Need help!

First....I'm just so sorry. I haven't been in your shoes, but I've felt similarly at times. You're just rolling along doing well and then...everything is out of control. Actually, that's why I started MFP. And i share a back problem, though probably not the same one, so I understand the feeling of wanting to exercise and the back saying, "Oh, am I going to punish you for this."

I can't see your diary in order to offer any suggestions, but I just wonder whether you're being too hard on yourself right now, demanding too much of yourself. I've seen some people on this site take exercise breaks, really lighten it up on exercise for a little while, and the body responds. Of course I wouldn't recommend undoing your great work so far by giving in to cravings, but is there anything you could treat yourself with that would be healthy but also feel like you got a little pampered, a little bit of what you need?

Regarding the sleep and stress--and actually the pains--I highly recommend either yoga or meditation classes or both. As long as you go to a gentle yoga class, not something where you're twisting yourself in pretzels, it can be wonderfully relaxing and stop a lot of pain. In fact,I stopped getting massages because I found my yoga classes relaxed me a lot more and for longer. There are plenty of meditation videos on youtube that could guide you through. You might check out the "sa ta na ma" meditation. It's only 12 minutes, the chanting kind of helps you stay focused, and I've found it deeply relaxing. If you want any more specific info about which youtube videos etc., feel free to message me or friend me.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I feel that way a lot and have found that I need to make sure I get enough fat, protein and salt. THe spasms and soreness could be that you need more sodium. Or maybe you are overexercising? I know that I needed to slow down on exercise, I was drained and had no idea because I drank enough espresso to mask the fatigue. Coffee was another thing that had to go. Still drink plenty of tea but just something about the coffee was very depleting. Anyway, I have only ever seen someone once and I was a total mess. Often wish I had gone sooner. Try a holistic practitioner. That way they will look at your diet and lifestyle before they try to pump you with uppers or blame your childhood or something.

Yes, I agree with the above replies... Go see a doctor, I was the same way about 6 weeks ago and really cracked.. I was put on anti depressants.. Good luck.. It does get better.