Depression

Hi,

My name is Kylie. I am 28. I am about 60kgs (at least) overweight.

I suffer from depression and anxiety. I am currently unemployed. I don't just have trouble eating right and exercising, I have trouble most days just getting out of bed. I have basically no motivation.

Have any of you ever been in this situation? I don't know how to get past this. I am in such a bad place right now and it is ruining my life and my marriage.

I am on anti depressants, I have been for the past 15 or so years. I haven't found one yet that works. I do see my doctor regularly.

I don't have many friends. I guess I just need to know things will get better.

I am just so sick of fighting my weight battle and depression. I am tired. I have done this for like 15 years and it sux, I need the light at the end of the tunnel.

Hey dear!! Please don't give up! This is not a diet that is supposed to make your life miserable, you're doing this so that you can be healthy and fit and happy!!

Your situation seems to require professional help, like a therapist maybe? I have been on anti-depressants and anxiety meds and I find that they don't help much.. I think it'd be best if you had someone to talk to? If it is too costly then you could seek out family member or friend whom you feel comfortable to talk to? Else if you really cannot open up to anyone, write down your feelings. Identify your reasons for depression and anxiety whenever you feel it. Is it affecting your eating and exercising? Or is the cause just your weight?

I have depression and anxiety problems too so I understand how crippling it feels, I am also battling binging, overeating, anorexia, bulimia, and self-hate. There is no one that I hate more than myself. But I realised really, if I am not ending my life (and I came close a couple of times, but my grandma and dad is what keeps me from doing that because if I die I'm free but they will be sad for as long as they live), then I'd better make the best out of it!!! I have also been at the stage where I couldn't get myself to move an inch and felt like it is the end of me....
Yes there are people who do not have weight problems so it might seem like it is unfair since you have extra struggles! But try to always stay positive. Yes I know this seems arbitrary and something cliche, but it is a cliche for a reason! AND IT WORKS. I have been a skeptic for years about staying positive, verbalizing encouragement to oneself, praising oneself etc but trust me it works. I am the epitome of negativity and self-loathing but lately things have been improving a little. What I am doing is telling myself to stay positive no matter what, smile as much as I can, and that I have to love myself so that I would wanna treat myself right by staying happy and eating well!

Why do you have trouble eating right and exercising? Do you find everything too overwhelming for you? Why not take it slow? One step at a time? You don't need to be at the 'perfect diet and exercise' in the first go, and to be honest there is no such thing as a perfect diet and exercise! If your primary goal is to lose weight, focus just on eating right first! You don't have to be exercising at first, do some research on food, find what healthy foods you like, start by planning your meals and eating right, and remember take it slow! If everything is too overwhelming, you don't have to be perfect at day one!! As long as you were better than yesterday it is an improvement!! And trust me, it will accumulate, no matter how small the step is! Also, eating right doesn't have to be free of junk food or your comfort foods! They just have to be a smaller portion of your entire diet!! You don't need to restrict yourself of ANY FOODS!
FOCUS ON BEING BETTER THAN YESTERDAY, AND FORGET ABOUT HOW THE MISTAKES YOU MADE IN THE PAST! It is over and there is no point mulling over them. Also remember that the best of the best people make mistakes at times so there is no point in killing yourself over a slip up!! You could message me if you need any other help!!!

Remember, this is not some misery boot camp to lose weight, this is bettering yourself and knowing that you're worth it to make the effort towards a healthier and more fulfilling life! Read the SUCCESS STORIES here, many of them struggled so bad, but eventually they reached their goals and are feeling better and being more productive and happy!!!

I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH GOING SLOW! This is a competition with yourself, don't compare with others, some people have more difficulty losing weight, either genetically or motivation wise, so focus on bettering yourself! You have identified your problem of not being able to lose weight because you are not eating right nor exercising, so think of how much better you could be once you just start eating right!

Things that might help:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/912920-in-place-of-a-road-map-3-2013

Again, you could message me if you need help

So many people on MFP suffer from depression. You are certainly not alone.

IMO, you need to force yourself to do what you know is good for you:

(1) See your doctor regularly. It's good that you have one, go.

(2) Are you taking your meds regularly or are you skipping pills? Talk to your doctor about your medication.

(3) Get outside. Sunshine and exercise do help so if you can force yourself to do this, do it.

(4) Work on your diet and weight loss as these can also help you feel better.

Good advice.

You are not alone. There are lots of us on MFP who have mental health conditions to contend with. You will find support about how to improve your body, even with that, here.

Hey Kylie....

Wow, it was so weird reading your post. It was literally like I was reading something I wrote... It's the first time I've visited the message community. Believe me - I get where you are coming from.

So everyone can say take your meds, go to the doctor, plan your diet, and yes, those things definitely are super important, but when you struggle just to get out of bed and get out of your comfy pjs, every little thing can be such an overwhelming task.

I live in Minnesota, USA. Winters here are really tough, Feb and March are always the worse for me. It's inevitable that I gain 10 lbs. So sick of it. Anyway, it's life and I am rockily married, currently unemployed trying to finish grad school etc. Here are a few things that are helping me:

1. Leave the house - Get up and take a shower, put on some normal clothes. I don't know if you watch tv, but I believe it makes everything worse when you sit down and the hours just go by as do the calories. Make a plan to leave the house that day. Go the the library, a workforce center, anywhere but home. It's out of your comfort zone but it's away from food and will help you focus less on yourself and more on your environment and the task at hand.

2. Exercise - it's my savior and it gets tough, especially when I've binged or something and feel like trash, but everyday is a new day. It's been really, really hard lately, some days I actually feel a little embarrassed to go to the gym (which is all in my own head...) so I just go for a walk/jog around the block at home. You are outside in the fresh air, hopefully there is some sun, and you are burning calories and studies have shown that people are less likely to binge etc after exercise (it's true for me). Even a 15 min walk will get you started.

3. Volunteer/Intern - there are so many places and people that need help and it is a GREAT resume booster, self-esteem booster and awesome for networking! It gets so degrading and frustrating constantly filling out job applications. Man, it is seriously a drag.... Volunteering will get you out of the house, in a work setting (even if you are doing easy stuff, you are helping them, giving you much higher potential to get a job referral and you are not focusing on yourself and your despair. (It's hard not getting paid, but it's a heck of a lot better than staying home and you may end up in a job within a few months, you don't know until you try.)

Of course, these are just proven tips that are helping me, but I too have struggled with depression and bingeing for a good 15 years so believe me, I do get it. As hard as some days are (I had a really bad one on Monday), each day is a new day and I think the fact that you reached out to make your post is a great step that you are trying to beat it. I believe that I am a warrior and there are some things in life that you may need to battle or outwit, but THESE THINGS DO NOT DEFINE YOU (sorry to use all caps, but it's important).

I hope some of this helps. Please feel free to reach out anytime. By you doing so, you have already made my day better just knowing I'm not alone. So thank you.

Depression runs through my family, luckily, my bouts with it have been less severe than other members of my family, including my best friend, my sister. As bad as it gets and as difficult as it is to respond to, try and get outside and do something sustained, walking, jogging or my standby, biking.

Make a schedule for yourself, so you don't let your depression take those times of outside exercise away. Look to see if one of your friends is available. If not, try and look up walking groups, fellow bicyclists and such in your area. They can be found online and if you want help, I'll help track something down for you.

Knowing there is better out there is too abstract, you need to experience the better.

Good luck!

It took my mom many many years before she finally found the right combination of antidepressants that worked for her.


Because of her work, my psychiatrist immediately knew which combination of medications were likely to work well for me (Cymbalta and Trazodone/Serzone).


Don't give up. Please go see a mental health specialist, try a different medication, try adding a 2nd one to what you already take. There are more options out there.

Once you get the depression under better control, it'll be easier to lose the weight. When my depression was bad (before I figured out that was the problem was) the most I could do was to force myself outside for a walk when sun was shining. Improving my diet took too much effort beyond grabbing a bit more fruit to have with dinner.