Negative Body Image Since Losing Weight

I would suggest talking to a counselor; this sort of thing is common after losing a lot of weight. You need some outside perspective on your feelings/goals.

I would suggest talking to a counselor; this sort of thing is common after losing a lot of weight. You need some outside perspective on your feelings/goals.

I think that's what I'll do. Thank you for the reply!

I was hoping there might be someone out there who has gone through the same thing and might have some advice or insight about this.

2 years ago I lost 50lbs. I went from 187 to 139. I also hated the way I looked. I was still flabby, even worse after I had all that extra skin! I ended up sabotaging myself and eating my way back up 20lbs. And...here I am again. I think I was almost afraid of reaching my goal. I dont know why but I too found it very easy to lose the weight. I also did not like the attention I was getting "oh you look great you've lost so much weight" "omg you lost so much weight" I'm more of a "dont look at me" kind of person and so all this attention was REALLY uncomfortable. that may have had alot to do with it.

Hi adk88-

I totally get what you're feeling. I've been on an up and down journey with my weight for about 15-20 years and I've finally arrived at my goal weight, but am still unhappy with my body image. When I look in the mirror, my eyes go directly to the areas that still leave a little to be desired. In my head I know I'm okay, but for right now I'm still struggling with constantly jumping on the scale for number validation. I am stuck in the cycle of okay, I don't like what I see in the mirror, but as long as the scale reads my magic number or less, then I guess the bad body image must just be in my mind. The problem is, that the magic number fluctuates...it's natural to fluctuate a little, but whenever the number is even a 1/2 lb. too high I automatically look in the mirror with frustration.
I don't know if this will work, but maybe if you posted a photo of yourself at your heaviest on your mirror and glance at it when the negative thoughts come into your head, then maybe you'll be reassured that what you see in the mirror is a much healthier beautiful person.

Good luck and remember to love yourself ALWAYS!

You're super cute. Declare victory.

much love to you and a tag cause I've been worried about this...
:flowerforyou:

Evileen has it right. I know that some people set a goal and think that when they reach that goal the skies will be blue. They are connecting some mega change with their goal. The goal and the mega gift that they are seeking may not be connected.
Since you are working out as well as dieting, you should be toned and look good.
Find a friend, get hair done, massage, nails, go shopping, and snatch for yourself some of those rewards that you were anticipating. The difference is significant. You did a great job.

Exactly this!!! I lost 30lbs last year and when I hit my goal I was like... um ok, now what? It became such a huge part of my life that when it was "over", I literally felt lost. I know that health and fitness are never really over, but losing weight and maintaining are so different. I worked hard during the week to hit my goals and looked forward to getting on the scale every week (ok maybe not every week lol), it gave me something to "do", like a hobby of sorts. I gained 20lbs back and I was actually happy about it because it gave me something to do/accomplish again. I know that probably sounds really weird, but same thing happened to me after college graduation-- I went through a blue period because all that work and suddenly it's over. Being a student was all I knew, and then I had the adjustment into the "real" world. When I was finished I also expected to look a LOT different than I did, which made it even worse, cause I was envisioning hitting that goal, slapping on a bikini, and parading around feeling like a sexy swimsuit model... but it didn't happen that way at all. Hang in there, and I think talking to someone is a great idea!! It really helps working through those feelings out loud!

You're certainly not alone in thinking this way. Trust me - I'm in the boat with you. As a guy I find the emotional side of weight loss to be very perplexing. Like most guys I didn't see myself as overweight before I started losing weight and I was quite comfortable where I was. Now I've lost 90lbs after deciding to eat healthier and I've gotten obsessive about weight loss. It's really gotten worse in the past two months as I've gotten very close to my goal. A few months ago I would have looked at myself in the mirror and given myself the thumbs up; now, I see fat and flaws. What makes it worse is that I'm being told that I've lost too much weight. I was asked if I have cancer last night!!! I know there's a condition called body dysmorphic disorder but I'm not sold on that. I have a very good friend (coworker) that lost almost 300lbs and has kept it off for years. She and I have talked at length and her advice has been to accept this as part of the process. We get so used to being larger (even if we don't see ourselves as such) that when we lose weight it takes a while for us to see the results; we still mentally see the before picture, not the after. I guess we just need to accept this as an "extra treat!" Haha! Don't let this derail you from maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle. In the end we'll all be better off for it. Sorry if my post doesn't offer any advice; it just felt nice to vent to others that understand.

I have gone through this!!!
I used to be a size 18 and I am now a size 4 and have been for about two years.
It has taken me the past year to get confortable wit myself.

Seeking a counselor is a good idea if your regular support system is not helping (friends/family/partners).

It's very common. I remember not hating myself as much when I was big and then wanting to DIE at size 6.

Things that helped me were:
taking a break from losing and learning how to maintain. I'd go months w/o losing.
taking a real look at my self and my life and finding my Real priorities. I wanted to lose weight and be healthy, not be a bikini model.
Taking a look at everyone else. Finding out what's actually normal, not what the TV makes me think is normal.

but mostly taking a break and assessing myself and my life helped the most.

Wow, it's like we're twins. I started at 230lbs and an 18-20. I'm down to a 6-8. I've lost over 80 lbs. I look fine in clothes, but every time I look in the mirror I only see what still needs to be worked on. When will I be happy? I obsessed way less when I was fat. I struggle with it every day. I totally understand where you are coming from. I take each day one at a time and try to say at least one nice thing to myself everyday. Some day I will begin to believe what I am saying...

Losing a significant amount fo weight (50# or more) is a huge accomplishment. But what often happens is a loss of self along with all the extra weight. Changing the way we perceive ourselves after a significant loss is not an easy thing to do. We may no longer identify with our previous body and who we were in it, but we may not identify with the new, smaller body either. There is a grieving process with significant weight loss whether we realize it or not; we say goodbye to who we were and the body in which we used to live.

When we look in the mirror at the new body, we may still see the "fat girl/guy" we used to be; still completely fixated on what we have not yet accomplished. It is a difficult thing to love your body, no matter who you are or what you weigh. We believe and hope that after we've accomplished our goal we will be able to finally love how we look. And then when we don't, it can become a vicious cycle of regaining and losing again.

Becoming comfortable in a new, smaller version of ourselves takes time and patience. Loose skin, loss of curves, all these things are reminders of who we were and what our old bodies looked like. It can be hugely disappointing to come out the other side of weight loss and not love or even like what we see. Body image at any size is a tricky thing.

There is no magic bullet here, I am sorry to say. You have to grieve who you were in the body you used to have and learn who you are in the new one. Try to focus on how you FEEL, not how you look. Do you have more energy in this new body? Are you able to do things in this new body that were difficult or impossible in the old one? Change is difficult. Learning to live with change is even more so. But it is not impossible.