Newlywed Spread?

Hey MFP friends!

I am about a month into my new marriage, and everything is going well, except I think I am getting too "fat and happy." Before I met my husband, I was a pretty good eater despite being overweight. However, I have noticed that over the last three years I have started to take on HIS eating habits instead of vice-versa, and it has only gotten worse since I moved in after the marriage!

Has anyone gone through this, and how did you start reclaiming your own eating habits?

For me, he is a fanatic about eating out. He was raised in a family that ate out nearly every meal (seriously.) I put my foot down yesterday and said that I am not eating out for an entire week (and I think I will continue this for a month once I set the tone for him.) So, that's my first step!

Replies

  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    I don't know your exact circumstances, but as a recent college graduate who is just starting a teaching career I'm going to assume that you don't have tons of extra cash. If this is the case - you can use financial health as yet another reason to persuade him. Go back over debit/credit card statements for the last month and add up all of the money spent eating out. Then show him how much less it would cost to prepare food at home to save money. By spending less on food you might find you have money to save for a house, car, vacations, furnishings, etc.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    Yes, it's normal for people in love to put on a little weight as they tend to celebrate their love with food. Good for you to recognize it!
  • Both my husband and I really got the newlywed spread but I noticed for him people did not really criticize the gain. It was more along the lines of 'oh your wife must be a good cook'. However for me it's "Are you pregnant" or "Letting yourself go now that you've got the ring, eh?"

    I'm working really hard to combat my weight gain and get back to my 'first date weight'.
  • bumblebums
    bumblebums Posts: 2,181 Member
    I like Dan Savage's take on this. You and your partner owe it to each other to stay in as good a physical shape as possible so that you do not lose sexual attraction to each other. Treating your body well is part of maintaining the marriage.
  • gloriann1
    gloriann1 Posts: 27 Member
    Bump
  • I definitely know about the newlywed spread. I got married in April weighing 143 lbs. Weighed 148 after my honeymoon (woops...all-inclusive!), and then moved to NYC and gained another 14 lbs between May-January. The combination of too many food options, trying too hard to be the perfect wife and cook delicious (unhealthy) meals, and working from home (snack central) really did me in. I'm trying to get back down to my wedding weight, but preferably between 135-140. It's really difficult to come up with healthy meals to eat! And the waffle iron we registered for is the arch nemesis of my diet. :)
  • kristinL16
    kristinL16 Posts: 401 Member
    I would approach it from a health (both physical and financial) point of view. Stick with the no eating out (or at least drastically reduce it) and talk about how you can make healthier choices at home. If you are going to have kids in the future, figuring this out and starting a healthy lifestyle now will be much easier than when you already have kids.

    Luckily, my husband goes along with whatever I want to make so I have most of the control over what we eat. However, I have a friend who has gained a large amount of weight since starting a new relationship a year and a half ago (they live together). She states that he is a picky eater and won't eat anything healthy. He also likes to eat out a lot. She does the cooking but gives in to what he wants to eat. I think there needs to be a balance. There are ways to make comfort foods more healthy.
  • penguinlibrarian
    penguinlibrarian Posts: 33 Member
    This happened to me too....trying to get my act together and shape back up. :-/
  • nikiswimr
    nikiswimr Posts: 150 Member
    This definitely happened to us. A lot of enjoying ourselves the first year of marriage = 15 lb weight gain EACH! We got it together, got back on MFP and now in our 3rd year of marriage we've both lost those 15 lbs and he's lost another 20 as well! We've signed up for a CSA box and now plan healthy meals in (with a nice glass of wine) instead of wasting all of the calories and $ on eating out all the time.
  • Annelies11
    Annelies11 Posts: 174 Member
    Happened to me! 15 lbs gain in about 6 months. Now, 3 years later, finally losing it :)
    I think I just needed to get to a point where I was just so unhappy about it, that I realized it was hurting out relationship because I didn't feel confident. He loves junk food, but wants to eat healthier and lose a few pounds too so we can motivate each other.