Body dysmorphia

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  • vanguardfitness
    vanguardfitness Posts: 720 Member
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    I usually view myself as the most sexiest man alive
  • Doctorpurple
    Doctorpurple Posts: 507 Member
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    Our culture objectifies women and places so much emphasis on women's looks, it's hard not to have some body dysmorphia. It's also relative. When I'm around obese people, at 100-something pounds I feel thin. But around thin, willowy people I feel almost chunky.

    And it's not completely my imagination: When other women list their measurements, I realize that I AM pear-shaped. All I can do is try to lose some remaining vanity weight, dress for my shape and call it a day.

    I honestly think that pear shape is beautiful and feminine. I'm hourglass and although a lot of people would like that. I gain weight evenly top and bottom so when I gain weight, I can't really hide it. People who are pear can look thin since they are slim up top. They can wear flawy dresses with tight tops and looks thinner. I on the other hand will gain it evenly so no hiding.
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
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    Sometimes, but my weight actually helps me with that. I see the scale and I say there is no way someone who weights less than 120 can ever call herself fat.
  • Clemsonlkg
    Clemsonlkg Posts: 66 Member
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    It's weird, when I was 70 lbs heavier I never really thought I looked that big. When I saw myself in the mirror I thought I looked okay but it took seeing myself in photos to realize how big I really looked. Now that I've lost weight I feel like I look pretty much the same as when I was heavier and my friends tell me I'm crazy for not seeing the difference.

    This is me too.
  • wigglypeaches
    wigglypeaches Posts: 146 Member
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    To answer your question, yes, I've struggled with some form of body dysmorphia for years. I'm learning to rely on the recommended ranges for healthy muscle mass, body fat and BMI, because I'm not sure I can trust my own perceptions.

    Having said that, t can be a pretty serious issue and if you think you need help, get help. It's also wonderful that you're realizing that your self-image might be unrealistic when you see new information - sometimes the denial can be so bad that it's difficult or impossible to consider the problem might be mental.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    I realized today that I might have a mild version of body dysmorphia. I went to the gym and after a brief workout. I weighed myself. I know I shouldn't have because I'm bloated due to my period and I usually gain 2 lbs. Sure enough, the scale was higher than usual. sigh. Oh well... Anyway one woman weighed in after me. Before weighing in, I realized that she is about the same height as me maybe even shorter but I thought she was tiny. She weighed in and to my surprise she weighed very similar to my weight. Probably just about 3 lbs less. I was surprised by this since I would never think I'm that small. I surely think I may have some form of body dysmorphia. Do you guys have any similar stories like this? I would appreciate for you guys to share.
    Try having your husband take pics of you from various angles such that you aren't likely to recognize yourself. (You might also try having him block out your face in the pics to keep you from instantly recognizing yourself.) I suspect some of this may be like other optical illusions where your optical processing in your brain just makes up what it thinks you should be seeing. You probably don't know what you really look like from behind, so that's one example of a picture where you would have a better chance of seeing your body as it really is.
  • Doctorpurple
    Doctorpurple Posts: 507 Member
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    I suffer from this as well as EDNOS, which I used to be in therapy for both and recently stopped. I never really realized it until after I started seeing my therapist, and she pointed it out to me. I have lost over 100 pounds but mentally, I think I stopped seeing the loss after about 50 pounds, if that makes sense. I wear a size 6, I am technically skinny fat. But I just see fat. It was so bad for a while, I could look in the mirror and feel "OK" about my size, but after I ate I would go look in the mirror again and suddenly look HUGE to myself. When my exboyfriend took away my scale, I started judging myself by the look in the mirror even more, and it got worse. I then started thinking my nose was huge, my arms were huge, my neck was fat....

    Just recently I have started to make myself look at myself naked (CRINGE) in the mirror EVERY DAY and really study myself to get a good grip on my size. Since I have started eating RIGHT, I have gained about 6 pounds, and in the mirror every pound looks like ten to *ME*. . I think many people who deal with insecurities regarding their weight do this, and it is important to work on not letting it get out of hand, it can mess with a lot of aspects of your life (Notice how I said EXBOYFRIEND above :( apparently, its hard to live with someone who has BDD)

    Sorry so long, I kinda ramble :)

    This is so very familiar to me....all of it.

    I gain a few pounds from my period and suddenly feel like all my progress is gone and that I may as well binge eat because it was all for nothing. I constantly seek feedback from people because I truly have times where I cannot tell if what I am seeing is real. Sometimes I think I look amazing and really don't. Other times I feel disgusting and people tell me I look good. I wish I had more advice but I don't even know how to deal with this myself!

    I know it can be hard. I've read your profile and it seems like you have terrific outlook on weight loss. And to top that off, you look great!
  • Doctorpurple
    Doctorpurple Posts: 507 Member
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    I usually view myself as the most sexiest man alive

    Good for you!!:smile:
  • Doctorpurple
    Doctorpurple Posts: 507 Member
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    By the looks of your profile pic, if I had to describe you to someone, I would certainly describe you as "tiny" or "petite." You are definitely not seeing yourself as others see you. I think many women see a fatty in the mirror, even when they are rail thin. I have experienced the same thing. When I was within my healthy weight range for my height (around 120-125 pounds), I always saw myself as a "fat person." Yet when I was underweight (109 pounds) and suffering because of it (with severe iron deficiency, achy joints, fatigued, pale), I felt like I looked "healthy and fit" even though I had no shape at all and people were worried about me. Then, when I lost my husband and very rapidly went up to 162 pounds (quite overweight for my short height) - I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT EITHER! I felt I was staying around the same! Only after seeing photos of myself and really puzzling over who it was until I realised from the clothes it was ME did I buy some scales and find out the shocking truth that I had gained over 50 pounds. To make a long story short, our self-perception can be way out of whack in either direction. It pays to try and imagine how your dear friends look to you and then give yourself the same kindness. (When I look around at my closest girlfriends, I can honestly say I find them drop-dead gorgeous, just beautiful and sexy women, inside and out, even though they aren't all "skinny".) Yes, we want to be fit and healthy on here, and achieve this and that health and body goal ... but we should also appreciate what we have. We don't want to look in the mirror and not see our existing beauty!

    I definitely feel like you as well. Its so much easier for me to see the beauty in other people. Many days I feel like I do appreciate what I have and proud of it but some days I tend to wish I was better, thinner, taller, etc. But when it comes to other girls especially my friends. I can honestly see the beauty in all of them. I think that they all gorgeous people inside and out.
  • Doctorpurple
    Doctorpurple Posts: 507 Member
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    I realized today that I might have a mild version of body dysmorphia. I went to the gym and after a brief workout. I weighed myself. I know I shouldn't have because I'm bloated due to my period and I usually gain 2 lbs. Sure enough, the scale was higher than usual. sigh. Oh well... Anyway one woman weighed in after me. Before weighing in, I realized that she is about the same height as me maybe even shorter but I thought she was tiny. She weighed in and to my surprise she weighed very similar to my weight. Probably just about 3 lbs less. I was surprised by this since I would never think I'm that small. I surely think I may have some form of body dysmorphia. Do you guys have any similar stories like this? I would appreciate for you guys to share.
    Try having your husband take pics of you from various angles such that you aren't likely to recognize yourself. (You might also try having him block out your face in the pics to keep you from instantly recognizing yourself.) I suspect some of this may be like other optical illusions where your optical processing in your brain just makes up what it thinks you should be seeing. You probably don't know what you really look like from behind, so that's one example of a picture where you would have a better chance of seeing your body as it really is.

    good idea
  • Alamo0809
    Alamo0809 Posts: 95 Member
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    I wish I could convince you to not waste your time or your beautiful youth being unhappy with your body... but I probably won't be able to convince you.

    I was the same way and now when I look back at my weight and body I realize I looked great. So weird how we are like that but I really think it is pressure from the media... normal people do not look like the majority of anorexic Hollywood types but those images saturate our brain and psyche and make us think our bodies are not attractive.

    I found the comments really interesting in that this seems to be, primarily, a female issue. Most men have an opposite concept of their self image.

    Thanks for sharing because I bet most of us, females in particular, need to give this some thought.
  • Doctorpurple
    Doctorpurple Posts: 507 Member
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    I wish I could convince you to not waste your time or your beautiful youth being unhappy with your body... but I probably won't be able to convince you.

    I was the same way and now when I look back at my weight and body I realize I looked great. So weird how we are like that but I really think it is pressure from the media... normal people do not look like the majority of anorexic Hollywood types but those images saturate our brain and psyche and make us think our bodies are not attractive.

    I found the comments really interesting in that this seems to be, primarily, a female issue. Most men have an opposite concept of their self image.

    Thanks for sharing because I bet most of us, females in particular, need to give this some thought.

    that reminds me of this cartoon I saw a while ago.

    ren0008l_zpsb7d29f31.jpg
  • futiledevices
    futiledevices Posts: 309 Member
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    I feel like I have this to some degree, too. I feel very ugly and fat almost all of the time. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, but sometimes I do it just to see how I ugly I am and put myself down in front of my partner. Other people see me completely differently.. of course.. but I feel that they are lying to me. I don't remember not feeling this way, so it's been a lifelong "illness," I guess.. I did some cognitive behavioural therapy a few years back and it helped a little bit, temporarily. BD is a *****.
  • Spindigo1
    Spindigo1 Posts: 123 Member
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    Totally! I have NO idea what size I actually am. My gf FORCED me to try on a pair of pants I was sure was two sizes two big....and they fit. We have two mirrors in our house and one is a fat mirror and one is a skinny mirror and I know neither are correct!
  • Erica_theRedhead
    Erica_theRedhead Posts: 724 Member
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    I hear you. I've been heavy my whole life and am just used to thinking of myself that way. Even now, I still feel like I look exactly the same as I did over 90 pounds ago. My friend will offer me an outfit of hers to go out in and my first reaction is that there is no way that your clothes would fit me. In truth, some are actually a little baggy.

    I honestly don't know how to change how one perceives themselves, but just fight daily to be positive and supportive even on days that you feel like you failed. It's a long process..
  • boogiewoogiekar
    boogiewoogiekar Posts: 36
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    When I saw myself in the mirror I thought I looked okay but it took seeing myself in photos to realize how big I really looked. Now that I've lost weight I feel like I look pretty much the same as when I was heavier and my friends tell me I'm crazy for not seeing the difference.
    This is how I am. I guess it would be the opposite of body dysmorphia. I never used to think I was fat until I lost weight.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    I wish I could convince you to not waste your time or your beautiful youth being unhappy with your body... but I probably won't be able to convince you.

    I was the same way and now when I look back at my weight and body I realize I looked great. So weird how we are like that but I really think it is pressure from the media... normal people do not look like the majority of anorexic Hollywood types but those images saturate our brain and psyche and make us think our bodies are not attractive.

    I found the comments really interesting in that this seems to be, primarily, a female issue. Most men have an opposite concept of their self image.

    Thanks for sharing because I bet most of us, females in particular, need to give this some thought.

    that reminds me of this cartoon I saw a while ago.

    ren0008l_zpsb7d29f31.jpg

    It's called the results of living in a sexist culture. Men, in general, are raised to think they're Adonises no matter what they look like and feel entitled to judge women. Women are raised to hold themselves to impossible standards.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    I honestly don't know how to change how one perceives themselves, but just fight daily to be positive and supportive even on days that you feel like you failed. It's a long process..

    It's important to realize that you may never be completely happy with your appearance, but it's not just you. There are entire industries devoted to making women feel bad about themselves in order to sell them products. Just do the best you can.
  • squashyhelen
    squashyhelen Posts: 143 Member
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    Hello, my MFP friend and virtual body twin! I am recently experiencing a mild form of this too. I know my brain usually takes 3 months or more to "catch up" to what my outward appearance is. I took full-body weekly or bi-weekly pictures of myself since joining MFP late November. In the beginning, I couldn't believe that I had so much extra meat on my body. Now, I'm confused at the person in the pictures and keep retaking because I keep thinking that the angle of the camera is making my legs look smaller than they are. Or that the lighting must be weird, because the scale sure isn't moving, and I don't consistently measure inches in the same way.

    Just the other day, I had a bewildered moment where I noticed YOUR stats, looked at your pix, and thought - no way I am nearly like this gorgeous girl with her long legs and toned body. We seem to be close in height, close in weight, and close in body fat percentage ... yet the brain just didn't understand. So there you go. :) You're my version of that tiny girl who stepped on the scale.
  • tenintwenty
    tenintwenty Posts: 92
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    At my work, I get a report with every client's height and weight (reported weight, so I'm guess they are under reporting by a few lbs too), and I am shocked that all the women are 20 - 50 lbs more than me, but some of them look thin. Yeah, I guess your persception can get scewed when you compare yourself to an ideal rather than what the reality of the average body is like.

    Also, I keep measuring my bf and getting around 14%, but I'm just not able to comprehend that!

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