Starting my FIRST diet and being honest with myself

Hello everyone,

I hope everyone is doing well.

I actually started my weight loss journey sometime in mid-January after years of denial of how I look and what is my personal best. To date, I have lost about 6kg (approx. 13lbs) and I still have a about 19kg (approx. 42lbs) until I hit my target weight in September. I joined MFP this week because I needed to regain the momentum of my weight loss journey.

So where do I start?

I am 27 and it is time for me to be honest with myself and embark on my FIRST diet ever. I have always been active, physically fit and flexible. I have no problem swimming 80 laps in a local 50m pool on the weekends. So much so, I have been asked many times what I am training for. Most of the time I would respond with "oh... a big fat slice of (a flavour that I fancied at that time) CAKE" or "a huge dinner".

Therein lies my biggest problem. I LOVE FOOD. For years, I have used my fitness as a 'fat-dam', thinking that I can work off my naughty nibbles (when I say nibbles, I mean large mouthfuls!) with an extra hour on the treadmill, body combat, or what have you. Sweet or savoury, rich or light, it doesn't matter. They say that the human tongue can taste this extra flavor on top of sweet, sour, salty and bitter, this new flavour was called 'umami'. Otherwise known as 'delicious'. I have spent an entire lifetime in search of morsels which would set my senses off on a blissful dance around 'umami'.

Let me clarify this once and for all. I am not a gourmand. I just love the whole act of eating and the joy it brings from within. My mother would always say that I would eat myself into debt if I don't control my appetite. I haven't done that yet but as I grow older and my metabolism is not what it once was, in October 2012, while I was doing the Insanity Plyometrics workout, I slipped, landed wrongly and killed my knee. I had stopped working out since then and didn't start again until January 2013. This time, I need to go easy on the hi-intensity workouts as my knee is still recuperating.

Many people see me as a big bubbly girl with lots of energy and a complete go-getter, which isn't completely untrue. However, underneath it all, I have never been happy with my body. At 173cm (5'8") and 89kg (195lbs) at my heaviest, I have fluctuated between 80 - 85kg (176 - 187lbs) over the last 5 years. As I am growing older, I refuse to get wider. The honest reasons are as such;

1) My knees won't permit it. After years of working out, all this weight have to go or I will need a cane to walk by the time I am 35 years old! I enjoy being active as much as I enjoy eating. It is not in my nature to compromise between one or the other. If I have to re-learn my attitude towards food so I can make the most out of my life, then so be it. I'm not completely happy about it but I'll give it a go!

2) Being a heavier set but active woman has its perks. Although I have quite a high body fat percentage, my fats have decided to locate themselves in a way that makes me look 'curvy' rather than 'rotund'. Alas, I doubt this will stay true forever if I continue wolfing down upwards of 3000kcals a day. More so now as I have to take it easier on my fitness for the sake of my knees.

3) I am a vain, vain, VAIN person. Since being a teenager, I have always wanted to wear a two-piece bathing suit. In fact, I have bought a few in my day..... I just never had the confidence to wear it out in public. I want to be able to wear a bikini confidently by the time I turn 28 (being able to turn heads would be a bonus ...lol). If I am granted the luxury of growing old one day, I want to be able to reflect and say, I did everything I wanted to do in this life. Even the little things.

Ultimately, my decision to start my FIRST diet is because I am at a point of my life where I try not to take things that I have for granted anymore. I don't want to grow older wondering why I missed out on so many things because 'I just couldn't be bothered'.

So here goes, my starting measurements as of Jan 2013;

HEIGHT : 173cm / 5'8"
WEIGHT : 89kg / 195lbs
BUST : 42"
WAIST : 33"
HIPS : 42.5"

My measurements now

WEIGHT : 84kg / 184lbs
(I haven't had the guts or confidence to measure my body just yet.... sorry)

..... and I hope to be 60 - 65kg by my birthday this year. Lets see how this goes.

If you read this post until here. I thank you so much for your attention. Have a wonderful day!