I need a swift kick in the *kitten*

So I'm new to this site and am thinking about trying it out. I've had a weight problem my whole life and thankfully in high school I was a jock in that I played three sports and excelled. I was always overweight but because I excelled at sports I didn't get picked on or made fun of. However, now that I'm 38 and definitely not a jock, my weight is at its highest.

I'm hoping people can tell me what their "A-ha" or reality check moment was. I can't figure out why I always sabotage myself. Last year I had lost almost 30 lb. only to gain it all back. I think about going to the gym but always always come up with an excuse. I used to go all the time by myself but now I'm afraid to go. I think everyone is looking at the fat girl exercising (even though it's stupid to think that) but that's where my mind goes. And yes I know, who cares what other people think - well for some reason I do. Gahhhhhh Yes, I know I need to see a shrink. My saving grace are my two dogs. Since I work form home I take my dogs on about 4 walks a day and we do at least 2 miles a day if not 4 so that's a good thing. I know i need to change my eating habits because I'm a fast food felony offender. My goal this weekend is to buy enough food for the week so I don't feel the need to go out.

Anyhow, what's your story?

Thanks!