Fulfilling a father's wish

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boinkeee2000
boinkeee2000 Posts: 1
in Introduce Yourself
Hi folks,

My name is Erik, and I had my most heartbreaking event to date happen 3 weeks ago.... My father died of a heart attack, he was 69...He was a good man, and I wish I had a chance to say goodbye to him (our last conversation did not end well)...

He's been pretty overweight before and after he had his FIRST heart attack in '97, and also a heavy smoker...about 5 years ago he went on the subway diet and met his ideal weight in a year. He never felt better and told me I should try and lose some weight by any means to improve the quality of life. I never listen, although i have tried most of the diets conceived under the sun....

about a month ago we had a heart to heart talk, and somewhat predicting his fate was coming soon, He told me he wishes to see me the way i was in my 20s (im 38) with a lean physique and 60 lbs less (i am 223lbs now)....

That day he will never see, but that wish can still be granted by myself, in honor of him....We are taking his ashes back to our homeland (philippines) by early july. Thus I have over 3 months to get myself to my goal which is about 190lbs (I'm 5'8)

I am starting today and have prepared myself for this task at hand (signed up with a Gym, bought a nutribullet, have a list of all the healthy, low cal fast food fare) but i feel i am going to need a support system and good advise on my way to fulfilling my father's wish, My biggest problem is that when i stumble, i stay there and dont get back up....if i cheat, i lose all motivation the next day and continue my downward spiral......

I am resigned to doing this as I feel I owe it to him, and would really appreciate your kind words of encouragements and sound advise through it all...sorry if this is long winded, as this is probably the first time i expressed how i really feel, to strangers no less :) thanks for listening....:smile:
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Replies

  • cleoKatt
    cleoKatt Posts: 50 Member
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    Eric, I am so sorry about the loss of your father,...I think what you're doing to honor him, is wonderful. I wish you great success.
  • kimmynw1
    kimmynw1 Posts: 97 Member
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    Hi Eric,
    I feel your pain. I lost my Dad Dec. 30, 2012 to cancer. I have always been heavy (since grade school) and the only one in my family who is heavy. My Dad always wished that I knew what it felt like to be thin and healthy. Sadly he never will know that I am working on getting there FINALLY! 12 days ago I might the decision to change my lifestyle. I bought nicotine patches and a scale. So far I have not smoked and have lost 6 lbs. I am alot like you in the respect it used to be when I screwed up my diet once I was done. :sad:
    My determination now is so great I refuse to let that happen this time. I will screw up and I will forgive myself and continue on.
    When I find myself wanting to give up I "talk" to my Dad.
    I am sending you a friend request and perhaps we can help each other succeed. :smile:
    Take care and stay strong!
    Kim
  • cherylatkwechanged
    cherylatkwechanged Posts: 479 Member
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    Hi folks,

    My name is Erik, and I had my most heartbreaking event to date happen 3 weeks ago.... My father died of a heart attack, he was 69...He was a good man, and I wish I had a chance to say goodbye to him (our last conversation did not end well)...

    He's been pretty overweight before and after he had his FIRST heart attack in '97, and also a heavy smoker...about 5 years ago he went on the subway diet and met his ideal weight in a year. He never felt better and told me I should try and lose some weight by any means to improve the quality of life. I never listen, although i have tried most of the diets conceived under the sun....

    about a month ago we had a heart to heart talk, and somewhat predicting his fate was coming soon, He told me he wishes to see me the way i was in my 20s (im 38) with a lean physique and 60 lbs less (i am 223lbs now)....

    That day he will never see, but that wish can still be granted by myself, in honor of him....We are taking his ashes back to our homeland (philippines) by early july. Thus I have over 3 months to get myself to my goal which is about 190lbs (I'm 5'8)

    I am starting today and have prepared myself for this task at hand (signed up with a Gym, bought a nutribullet, have a list of all the healthy, low cal fast food fare) but i feel i am going to need a support system and good advise on my way to fulfilling my father's wish, My biggest problem is that when i stumble, i stay there and dont get back up....if i cheat, i lose all motivation the next day and continue my downward spiral......

    I am resigned to doing this as I feel I owe it to him, and would really appreciate your kind words of encouragements and sound advise through it all...sorry if this is long winded, as this is probably the first time i expressed how i really feel, to strangers no less :) thanks for listening....:smile:

    Thanks for sharing your story, firstly may I extend my thoughts and sorrow at the loss of your dad. I'm sure he will be very proud that you have come to this decision. I wish you all the best for your journey, I joined this group several weeks ago and my friends keep me going, this is truelly wonderful group to be part of. Plus if I need my *kitten* kicking they kick it lol and I can offer you the same x
  • farway
    farway Posts: 1,264 Member
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    Eric

    sorry for your loss

    I am the same age as your late father [I am 70 in April], best of wishes in your endevours

    One bit of "fatherly" advice, 5' 8 & 190 pounds for your goal is still overweight, I am two inches taller than you, & currently weigh 179 pounds, and am classified obese

    I suggest, politely,that you review you eventual goal weight
  • Docmahi
    Docmahi Posts: 1,603 Member
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    sorry about your loss brother

    Our stats are pretty similar only I started out much much heavier then you (pics in my profile)

    I am 5'9 and started at 257 (prolly was 270-280 at my highest) - so it can definitely be done, all about consistency - feel free to add
  • _Tara_R
    _Tara_R Posts: 688 Member
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    I am so sorry for you loss!!! (((((HUGS)))))

    You can do this!!! Stay strong!! I wish you great success!!
  • susanjosss
    susanjosss Posts: 5 Member
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    Sorry to hear about your Dad. I'm sure that he would be really proud of you that you have listened to the advice that he gave you and that you are making healthier choices. My mother died suddenly of an undiagnosed cancer on the 16th December (60) and my father died 10 years ago of a sudden heart attack (58). My advice is that try and take each day as it comes, I'm still in shock about my Mum and wish it was a terrible nightmare and that any minute I'll wake up. On top of dealing with the grief the reality is that life must go on. You need to stay strong for the rest of your family but make sure that you take time to deal with your feelings of loss and heartbreak. If you want to add me as a friend please feel free.
  • cinrn68
    cinrn68 Posts: 215 Member
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    So sorry for your loss. For his life to end suddenly without a chance to say goodbye cannot be easy. I'm glad to hear you want to honor him by doing this for yourself. I'm sure it would have made him very happy and proud to know that he somehow go through to you.

    Please don't beat yourself up along your journey. Take it one day at a time -- if you must, give yourself one "cheat" day per week at the beginning so that you do not feel so guilty for "falling". You have to make the changes that will fit into your life. I've tried so many times, with good intentions of course, to go all gung ho from day 1, but I think it just sets ourselves up for failure.

    Start with small things. Cut out soda. Cut out junk food. Think about your food choices more carefully. Will the junk food (or whatever your weaknesses are) really make you feel that good? Or will it just fill a quick void and then fill you with guilt afterwards. Those are the things I do now and I can honestly that I do not miss the junk food (chips especially for me) that I used to indulge myself and "reward" myself with!!

    If you need a friend here for encouragement, feel free to add me.
    Take care and good luck with your journey. Your Dad will be looking down on you and encouraging you every step of the way! :)
  • scadgirl20
    scadgirl20 Posts: 134 Member
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    I am sending you an invite. I'm sorry to hear about your dad as well. I personally think having a huge support does wonders for anyone. Anyone else on here please feel free to add me as well.
  • Blessed4x
    Blessed4x Posts: 20
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    So sorry for your loss. Through his memory you have the ability to succeed. Buckle down and do it. Keep us informed of your progress and keep your eyes on the prize.
  • BrenWOW
    BrenWOW Posts: 95
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    Eric,
    Sometimes it's easier telling strangers your problems. I'm sorry about your dad. I lost my mom when I was 25 and now my stepmother just had a heart attack 2 days ago( she's ok) Feel free to add me for support if you want, And keep sharing your feelings!
  • gregr072
    gregr072 Posts: 43 Member
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    Sorry for your loss, but honoring your father with life and health is awesome. Feel free to add me, I'm working on losing about 38 pounds right now and then I'm going to go from there. I was at 234 at my last weigh in and my goal weight is 198 for now. Feel free to add me if you want another buddy!
  • Docmahi
    Docmahi Posts: 1,603 Member
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    Eric

    sorry for your loss

    I am the same age as your late father [I am 70 in April], best of wishes in your endevours

    One bit of "fatherly" advice, 5' 8 & 190 pounds for your goal is still overweight, I am two inches taller than you, & currently weigh 179 pounds, and am classified obese

    I suggest, politely,that you review you eventual goal weight

    may need a new BMI calculator - 5'10/179 is not obese, I can't do the math off the top of my head but I think its probably at the upper end of normal or possibly 26 or so - its definitely not above 30
  • boomerz12
    boomerz12 Posts: 140
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    I'm really sorry about your father and it's great what you're doing, for yourself and for him.
    But I really do believe that he's still with you and he'll see your success.
    Good luck to you mate.
  • nberr
    nberr Posts: 29
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    Sorry for your loss but what a great reason to be here. Your goal date falls around mine so feel free to add me. As for your goal weight, sounds like a great target. Forget BMI if you lift even a bit.
  • Sweet_Gurl_Next_Door
    Sweet_Gurl_Next_Door Posts: 735 Member
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    Eric,

    I totally understand how it feels to lose your father. my dad died from brain cancer when I was 15 years old. I think it is fantastic how you want to honor and pay tribute to your dad I know he will be so proud of you. if you would like a friend to encourage you feel free to friend me.
  • Eaglesfanintn
    Eaglesfanintn Posts: 813 Member
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    Really sorry for your loss. My dad and I are really close and he's recovering from his own "cardiac event". He's a bit older than your father was (76), and I can't imagine my life without him.
    I'm sure he'd be proud to know that you're taking the talk you two had seriously and getting back in shape.
  • ScarletFyre
    ScarletFyre Posts: 754 Member
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    Eric, I am really sorry for your loss! You will find great support here! Adding you :flowerforyou:
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
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    Nothing would honor your father more...or be a gift to your own children...than for you to get healthy. And if you have a bad day (we all do), just brush it off and keep going. Sometimes when you have cravings you just have to feed them, reasonably, and that will let you move forward toward your goal. Good luck and do the best you can, for yourself most of all.
  • FitToFifty
    FitToFifty Posts: 164 Member
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    I am sorry for your loss Eric.

    I lost my dad 10 years ago. I look at his picture on the wall when I am running on the treadmill and I know that he would be proud of the changes I have made in my life.

    Good luck on your journey. Remember that even if you are not perfect today, tomorrow is a new day.

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