Sometimes I hate certain people......

Elokyn
Elokyn Posts: 448 Member
edited September 21 in Health and Weight Loss
I went to my doctor on Wed......let me just specify this is my OBGYN....I'm just going for a yearly. Well I get there and he does whatever and is asking me while he's in the room the first time if I've been getting any exercise and I said yes and he asked if I've been eating right and I said yes and that I've lost 11lbs.....so he leaves the room and comes back and give me a lecture about how I need to be losing atleast a pound a week and goes off on me about my weight.....SERIOUSLY?!?! I understand that! And it's fine if a doctor wants to ask about it but he already knew I was doing something about it AND I am getting results and he still insisted on pushing the issue!!! Implying that he didnt think I was really doing both things because I'd be losing more if I were.... THEN I had super important questions I needed to ask him about my personal stuff and he embarrased me and had shocked me so much by saying that that I had to leave so I could go cry........Why was that okay?? And I even filled out a sheet when I got there that had a list of problems I'm having on it and he didnt even ask me about my problems...he basically just called me a fat *kitten* slapped my self esteem to the ground and totally ignored the reason I went there.......>.< That was a level of discouragement that I could have lived without.
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Replies

  • pojo30
    pojo30 Posts: 62
    If you doctor makes you feel bad, you need to switch doctors. Don't let him get you down. You are seeing results and that is all that matters.
  • SassyMissDasha
    SassyMissDasha Posts: 614
    Omg that's awful!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I dreaded going to my obgyn while I was getting prenatal care, because he made me feel like crap about my weight. He had very bad distastefull bed side manner. It makes me so mad!
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    He's a *kitten*.
  • soulfire711
    soulfire711 Posts: 20
    What a jerk. I wouldn't go back! Good luck with your weight loss. Congrats on the 11lbs so far!! :-)
  • ShastaAngel
    ShastaAngel Posts: 61
    Wow... I am so sorry your doctor was such an insensitive creep to you. That just stinks! I think I would look into finding a new OB/GYN. Ask your girlfriends if they can recommend one to you.

    On another note... 11 pounds is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! Do not let one small minded person get you down. You are a warrior and you are beautiful!!!!!!!!

    :flowerforyou:
    Valerie
  • LoveMy4Kids
    LoveMy4Kids Posts: 231
    I agree you need to find someone else!
  • denisebehrman
    denisebehrman Posts: 4
    beauty comes from within. You love yourself, that's all that matters. Your Doctor was just being "a Doctor". You can change to a different Doctor, if you choose. Keep up the good work on your diet! You've lost 11 pounds!! That is GREAT!
  • melbhall
    melbhall Posts: 519
    Unbelievable! I can't believe he did that to you! I would NOT give him another cent of your money. Go find someone who will listen and take their time with you. 11lbs gone is amazing, don't for a second feel bad about what an awesome job you have done. He was probably just on his man period anyway! Feel better...
  • nicolina823
    nicolina823 Posts: 450 Member
    Awww you poor thing. I would have told him to stop talking about it and ask if he was an OB or a Nutritionist. Then brought up the problems. If he does that again to you, call him on it. That is overly rude! :mad:

    For what its worth you have been doing awesome and you have motivated others. :flowerforyou:

    Dont let him get you down. Call his office tomorrow and ask to speak to a nurse about your problems. They'll have to go through him to get answers. Maybe it will give him a virtual dope slap and he'll see that he made you uneasy. You can even tell the nurse you speak to that you were uncomfortable with how the whole thing went down and wanted to get answers through someone else.
  • AnneElise
    AnneElise Posts: 4,206 Member
    SWITCH doctors... and I would complain.
  • KristyO
    KristyO Posts: 126
    My gyno is like my therapist, it's such a personal relationship it HAS to be better than that. I demand you get a new doctor immediately and forget about this insensitive hack.
  • tdh302
    tdh302 Posts: 57 Member
    I felt so much empathy for you while reading your post. I think it is horrible that you experienced that when you're already in a vulnerable state (half naked in an examining room!). Definitely find another doctor ASAP so that you can get your questions answered. Doctors are no different than any other professional...there are good ones and not so good ones ( and some really awful ones) so you need to find the right one for you. You are doing an excellent job, by the way!! Keep up the great work toward a healthy you :)
  • vox779
    vox779 Posts: 7
    Maybe this is easier said than done depending on where you live and your insurance, but I had a similar experience and went to a different doctor who treated me with respect and encouragement for the lifestyle changes I've made. When I told him about my previous experience, he said the other doctor was clearly violating important medical principles by acting that way. Plus, in this day and age, there are so many OBGYN docs that are female and understand what it means to be female. If you can get a female OBGYN, you really should. Think about it... a male doc has absolutely no idea how you feel as a female. Just like I wouldn't see a female urologist. Not a question of sexism, it's just a question of relatability. She wouldn't have my hardware. He doesn't have yours. Good luck finding a better doc! They are out there!
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
    ((((hugs)))) I can unfortunately identify with that. :( I'm so sorry that you had to deal with an insensitive doctor. Congrats on the weight loss! Keep up the good work!
  • Callmefia
    Callmefia Posts: 42
    There are lots of places you can write reviews on Dr's. I would suggest you do such! Just google his name and all sorts of medical sites with info should show up where you can write a review.
    I might even go as far as writing a letter to the office to complain. Not only do you need to find a new Dr, he should also apologize to you.
  • July24Lioness
    July24Lioness Posts: 2,399 Member
    Find another doctor ASAP. I went through Dr after Dr after Dr until I found one that would listen when I lived in Virginia.

    I am kind of going through the same thing again.

    I had doctors tell me I was fat and give me a hand out with a 1000 calorie low fat diet and told me to exercise............Had others say I was making up my symptoms.

    By the time I was diagnosed properly I had:

    PCOS - hadn't had a period in over 2 years.............
    Diabetes
    Hypothyroidism
    Adrenal Fatigue
    Pituitary issues
    Hypothalmus issues
  • Elokyn
    Elokyn Posts: 448 Member
    Thanks so much to all of you for caring :) I did forget to say I'm definately not going back to him ever ever EVER again!!! I haven't decided how I'll approach saying something about it, or if I even will. But at the very least I'm not going back.
  • CreativeRedhead
    CreativeRedhead Posts: 2,166
    I see a female OB/GYN and she never insults me or does that crap! Find a lady one if you can. I feel much more at ease with her than I have with any male OB. :flowerforyou: That dr sounds like a class act jerk!
  • robbienjill
    robbienjill Posts: 456 Member
    Same thing happened to me last year when I went to the "lady doctor." I worked so hard and lost 25 lbs before I went back this year. She was sooooo proud. It seems a little harsh at first, but sometimes the truth needs to be heard, ya know?? This was def. the first time in my entire life when I could not wait to go back:laugh:
  • needamulligan
    needamulligan Posts: 558 Member
    There are lots of obgyns out there. I've switched docs for better bedside manner than that! Great job on your weight loss so far. Looks like your at about a pound a week. He knows better than anyone that these things take time. Pay no attention and stay on your path.
  • iguanaliz
    iguanaliz Posts: 95 Member
    Wow! That sucks. I have the same problem with my primary care doc. Even when I was in his weight loss clinic and lost 50 pounds, he blamed everything from sinus infections to a swollen leg from a car accident on my obesity (ahem "if you were not so overweight, the seatbelt would fit properly...except it was a head-on crash and the injury was to my leg from driving it up under the dashboard.) I have since come to realize that he's a misogynist because my horribly overweight hubby gets full blood panels and complete physicals with a pat on the head and a "keep doing what you're doing." Bah!

    Find a new OBGYN and keep doing what you're doing. It sucks finding a new doctor, but it's someone you are literally relying on to save your life. If you aren't comfortable naked and asking questions, then that's not the right doc for you.
  • Thinwithin2010
    Thinwithin2010 Posts: 166 Member
    FIND A DIFFERENT DOCTOR, I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WOULDN'T HAVE ANOTHER CHILD BECAUSE HER OBGYN WAS SO MEAN TO HER ABOUT HER WEIGHT AND SHE WAS EVEN AFRAID TO GO TO SOMEONE ELSE.. BUT THEY ARE NOT ALL BAD.. CONGRATS ON WHAT YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST!!!
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    Oh... I agree... you definitely need a new doctor. That was totally unprofessional... your weight loss has nothing to do with the reason you're there. That's bull****!

    I'm sorry you had to go through that hon... you will find a better doctor. :)
  • iguanaliz
    iguanaliz Posts: 95 Member
    I had doctors tell me I was fat and give me a hand out with a 1000 calorie low fat diet and told me to exercise............Had others say I was making up my symptoms.
    Sorry, but the quote thingy doesn't want to work on the iPhone. Anyway, this exactly what my doc did, except he didn't give me the diet plan. When I finally found a new doctor it turned out I was in early menopause and I did have a thyroid issue...and fibroids. Although it was my bad for letting a PC do my annuals for so many years.
  • iguanaliz
    iguanaliz Posts: 95 Member
    I had doctors tell me I was fat and give me a hand out with a 1000 calorie low fat diet and told me to exercise............Had others say I was making up my symptoms.
    Sorry, but the quote thingy doesn't want to work on the iPhone. Anyway, this exactly what my doc did, except he didn't give me the diet plan. When I finally found a new doctor it turned out I was in early menopause and I did have a thyroid issue...and fibroids. Although it was my bad for letting a PC do my annuals for so many years.
  • MzMolly
    MzMolly Posts: 169 Member
    I am so glad to hear you are not going to go back to that jerk. There are good doctors out there, find one that will support you and build you up, not knock you down. Keep up the great work, 11 pounds is wonderful.
  • July24Lioness
    July24Lioness Posts: 2,399 Member
    I had doctors tell me I was fat and give me a hand out with a 1000 calorie low fat diet and told me to exercise............Had others say I was making up my symptoms.
    Sorry, but the quote thingy doesn't want to work on the iPhone. Anyway, this exactly what my doc did, except he didn't give me the diet plan. When I finally found a new doctor it turned out I was in early menopause and I did have a thyroid issue...and fibroids. Although it was my bad for letting a PC do my annuals for so many years.

    This was a gynecologist I went to because I wasn't having periods. When he gave me the handout, he said, "If you weren't so fat, you would get periods."

    I went from 120 pounds up to 270 at my heaviest when I was finally diagnosed in 2003.

    I have a hard time having faith in Doctors. I am going through this now trying to get my PCP to prescribe me thyroid meds again. I am one of those people who's thyroid blood tests come back as "normal" but I have every symptom of hypothyroidism. I am on my 4th Doctor. I have the medical records that says the were treating according to symptoms, not the lab results, but these doctors around here just don't seem to get it.

    I moved away from my naturopathic doctor who had me straight last year and I lost weight fairly easy when taking the supplements he recommended. I haven't found one in this area as of yet.
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    oops
  • Tobi1013
    Tobi1013 Posts: 732 Member
    So sorry to hear you had such a bad experience with your Dr! I am sad to say that I, too, can relate...My old GYNO found new ways to tell me I was fat every year. The one that pissed me off the most was when he told me that "low dose birth control pills are less effective for women over a certain weight threshold." Shortly thereafter I moved and found a WONDERFUL female doctor who has been nothing but completely supportive.

    Best of luck in your search for a good doctor!!!!
  • NWgardener
    NWgardener Posts: 28
    He's a *kitten*.
    I couldn't agree more! A *kitten* indeed. Life is short--no need to put up with that kind of BS. Can the doc!
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