • BillRicks1
    BillRicks1 Posts: 473 Member
    Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

    Take it from one who was your age once thinking what you're thinking now: "Diets" and "plans" are doomed because they're short term. Think of it as a lifestyle. . . . a habit. . . -- something long term. Your patience will be rewarded.

    Exactly this. I always tell my clients/customers "The only common denominator with every thing you've tried and failed at in the past is YOU!" Do not TRY to lose weight or TRY to get in better shape. "Do or do not - there is no try". As a personl wellness coach, I;m in the business of changing habits. It can be done but the client/person has to have the will to change..
  • Tasdv
    Tasdv Posts: 1
    I hate to say it, i struggle too...but the bottom line is that we just have to practice good old fashion discipline. It is not easy or pleasant, but we have to learn to make good choices and be proud of the times we do! Every piece of food we put in our mouth is a choice, choosing to not exercise is a choice. I am working on this myself...holding me and only me accountable for the decisions I make. Not easy, but necessary....if it was easy we wouldn't be here!
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    doesn't require luck. It requires commitment

    ^ and patience.
  • MrsBozz1
    MrsBozz1 Posts: 248 Member
    I have NEVER been an active person. Lazy!! Lol! But I also have not gained a lot over the years.(thank God) I have 40 lbs total that I want to lose, I am 6'1" For me it's the thought of being in control of myself. If I really want to be strong, healthy and look great I need to be in control of myself!! Laziness will not win! I am worth fighting for! I will not let anything control my actions! The more I make my lazy butt move the better I feel. That yummy is calling me, I say NO and walk away. It's a powerful feeling! :-) That's me anyway, for what it's worth. Good luck! You CAN do this!
  • butler879
    butler879 Posts: 64 Member
    Wanting to lose weight wasn't enough for me. I needed a reason, a goal for why I wanted to lose it. Find a specific reason, not just I want to be healthy, I want to be skinny.

    Understand the simple concept of burning more calories than you consume and find YOUR way to do it.

    Try different types of exercising. Maybe you haven't really found the one you like. The right one is enjoyable and makes you want to go back.

    Kill flavored beverages. Don't drink you calories or sugar. It's such a waste and does nothing for you.
  • Engpm
    Engpm Posts: 5 Member
    My piece of advice is "don't go into this alone" ... Pick a friend (or few) on MFP and start chatting with them on daily basis ... This will keep you going on even during the down times ... At least you won't totally lose it as much ;)
  • prokomds
    prokomds Posts: 318 Member
    My most reliable source of exercise, by far, is the volleyball team I joined. It's not necessarily a grueling workout, but I go play with friends, run around some, and because it's on my calendar and my friends are relying on me, I don't skip it. The hour or two passes by quickly, whereas a half hour in the gym can seem like forever. And going to the gym is way too easy to avoid...

    Finding something that's guaranteed exercise in your week helps a lot. I still try and lift weights and do other active things, but even if that doesn't happen, at least I've played sports once/twice in the week, you know? Get something on your calendar that you just assume you're going to attend, and anything else you talk yourself into doing on top of that feels like awesome bonus.

    And if you're like me, trading a weekly happy hour for a weekly sports day really adds up, calorie-wise, after awhile. If you bring friends, you probably won't be the only person appreciating the extra activity in your week. Good luck!