What do you do when...

ashcky
ashcky Posts: 393 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Your boyfriend doesn't want you to lose weight. I really need to lose weight and I really want to but it's hard to stay motivated when he doesn't think I need to lose any. Could really use some help on this.

Replies

  • ForABetterMe89
    ForABetterMe89 Posts: 196
    You tell him this is for you and tell.him its what you feel best.
  • soehlerking
    soehlerking Posts: 589 Member
    Assuming you actually do have weight to lose (and it's not a danger to your health), that sort of hesitation from a SO is usually based in insecurity. His fear of you changing, his fear of your relationship changing b/c you eat differently and exercise more, or just his own insecurity about his own body. Just do your thing; he'll love you enough to stick around. I have yet to hear about a good man dumping a woman because she's taking care of herself.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
    dump him and come to the darkside
  • ChloeRoseLejeune
    ChloeRoseLejeune Posts: 488
    dump him and come to the darkside

    :devil:
  • theskinnylist
    theskinnylist Posts: 286 Member
    How does he say he doesn't want you to lose weight? Jokingly or seriously?

    At any rate, you choosing to better your health and lose weight is for you, not for him. So if he is serious, I'd get rid of him.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    Each person has his/her own preference when it comes to body type. He may like more padding than you consider ideal. I remember a coworker who decided to diet. Her husband told her that his ideal woman was like a big, fluffy, warm pillow, and that was why he married her.

    My husband doesn't think I need to lose weight, but that's because he sees me as much more than a body, plus he thinks it's natural and to be expected that you're going to get fatter as you get older. Therefore, he doesn't really support me, but he doesn't discourage me, either.

    I have no idea why your boyfriend says the things that he says, of course. Hopefully you can figure it out and work with it.
  • mikegl1
    mikegl1 Posts: 238 Member
    Do what YOU want not what he wants you to do. Getting fit is not a problem don't let him make it one.
  • BarackMeLikeAHurricane
    BarackMeLikeAHurricane Posts: 3,400 Member
    My boyfriend does not control my food intake. I make my own food and eat the amount I chose to eat. He really can't do anything about it except try to convince me to eat more.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Get a less controlling boyfriend.
  • guzzlingil
    guzzlingil Posts: 60
    tell him to support you or he can leave...
  • 55sc
    55sc Posts: 46 Member
    Are you close to a healthy weight? Maybe he is concerned about you being under weight or having an eating disorder.

    If this doesn't apply, tell him that you are not within a healthy weight range and need to lose for your health. If necessary, show him height/weight tables.

    If all else fails, you may need to put some space between you.
  • ashcky
    ashcky Posts: 393 Member
    I am not at a healthy weight. I need to lose at least 50 pounds. He likes my extra padding yes and I do think it is an insecurity thing. He thinks people will look at me more I guess.
  • jessmart83
    jessmart83 Posts: 283 Member
    My bf always tells me I don't need to lose anything. But, as long as it is making me happy and doing it for myself, he is very supportive. If he wasnt supportive, he knows where the door is.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    That's a lose-lose situation for a guy. If he agrees he's calling you fat. If he doesn't he's not supportive.

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