Motivation and husbands..feedback please:(
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jessicapattimore
Posts: 1
Hey guys.. This is my first post ever and I feel extremely awkward!
I've been eating extremely clean for about a week and am dying to start working out at the gym. The problem is I have such a huge amount of anxiety that I bailed out tonight before my first go at it.
My husband has been working out 4-5 days per week for the last 3 months and he doesn't understand where I'm coming from so he's furious that I bailed "already" and that I committed to a year long membership.
I WANT to go to the gym but it gives me such a nervous uncomfortable feeling in my stomach... I hate the thought of other people staring and judging. I have NO idea what I'm doing-no idea how to use any equipment and no money for a personal trainer. Can anyone relate to this? If so, please share how you overcame... And ideas on how to deal with my husband would be amazing too...
Thanks
I've been eating extremely clean for about a week and am dying to start working out at the gym. The problem is I have such a huge amount of anxiety that I bailed out tonight before my first go at it.
My husband has been working out 4-5 days per week for the last 3 months and he doesn't understand where I'm coming from so he's furious that I bailed "already" and that I committed to a year long membership.
I WANT to go to the gym but it gives me such a nervous uncomfortable feeling in my stomach... I hate the thought of other people staring and judging. I have NO idea what I'm doing-no idea how to use any equipment and no money for a personal trainer. Can anyone relate to this? If so, please share how you overcame... And ideas on how to deal with my husband would be amazing too...
Thanks
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Replies
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Given my experience at the gym, my advice is to run the other way. I'm sorry you signed a year long contract, and wish you the best of luck getting out of it. Ever.
There are thousands of workout videos that you can do at home. If you look for your local Parks and Recreation website, you can probably find a track or trail near you. A lot of them have free or very cheap fitness classes that last only a month or two.
Good luck to you. I'm sorry your husband doesn't get it. Hopefully, he will come around. :-(0 -
I too had thought of going to the Y where there is more equipment available but the thought of other people watching me made me change my mind. If i had someone to go with me and workout with me I would definitely go.It is also too expensive for me. i am fortunate to have a treadmill to use at home so I will stick to that.. A suggestion if I may... talk to your husband and tell him how u feel and ask him to stay with u on your first visit and show u how to work the equipment and even work out with u the first time so u will feel comfortable. Its not going to hurt him to not do his thing one time. I'm hoping he will do this for u. There will be all different sizes of people there and don't worry about them. U r in this for u0
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I started going to the gym a while back and was nervous at first as well. And the instructor said something like the hardest part of working out at the gym was getting in the door. I kept that in mind and continued going. Most people in the gym are there to workout and stay healthy and don't really have time to worry about you. I know that it is a lot easier said than done but you need to try. Also would it be possible to go to the gym without your husband for a time or two? Start out easy...just walk on the treadmill or ride a bike or check out a class...even if it is only for 10 minutes. You will see that it really isn't that bad.
Good luck and keep up the good work.0 -
VERY Often a gym will provide you with one visit with a trainer to show you how to do the machines.
If yours does not - ask the staff to show you - I'd suspect that they would be willing to show you.
Also, if your husband is experienced - and apparently upset - ask him to show you how to use them and help you set up a plan.
Guys _usually_ like to fix things. Give him the opportunity to show his expertise and help you - I'd bet he'll take it.
As for the other people - I sincerely doubt that they will be staring and judging. They will probably be working out and ignoring everything else as much as they can.
Just drag yourself there, in the door and out onto the floor. It will not be anything like you are worried about.0 -
Our Y has someone who will not only show you the machines, but also a body test which will tell you were you are now based on BF, Flexibility and bicep strength and tell you what your heart rate should be when working out and so on. Please ask if someone will show you.
Also, I bought three personal training sessions because that way 1) I had to go 2) I knew what machines I should focus on, and 3) I knew what weight I should be doing at.
I was so anxious and nervous and almost intimidated when I first went and now I walk in and feel like it's home. I have been going for less than a month, but I can tell you from experience, that I am not paying attention to anyone else or what they are doing (or not doing) 99% of the time, only if they are loud and obnoxious does it get my attention off of MY workout. Seriously.. no offense, but people won't pay attention to you.. they are there to get healthy
*hug*
I hope this helps 0 -
VERY Often a gym will provide you with one visit with a trainer to show you how to do the machines.
If yours does not - ask the staff to show you - I'd suspect that they would be willing to show you.
Also, if your husband is experienced - and apparently upset - ask him to show you how to use them and help you set up a plan.
Guys _usually_ like to fix things. Give him the opportunity to show his expertise and help you - I'd bet he'll take it.
As for the other people - I sincerely doubt that they will be staring and judging. They will probably be working out and ignoring everything else as much as they can.
Just drag yourself there, in the door and out onto the floor. It will not be anything like you are worried about.
I agree with this. The gym will have staff who will show you, and will be very, very happy to do so. And BELIEVE ME... anyone who has time to look at other people and judge is really not working hard enough, and very soon you will look better than them!
The WORST that will happen is that you don't go and you stay the same as you are right now. Take deep breaths before you go and while you are there. Trust that you are doing the right thing, and that there are literally thousands of people who were in the same boat as you. And remember that we are all cheering you on!0 -
Nobody at the gym cares.
Think about it - the gym's a pretty silly place. You're all running around in this little box because you all have goals of health or fitness or beauty.. so everyone's there for their OWN self. I've never seen anyone point and laugh at anyone and whenever I see someone who is just starting working out or is severely overweight all I can think is that i'm happy for them that they're there.
I feel more awkward running on the street because then you have a different situation: people not currently exercising watching you exercise. When you're exercising you have so much inner focus and endorphins you're not judging other people. And if they are judging you - which I still don't think they are - does it matter...?
I also don't understand your comment about not knowing how to use the machines. Is your husband so selfish he can't spend 30 seconds showing you how to press the start button? There are directions on each machine anyway. You don't even have to know anything.
Tough love - Just do it.
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Hey guys.. This is my first post ever and I feel extremely awkward!
I've been eating extremely clean for about a week and am dying to start working out at the gym. The problem is I have such a huge amount of anxiety that I bailed out tonight before my first go at it.
My husband has been working out 4-5 days per week for the last 3 months and he doesn't understand where I'm coming from so he's furious that I bailed "already" and that I committed to a year long membership.
I WANT to go to the gym but it gives me such a nervous uncomfortable feeling in my stomach... I hate the thought of other people staring and judging. I have NO idea what I'm doing-no idea how to use any equipment and no money for a personal trainer. Can anyone relate to this? If so, please share how you overcame... And ideas on how to deal with my husband would be amazing too...
Thanks
Were you in the parking lot watching me lol? I just joined a gym 2 days ago. The guy wasn't super helpful other than walking me through the place and showing me how to use ONE machine. I went in yesterday for the first time, did the treadmill and promptly walked outside and sat in my truck. And sat. I wanted to be inside so bad and busting butt on a machine, but was too embarassed to ask for help. My husband finally showed up and went in with me and helped me. I felt so dumb. I will say this, just get in there and get past the 'first time' and you will be ok! I feel totally fine now.0 -
You said you were wanting to work out at the gym. Then you need to do it. Ask you husband to show you how to use the machines. If he won't do it, then ask a staff member. Don't worry about people watching you or judging you. The serious ones are there to work out and they are focused on themselves, not you. The ones who aren't serious, will show up for a few weeks and then drop out. I used a gym regularly several years ago. The person that I was going with was very overweight and felt the same way you do. But it was a non issue. She conquered the machines in no time (they really are not as complicated as they look) and actually began to enjoy it. Unfortunately, we both stopped going when the membership fees increased. Just go for it.0
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Put your headphones on and just do it like everybody else there. If nervous find a treadmill and walk it for a half hour for first time. Relax and take it slow, lots of newbies this time of year. Dont stress it, just do it.0
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I have never been afraid of the gym because I don't really care what other people think of me. I always tell myself that one day they will be shocked to see the ugly duckling turn into a swan ;-)
Anyway, I would start with the easiest equipment, which is the treadmill and watch how others use the machine and slowly venture into trying those out.
If your gym has classes, you might be able to take Zumba. That is one fun class to be in if you enjoy dancing. I am bad at dancing so most of my time is spent in figuring out the steps and before I know it an hour has passed by and I have burned 600+ calories. Good luck! I signed up a two-year contract and there are days when that becomes a motivation to get my butt out the door.0 -
Don't be afraid. Everyone is there for the same reasons as you. To get fit and healthy. Don't look at anyone. just go in there and do you.0
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I just want to add my encouragement. You deserve to be able to work out wherever you want! I joined earlier this year and I see all sorts of people there. We are all there with one common bond, to be healthier in some way. It's not a fashion parade, or a beauty contest.
A few suggestions:
- Try going the first few times when it's quieter - at my gym that's at around 4 pm on a weekday.
- Pick one small goal, like I'm going to use a stationary bicycle and just cycle. You can scope out the place and begin to acclimate
- Consider asking a friend to join with you, power in pairs
I hope these ideas help.
Take care, lisalower0 -
We can all come up with great sounding reasons why we should not go to the gym...crowded...to tired...I will go later.... The list goes on. You need to come up with your reasons why you should go to the gym and make that your motivator. Any time I have seen large people in the gym I would look at them and say to myself "I am glad they are here now". You will find a meat head out there but ignore them and take care of you.0
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I agree with the person who posted:
Put your headphones on and just do it like everybody else there. If nervous find a treadmill and walk it for a half hour for first time. Relax and take it slow, lots of newbies this time of year. Dont stress it, just do it.
Go look at this page:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/gym0 -
Since your husband works out, there's no better friend than him to help you out on getting started on how to work the machines.
People look at you long enough to see that you are NOT someone they are looking for and then they move on. Most times, they wonder if you're going to stare at them.
Keep trying.0 -
I started going to the gym a while back and was nervous at first as well. And the instructor said something like the hardest part of working out at the gym was getting in the door. I kept that in mind and continued going. Most people in the gym are there to workout and stay healthy and don't really have time to worry about you. I know that it is a lot easier said than done but you need to try. Also would it be possible to go to the gym without your husband for a time or two? Start out easy...just walk on the treadmill or ride a bike or check out a class...even if it is only for 10 minutes. You will see that it really isn't that bad.
Good luck and keep up the good work.
I agree...
I have felt really uncomfortable at times too. Although, in my local gym, I have noticed that there are a LOT of very overweight people working out. So I don't get too intimidated. You better get thick-skinned now... because my understanding is as you really start dropping a noticable amount of weight you will face new adversaries! The ones who try to convince you that you are too skinny!
Also, you may want to check the library or a bookstore on workout/weight training books. I have a couple that have great information in them. This may help you get some basic weight training in while you are building your confidence to tackle new equipment!0 -
VERY Often a gym will provide you with one visit with a trainer to show you how to do the machines.
If yours does not - ask the staff to show you - I'd suspect that they would be willing to show you.
Also, if your husband is experienced - and apparently upset - ask him to show you how to use them and help you set up a plan.
Guys _usually_ like to fix things. Give him the opportunity to show his expertise and help you - I'd bet he'll take it.
As for the other people - I sincerely doubt that they will be staring and judging. They will probably be working out and ignoring everything else as much as they can.
Just drag yourself there, in the door and out onto the floor. It will not be anything like you are worried about.
This!
I go to the gym very seldom as I have a nice set up at home, but I do like to take a class at the Y here and there or just go to get away from the house and do something else like the arc trainer which I dont have. I was hesitant when I started going to a gym because of feeling like people were looking and judging, but I found that people very seldom even pay attention. I have seen coworkers at the Y who never even noticed I was there and vice versa. I know when I go I am in my own little zone with my ear buds in. I do however look at people's shoes. I like shoes lol. Could care less what anyone else is doing.
Also rely on the support from your hubby. My hubby and I work out together quite frequently. We spot each other on weights, take classes together (I got him to try BodyPump!). It makes the whole journey so much more rewarding when you can do it together as a couple.0 -
Hi!!! Slow down. Gyms are good places. I used to walk in your shoes. When I was really large (more than 120 pounds over my current weight) I could not walk into a gym without having an anxiety attck. I finally became 100% committed to getting my life in order, and committed to making life changes to better my health. I met with my doctor, and I took anti-anxiety meds for those first few months. Also, I hired a trainer, it was terribly expensive, but 100% worth the cost. This trainer worked only with me, taught me how to exercise. I set a goal to participate in a 5K run in 90 days. My trainer was with me the entire way. I learned how to measure my progress against my own self.....and how to not feel like I was competing with my spouse, or anybody else who glanced my way. Get the support you need. This is a marathon and not a race. If you get that anxiety under control, you can do this. All this happened to me in 2003.....and I have stuck with it.0
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I, too, was extremely nervous about going to the gym. I am serverly overweight (268 lbs and I'm only 5'2''). I eventually pushed my self to go, by myself, because I didn't want my husband or a friend there with me because I was afraid they would judge me as well. From my experience I notice that people don't even pay attention to other people that are there, and there are actually a lot of overweight people there.
And like others have said, the staff members of your gym would probably be more than happy to show you how to operate the machinery. 24 hour fitness does an orientation, so that might be something that your gym offers as well.
Also, another thing that might ease your worries is if you try to go at a less popular time... early morning, late night, during the week in the middle of the day. Don't go between 4 and 7 pm.. that seems to be the most busiest time (at least at my gym) because everyone is getting off work and heading to the gym.
Hope these few ideas help... and that you can find the strength to go. 0
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