Have you noticed this? Or is it just me?

There have always been kids, boys and girls alike, that are nonathletic and do not enjoy physical activity. When girls hit puberty they gain weight and begin getting curves. Sometimes it is difficult for young girls to gain this weight and some of them resort to dieting. I don't think there is anything new about any of it.

We live in Tennessee and at least in Middle School our students only have PE 2 quarters out of the school year. I find this to be somewhat frustrating especially in the cooler/wetter months. It is hard enough to get our tween girls active, much less during these months. At least in the summer I can get her in the pool, and in the spring, summer and fall she will go out and ride her bike. We have tried doing family activities with her, but she will claim boredom or some other excuse and stop playing with us. Our daughter is more interested in music than sports. Any suggestions on other options to keep them active.

When I was a kid, I was active. I played sports, I was outside all the time. I rode my bike all over my town. When I got into middle school, that all changed. It wasn't cool to be flushed and sweaty from physical exertion. You didn't ride your bike anymore - you sat around and watched tv, talked on the phone, listened to music. The only exercise I got was walking through the mall. And if you tried too hard in PE class, everyone would make fun of you. The only girls who were allowed to be physical were the "sporty" girls. And although they were near the top of the social food chain, they weren't at the top, so it wasn't something you aspired to.

Unfortunately, my mom's generation didn't think physical exercise was important (especially for girls). Couple that with the fact that my parents worked manual labor factory jobs which kept them in good shape and my lifestyle was a recipe for physical disaster. I deeply regret not taking physical activity and exercise seriously and part of my drive to be fit now is to show my daughter how important it is! I want her to be a beast - the girl that can run fast, take a hard hit, dive for the ball without thinking twice. I want her to be confident in her body and her strength.

I think it's sad when parents accept that their kids are overweight and/or don't think they can do anything about it. Of course it starts young, but even when they are teenagers, there are ways to make sure they take care of themselves.

I might get flamed for this but I think there is so much more pressure on girls to fit a certain body profile than boys. I was a super sporty teenager and I had a great body (I only realise this now). However I was never tiny or skinny. So despite the fact that I competed at a state level in swimming and water polo and did other rep level sport like basketball, netball, softball - I was still called fat, constantly... It just got to a point where I gave it all up, where sport and weight and body became so inextricably linked that I wanted nothing to do with any of it...

I think we have a huge problem with setting realistic and healthy body image goals for teenage girls. While I grant that there is an issue with obesity, the answer is not to tell 99% of girls that they're 'wrong' and the only way to be ok is to be incredibly skinny.

Couple thoughts

1) newly growing breasts can sometimes hurt! More so if you've never needed a bra before and now you need a serious sports bra and you don't have one. And the boys in your class notice the breasts. And how they move when you move. And ay things. And worse, sometimes grown men notice, and say things, and get creepy about it. And young teens don't have the skills to figure out how to deal with pervy adults who are staring at their brand new breasts as they run, and its can be really creepy and uncomfortable.

2). I've asked this of other women. In exercise videos and movies and TV, women exercising get dewy and glowy. No one goes red in the face and pours sweat from their hairline. Yet in real life, lots of people turn bright red and sweat like horses. And doing it gets you mocked by the golden dewy glowing girls.

3) the absolutely normal change in body fat percentage at puberty can be disconcerting and upsetting. Parts get softer an jiggly. It's a huge change, even if you're at a healthy body weight and have good muscle development.

When I was in middle school I was very active in PE and sports. Then when I had to change to a high school, I just stopped all my extra curriculars. I was still active outside of school, was always outside, roller skating, walking, playing basketball with my younger brother etc. Not sure why I chose to not play in high school. There was no reason, as I wasn't the typical talk on the phone all night teenager. I would take my radio outside and dance for hours and stayed in shape til I had my first baby when I was 20. I just didn't have the interest in sports anymore. In my middle school, it was just the thing to do. I did it cuz everyone else did, I enjoyed it but it wasn't just for me I guess.

Teenage girls are evil to other teenage girls.


I remember my days in the school gym with horror. Getting changed in an atmosphere where a mark on your neck from a heavy bag would result in screams of OH MY GOD YOU'RE NOT A VIRGIN LOOK LOOK LOOK. Wearing a bra with a bit of lace on meant you were easy. Wearing a bra with a bit of colour on it meant you were easy. Wearing a black bra or even being rumoured to have ever worn a black bra meant you were a prostitute. Body hair was terrible, but many parents refused to allow shaving or waxing. Sports bras just weren't normal, they meant you were trying to be some sort of athlete. Contacts were being flashy. Teams were picked on the grounds of who they liked, not who could play. Boys trying to look through the keyhole. Cramps, accidents with sanitary towels, everybody knowing if you had your period and telling the boys about it. And embellishing the story. Scared to look across the room lest somebody said 'what are you looking at b*****, are you some sort of lesbian?', accusations of being a lesbian if you did something the teacher said. Not having any core strength or muscular development but being expected to do circuits at 100% intensity. Teachers telling you to do fast neck rolls when you knew they would screw up your cervical vertebrae. Lectures from staff telling everybody to use tampons. Foot inspections to see if everybody was clean.

And my particular favourites: you're not allowed to wear glasses as it would be dangerous (when throwing the javelin). Like chucking a big pointy stick around isn't when you can't even see where you're going. And 'only old people have arthritis because they're fat and old. There's no such thing in kids'.


Basically, sports teachers were Jillian Michaels but without the tact, diplomacy or technical knowledge.



Oh, and those Olympic athletes? Most females knew that they fitted in the category of having been the girls who did the majority of the bullying when they were girls. Because the girls that were meanest were the ones good at sport. So the ads are basically 'look how fantastic your school bully is going to look. That's why they pick on you and call you fat and ugly'.

Active in PE is different than active in organized sports, which is different than active outside.

There is peer pressure not to be overly involved in PE. The mile "run" is a casual stroll.

I agree with this 100%. Back in middle school and high school I had no interested in PE at school. My friends and I saw it as a time to goof off and not be in the classroom. However, outside of school (5 nights a week) I was a very active soccer player and cheerleader.

I'm the mother of a tween. I try to encourage her to exercise and set a good example by being active myself. She's not particularly interested in sports and is more of a bookworm so we concentrate on things that she finds fun and try to incorporate incidental exercise where possible.