mommy guilt

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Do any of you mommy's ever feel guilt for working out? Lately, I've struggled with guilt due to taking away time spent with my little girl, in order to work out. In many ways I believe it makes me a better mother because the workouts make me feel so great about myself. But, I can't help but have this nagging feeling of guilt. Anyway, let me know if you struggle with the same problem.

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  • anlu37
    anlu37 Posts: 100 Member
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    Think of it this way, we all have buckets. There are things in life that drain our buckets and things that fill our buckets. We can't fill our kids' buckets if we are not filling our own! If working out is helping you refill your leaky bucket, then it just means you have more to give your daughter.
  • JenniferNoll
    JenniferNoll Posts: 367 Member
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    An hour or two a day away from your daughter is not going to make or break your relationship with her or stunt her development. The fact is, you're doing her a favor by taking the time to work out. You're giving her years of a healthier mommy. You'll be able to do more with her, and keep up with her when you do it.

    I'm also a mommy, and I practice attachment parenting (albeit a modified version,) I really sometimes think that the only reason my kids are still alive is that hour or two a day that I take out for myself.

    Keep it up. It's good for you and her, too.
  • JenMc14
    JenMc14 Posts: 2,389 Member
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    This is one of the reasons I work out in the mornings while my kids are still sleeping. I'm also more inclined to actually do it then. So, even though my kids might be watching TV in another room, I'm still "available" for them, if they want me in the evenings. ;) I do sometimes go for an extra run/walk on the treadmill, but if I need to be interrupted, It's ok, so I don't mind. If I was a SAHM, I don't think it would "bother" me as much to spend an hour working out away form my kids, but, I work all day, so, what works for me is to get up at 4:15-4:30 and get my workout in. Kids are (usually) sleeping, so they're not "missing" me.

    It's also important to remember that the better you take care of yourself, the better you can take care of your child.
  • SCtolulu
    SCtolulu Posts: 154 Member
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    How old is your daughter? I used to have guilt all the time about doing just about anything that wasn't with my daughter. Funny thing is, after spending so much time doing things with her she really doesn't remember any of it! :) I wish I would have given myself a break those years before school started!
  • Wrenbot87
    Wrenbot87 Posts: 100 Member
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    I make time at night, after my son has gone to sleep. If I can I go to the gym...if now I have some home workout DVD's I can do. That would be my suggestion!
  • verdemujer
    verdemujer Posts: 1,397 Member
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    I have had some guilt but I've realized its really not a good thing. It's better for them and me if I work out and be that positve role model. When my girls were little, yes, I did exercise and it felt like I was sneaking time away from them. Then I started working out during their activity time or making it family time. When my son was little, my rec center had a place where he could go and be active (climbing jungle gym for him) while I worked out. Now he's too old for it so he sits and reads while I spin as those are very early morning classes on the weekends. We keep trying him on the bikes and he can't wait until he's tall enough to join class too. But my other class - he can't until he's 14 (that's 5 years away). So he goes and plays basketball or climbs on the climbing wall or he sits and reads. But he's also in Karate for two nights a week. He's a leader for the first class so I tend to work out during that class and watch/help lead in his class. Then we have the adult class and we do HIIT after that and he joins in the HIIT session too. I've learned over time, that my kids need to know I value the time they spend physically active as much as I value the time we spend going to a movie or a free day at the museum or hanging out at home. So my mommy guilt doesn't exist anymore.
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
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    If I don't fill my own bucket, I end up sick, crabby, or both. Sick = no bucket filling time for anyone. Crabby = I'm emptying everyone's buckets. Therefore, to minimize mommy guilt, I must fill my own bucket.
  • rsharper97
    rsharper97 Posts: 242 Member
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    You don't say where you workout. I know when my kids were little, they used to love going to the playroom in the gym while I worked out. They used to beg to go instead of just staying home. That eased my guilt a lot.
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
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    Set a good example for your daughter and make yourself a priority, guilt free.
  • mommy1126
    mommy1126 Posts: 146 Member
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    I have had guilt. But, I sometimes go in the morning, so as to least impact my time away since my kids are usually still sleeping. I also usually go on my lunch break at work, so that does not impact them at all. And, I have found that when I exercise I feel better, so I feel more like actually doing something with them when I get home. Now, I don't feel guilty. I feel like me exercising is a win/win situation. I get to exercise, they get a happier more active Mommy!
  • Melodypharmon
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    I can totally relate! I wrote this (http://www.derekandmelody.blogspot.com/2013/02/sometimes-i-miss-person-i-was.html) when I was feeling particularly guilty. My husband encourages me to exercise because I am nicer to him when I do. It's important to take care of you too.
  • kmt2323
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    Yes. I am dealing with the same thing. I have been missing bedtime for my son so I can make it to yoga. But, there really is NO other time I can make it since I commute and work full-time. But, the guilt just never goes away.
  • Shelbert79
    Shelbert79 Posts: 517 Member
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    I either workout in the morning before anyone wakes up or right after work and before I pick them up from daycare. One, so I can get in the full workout w/o being interuppted and Two, so I'm not taking time away from them. But I also feel like it's 'my' time, I'm working out and getting healthy for me, so I know they'll be fine w/o me while I get my exercise in.
  • dolly3186
    dolly3186 Posts: 81 Member
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    My daughter is three and she's such a good sport when I work out. I try to involve her. I mainly do workouts at home (step aerobics, Jillian Michaels DVD's etc.)

    I do them in the living room and my daughter does them too. Well, she marches in place and just jumps around and feels like she's exercising. It's a lot of fun to bring her into it with me. I even let her use my resistance band, she plays with that and has a lot of fun while I really exercise.

    I feel good because she's growiing up seeing me exercise daily and I hope it'll rub off on her to continue. :)

    Maybe that's something you can do?
  • caribear1984
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    I used to feel this way, but I will echo what previous posters have said. You are doing this to benefit her too, not just yourself. You are giving her a mommy that can run and play with her for a long time to come. Plus you are setting a good example for her. I used to feel bad about this until my son started asking me to help him exercise too. Now we stay active together, and it makes me feel great to hear him ask, "can we go run now, mom?" and be able to tell him yes.
  • curlygirly80
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    I do feel guilty when my kids are awake and I spend that time working out, especially during the week when I also work and come home to take care of them and maintain the house. On a weekend I don't mind becuase it's 1 hour of the day that they can stay with dad while I run downstairs and bang out my weights. I usually wait for them to go to bed then I sneak downstairs for mommy time. If I am home with them during the day I will get a walk in with them or play outside and count those steps toward my exercise. It sucks but sometimes I think we need to put our families aside and take care of us first. As moms we are to giving and forget about ourselves.
  • brynnsmom
    brynnsmom Posts: 945 Member
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    I totally understand. It's really hard for me to put exercise before time with my daughter. She's only two and spends all day in day care while I'm at work. The best solution I can find, at least for me, is to try and incorporate some exercise in to my time with her; we take a lot of walks to the playground after work, when it's nice outside. And bike rides, where she can ride in her trailer. On the weekends I feel less guilty setting aside a little time strictly for myself.
  • kini324
    kini324 Posts: 239 Member
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    I only work out at home, usually before they wake up in the morning. There is no way I could get to a gym and get a decent work out in. I also like working out at home. I work full time too, so I don't want to be gone from them anymore than I have to!
  • BCSMama
    BCSMama Posts: 348
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    I hate mommy guilt and it seems like most moms have it for one reason or another. I try to fit my workouts during times that my kids are in their after school activities or in the mornings (2x a week dh gets them off to school). So, while there is time in there that I could be spending with them, it's minimal. I think the benefits of modeling a healthy lifestyle and being fit so that I can do physical things with them outweigh the small amount of real time that I could be spending with them.
  • wapeters
    wapeters Posts: 15 Member
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    Thanks everyone for the support and tips! I read every post. All were very helpful. MFP is great for this reason. I woke up early this morning and got the workout done before the 3 year old was awake. I will go this route as much as possible! Shout out to anlu37, I love the bucket idea! Will for sure think about this one the next time I feel guilt. Again, thanks for all of the help! PS as of today I am 3.4 pounds away from goal.