Help. I Am Struggling

amandalynnh3 · February 2013

Hello all. This is my first real post. Here's the condensed backstory: I've been big my whole life. Constant bullying and a difficult childhood left me with some chronic low self esteem. I ate because I was sad, bored, lonely, happy, and mad. I ate too much of the wrong things for a long time. I've lost weight and gained it back many times. I'm back on the wagon again and I WANT IT TO WORK THIS TIME. I want to make a lasting change. I've lost 25 lbs since October.

I can workout like a boss when I keep myself in the habit of doing it. I'm talking like cardio and strength training 4 or 5 days a week. For a gal my size, I think i'm actually very healthy. I am very strong and can throw down when it comes to strength training and I am running two miles everyday. With that said, any disruption to my routine will send my workout schedule down the drain.

Food is my main problem. I end up cheating almost everyday. I always have such good intentions. I start off each day perfectly. I have my meals planned out and I intend to go to the gym. Then there's free yummy BBQ at work, or someone brought in cookies, or I stick to my sad healthy lunch only to cave at dinner and go out to eat. I have ABSOLUTELY NO willpower and I am constantly being tempted. This is so frustrating! Between my complete lack of willpower, my binging, and emotional eating habits I don't know if I will ever get it together. I can exercise with the best of them, but that won't make a difference as long as my eating habits are out of control.

I don't even know what I'm looking for from you guys. I guess motivation... tips.. hope... anything. Whatever ya'll have, I'm listening. Help.

connie1208 · February 2013

Take it one day at the time..it takes 21 days to establish good habits..Follow you MFP food and excersice goals and you will reach your desired weight...Good Luck!!

randeekirk2009 · February 2013

I feel your pain! I have been trying to get in shape since November and havent lost any weight. I only go to the gym twice a week and have personal trainer. I definitely understand how you feel about always being tempted. I dont think I can give you any advice since I am in the same boat, but I can say this week has started off pretty good for me since I started logging my food and weighing in everyday. I dread the weighin but I think it helps keep me focused during the day. Have you been logging your food and weight? I have lost a pound since Monday so I guess that's a start! Hang in there!

nattycalder · February 2013

Before you reach for that cookie or that piece chocolate, first ask yourself how you will feel if you eat this treat (guilty, satisfied)? It makes you think twice about the food decision that you're making. If you decide that what you really want a cookie, then have it. Just remember:everything in moderation.

blondie0942 · February 2013

When I'm tempted with unhealthy food (and I often am), I look at the calorie content of whatever it is that I want to eat (cookies, a slice of cake, whatever) and compare it to the amount of time it would take for me to burn off those calories with exercise and ask myself, "is it really worth it?" Most of the time, it itsn't. But on the rare occasion that it is, I go ahead and eat it!

That's just a way I rationalize a temptation and it usually keeps me from pigging out. It may help you too. Good luck, and great job on exercising! That's quite impressive

soniabogonia · February 2013

I agree that it takes time.

Try focusing on 1 thing a week. For example,

Portion control
More protein
Healthy snacks
Drink water
Avoid sugary drinks
Eat 3 serving of fruit
Eat 3 serving of vegetables
No pastries

These things will become habits and you will begin to see better results.

styledsky · February 2013

Give yourself some credit. Please read these excerpts from your original post:

I can workout like a boss when I keep myself in the habit of doing it.

I have ABSOLUTELY NO willpower

You HAVE got that willpower, otherwise you wouldn't be able to go 4-5 workouts per week. Start believing in yourself. Give yourself permission to change and develop new, healthy habits like the exercise schedule you already have. The rest will follow.

Rhonnie · February 2013

I would start by just logging your food, don't worry so much about staying under a certain goal or anything - just the logging alone with make you be mindful of what you eat and also get you used to looking at portion sizes and stuff. After a week see what your average daily calorie intake is and then set a goal to be under that by a certain percentage. Set yourself some other small goals and concentrate on building on your successes.

As for falling of the wagon, I completely understand because I have that same issue in other areas of my life. I saw something today that said something like "a day without fitness is a like a night without sleep'. Maybe think of it that way... if you 'fell off the wagon' and didn't sleep well, or even not at all, one night you wouldn't just stop sleeping forever would you?

Finally, remember that one day does not make or break you - it's all about the trend.

You can do this!!!

Peanutbutterx · February 2013

Hey, first of all, it'a good thing is that you are healthy! thats the most important thing. Secondly, the best advice i can give you for will power is to pray about it and ask God to give you the strength to stick to your plan and meet your goals. Whenever you feel tempted just say a prayer for strength and try to avoid situations where you will be tempted for a little while. If someone offers you something at work, its OK to say no

The first couple weeks are always the hardest, but it will get easier after that, I really hope everything works out for you.. your strong, you can do this!!

izzydino · February 2013

I found that sticking to calories for 1 lb a week helped me from turning into a junk goblin

. If you err forgive yourself... Your doing great.

cominupmilhouse · February 2013

Well congrats on your 25 lbs so far, that's awesome!!!

Do you log EVERYTHING you eat when you binge/cheat? I find this really helps the next time I want to cheat with that same food, I think of the calorie content from the last time and it makes it a lot easier to avoid.

Something that stopped my binging completely was going low carb. Cutting out sugars and simple carbs all together makes it sooo much easier to avoid them! Your body no longer craves them, it's quite something! This is the best way because it's not enough to get rid of the food itself, you have to get rid of the actual DESIRE for the craved foods! That way there is no deprivation, we all know where deprivation leads...

kabankscrimeexaminer · February 2013

Amanda,
I completely understand the temptations I'm a military wife with four boys, it can be very hard to stay focused, but what I try to do is to look at the positive things, one thing I think is that you should focus on is how amazing you are for already loosing 25 lbs. You had the will to do that so you have it in you to go the rest of the way. There is an awsome saying from a clean eating documentary that i love "instead of thinking to yourself I want it but cant have it, think to your self I can have it but dont want it." If you get the urge to go out to dinner decide to stay in a help out your pocket book. I have the same problem when going out, or to parties I just try to use visualization I hold the picture of what I want to look like in my mind and how much work and effort i have already put into my body and suddenly the food i was looking at isnt so tempting anymore. My happiness is more important than bbq, your happiness is more important than bbq. YOU GOT THIS your worth it darlin!

ldrosophila · February 2013

I dont know if you are in counseling, but that might be a good place to start especially with your past experience. With me I had to admit I am a food addict. I eat to hurt or soothe.

I struggle with this everyday after 22 days of binge free I fell into it today. But logging helps. Try to be patient with yourself do you tend to have an all or nothing attitude?

nicoled6842 · February 2013

I'd honestly suggest being diligent about logging/measuring you're food. I've tried other weightloss methods before deciding I just needed to be healthy and joined MFP, within the first week, it really helped me understand what I was consuming. I've always eating semi healthy I love fruits and veggies, I just didn't realize how MUCH I was eating. Once I became more aware of what I was putting in my mouth, it made it a lot easier to stick to it. I've also found snacking throughout the day helps. And if you like sweets, and goodies, bake them yourself. That way you know what's going into them and it tends to be better than purchased alternatives.

amandalynnh3 · February 2013

Give yourself some credit. Please read these excerpts from your original post:

I can workout like a boss when I keep myself in the habit of doing it.

I have ABSOLUTELY NO willpower

You HAVE got that willpower, otherwise you wouldn't be able to go 4-5 workouts per week. Start believing in yourself. Give yourself permission to change and develop new, healthy habits like the exercise schedule you already have. The rest will follow.

Ha. Good point. I didn't realize how contradictory those statements were.

I guess I should add that although I CAN workout at a very intense rate... If something comes up and I have to skip a day I'm out of the routine and it may be weeks before I jump back in.

I constantly feel like I'm one cheese burger away from failure... or one day off at the gym away from failure.

amandalynnh3 · February 2013

Amanda,
I completely understand the temptations I'm a military wife with four boys, it can be very hard to stay focused, but what I try to do is to look at the positive things, one thing I think is that you should focus on is how amazing you are for already loosing 25 lbs. You had the will to do that so you have it in you to go the rest of the way. There is an awsome saying from a clean eating documentary that i love "instead of thinking to yourself I want it but cant have it, think to your self I can have it but dont want it." If you get the urge to go out to dinner decide to stay in a help out your pocket book. I have the same problem when going out, or to parties I just try to use visualization I hold the picture of what I want to look like in my mind and how much work and effort i have already put into my body and suddenly the food i was looking at isnt so tempting anymore. My happiness is more important than bbq, your happiness is more important than bbq. YOU GOT THIS your worth it darlin!

You are the sweetest! Thank you!

Maris_Swan · February 2013

Take it one day at a time and log everything you are eating. Do not keep tempting foods or snacks at home, and just stay on point when you're at work. Temptation is always going to be everywhere, you have to keep focused to control it. best of luck!

runnergirl246 · February 2013

Hi there! I am definitely in the same boat as you. I have struggled with my weight my entire life (as well as struggling with bullies who would want to keep me down). I have suffered from a lot of body and self-hate as well. A few years ago I thought I had found my answer to dealing with my weight problems when I lost about 20lbs and kept it off for over a year or so.... Unfortunately what I thought was a huge win for me actually turned out to be a horrible disordered eating problem. I was eating about 1000 calories a day and working out for about an hour 7 days a week. While I felt like I was actually starting to feel good about my body, I realized I was miserable in general....I was obsessing about everything that I put in my mouth and after everything I ate I was constantly running through how much exercise I would need in order to work off those calories I just consumed.

I ended up getting help and have worked to get my disordered eating under control....now though I have put back on the 20lbs and feel like I am back where I started...unhappy with my body. Every time I try to get back "on the wagon" with eating right and exercise, I start getting worried that I will start to fall down that hill again of obsession...

I have no idea what to do!

amandalynnh3 · February 2013

Thank you all so much for the tips and the support. That's one of that things I love about this website... the community. I need all the positivity I can get.

I do log EVERYTHING that I eat for the same reason that you all are suggesting. Seeing the absurd amount of calories or sugar or fat in that BBQ sandwich is always a rude awakening. I do also look up calories before I eat something in order to decide if it's worth it. Sometimes it deters me... sometimes it doesn't.

I have a habit of justifying a binge with this "I deserve it" attitude. You know... I've been doing sooo good that I deserve this snack. That's okay every now and then or once a week, but somehow it happens everyday which is self-defeating. It's almost like I just get tunnel vision and forget about all the other times I've cheated this week HA HA!.

And yes, it's awesome that I lost 25 lbs. But I need to lose 70 more. That is a serious amount of weight. It's overwhelming to think about. I feel like there is NO room for error. I have to be on my game 24/7. So there's a lot of pressure there... hence the intensity at which I am approaching this.

I dont know if you are in counseling, but that might be a good place to start especially with your past experience. With me I had to admit I am a food addict. I eat to hurt or soothe.

I struggle with this everyday after 22 days of binge free I fell into it today. But logging helps. Try to be patient with yourself do you tend to have an all or nothing attitude?

Yup, I've been in and out of counseling. We've never really seemed to GET to the issue. And you have me pegged... I am an ALL or NOTHING girl. Always have been about everything. Do you have any tips for dealing with that?

Again, thank you everyone! Good luck with your individual weight loss/gain/muscle goals.

amandalynnh3 · February 2013

Hi there! I am definitely in the same boat as you. I have struggled with my weight my entire life (as well as struggling with bullies who would want to keep me down). I have suffered from a lot of body and self-hate as well. A few years ago I thought I had found my answer to dealing with my weight problems when I lost about 20lbs and kept it off for over a year or so.... Unfortunately what I thought was a huge win for me actually turned out to be a horrible disordered eating problem. I was eating about 1000 calories a day and working out for about an hour 7 days a week. While I felt like I was actually starting to feel good about my body, I realized I was miserable in general....I was obsessing about everything that I put in my mouth and after everything I ate I was constantly running through how much exercise I would need in order to work off those calories I just consumed.

I ended up getting help and have worked to get my disordered eating under control....now though I have put back on the 20lbs and feel like I am back where I started...unhappy with my body. Every time I try to get back "on the wagon" with eating right and exercise, I start getting worried that I will start to fall down that hill again of obsession...

I have no idea what to do!

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I will obsess over everything. And I feel like I HAVE too in order to lose weight. The intensity is too much and I end up caving. I wish I had more advice for you, but all I can say is i'm in the same boat and I think you're gorgeous just the way you are!

blobby10 · February 2013

Although I'm not being too successful on my weight loss journey, I made the decision at the start of January to clean up my eating. Starting with cutting out chocolate, biscuits, sweets and crisps. I knew all the calories, fat etc but previously it hadn't stopped me stuffing 700 calories worth of chocolate down my neck at a time.

So what was different this time? I started at a gym and when you've paid £80 for 3 months membership you don't want to sabotage it so that's helped. But the biggest difference is that I make the decision to eat or not to eat the rubbish. When I want a chocolate bar, I say to myself "Ok you are making the decision to eat this, even though you know it isn't good for you etc etc." Then I REALLY think about what sort of bar I want and so far, every time I have made the decision NOT to buy/eat it! It's saved me £60 in cash which is going towards my holiday in August and even though I've lost no weight (got 14-21lbs to lose) I'm proud of myself for being strong!

You ARE a strong person and you CAN choose to eat healthily if you wish! Try going cold turkey from chocolate, cakes, sweets, take away for a week and see how you get on!

Hope this helps

B x

runnergirl246 · February 2013

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I will obsess over everything. And I feel like I HAVE too in order to lose weight. The intensity is too much and I end up caving. I wish I had more advice for you, but all I can say is i'm in the same boat and I think you're gorgeous just the way you are!

We definitely are in the same boat! You have accomplished so much already and you are beautiful so should definitely be proud of that. While I obviously haven't figured much out, I think if you just try to keep a balance in your life you will be able to continue to accomplish your weight loss goals. Just don't fall down that road of obsessing too much otherwise you will end up miserable like I was a few years ago (I refused to go out with friends to eat or for a few drinks because I didn't want to think about the calories). The key is to not deprive yourself....many websites I have read and my nutritionist that helped me through the tough times always encouraged me to treat myself (either with chocolate, a pair of shoes, or a new outfit for my new body) when I reached some type of goal.

Three4MeNHim · February 2013

I know how you feel. I only have about 20lbs to lose but I've been trying to lose it for 2 years. I always start eating healthy and working out, I lose 4 or 5lbs and then I lose control and gain it back. I know that's not a lot of weight but it's still frustrating.

I don't have a lot of will power when it comes to anything to do with chocolate, cake, homemade cookies or any sweets. I can't even have a bag of icing sugar in the house because when I'm craving sweet things, I will make myself a little bowl of icing to eat! That's so embarrassing to admit to the world.
But then someone told me about MFP and I came here and logged all my food and it's really holding me accountable to what I'm putting in my body. Sure I still have days where I'll eat too much or not enough of the right foods, but seeing it on my food diary makes me want to do better for the next day!
One thing I do for myself is allow myself to have a treat everyday. Usually it's york peppermint patties (50calories each) or a banana fried in a pan with coconut oil and cinnamon, yum! (about 150 calories) I look forward to it everyday and that's what keeps me going!

Do small changes. Experiment with different ways to avoid temptation and you'll get there. You can do this!

danika2point0 · February 2013

I had similar struggles last year. I was killin' it on the workout front but eating like a horse!

It's only this year I decided to add in some healthy eating and moderation and it's awesome...The results of working out are so much better when you are eating better. I can tell you some things that helped me and I hope it might help you.

1. People always says how you look is 80-90% of your diet. Think about how hard you work and exercise...no one will 'see' all that strength underneath if you don't eat properly. And let's be honest, it's about health and how we feel and look and how we feel others perceive us.

2. An 'all or nothing' attitude can be quite detrimental because instead of minor errors in either direction, you just throw it all in. I'd suggest that this is probably related as well to the sense I get when you use the word 'cheat' that you feel deprived of something when you eat healthily. That is a problem. If you put food on a pedestal, you will ALWAYS feel deprived and that you are losing out on something. See it for what it is. Delicious in bits but if you eat it all the time or a ton of it = literally dangerously unhealthy. It's a mind game and you can win (last night, I watched my boyfriend eat an entire serving of fries and I didn't feel tempted to eat even one...It was weird and awesome...I knew I could have but I didn't WANT to...)

3. You can do it...Keep envisioning where you want to get. Each step you take in the right direction is one step closer. Always aim to go in that direction. Like someone wrote, it's about an overall trend. Not perfection...

Good luck!!!

XxX

Rhonnie · February 2013

You obviously can do this, look how successful you've been! You just need to keep making little tweaks, set yourself little goals (Things like I will not 'treat' today no matter how much I deserve it - because what I really deserve is to be healthy and happy!').

anlu37 · February 2013

I find the best way for me to stay on track is to enter all my food in the morning before I ever take a bite. This way, my food choices are not emotional ones. I make my food choices when I am not stressed, exhausted from a long week and wanting emotional comfort. Things happen. Plans need to change when life keeps going. When this happens (sometimes daily) I change my plan and i feel no guilt over needing to change my plan. But when I do it, I have to delete my previous, unemotional and nutritious choice to whatever I am currently choosing. It motivates me to make comparable caloric and nutritional changes. It keeps me honest with myself. Why am I eating? What am I eating? Is it an emotional choice or a rational one? Am I using food to reward myself or to feed my body? Anyways, I hope this helps! I've been making my food choices this way for three weeks and I've lots 10 lbs and taken a lot of emotions (especially stress!) out of my decisions. I've struggled a lot with emotions around food. l've been attending Overeaters Anonymous meetings to help me fix my broken relationship with food. I'm not an expert by far, but I feel like I've regained a lot of my control by looking at it more as a spiritual journey rather than a calories in vs calories out journey. Feel free to add me as a friend! I feel like we have similar struggles and would lot to both be able to offer and receive support from each other.

Help. I Am Struggling

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