Body dysmorphia
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I wish I could convince you to not waste your time or your beautiful youth being unhappy with your body... but I probably won't be able to convince you.
I was the same way and now when I look back at my weight and body I realize I looked great. So weird how we are like that but I really think it is pressure from the media... normal people do not look like the majority of anorexic Hollywood types but those images saturate our brain and psyche and make us think our bodies are not attractive.
I found the comments really interesting in that this seems to be, primarily, a female issue. Most men have an opposite concept of their self image.
Thanks for sharing because I bet most of us, females in particular, need to give this some thought.0 -
I wish I could convince you to not waste your time or your beautiful youth being unhappy with your body... but I probably won't be able to convince you.
I was the same way and now when I look back at my weight and body I realize I looked great. So weird how we are like that but I really think it is pressure from the media... normal people do not look like the majority of anorexic Hollywood types but those images saturate our brain and psyche and make us think our bodies are not attractive.
I found the comments really interesting in that this seems to be, primarily, a female issue. Most men have an opposite concept of their self image.
Thanks for sharing because I bet most of us, females in particular, need to give this some thought.
that reminds me of this cartoon I saw a while ago.
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I feel like I have this to some degree, too. I feel very ugly and fat almost all of the time. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, but sometimes I do it just to see how I ugly I am and put myself down in front of my partner. Other people see me completely differently.. of course.. but I feel that they are lying to me. I don't remember not feeling this way, so it's been a lifelong "illness," I guess.. I did some cognitive behavioural therapy a few years back and it helped a little bit, temporarily. BD is a *****.0
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Totally! I have NO idea what size I actually am. My gf FORCED me to try on a pair of pants I was sure was two sizes two big....and they fit. We have two mirrors in our house and one is a fat mirror and one is a skinny mirror and I know neither are correct!0
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I hear you. I've been heavy my whole life and am just used to thinking of myself that way. Even now, I still feel like I look exactly the same as I did over 90 pounds ago. My friend will offer me an outfit of hers to go out in and my first reaction is that there is no way that your clothes would fit me. In truth, some are actually a little baggy.
I honestly don't know how to change how one perceives themselves, but just fight daily to be positive and supportive even on days that you feel like you failed. It's a long process..0 -
This is how I am. I guess it would be the opposite of body dysmorphia. I never used to think I was fat until I lost weight.When I saw myself in the mirror I thought I looked okay but it took seeing myself in photos to realize how big I really looked. Now that I've lost weight I feel like I look pretty much the same as when I was heavier and my friends tell me I'm crazy for not seeing the difference.0 -
I wish I could convince you to not waste your time or your beautiful youth being unhappy with your body... but I probably won't be able to convince you.
I was the same way and now when I look back at my weight and body I realize I looked great. So weird how we are like that but I really think it is pressure from the media... normal people do not look like the majority of anorexic Hollywood types but those images saturate our brain and psyche and make us think our bodies are not attractive.
I found the comments really interesting in that this seems to be, primarily, a female issue. Most men have an opposite concept of their self image.
Thanks for sharing because I bet most of us, females in particular, need to give this some thought.
that reminds me of this cartoon I saw a while ago.
It's called the results of living in a sexist culture. Men, in general, are raised to think they're Adonises no matter what they look like and feel entitled to judge women. Women are raised to hold themselves to impossible standards.0 -
I honestly don't know how to change how one perceives themselves, but just fight daily to be positive and supportive even on days that you feel like you failed. It's a long process..
It's important to realize that you may never be completely happy with your appearance, but it's not just you. There are entire industries devoted to making women feel bad about themselves in order to sell them products. Just do the best you can.0 -
Hello, my MFP friend and virtual body twin! I am recently experiencing a mild form of this too. I know my brain usually takes 3 months or more to "catch up" to what my outward appearance is. I took full-body weekly or bi-weekly pictures of myself since joining MFP late November. In the beginning, I couldn't believe that I had so much extra meat on my body. Now, I'm confused at the person in the pictures and keep retaking because I keep thinking that the angle of the camera is making my legs look smaller than they are. Or that the lighting must be weird, because the scale sure isn't moving, and I don't consistently measure inches in the same way.
Just the other day, I had a bewildered moment where I noticed YOUR stats, looked at your pix, and thought - no way I am nearly like this gorgeous girl with her long legs and toned body. We seem to be close in height, close in weight, and close in body fat percentage ... yet the brain just didn't understand. So there you go.
You're my version of that tiny girl who stepped on the scale. 0 -
At my work, I get a report with every client's height and weight (reported weight, so I'm guess they are under reporting by a few lbs too), and I am shocked that all the women are 20 - 50 lbs more than me, but some of them look thin. Yeah, I guess your persception can get scewed when you compare yourself to an ideal rather than what the reality of the average body is like.
Also, I keep measuring my bf and getting around 14%, but I'm just not able to comprehend that!0 -
I don't know if you lost weight before the 6 pounds on MFP, but I've noticed that after losing 64 pounds, I don't see myself the way everyone else does. I always try on clothes about 2 sizes too big because I can't imagine I could fit in the right size. I can look at pics and tell I've lost weight, but I see myself about 30 pounds ago. I'm hoping that my body image will adjust, but my friends know that they have to tell me if I look too thin. I'm a long way from that being a problem (unlike you), but I don't see the changes they do so they already know they should always tell me the truth. I just look at myself and see what's left to achieve, not what I've done. I wish I could see what I really look like.0
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I wish it wasn't so hard to look at your body objectively. In the mirror I look OK, in some pictures I look relatively less fat, and in other pictures I look like lard. I really have no idea what my body looks like.0
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My friend will offer me an outfit of hers to go out in and my first reaction is that there is no way that your clothes would fit me. In truth, some are actually a little baggy.
I had that happen last week and I still can't quite comprehend it. Especially since she weighs about ten pounds less than me. She tried to explain the muscle v. fat thing, saying that I have more muscle than her, but I don't see that. Then it sounds like I'm fishing for compliments. I'm not, I genuinely can't see it and am trying to understand.0 -
Unfortunately this is definitely something I think a lot of people deal with. There is so much pressure to be thin and competition among women. I definitely see myself as much heavier than what I am. But it helps me to know my numbers. I know I might feel really "fat" but I know from my numbers (weight, bmi, inches) that I'm not as big as what I think.0
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I have fairly bad body dysmorphia. I can't even look in a mirror without stressing about everything wrong with me. I feel fat and lumpy most of the time. My friends have suggested therapy, and I'm at the point where I think I should probably get help, because it's pretty rough.
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this is exactly me!! i must drive my hubby bonker's!!0 -
it could get easier as you get older and your social circle becomes less shallow.
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
this website is cool - pics of real women at all kinds of sizes.
put in your height and weight to see other chicks who are the same as you and you can see what other people see.
Whether you're satisfied with that is up to you but I found it interesting and helpful.
PS: I was a size 18 in highschool and about 7 years ago - I am now a size 4
looking at pics from then and now helps too.0 -
it could get easier as you get older and your social circle becomes less shallow.
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
this website is cool - pics of real women at all kinds of sizes.
put in your height and weight to see other chicks who are the same as you and you can see what other people see.
Whether you're satisfied with that is up to you but I found it interesting and helpful.
PS: I was a size 18 in highschool and about 7 years ago - I am now a size 4
looking at pics from then and now helps too.
Thanks for the website. It was interesting how different people look at the same height and weight. I'm still not sure who I look similar to, but it's cool to see.0 -
Unfortunately this is definitely something I think a lot of people deal with. There is so much pressure to be thin and competition among women. I definitely see myself as much heavier than what I am. But it helps me to know my numbers. I know I might feel really "fat" but I know from my numbers (weight, bmi, inches) that I'm not as big as what I think.
I definitely agree with this. Women can be so competitive with each other especially with weight in today's society. I wish it wasn't like that.0 -
i suffer0
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My family tell me that at 5'2" and 105 lbs that I don't need to lose but I really think I do; I always feel like a chunky girl :-( Maybe my body just holds weight in a horrible way...I don't know but I am very confused when people tell me that I'm thin! ♥0
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I'm really fighting my mind and the scale lately....my bf says I feel lighter but I'm up ten pounds
My clothes fit the same and I think my body is toning up....just feel like I could lose like 30 more....somehow..but idk where.. 0 -
I have diagnosed body dysmorphia, and dealt with anorexia for a long, long time. Managing the ED, unfortunately, does not suddenly turn the BDD off.
Doing everything I can to take focus off my body's appearance and onto its ability (read: how well I play sports, how much I can lift and carry, how fast or far I can run) has helped me deal with my warped self-perception. It's a big recommendation I have for anyone dealing with an ED or body dysmorphia (which often go hand in hand)--feeling strong and powerful can shift your focus slowly but surely without you realizing it.
Edited to add: Pictures can be a double-edged sword. BDD carries over into "camera" views, too. I've been told not to take pictures from a therapist, because often that can trigger even more self-perception issues. Remember, it's a disorder that drastically affects image of yourself (if it's BDD and not insecurities, or the brain not yet "catching up" to the body's current appearance); that doesn't necessarily change when it's looking through a camera. I can't recommend enough learning to love and appreciate your body for its function, because appearance will come right along with it.0 -
It's weird, when I was 70 lbs heavier I never really thought I looked that big. When I saw myself in the mirror I thought I looked okay but it took seeing myself in photos to realize how big I really looked. Now that I've lost weight I feel like I look pretty much the same as when I was heavier and my friends tell me I'm crazy for not seeing the difference.
This is me exactly. I feel more self conscious now than I did 70 pounds ago.
Me, too. the picture I have in my head is of a completely different person. now that I'm dropping the weight, I'm having a really hard time seeing it, because I'm so used to envisioning this ocmpletely different me, so the reality still looks huge and distorted. alternately, my sister who is super tiny (~110, 5'1") envisions herself as HUGE, and always talks about feeling bloated and fat, when she's this tiny little thing that I could pick up and carry around. some days, it gets hard to accept the reality of myself, because I think I'm skinnier than I am, and some days, it's hard to accept compliments of the people who see me not as fat as I I believe I really am. what a battle. O,o.0 -
Every time I look in the mirror I see an overweight person.0
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your gorgious wish I looked like you! But I would have to say I like the changes I am seeing in myself0
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Happened to me yesterday at the gym. My brother-in-law was there and my husband told me how much he weighed after an injury. I had always pictured myself as bigger than him even with my 50# weight loss. I was shocked.... not only that I was smaller but I got to thinking about it... why would I automatically assume I was bigger than this man. It was a weird moment. Then I got back to exercising so I could be even more badass.
I dont know if I'd go as far as to say actual Body Dysmorphia diagnosis but sometimes we automatically assume the worse of ourselves. And since we are men and women trying to lose weight, our brain/perception has to play catch up to our weight loss.0 -
It's weird, when I was 70 lbs heavier I never really thought I looked that big. When I saw myself in the mirror I thought I looked okay but it took seeing myself in photos to realize how big I really looked. Now that I've lost weight I feel like I look pretty much the same as when I was heavier and my friends tell me I'm crazy for not seeing the difference.
This is me too.
This is me! I've lost 60lbs, went from a size 16/18 and XXL shirts to a size 8 and S or XS in shirts and I look in the mirror and see a fat girl. I see a change obviously when I look at pictures, but I just can't see it in the mirror.0 -
I have diagnosed body dysmorphia, and dealt with anorexia for a long, long time. Managing the ED, unfortunately, does not suddenly turn the BDD off.
Doing everything I can to take focus off my body's appearance and onto its ability (read: how well I play sports, how much I can lift and carry, how fast or far I can run) has helped me deal with my warped self-perception. It's a big recommendation I have for anyone dealing with an ED or body dysmorphia (which often go hand in hand)--feeling strong and powerful can shift your focus slowly but surely without you realizing it.
Edited to add: Pictures can be a double-edged sword. BDD carries over into "camera" views, too. I've been told not to take pictures from a therapist, because often that can trigger even more self-perception issues. Remember, it's a disorder that drastically affects image of yourself (if it's BDD and not insecurities, or the brain not yet "catching up" to the body's current appearance); that doesn't necessarily change when it's looking through a camera. I can't recommend enough learning to love and appreciate your body for its function, because appearance will come right along with it.
I agree!!0 -
I vote for getting rid of mirrors. I have never seen anyone but a fat lady in mine.0
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Yeah this is me, no matter how much I lose I still think I look 'bigger'. One of my friends is smaller than me but weighs more and I always think that she looks loads smaller than me, but she's not. We're the same size. My problem is I was 25lbs lower than I am now as a teenager and that's what I remember as my 'ideal'. I'm hoping that if I tone up I'll be happy. I know I'm not technically overweight, but I defo don't think I see myself as others do xx0
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