Where can I find will power???!!!

I can not stay on track for aven a day.
Carbs especially sweets are my worst enemy!
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Replies

  • anlu37
    anlu37 Posts: 100 Member
    I struggle with this a lot too. The last three weeks have gone really well for me, though. To answer your question, you find the will power from your though process. I've completely cut out sugar and flour. I thought I was going to die when I made that decision...like, literally, die! But then I decided to think about it differently. Instead of thinking, "I want that and I can't have it!" I now think, "I can have that if I wanted to, but I don't want it." then I think of all the reasons I don't want it. Two common reasons for me are: it will not taste as good as being proud of my choice will feel and getting healthy is more important to me than anything I would get from that delicious brownie! But the thing I go back to the most is this quote, "When we think of this process not as deprivation, but a positive act and an ongoing spiritual discipline, we begin to find freedom" I feel more freedom in my life when I don't think of it as deprivation but as a choice to create a more disciplined person.
  • missfittin_missy
    missfittin_missy Posts: 184 Member
    I have struggled with this my ENTIRE life.... if I hadn't I wouldn't be here. As best as I can figure it the best way to approach it is 1 day at a time. I have lost as much as 70lbs before just to turn around and gain it back because I let myself get overwhelmed and fell back into old habits. Wish it were as easy as a quick fix but I guess I will just keep plugging away 1 day at a time and stop beating myself up for the days that I don't do so well. So here is to being half way through the day that I am currently trying to get through!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    Cut out the sugar. Really that's the only thing that works. The more you eat that stuff, the more you want it. Eliminating it (at least for a while) wil kill the psychological cravings as well as the physiological ones.
  • JulieDive
    JulieDive Posts: 29 Member
    Thank you for the great feedback
  • zummerzet_lou
    zummerzet_lou Posts: 159 Member
    Just take things 1 day - or even 1 hour at a time if you have to.

    It's much easier to say "just today, I will not that chocolate bar" rather than "I'm never going to eat chocolate". The longer you can stay away from the sugar treats, or the white carbs the less your body craves them and it does get easier.

    I'm still learning myself, as are many others otherwise there wouldn't be sites like this. You are not alone, and you can do this!!
  • chayleah
    chayleah Posts: 51 Member
    Go to nerdfitness.com and search for the post on willpower.

    Quick breakdown...willpower is a finite resource, as in we only have so much at any given time and once you use it up your choices start to go downhill. Better option...focus on habits.
  • imjusme
    imjusme Posts: 24 Member
    I agree with the previous posters, one day at a time. Treat everyday you avoid your triggers as a success! Have motivation handy....I have a motivation wall....I put up pictures/quotes/challenges for myself. Make your screen saver on your computer and your phone something that will remind you of why you started. We all need reminding of why we started this journey and some of us need that reminder more than others....especially when don't lose what we wanted, or didn't meet a fitness goal, you get the point.
  • palmerar
    palmerar Posts: 489 Member
    http://www.npr.org/2011/09/18/140516974/resistance-training-for-your-willpower-muscles

    That is an article about will power. Think of it as a muscle, when you exercise it a lot, it gets fatigued and does not produce like it should. When you are exercising your will power all day, it is gone by the end and you are giving in to all indulgences. But if you work it out it will get stronger...as long as you rest it appropriately. I read a different article basically explaining it the same way and even understanding what's going on helped me control more. Good luck, stay strong, don't give up!
  • melsy21
    melsy21 Posts: 193 Member
    Love this thread....my EXACT daily struggle... This is all great advice :)
  • agggie550
    agggie550 Posts: 281 Member
    You can probably find someone selling bottled will power on ebay :P

    Sorry, probably not funny, but its not something you can really find, its something you need to understand. Why do you want to stay on track, what are you working for.. what is your end goal. If you can really focus in on that, that should help you stay on track. But to often people just say I wanna loose weight, I wanna be healthier, but what is that, set a actual goal, all be it a small one, say I wanna loose X lbs this month (X being something less than 10), or I wanna decrease my body fat .5%, for me small goals was what kept me on track.
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
    I wrote two blog posts about this very thing:

    http://sarahsweightlossjourneyblog.blogspot.nl/2011/01/honeymooning-aka-will-power.html

    Honeymooning (aka Will Power)
    Honeymooning and willpower are kind of synonymous when it comes to weight loss. In the beginning I felt like I'm was in the "honeymoon" phase of my lifestyle change. I was loving it, I was seeing it through rose colored glasses, I was like a kid on Christmas morning who just ripped open a toy store full of gifts and wanted to play with every single one at once. Right now (still honeymooning) all is good, I'm right minded for the most part and I'm feeling positive. The workouts are fansatic and fun and I'm actually looking forward to doing them. I'm honeymooning with my lifestyle change.

    Similarly, willpower gives me that "warm fuzzy feeling". I can wake up and know I'm going to make good choices. I have the will power to tell my colleague "no thanks, I don't want that brownie" all three times she tries to shove them down my throat. Willpower gives me that spring in my step when I walk past the cafeteria and sit down with my prepacked lunch instead. Willpower is and can be a very positive thing.

    BUT

    Eventually the honeymoon is over and you have to get back to reality and normal life. Those new workout videos don't stay new forever. Those brownies may not always take "no" for answer if you're depending on willpower to get you through it. The eliptical machine is now another piece of gym equiptment, not the knight in shining armor it presented itself as in the beginning. So what do you do then? What do you do when you're on the flight back home from your honeymoon? What do you do when willpower has petered out and it's just you in the battle?

    You get a plan. You make a solid plan and you put it into action. You figure out how you're going to deal with it once the lifestyle change starts farting and leaving its dirty socks in the middle of the floor, 3 feet away from the laundry hamper. You have it not only in your head, but in your direct line of vision where you can see it, read it, know it and do it.

    When willpower is sitting in the recliner, hogging the remote, tempting you with just one more hour of "reality" you have a plan for yourself.

    My plan of action is in the form of a list of ten things I could do instead of sitting and watching television, which sucks you in like a vacuum. They include things like walking the dog, painting my nails, doing a load of laundry, reading a book, writing an email, putting in an exercise game on the Wii and going to town.

    My plan includes setting myself up for success by keeping foods that are temptresses where they belong, on the shelf in the grocery store and not in my cupboard.

    My plan includes setting small goals for myself and keeping a chart of the ones I achieve. Some small goals I like to give myself stickers for (yeah, I still get excited by the gold star system) are things like taking the stairs at work, eating fish at least three times a week, drinking water throughout the day and keeping myself down to one diet coke a day. Setting these small little goals and watching myself earn those stars can be very motivating!
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
    and the second:

    http://sarahsweightlossjourneyblog.blogspot.nl/2007/02/dirty-liarmouth.html

    Willpower: The dirty liarmouth.
    "I'm going to do it this time. I really am! I'm going to stick to it no matter what. I'm so sick of being overweight and I've had it! This is "it" for me!"

    I think we've all said something similar to ourselves at one time or another when we started the next "diet" we were going to try. I would wake up that Monday morning with so much adrenaline pumping in my veins that it almost hurt. I would be so positive, so confidant, so excited. I'd have willpower pouring out my ears. I'd even have a little extra spring in my step. "This is the first day of the rest of my life" I'd chirp as I ate my rice cake for breakfast and left for work.

    And it worked...for a little while. I would have the willpower to say no to the donuts that somebody brought for breakfast that day.

    "Nope, I'm on a diet. Thanks though" and the smile never left my face.

    I would have the willpower not to have a tall frozen yummy chocolate coffee drink with about 10,000 calories per serving (with extra whipped cream of course!).

    "No thanks! I'll have one bottle of water please." I'd sing to the pimple faced teen behind the counter.

    Willpower would allow me to say "no thanks" to the pizza everybody ordered for lunch as I munched away happily on my salad and carrot sticks.

    Willpower was all I needed to get through those tough and trying situations.

    And then something strange and unexpected happened...willpower stabbed me in the back quicker than I could say "double bacon cheeseburger, extra bacon, extra cheese, add mayo and hold any sort of vegetable you may lay on it."

    Willpower is the dirty little secret that nobody warns you about. If willpower were a person I'd call it a dirty liarmouth to its face. And if anything, people lie to you about it's abilities. It'll fool ya all right. Willpower sounds all great in the beginning. It makes you think you're prepared to face the real world. It builds you up, makes you feel ready, gives you a pep talk, a slap on the back and then shoves you out there in the world, naked and exposed, to only slam the door behind you and click the lock so all the world see you standing on your porch in your birthday suit. Then willpower watches from the window and giggles as you look for a leaf big enough to cover your 'bare' essentials.

    It's when you have that willpower, that super attitude that YOU CAN DO IT... that's when dieting or lifestyle changes are easy. Willpower makes it simple to embrace your life change and say "no" to the things you know aren't healthy for you. Easy Peasy.

    It's what happens after the willpower diminishes that you really need to prepare yourself for.

    We all know that feeling of empowerment that willpower brings fades out like a pair of stonewashed jeans (tight rolled of course, I am a child of the 80's after all). Sometimes it can last a few days... sometimes even a few weeks... but if you're relying on willpower to take you through to the end, to get you across that finish line... then you are going into battle armed with nothing but a Nerf ball and some duct tape, both of which are fun and handy to have around, but neither of which will help you much in your weight loss endeavors.

    I've had to mentally and physically prepare myself for when willpower packs it's stuff and gets the hell out. It still comes back every once and a while to make an appearance but I'm no fool. I know it will leave just as quickly as it came and right now there is no tree with leaves big enough to cover my "assets" out on that porch.

    So here's some things I've done to prepare myself for when willpower fails me.

    I don't keep "not the best choice of foods" in my house. Things like nutella, ice cream and baked goods, which are all my weaknesses, are best left at the store. If I must have nutella in the house, it's kept in the cupboard that I do not get into on a regular basis. I once had a box of chocolates here that I just knew I had willpower enough to say "no" to. After eating about 10 of them (in about as many minutes) and then crying to my husband that I ate 10 chocolates, he threw them in the trash. I've not (successfully) had a box of chocolates in the house since. I have recognized this and know it's a problem so I won't try to kid myself that I can do it. It's okay to be human and have faults.

    I plan ahead for situations that tend to make me overeat, like parties. I know what I am going to do when I walk in. I know where to focus my attention and I know where to try to position myself in regards to food.
    I have actually practiced dialogues to use when I'm in a "food pusher" situation to get me out of taking or eating food that I don't need or want. We all have Auntie Meanswell, who knows you love _____ (insert food you are now trying to eat only on special occasions) and insists you have the second and third helping. Having a plan ahead of time has spared me fumbling for the rights words or worse yet, conceding to their pushing to save hurt feelings. *tip* ask Auntie Meanswell if she can pack some up "to-go" after you've had your first, regular portion. This means saving her feelings from being hurt, and you have the choice, away from her, as to what to do with the extra food.

    When I don't have the right frame of mind and come to a bump in my road I look back through the book that got me on this path, Dr. Phil's "The Ultimate Weight Solutions", and re-read the passages that I've highlighted. I re-read the things I have written while at Novarum, the center where I went for help regarding my food and weight issues. I refocus my attention on those small things that worked for me in the beginning because, low and behold, they will work for me now. I find the things that have proven to work for me and make sure they are still part of my daily routine. I allow myself to take things one day at a time, not feel rushed to lose weight, and to be human and make mistakes. I don't need willpower for that...I can be powerless but still have a will.
    And I definitely have a will.
  • EmmaKarney
    EmmaKarney Posts: 690 Member
    There's no magic button you can press to get will power.

    In the end it comes down to what is the lesser of two evils - going without whatever the temptation is or dealing with the effect of continually giving into it?

    Not making smart eating and excising decisions caused me to gain weight which made me unhappy. So unhappy that I decided I was willing to sacrifice some lie ins, some deserts, some fried food and some alcohol to lose the weight.

    Sometimes temptation wins the battle but the thought of not getting the body I want is winning the war!
  • hazelovesfood
    hazelovesfood Posts: 454 Member
    I struggle with this a lot too. The last three weeks have gone really well for me, though. To answer your question, you find the will power from your though process. I've completely cut out sugar and flour. I thought I was going to die when I made that decision...like, literally, die! But then I decided to think about it differently. Instead of thinking, "I want that and I can't have it!" I now think, "I can have that if I wanted to, but I don't want it." then I think of all the reasons I don't want it. Two common reasons for me are: it will not taste as good as being proud of my choice will feel and getting healthy is more important to me than anything I would get from that delicious brownie! But the thing I go back to the most is this quote, "When we think of this process not as deprivation, but a positive act and an ongoing spiritual discipline, we begin to find freedom" I feel more freedom in my life when I don't think of it as deprivation but as a choice to create a more disciplined person.
    I think you make a very good point here, im am just the same as you all, but the past ten days have been good to me, would have been longer if i hadnt have had to be away from home for 2 days beginning of last week. Anyway , i feel like this too. I bought some cart dor icecream last night, coz im gonna have a spoon when i feel like it, Ive got chocolate in the cupboard and i will have a piece if i want it, i think this way, im still getting a little of what i like most , but just not hogging the whole bar down etc.
    Try it, its worked before for me, i do fall off wagon but im good at the mo, and enjoying the good foods i eating.
  • ThisGirl2013
    ThisGirl2013 Posts: 220 Member
    I fasted. A meal here or there. Eventually a day. It is helping me to realize that we eat to live, not live to eat.
    Also, bad carbs (like white bread) turn in to sugar. Keep telling yourself that sugar is poison or that sugar is fat..
    Helps me anyway.
  • Cyncham
    Cyncham Posts: 39
    This is a daily struggle with me. Ok, more like hourly, I should say. Like some others said, take it one day/hour at a time. Some days, I do really bad and give in & eat a candybar/Debbie cake/whatever but then, like yesterday, I did great. So I have to congratulate myself on that small victory of controlling my cravings. I don't think there is a magic potion to take away my appetite...if there was, I'd spend my entire tax refund on it! ;)
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
    within you grasshoppah
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Weighingin - those were fantastic pieces. Thank you so much for sharing those! Very sage advice.
  • Sweets1954
    Sweets1954 Posts: 507 Member
    Will power is not something you "find". It has to come from within. When you get those cravings for something sweet, try eating some fruit. Ask yourself, is this candy bar, soda, doughnut, whatever, WORTH the extra calories? If you are drinking diet soda STOP. Even though it is sweetened with artificial sweeteners, it encourages your craving for sweets. If it is the fizzy part of the soda that you like, try drinking sparkling water or soda with a little juice added for flavor. If you start really watching the calories in each item you eat you will find you can eat much larger quantities of fruits and veggies than that one cookie or brownie. It's a matter of retraining your mindset.
  • leilanieann
    leilanieann Posts: 5 Member
    "Motivation doesn't last, neither does bathing. That is why its recommended daily." What is your motivation today? :)
  • Actually everyone has this wrong?
    Most folks have an overabundence of WILL Power ( I WILL just have one more piece of chocolate!) what is missing is WON'T Power..
    Thats the one you have to stock up on - but seriously it is about giving your goals, both long term and short term some value or 'weight'. and then being able to match the shorter term goals with the longer ones.

    Its no god thinking I will lose 50 lb in a year and expecting to be able to match up not eating whatever is in front of you as the two arent siting close enough for comparison.
    However if losing 50lb in a year is broken into losing 1lb a week then it is easier to see that the extra chocolate / treat etc will likely ruin that weeks goal - just dont allow anything or anyone to ruin your own goals and aspirations!
  • cassiemk85
    cassiemk85 Posts: 20 Member
    The best advice I can really give you is that you have to find it within yourself. I have been struggling with weight for all of my twenties, and about 3 years ago my best friend managed to lose 120 lbs by using MFP. I knew everyone in our circle looked at me like 'She did it, when will you?" and so I began counting calories, working out, cutting out fatty, salty, foods (my weakness) etc. And while I would drop, 30 lbs here, etc., I always ended up giving up and going back to the way I was....I did this OVER AND OVER. Then all of a sudden, beginning of this February, I just realized I had had ENOUGH. I am so OVER being fat, lazy, in pain, tired, cant run around with my little girl, etc. And I just made a change, every week I change 1 thing about my lifestyle. Anyway, The whole point in me blabbing to you about my struggle is this: I had to come into this on my OWN. Its not that I didnt want it before, I always did, but I had to REALLY want it to make it STICK. Willpower comes to you when you are TRULY ready. You will know :) best of luck!!
  • cgarand
    cgarand Posts: 541 Member
    I think that if you have a plan then you have something to turn to when you are tempted to have something unhealthy for you. I basically eat 6 times a day. I have prepped all my veggies and they are in containers in the fridge so it's easy to make a salad or prepare my meals. I have some raw nuts to snack on when I'm hungry, or an apple. And, drink lots of H2O. Even then there are times I'm tempted to go off plan. Then I need a distraction. I will pick up the guitar, go for a walk, start to clean something, take a nap, etc. You are worth it! As you get more practice avoiding temptation it will become easier. Promise.
  • Dark_Roast
    Dark_Roast Posts: 17,689 Member
    If junk food isn't in my house, I won't leave the house to get some. I'm lazy like that. But, if there is anything yummy and I'm snacky... yea, I will probably eat it. I have learned to NOT BUY my favorite junk foods, and when friends bring crap (ie. brownies, chocolate cake, donuts) to my house I have learned that it doesn't hurt to THROW IT AWAY after they leave. I am in control of what I eat, not the other way around. I do however indulge occasionally, and that seems to help my cravings.
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
    Weighingin - those were fantastic pieces. Thank you so much for sharing those! Very sage advice.

    I'm always happy to share when I can! I'm glad they resonated with you and thanks!
  • Jamcnair
    Jamcnair Posts: 586 Member
    I actually was having this problem the past few weeks of counting but kept exercising regularly and logging my calories the best I could and then finally something clicked and the past week'ish I have been WANTING to eat better and have been staying around my correct cals! Do you have your settings at the correct amount to eat for your height/weight/age,etc?
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    Go to nerdfitness.com and search for the post on willpower.

    Quick breakdown...willpower is a finite resource, as in we only have so much at any given time and once you use it up your choices start to go downhill. Better option...focus on habits.


    Exactly, focus on habits and structure. Avoid situations in which you have to rely on raw willpower.
  • taylorwaylor
    taylorwaylor Posts: 417 Member
    Start by saying restricting yourself to only 1 treat a day.... and then like 5 treats a week, then 4 then 3. And yeaaah, you get the point.
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    Less about will power and more about planning. Plan ahead and work in eating things you love that are also healthy, and you'll find things a lot easier.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    When I find that I'm 'losing' my will power, I sit down and write a list of my goals. I look over them and write a new list of what I need to do to achieve them. That usually does it.
    Sometimes all it takes is a good look at myself naked, in the full length mirror. Cured!
    I also play a mind trick on myself. I tell myself that each time I deny myself something that isn't healthy, or excessive, whatever, I become stronger. I remember that, if I am tempted again and it helps some.
    We just have to want it bad enough, whether it's being healthier, leaner or stronger (or all of the above), if we want it bad enough, we will do it!