Motivation and husbands..feedback please:(

I too had thought of going to the Y where there is more equipment available but the thought of other people watching me made me change my mind. If i had someone to go with me and workout with me I would definitely go.It is also too expensive for me. i am fortunate to have a treadmill to use at home so I will stick to that.. A suggestion if I may... talk to your husband and tell him how u feel and ask him to stay with u on your first visit and show u how to work the equipment and even work out with u the first time so u will feel comfortable. Its not going to hurt him to not do his thing one time. I'm hoping he will do this for u. There will be all different sizes of people there and don't worry about them. U r in this for u

VERY Often a gym will provide you with one visit with a trainer to show you how to do the machines.

If yours does not - ask the staff to show you - I'd suspect that they would be willing to show you.

Also, if your husband is experienced - and apparently upset - ask him to show you how to use them and help you set up a plan.

Guys _usually_ like to fix things. Give him the opportunity to show his expertise and help you - I'd bet he'll take it.

As for the other people - I sincerely doubt that they will be staring and judging. They will probably be working out and ignoring everything else as much as they can.

Just drag yourself there, in the door and out onto the floor. It will not be anything like you are worried about.

VERY Often a gym will provide you with one visit with a trainer to show you how to do the machines.

If yours does not - ask the staff to show you - I'd suspect that they would be willing to show you.

Also, if your husband is experienced - and apparently upset - ask him to show you how to use them and help you set up a plan.

Guys _usually_ like to fix things. Give him the opportunity to show his expertise and help you - I'd bet he'll take it.

As for the other people - I sincerely doubt that they will be staring and judging. They will probably be working out and ignoring everything else as much as they can.

Just drag yourself there, in the door and out onto the floor. It will not be anything like you are worried about.

I agree with this. The gym will have staff who will show you, and will be very, very happy to do so. And BELIEVE ME... anyone who has time to look at other people and judge is really not working hard enough, and very soon you will look better than them!

The WORST that will happen is that you don't go and you stay the same as you are right now. Take deep breaths before you go and while you are there. Trust that you are doing the right thing, and that there are literally thousands of people who were in the same boat as you. And remember that we are all cheering you on!

Hey guys.. This is my first post ever and I feel extremely awkward!

I've been eating extremely clean for about a week and am dying to start working out at the gym. The problem is I have such a huge amount of anxiety that I bailed out tonight before my first go at it.
My husband has been working out 4-5 days per week for the last 3 months and he doesn't understand where I'm coming from so he's furious that I bailed "already" and that I committed to a year long membership.
I WANT to go to the gym but it gives me such a nervous uncomfortable feeling in my stomach... I hate the thought of other people staring and judging. I have NO idea what I'm doing-no idea how to use any equipment and no money for a personal trainer. Can anyone relate to this? If so, please share how you overcame... And ideas on how to deal with my husband would be amazing too...

Thanks

Were you in the parking lot watching me lol? I just joined a gym 2 days ago. The guy wasn't super helpful other than walking me through the place and showing me how to use ONE machine. I went in yesterday for the first time, did the treadmill and promptly walked outside and sat in my truck. And sat. I wanted to be inside so bad and busting butt on a machine, but was too embarassed to ask for help. My husband finally showed up and went in with me and helped me. I felt so dumb. I will say this, just get in there and get past the 'first time' and you will be ok! I feel totally fine now.

Put your headphones on and just do it like everybody else there. If nervous find a treadmill and walk it for a half hour for first time. Relax and take it slow, lots of newbies this time of year. Dont stress it, just do it.

Don't be afraid. Everyone is there for the same reasons as you. To get fit and healthy. Don't look at anyone. just go in there and do you.

We can all come up with great sounding reasons why we should not go to the gym...crowded...to tired...I will go later.... The list goes on. You need to come up with your reasons why you should go to the gym and make that your motivator. Any time I have seen large people in the gym I would look at them and say to myself "I am glad they are here now". You will find a meat head out there but ignore them and take care of you.

Since your husband works out, there's no better friend than him to help you out on getting started on how to work the machines.

People look at you long enough to see that you are NOT someone they are looking for and then they move on. Most times, they wonder if you're going to stare at them.

Keep trying.

VERY Often a gym will provide you with one visit with a trainer to show you how to do the machines.

If yours does not - ask the staff to show you - I'd suspect that they would be willing to show you.

Also, if your husband is experienced - and apparently upset - ask him to show you how to use them and help you set up a plan.

Guys _usually_ like to fix things. Give him the opportunity to show his expertise and help you - I'd bet he'll take it.

As for the other people - I sincerely doubt that they will be staring and judging. They will probably be working out and ignoring everything else as much as they can.

Just drag yourself there, in the door and out onto the floor. It will not be anything like you are worried about.

This!

I go to the gym very seldom as I have a nice set up at home, but I do like to take a class at the Y here and there or just go to get away from the house and do something else like the arc trainer which I dont have. I was hesitant when I started going to a gym because of feeling like people were looking and judging, but I found that people very seldom even pay attention. I have seen coworkers at the Y who never even noticed I was there and vice versa. I know when I go I am in my own little zone with my ear buds in. I do however look at people's shoes. I like shoes lol. Could care less what anyone else is doing.

Also rely on the support from your hubby. My hubby and I work out together quite frequently. We spot each other on weights, take classes together (I got him to try BodyPump!). It makes the whole journey so much more rewarding when you can do it together as a couple.

I, too, was extremely nervous about going to the gym. I am serverly overweight (268 lbs and I'm only 5'2''). I eventually pushed my self to go, by myself, because I didn't want my husband or a friend there with me because I was afraid they would judge me as well. From my experience I notice that people don't even pay attention to other people that are there, and there are actually a lot of overweight people there.
And like others have said, the staff members of your gym would probably be more than happy to show you how to operate the machinery. 24 hour fitness does an orientation, so that might be something that your gym offers as well.
Also, another thing that might ease your worries is if you try to go at a less popular time... early morning, late night, during the week in the middle of the day. Don't go between 4 and 7 pm.. that seems to be the most busiest time (at least at my gym) because everyone is getting off work and heading to the gym.
Hope these few ideas help... and that you can find the strength to go.

I just wanted to say I totally understand where you're coming from. I joined a gym and had so much anxiety about being judged that I didn't go for FIVE MONTHS. I kept telling myself "I'll just workout at home" but honestly, I get too distracted. Then finally I just picked a day and a time when the gym wouldn't be busy, and I made myself go for 30 minutes. It's like starting the first day of school...everyone's a little awkward and nervous on the first day, then it gets easier and more familiar with each day. Now I stay at the gym for about an hour or so because it's so peaceful and I can focus on my fitness goals. I don't compete with the girl jogging next to me. I compete with myself. I know the machines might seem intimidating, but most of them will have instructions posted on how to use them. There's also staff who can show you what to do if you're unsure. Ask questions; it's why they're there. They're not getting paid just to fold towels. It took me a few minutes to figure out the treadmill on my first day, but now I have my fav and I go watch HGTV while I jog since I don't have cable at home. Time flies when those tall, sexy Property Brothers are on!!! Helpful Hint: Don't close your eyes while jogging on a treadmill. I went flying off mine last week. Oh those distracting Property Brothers!

The cool thing is that these fears are all in your head and a good workout will help clear your mind. I used to work with the tiniest, skinniest girl, and she enjoyed working out but was SO anxious about being judged, so be aware that this fear definitely goes both ways.

As for your hubby, I'm married as well, and I adore my husband, but he's not always the most empathetic listener...which is why I have girlfriends. But I can definitely vouch for the guy who said men just want to fix things. Let your hubby help you, and make it clear that him getting frustrated is not helping either of you. Don't beat yourself up about not going to the gym so far. It's in the past. It's done. Be kind and forgiving of yourself. Then pick a day, a time, and honor your commitment to your health. If you pick a day together and he shows you some exercises and how to use some machines, I think it would help you a lot. Best of luck!

I'm probably going to sound a little harsh here, but my daighter was the same about the gym or exercising when anyone could see her. I just told her to get over herself. Honestly, no one is that interested in what you are doing at the gym. Everyone is there for their own reasons and generally people watching is not one of them.

As for not knowing what to do, this is an ideal time to get your hubby involved. Ask for his help here. When I started at the gym 25 years ago, my boyfriend (who is now my husband) took great delight in showing me how to do things at the gym - it gave him a chance to show off. Get him to show you then start and do your own research into what else you can do. NROL4W is a great program with detailed explanations on how to execute the exercises.

Apologies if I sound harsh, but sometimes we need it.

Donna

Of the people who even look up from what they're doing, a few may have unkind thoughts. Luckily, they don't matter. More (again, of those who are paying attention at all) will think you're doing a great thing. Because everyone was new to it once

Some people (like people on treadmills) are just zoning and staring for no reason at all, their eyes just kind of fall places.

Like everyone said, get someone to show you equipment so you feel comfortable.

The first time I went to a gym as an adult, felt the same as you. I thought I'd be clumsy, I wanted to feel invisible. I wore the things people who are new wear - baggy shirts and all that. (I think people wearing those things get a bit of slack.)

It didn't take long to learn enough to feel ok, and in a few weeks I was over it. Had to get smaller clothes not too long afterwards Can be the same for you

My wife liked working out more after I bought her some "cute" (I say "smart") looking workout clothes. I don't know what your budget is, but perhaps if you use a little wardrobe manipulation to help your confidence, attending the gym will be a little easier? My wife also will put on her headphones before she enters the gym and then remove them only after she's finished her workout...she says that way she feels like she's in her only little private protected world.

Regarding the "dressing up" thing to workout, ever since playing ball in college and high school, I've had my workout ritual where I bathe, dress in my favorite workout clothes (I love all nike/adidas/etc. and all black), tie a bandana on and set my ipod to my favorite music (back in the day it was a discman, and before that a walkman...haha) and then go do my thing. The whole warrior-going-to-battle prep thing has usually worked for me.

Ask your husband for patience. Just straight up tell him that even though he's eager to have you join him, his approach turns you off and doesn't help. Just ask for patience and promise you'll do your best, and then deliver!

Whatever happens...good luck to you!

I just joined a gym this week too :-) When I got the walk through I asked when the gym was the most quiet as far as the hours I'd be able to make it. Sounds like you joined without a free trial? During that period I confirmed it's super quiet 9 - 11pm and that's when I go. I made it a point to be friendly with every staff person I saw - from security to janitorial. Now they all greet me like family which helps.

I got some new physical therapy exercises this week to do while at the gym and will no doubt look ridiculous doing them. In my mind I can hear a chorus of MFPers saying "look at her wasting her time balancing on a bosu ball with 5 lb dumbbells, she should lift heavy!" :laugh: But I want full range in my shoulder back. I want to jiggle less. And I know the gym will get me there if I get myself there.