Do children feel hunger the same as adults?
shining_light
Posts: 384 Member
in Chit-Chat
This is a question that's come up in my mind when cooking for my stepson. If he says he's full, I don't want to override that and make him eat more(he's 4 years old next week, by the way). I know by now that it's rarely true, however. He just doesn't want to eat. I know his dad and I, if we get hungry, our stomachs are usually screaming and crying and throwing tantrums. I deal with hunger much better than he does, but he needs 3200 calories a day to maintain his weight, while I require half that. I digress.
So, how do I make sure my stepson is eating enough? I would resort to weighing his food out, if that's what you suggest. I just hate how easily his dad gives in sometimes and gives him cereal or yogurt instead of eating what the family eats. He's getting much better with this. Our technique now is for his dad to finish eating, and if he's not done eating by the time dad gets up and leaves the table to go eat something else, that's fine, but it'll get incredibly boring if he has to sit there and finish his plate while his dad and I go do other things. This seems to be working, and we don't demand he eat a lot of what we eat. I think it's fairly reasonable.
Still, it's frustrating to make sure he eats enough healthy food. Do any parents have good guidelines for 1) knowing when your kid is actually hungry and not just bored, or is hungry but just doesn't want to eat, and 2) knowing what portions to give them? I'm getting tired of doing this by trial and error. I weigh out the adult food portions in our house and log them by weight, always. Is this a good method for him as well, or does it make more sense to just eyeball it? What do you do?
So, how do I make sure my stepson is eating enough? I would resort to weighing his food out, if that's what you suggest. I just hate how easily his dad gives in sometimes and gives him cereal or yogurt instead of eating what the family eats. He's getting much better with this. Our technique now is for his dad to finish eating, and if he's not done eating by the time dad gets up and leaves the table to go eat something else, that's fine, but it'll get incredibly boring if he has to sit there and finish his plate while his dad and I go do other things. This seems to be working, and we don't demand he eat a lot of what we eat. I think it's fairly reasonable.
Still, it's frustrating to make sure he eats enough healthy food. Do any parents have good guidelines for 1) knowing when your kid is actually hungry and not just bored, or is hungry but just doesn't want to eat, and 2) knowing what portions to give them? I'm getting tired of doing this by trial and error. I weigh out the adult food portions in our house and log them by weight, always. Is this a good method for him as well, or does it make more sense to just eyeball it? What do you do?
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Replies
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3,200 calories per day for an almost 4 year old? Where did you get that from?
Either way....
"The Division of Responsibility For Toddlers through Adolescents:
The parent is responsible for what, when, where
The child is responsible for how much and whether"
http://www.ellynsatter.com/ellyn-satters-division-of-responsibility-in-feeding-i-80.html
Unless he's dropping on his growth curve or doesn't have enough energy, he's probably eating enough.0 -
if my kids dont finish dinner I make them sleep outside. Problem solved.0
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if my kids dont finish dinner I make them sleep outside. Problem solved.
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I deal with hunger much better than he does, but he needs 3200 calories a day to maintain his weight, while I require half that. I digress.
Where did you come up with this number? This must be a typo right? No 3 year old needs this many calories a day.0 -
3,200 calories per day for an almost 4 year old? Where did you get that from?
Either way....
"The Division of Responsibility For Toddlers through Adolescents:
The parent is responsible for what, when, where
The child is responsible for how much and whether"
http://www.ellynsatter.com/ellyn-satters-division-of-responsibility-in-feeding-i-80.html
Unless he's dropping on his growth curve or doesn't have enough energy, he's probably eating enough.
I think she was referring to her husband, not her stepson
Kids eat when they are hungry. and believe me, when they get hungry they can eat. I found with my 3 year old, if I limit his snacks during the day, he eats bigger meals. and he will finish.0 -
With my kids i explain you can eat dinner or go hungry.0
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3,200 calories per day for an almost 4 year old? Where did you get that from?
I think OP meant 3,200 calories per day for the Dad not the 4 year old.0 -
3,200 calories per day for an almost 4 year old? Where did you get that from?
This is the amount his DAD needs to eat, not him!
Anyway, kids won't starve themselves. Don't read too much in to it. Kids eat in spurts. They eat for fuel for the most part, so I would let him be. As long as he is eating healthy.
According to this: http://www.livestrong.com/article/256927-how-many-calories-should-a-child-be-eating/
1200-1600 calories0 -
They have little tiny tummies that fill up and empty out quickly. I would give him a small portion to complete at the table. Then, either set a little more aside for later on when he cries about being hungry, or be ok with a healthy snack before bed a couple hours later instead.0
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My son is almost nine. He goes through cycles of eating everything in sight, and not eating more than two bites, depending on his current growth rate. I NEVER make different food for him, EVER! He can eat what is cooked, or not, but I'm not a paid servant. If he only eats a bite or two, I tell him that's it for the night, and stick to it. If he eats everything, and comes back later telling me he's hungry, I let him have something more. I don't measure his food at all. I serve relatively healthy food, but I'm not vegan or organic or anything like that. Just normal food. He's really good about trying a bite of something, and if he truly doesn't like it, I don't make him eat more. But he's not picky, and rarely do I serve something he absolutely doesn't like.0
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3,200 calories per day for an almost 4 year old? Where did you get that from?
This is the amount his DAD needs to eat, not him!
Anyway, kids won't starve themselves. Don't read too much in to it. Kids eat in spurts. They eat for fuel for the most part, so I would let him be. As long as he is eating healthy.
yes, and they eat a ton during growth spurts. I would not worry too much, like poster said, kids will not starve themselves.0 -
Kids eat when they are hungry. as long as he IS EATING through out the day, I wouldnt fret much on it. I Have a four year old son and he doesnt eat that much. He doesnt thoroughly enjoy big meals, which is a good thing. their tummy's at that age are only as small as their fists (balled up) so as long as your step son is eating, he'll be fine. He'll want more as he grows older. My son eats like a bird, he prefers to pick or graze on foods as he goes. But i know in due time, he's going to be eating so much i'll wish times were like they are now!
btw, your man can eat 3200 cal a day? must be nice! I want that metabolism!0 -
This isn't about feeling hunger, it's about food preference at this age. They're not going to eat like adults, no. The best you can do is put the healthy foods in front of him and eventually, maybe in a few years, he'll start eating what the family does.
Just be careful with what is given to him when you and your husband do give in. Yogurt and cereal aren't going to harm him. They're full of nutrients, calcium and iron being the major 2 in these foods. Do the best you can and worry about it when he's older. if the foods are consistently offered and he attempts to eat them, eventually it will stick.0 -
A 4 year old will not starve themself.
The only rule in my house regarding food is "you have to try 1 bite". After that, if they eat great, if not *shrug* Force feeding them will not end well.
(They also know I'm not going to make them something else just because they don't want what I'm offering)0 -
This. My child will generally only take a couple bites of his food at dinner time, proclaim, "ALL DONE!" and excuse himself from the table. We'll leave his plate on the table, though, as he almost *always* come back to finish his dinner within the hour.3,200 calories per day for an almost 4 year old? Where did you get that from?
This is the amount his DAD needs to eat, not him!
Anyway, kids won't starve themselves. Don't read too much in to it. Kids eat in spurts. They eat for fuel for the most part, so I would let him be. As long as he is eating healthy.
He simply eats on a different timeline from my husband and me. No big deal.
Also, keep in mind children have a lot more taste buds than adults (our taste buds die off as we age, which explains why we might have hated certain foods as a child, but loved them as adults), so if he doesn't like the way something tastes, there's no reason to force it.
My son has days where he only wants cereal all day. I can either fight him and try to force feed him something more nutritious, or I can give in, knowing that the next day, he'll want nothing but chicken and veggies, and realize I have bigger battles to fight. Children often cycle what they like to eat. As long as your stepson is getting the nutrients he needs on a weekly basis, it all evens out. I wouldn't worry too much about it.0 -
Is he losing weight? Has he dropped below the healthy weight level for his age as determined by his pediatrician?
If not, don't worry about how much he's eating. Kids eat when they're hungry. Just make sure you have plenty of healthy food available for them. Even our 2 1/2 year old is allowed to raid the fridge for grapes, apples, cheese sticks, pudding, chicken legs, and things like that.0 -
I have two children 6 and 3 and sometimes they will tell me they are full when they are not because they are anxious to get away from the table and play or they've decided that they are done eating what is on their plate and hope by saying they are full they can move on to dessert (which for us, is fruit unless it is a special occasion like a birthday or holiday).
When this happens this is what I do:
Tell them if they are full then that is fine and they can be done with dinner. They will not have dessert (fruit) unless they have finished their dinner. I explain that if they decide they are hungry again in 20 minutes or an hour they will not be allowed to eat anything different than what they are eating right now.
Now, sometimes they will ask "but can I have grapefruit?" I will tell them not until they've eaten XX amount from their plate. I rarely make them "clean" their plate just want to make sure they are really eating enought to be full. Mostly they will just buckle down and eat the XX that I've required and move on to either playing or the grapefruit - whichever is the draw taking them away from dinner.
On occasion they will say they don't want the grapefruit and are really done eating. At that point I let them get up from the table with the warning that if they come back and tell me they are hungry they will, at that point, have to finish their dinner. And they do come back sometimes. It's actually a bit of a pain to get their dinner back out for them rather than just hand them a banana or a piece of cheese but since I made the rule to be they have to finish their dinner, that is what I give them.
Both you and your husband would need to agree on this approach and stay strict about it or it wouldn't work.
Good luck to you!0 -
My niece was a black hole. Even really young she would do cereal, baby food peas, peaches, and carrots, and a bottle. In one meal.
She turns five in june-now its like one spoon of veggies and half a chicken breast and shes done.
She eats when shes hungry and will flip out over eating past full. Keep healthy snacks on hand-kiddos eat when they are ready to eat.0 -
You are step-mom. What about mom?
Does he spend time with both parents going back and forth between the two homes?
What does mom feed him?
Does she make him finish all his food?
It can be incredibly difficult for a child when he is living with two different sets of expectations.
I would make healthy, kid-friendly meals (carrots or corn not brussel sprouts etc.)
Give him a tablespoon-full portion of each type of food.
If he finishes one of the foods but not the rest he may not get more of the "liked" food until he finishes the rest.
He needs to try everything at least once before he can say he doesn't like it.
If he doesn't finish, then no dessert and no snack before the next meal.
He'll figure out when he's hungry and eat more the next meal.
Don't make meal time a battle.
Keep it low keyed so it doesn't become a power struggle.
Hope this helps.
We've had our share of custody schedules and picky eating issues.
Our kids are 9, 16, 18 & 21.0 -
A 4 year old will not starve themself.
The only rule in my house regarding food is "you have to try 1 bite". After that, if they eat great, if not *shrug* Force feeding them will not end well.
(They also know I'm not going to make them something else just because they don't want what I'm offering)
You are awesome!:flowerforyou:0 -
YES.
At any age children can feel fullness. There bodies know when they've had to much (Even babies, pushing away bottles). If there body is full don't make them eat more.
BUT to make sure its not just being stubborn/picky, let them know when the next time they will eat is (lunch time/snack time, what ever you do)
If they want food between that, say "sorry, we told you that you need to wait until ____" (Unless of corse they did eat all the food, then they are most likely hungry)
If you are consistent with this, they will learn to eat until they are not hungry, but not too much or too little.0 -
I have a 6 year old and a 4 year old.
The rule of thumb at our table for dinner time, because that has always been the toughest meal to get them interested in eating, is that they have to have the same number of bites of each dish that equals to their age (so, 6 and 4). Our son is easily influenced by his big sister, who is picky about anything with lots of flavour. We simply say that while they do not have to love it, or even like it, this is what we are having for supper and they need to eat a healthy variety of foods. Most of the time it is the appearance that they don't like, so I will sometimes arrange their food to be more kid appealing to entice them to taste it before judging.
Having said that, each of our children have one or two foods that they simply do not tolerate - and I don't force the issue with those when we eat them...they simply have more of something else.
My kids tend to take in most of their food during the day, and are not big supper eaters. If we have had an extra busy night with swimming/soccer/gymnastics or other activities, and they ate their servings of supper and are asking for a snack, I will offer them yogurt, cheese, or fruit as a snack.0 -
This. My child will generally only take a couple bites of his food at dinner time, proclaim, "ALL DONE!" and excuse himself from the table. We'll leave his plate on the table, though, as he almost *always* come back to finish his dinner within the hour.3,200 calories per day for an almost 4 year old? Where did you get that from?
This is the amount his DAD needs to eat, not him!
Anyway, kids won't starve themselves. Don't read too much in to it. Kids eat in spurts. They eat for fuel for the most part, so I would let him be. As long as he is eating healthy.
He simply eats on a different timeline from my husband and me. No big deal.
Also, keep in mind children have a lot more taste buds than adults (our taste buds die off as we age, which explains why we might have hated certain foods as a child, but loved them as adults), so if he doesn't like the way something tastes, there's no reason to force it.
My son has days where he only wants cereal all day. I can either fight him and try to force feed him something more nutritious, or I can give in, knowing that the next day, he'll want nothing but chicken and veggies, and realize I have bigger battles to fight. Children often cycle what they like to eat. As long as your stepson is getting the nutrients he needs on a weekly basis, it all evens out. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
i didn't know that. interesting... i do know that we all experience tastes differently. the reason why some people like the taste of something, while others cannot stand it is because we are perceiving different tastes as individuals. we each have our own combination of active and inactive taste-related genes in our DNA that determine how we perceive the things we taste. in other words, it's probably very rare to find 2 people who experience the exact same tastes the exact same way.
http://bodyodd.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/24/13461833-why-do-so-many-of-us-hate-black-licorice-a-few-theories?lite0 -
Hi. My 8 year old son doesn't eat very much and has always been on the bottom of the growth curve. It turns out that there was a medical reason for that - he was diagnosed with something called Eosinophilic Esophagitis. His body thinks he is allergic to some foods and it causes his esophagus to become irritated and inflammed. When he had his first endoscopy, he had some furrowing and scars. Which makes it difficult for him to eat - then he just doesn't want to eat. Some kids with EE aren't able to eat at all and get all of their nutrition from a liquid diet. There's not a cure yet. My son didn't "look" any different, other than he was really picky about food and was on the skinny side. He still doesn't "look" any different but we've had to eliminate over twenty foods from his diet to keep him healthy. It makes cooking challenging but at this point, I'm just thankful that he's not tube fed. If you're interested in the symptoms, check out www.apfed.org. If you're curious about how much your stepson should be eating, ask the pediatrician. Good luck!0
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Children will eat when they are hungry. Just give him smaller portions. My option as a child was a peanut butter sandwich and fruit if i didnt want was being served. That was something healthy and did not require my mother to cook another meal. I will follow that when I have children.0
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My kid eat when they need to eat., and doctor always tells me they are fine for their height and wieght, so I don't worry about it.0
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I never make my kids eat if they don't want to.
As a child, my parents made me stay at the table until I finished all of my food. I often fell asleep there. I believe that this played a part in me being overweight. When we make kids eat when they are full, it teaches them to ignore what their bodies are telling them and they learn to consistantly over eat. Kids will eat when they are hungry, they will not starve themselves.0 -
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All a bunch of awsome answers.
The truth is, there is no "right" answer.
The kid is going to eat when he is hungry.
Sure, put a big mac in front of him and he might suddenly become hungry but, eating healthy is a wonderful alternitive.
As others have mentioned, he is not going to go hungry or even have some kind of a negetive reaction to not eating dinner.
He will simply make up for it at breakfast,.
I have an 11 year old and a 6 year old and both of them are used to eating healthy.
As others have mentioned, it is not like the kids are forced to eat granola and grass but, they are very good about making their own healthy choices.
They will still tear up some cookies and cake.0 -
I serve food to my kids, if they eat it and ask for more, I give them more. I offer them fruit or yogurt as dessert. If they don't eat all their food, they can either a) give it to someone else in the family or b) put it in the fridge for later. If they give food to someone else, they have to kiss it goodbye (I got this idea from a child psychologist on the TV, as apparently the act of kissing the food makes it easier for the child to go from kissing to tasting to putting the food in their mouth). If they refuse to eat very much, they don't get more food until the next meal, unless they eat their food that's in the fridge from the meal they refused to eat (this is for foods that they normally eat, foods they actually don't like they can kiss goodbye, one of my girls does this with sprouts, the other with sprouts and onions, most foods they eat and most leftovers go in the fridge. Fridge leftovers are eaten before snacks are given out).
I don't think it's right to force kids to eat food they don't like, it doesn't help them to like it, if anything it puts them off the food even more and makes mealtimes stressful and anxiety inducing... mealtimes should be relaxed and fun, and family time. No-one wants to eat when they feel stressed and anxious, and it's easy to eat when you feel happy and relaxed, and it's easy for kids to learn to like new foods by copying. Mostly my kids like new foods if they see me eating them and enjoying them. The stuff they say they don't like, I think they really don't like the taste of. yes I still make them kiss those foods goodbye before they give them to someone else to eat. (btw this is not just a ploy for me to get to eat more brussels sprouts....)0
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