Negative Body Image Since Losing Weight

adk88 · March 2013

Since I started my journey, I have lost a total of 70 pounds. I never struggled with my weight. I was never unhappy with the way I looked before. One day I made the decision that I wanted to feel healthier, I joined MFP, and lost the weight. It wasn't a struggle, there were no ups and downs along the way. It was - and I hate to say this - easy for me.

This past few months is when I've really started to feel crappy about myself. I've never been so unhappy with my body or with the way I look as I am now. The only people I have tried to talk to about this just tell me that I'm crazy for feeling like that and I shouldn't feel that way. I mean, I lost 70 pounds! I went from a size 14-16 to a loose/comfortable size 8. I lost 8 inches in my waist alone (from a 36 to a 28). But all I see when I look at myself is someone who needs to lose weight. I see all the areas that could stand to lose a few inches and I am so uncomfortable with my own body. I've never dealt with this feeling before, and I just don't know what to do about it.

I'm working my butt off, and I'm in the middle of a four week plateau that I just can't seem to break, which certainly doesn't help with the feelings of frustration. The biggest problem that I can see is that I am starting to have negative thoughts about food. I am still eating, aiming for 1800 calories a day (usually end up between 1500-1600) with working out (mix of cardio and strength) 4-5 times a week. I don't log or eat back the exercise calories as they are already calculated into my daily goal.

I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this? I don't know if this is something I should try to talk to someone about before it gets worse, or if there's anything I can do to help this on my own?

ember673 · March 2013

I have just started my journey but my doctor warned me about what you are feeling. I don't have much advice but to let you know it is common to feel this way. His advice to me was to try to find a the shape i was comfortable with and then stick with that even if it was higher than my target weight. Congrats on making it this far. Hugs

evileen99 · March 2013

I would suggest talking to a counselor; this sort of thing is common after losing a lot of weight. You need some outside perspective on your feelings/goals.

adk88 · March 2013

I would suggest talking to a counselor; this sort of thing is common after losing a lot of weight. You need some outside perspective on your feelings/goals.

I think that's what I'll do. Thank you for the reply!

I was hoping there might be someone out there who has gone through the same thing and might have some advice or insight about this.

BflSaberfan · March 2013

I would suggest talking to a counselor; this sort of thing is common after losing a lot of weight. You need some outside perspective on your feelings/goals.

I think that's what I'll do. Thank you for the reply!

I was hoping there might be someone out there who has gone through the same thing and might have some advice or insight about this.

2 years ago I lost 50lbs. I went from 187 to 139. I also hated the way I looked. I was still flabby, even worse after I had all that extra skin! I ended up sabotaging myself and eating my way back up 20lbs. And...here I am again. I think I was almost afraid of reaching my goal. I dont know why but I too found it very easy to lose the weight. I also did not like the attention I was getting "oh you look great you've lost so much weight" "omg you lost so much weight" I'm more of a "dont look at me" kind of person and so all this attention was REALLY uncomfortable. that may have had alot to do with it.

TrishLG · March 2013

Evileen has it right. I know that some people set a goal and think that when they reach that goal the skies will be blue. They are connecting some mega change with their goal. The goal and the mega gift that they are seeking may not be connected.
Since you are working out as well as dieting, you should be toned and look good.
Find a friend, get hair done, massage, nails, go shopping, and snatch for yourself some of those rewards that you were anticipating. The difference is significant. You did a great job.

cdswicky · March 2013

Hi adk88-

I totally get what you're feeling. I've been on an up and down journey with my weight for about 15-20 years and I've finally arrived at my goal weight, but am still unhappy with my body image. When I look in the mirror, my eyes go directly to the areas that still leave a little to be desired. In my head I know I'm okay, but for right now I'm still struggling with constantly jumping on the scale for number validation. I am stuck in the cycle of okay, I don't like what I see in the mirror, but as long as the scale reads my magic number or less, then I guess the bad body image must just be in my mind. The problem is, that the magic number fluctuates...it's natural to fluctuate a little, but whenever the number is even a 1/2 lb. too high I automatically look in the mirror with frustration.
I don't know if this will work, but maybe if you posted a photo of yourself at your heaviest on your mirror and glance at it when the negative thoughts come into your head, then maybe you'll be reassured that what you see in the mirror is a much healthier beautiful person.

Good luck and remember to love yourself ALWAYS!

ShelliePAwesome · March 2013

You said you were never unhappy with the way you looked before. Do you feel like people are giving you a backhanded compliment by saying how great you look now, thereby making you feel like they thought you looked really bad before?

Is this making you question your judgement on your body image?

Please don't forget why you started this...to feel healthier.

Do you feel healthier? Stronger? Do you have more energy?

Try to focus on the positives. I know it is easier to focus on the negatives, but banish the negative thoughts and replace them with self congratulatory ones and focus on upcoming goals.

adk88 · March 2013

I don't know if this will work, but maybe if you posted a photo of yourself at your heaviest on your mirror and glance at it when the negative thoughts come into your head, then maybe you'll be reassured that what you see in the mirror is a much healthier beautiful person.

I love that idea! Thank you!

You said you were never unhappy with the way you looked before. Do you feel like people are giving you a backhanded compliment by saying how great you look now, thereby making you feel like they thought you looked really bad before?

Is this making you question your judgement on your body image?

Please don't forget why you started this...to feel healthier.

Do you feel healthier? Stronger? Do you have more energy?

Try to focus on the positives. I know it is easier to focus on the negatives, but banish the negative thoughts and replace them with self congratulatory ones and focus on upcoming goals.

I don't know if it necessarily makes me feel like people thought I looked bad before, but I am definitely uncomfortable with talking about my weight loss. I could talk about calories, nutrition, training, etc all day long, but the second it comes down to me and my individual results I get uncomfortable.

I do feel healthier and stronger, and it does feel great. I have more energy and I know that there is a change in me and my body, I just can't see it for what it is. It amazes me that I can feel one way and see myself a completely different way.

I will definitely try to focus on the positives, and don't get me wrong, I know that there are so many upsides to this. I wouldn't want to go back to the way I was before, I would just love to be able to feel good about myself again.

Thanks so much for the replies!

succubaeangel · March 2013

I went though that three months ago-I did Insanity last year and I had amazing results, I was in the best body shape of my life. Yet, I kept on thinking I still had to lose weight. I was so obsessed about it that I got depressed and started to overeat. I gained almost all my previous weight back.
Looking at the pictures from then I realize I looked amazing. I wish someone would explain it me wtf was that and how to prevent it from happening again.

Espressocycle · March 2013

You're super cute. Declare victory.

RumpusP · March 2013

I've actually seen a lot of people online and at weightloss groups I'm in express this.. both being unhappy with their looks and suddenly feeling fatter looking/more concerned about their bodyfat.

So you're definitely not alone.

I don't know what to say to help it since I haven't gone through it... I've some things I'm not thrilled with because I've lost so much weight that I have some extra skin issues, but I'm generally happy.

I hope you can work it out!

Davina_JH · March 2013

much love to you and a tag cause I've been worried about this...
:flowerforyou:

mag1c · March 2013

When making an effort to "look good" even just to yourself, you automatically are going to be more judgmental and unhappy with what you see. You have to translate that into motivation to carry on. At one point I had lost 103lbs but my body composition was crap. I had gone from fat/round and ugly to floppy/flabby and ugly. I began getting serious about lifting weights and really have changed what I saw in the mirror into something that is more appealing. I'm still negative about certain thing about my body but I try to remember where I came from and what this body has been through and then re visualize where I want to take it. Keep your head up, remember that you are healthier now, and that you are on a long road and you are not a finished product.

kimdyson3 · March 2013

Evileen has it right. I know that some people set a goal and think that when they reach that goal the skies will be blue. They are connecting some mega change with their goal. The goal and the mega gift that they are seeking may not be connected.
Since you are working out as well as dieting, you should be toned and look good.
Find a friend, get hair done, massage, nails, go shopping, and snatch for yourself some of those rewards that you were anticipating. The difference is significant. You did a great job.

Exactly this!!! I lost 30lbs last year and when I hit my goal I was like... um ok, now what? It became such a huge part of my life that when it was "over", I literally felt lost. I know that health and fitness are never really over, but losing weight and maintaining are so different. I worked hard during the week to hit my goals and looked forward to getting on the scale every week (ok maybe not every week lol), it gave me something to "do", like a hobby of sorts. I gained 20lbs back and I was actually happy about it because it gave me something to do/accomplish again. I know that probably sounds really weird, but same thing happened to me after college graduation-- I went through a blue period because all that work and suddenly it's over. Being a student was all I knew, and then I had the adjustment into the "real" world. When I was finished I also expected to look a LOT different than I did, which made it even worse, cause I was envisioning hitting that goal, slapping on a bikini, and parading around feeling like a sexy swimsuit model... but it didn't happen that way at all. Hang in there, and I think talking to someone is a great idea!! It really helps working through those feelings out loud!

tidesong · March 2013

Yes, I've gone through, and am going through this. I've lost about 100 pounds, in two chunks of time. The first was 35ish pounds back in 2005. The last 65 pounds has been in the past year. You'd think I'd be happy...in the past year, 65 pounds gone, 10" gone off my waist, 11" gone off my hips, etc., etc.

But I look in the mirror, and I don't see a new person. I still see the old fat person.

And I think my body is ugly right now. Loose skin everywhere, The girls have gotten much smaller. I feel ugly.

But this is not unusual. In fact, it's quite common, especially for women. It will take time for us to adjust. Be kind to yourself. Easy to say, not so easy to do, I know. Know that you are beautiful. Regardless. And you have done the right thing for your body by taking steps to make it more healthy. Focus on those things if you can. And when you can't, or you're having a bad day, that's what we're all here for. We're in this together. *hugs*

kevinosity · March 2013

You're certainly not alone in thinking this way. Trust me - I'm in the boat with you. As a guy I find the emotional side of weight loss to be very perplexing. Like most guys I didn't see myself as overweight before I started losing weight and I was quite comfortable where I was. Now I've lost 90lbs after deciding to eat healthier and I've gotten obsessive about weight loss. It's really gotten worse in the past two months as I've gotten very close to my goal. A few months ago I would have looked at myself in the mirror and given myself the thumbs up; now, I see fat and flaws. What makes it worse is that I'm being told that I've lost too much weight. I was asked if I have cancer last night!!! I know there's a condition called body dysmorphic disorder but I'm not sold on that. I have a very good friend (coworker) that lost almost 300lbs and has kept it off for years. She and I have talked at length and her advice has been to accept this as part of the process. We get so used to being larger (even if we don't see ourselves as such) that when we lose weight it takes a while for us to see the results; we still mentally see the before picture, not the after. I guess we just need to accept this as an "extra treat!" Haha! Don't let this derail you from maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle. In the end we'll all be better off for it. Sorry if my post doesn't offer any advice; it just felt nice to vent to others that understand.

erd1954 · March 2013

I know I don't know you so this may not resonate at all with what you are experiencing but I was a bit disappointed when I lost weight that I wasn't happier. I felt better and felt healthier but not really happier. Don't let negativity sabotage your efforts and talk with people that support you. Also, if you are feeling "down" for more than 2-3 weeks see your medical provider.

petstorekitty · March 2013

I have gone through this!!!
I used to be a size 18 and I am now a size 4 and have been for about two years.
It has taken me the past year to get confortable wit myself.

Seeking a counselor is a good idea if your regular support system is not helping (friends/family/partners).

It's very common. I remember not hating myself as much when I was big and then wanting to DIE at size 6.

Things that helped me were:
taking a break from losing and learning how to maintain. I'd go months w/o losing.
taking a real look at my self and my life and finding my Real priorities. I wanted to lose weight and be healthy, not be a bikini model.
Taking a look at everyone else. Finding out what's actually normal, not what the TV makes me think is normal.

but mostly taking a break and assessing myself and my life helped the most.

AmyW125 · March 2013

I understand 100%. I see all the things that the "fat" left! When I was 200 pounds I guess I didn't care what I looked like-I knew I didn't look good. Now, I eat right ,work out all the time and I have been fighting with the last 10 pounds and the left over skin and I'm harder on myself about everything. I do look back on old posts on here to see how far I have come and I have awesome friends on here (NOT in real life) that always seem to say the right things!!! I look at it as a new way of life. I will always want to better myself and that's a good thing. It keeps me grounded. It keeps me working towards a new goal. Hang in there...you look great and you have done a great job. This is the rest of your new life...use it well!! And give yourself a hug...you have earned it!!!

kashmyre · March 2013

Wow, it's like we're twins. I started at 230lbs and an 18-20. I'm down to a 6-8. I've lost over 80 lbs. I look fine in clothes, but every time I look in the mirror I only see what still needs to be worked on. When will I be happy? I obsessed way less when I was fat. I struggle with it every day. I totally understand where you are coming from. I take each day one at a time and try to say at least one nice thing to myself everyday. Some day I will begin to believe what I am saying...

Negative Body Image Since Losing Weight

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