Can counting calories make you obsessive?

emmykeens
emmykeens Posts: 11
in Health and Weight Loss
I've been counting calories (on MFP and on another service that I left when I found MFP) for about a month now and I've noticed some weird things with myself. I've always had a bit of an obsessive personality, so this might just be a personal issue.

Basically, I'm wondering if this actually is a healthy thing for me to be doing mentally. Physically, it obviously is as it's a reminder for me to put in my gym time and makes me think about what I'm actually fueling my body with.

However, I'm starting to really get down on myself for certain things that on one hand, I know aren't all that big of a deal. Like, I feel a lot of guilt if I eat something caloric now, even if I still wind up under my daily goal. I get into this mental tailspin of "I shouldn't have eaten that, I shouldn't have eaten that, I shouldn't have eaten that." When someone asks me out to eat with them or out for drinks I have this mental frenzy of "what can actually eat/drink that won't undo my entire day/week?" and have a harder time just going out and having fun with my friends. I also find myself restricting my calorie intake more than what MFP has recommended I do regularly.

Also, the more I try to do good for my body, it seems the more I end up disliking it, nitpicking at myself, and wishing my body would change. I started this process because I was at a point in my life where I could honestly say I loved my body. I was content with it and okay with the fact that it wasn't perfect. I loved it because it was getting me where I wanted to go and it had done some amazing things with me. I thought I was ready to try out a lifestyle change because I was truly happy with myself in all aspects and wanted to start treating my body with the respect it deserves.

I honestly do want a healthier lifestyle, but I don't want to sacrifice my mental health and my generally positive body image for it. Is this an issue that anyone else deals with? How do you balance tracking calories with giving yourself the freedom to just be human and go out with friends?

Replies

  • chooselove
    chooselove Posts: 106 Member
    everyone wants to have a balance between the work (calorie counting, exercise) and play (being 'human'..lol). I say go out and have drinks, take a day off, whatever. moderation is key. Experiment with yourself and see what works. A few drinks probably won't affect you in the long run. The key to weight loss is consistency, so keep plugging along..Put out your best every day. Remember it's a lifestyle change, so you have to leave a little wiggle room to have some fun :) Don't guilt trip yourself.
  • chooselove
    chooselove Posts: 106 Member
    By the way, congrats on losing 11lbs already!
  • xjckemx
    xjckemx Posts: 95 Member
    I'm abit like you!! My husband thinks I'm obsessive logging everything and weighing stuff. But I said that's how easily you go over calories without noticing!! My friend also thinks I've lost it!! We were out the night for diner and wanted to the 3 course meal, but I had to check all my menu choices first in mfp to ensure I didn't go over. Then had to re choose to make them fit. But I ended up with 3 lovely courses all in goal so no guilt. She thought I was mental. I wake up thinking about what I'm gonna eat and often per log particularly if its naughty stuff like wine which I'll have tonight. But that shows me what I've got left!!! Yes I think it can be obsessive!! And don't get me started on how I think I look!!!
  • Justjamie0418
    Justjamie0418 Posts: 1,065 Member
    YES
    I become obsessive and don't eat my daily calorie goal, and for sure don't eat my exercise calories back. every little thing I think.. oh man that was x amount of calories wasted.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    if it wasn't calories it'd be something else? i think maybe a bit of therapy would do you the world of good. getting caught up in destructive thought patterns can turn almost anything toxic.
  • Tatiyanya
    Tatiyanya Posts: 255 Member
    / I / make myself obsessive, it just manifests in calories.

    Generaly don't get hung up on numbers, make sure you meet your goals/macros and treat the caloric calculator as a tool of control.
    Eat everything you want and if you go over - balance that with additional phisical activity :)

    For me the TOTAL CONTROL attitude works, cos am prone to all forms of OCD , but remember to have fun, to not restrict yourself from everything cos eventualy your mind will snap. Have fun with the diet and remember you are doing it for your health, both body and mind. What is one slip meal against changing your lifestyle for better and improving your wellbeing.

    PS. Its not that i cant type, its just rly early up in 'ere and I'm attempting to quit coffee >>
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
    I went to a clinic here to seek help for my food issues. I was doing things like hiding and eating, binging, obsessing... it was really havng negative effects on my life, let alone my health. My head was constantly full of thoughts about food (not about eating it necessarily but about how good/bad I was doing, what others were thinking of me, etc) to the point that I was just mentally exhausted by the end of the day. I had no clue which way to turn that would help me be successful. They strongly suggested not counting calories because I would totally obsess over them. I was to focus on timed eating (so meals/snacks every 2-3 hours without going over 3 hours without eating). Just by eating on a timed basis (with proper portions, not too small and not too big), it already cuts your calories down, especially if you're a grazer. It was either time to eat or it wasn't. It took all of the guess work out of it for me. Clearly there was a lot more help behind it and that goes along with the timing, but that was the strating point for me.

    If you really think you are obsessive over them then maybe it's not the best steps for you to take. I did cognitive behavior therapy, with group therapy, with help from a dietician all at this clinic and it wasn't until two years later that I felt in a good enough place, mentally to even try to calorie count. I've been on MFP for a year now and have foud that healthy balance in my mind with counting but not letting it get obsessive. If I go over or am under, I have no emotional knee-jerk reaction to that. It is what it is and tomorrow is another day. If you're not able to do that, then maybe this isn't for you.
  • saragregg
    saragregg Posts: 38 Member
    I was just thinking the same thing! But at the same time I was thinking to myself that I find myself on MFP more than facebook; but I think that is actually a good thing. It may be obssesive now, but in a way I think it's important because it teaches you how to eat in the long run(ie: a year from now if you stop logging in to MFP; you'll have a much better grasp on your nutrient intake). I think it's good to think of this as a whole lifestyle change that will benefit you for years to come. It's not just about calorie intake; it's about your protein, calcium, iron intake etc... Being able to know what your body needs and what you need to eat to keep all your nutrients in tact is a tool you can take away from this that will last you a life time.
    If you think of it this way...it's okay to be obsessive. ;)
  • emmykeens
    emmykeens Posts: 11
    @chooselove Thank you, that actually soothed a lot of the worry for me.

    For a little extra background, I grew up having an eating disordered family member who went from being larger than I ever have been to 65 pounds at 5'6. That's the last thing I want for myself. That experience, combined with the therapy I've already had, is why I'm almost hyperaware of negative self talk and any kind of unhealthy mental state I might be putting myself into. I know I'm as ready as I can be to make positive changes, I just have to retrain myself and keep a solid hold of the positivity/self love I've gained in the past.
  • jackiecamarena
    jackiecamarena Posts: 290 Member
    SO. MUCH. THIS.
    I actually realized this at the end of last week, so this week I decided to make myself eat "non-diet" food. I was getting in the routine of eating the same exact healthy food items everyday and getting stressed out over the things I couldn't eat to the point where it was almost compulsive. I took a step and realized I was setting myself up for a yo-yo diet by being so restrictive and obsessive. I knew that if I kept in that same mindset, I would not be able to continue this as a lifestyle change forever. So, this week when my friends invited me to hang out, I went. I ate whatever I wanted (within reasonable portions, of course), I had a drink or two, I had a little bit of ice cream, and it was awesome. I still managed to stay in my calorie limit and still lost weight. It wasn't the end of the world like I thought it was going to be.
  • emmykeens
    emmykeens Posts: 11
    Thattttt is totally what I needed to hear.
  • benol1
    benol1 Posts: 867 Member
    I don't think calorie counting makes one obsessive. Some people who have obsessive tendencies who do count calories get obsessed with...counting calories.
    It might be healthier for you to widen your focus to make sustainable changes to your lifestyle inc. eating a healthy balanced diet (that you are not dogmatic about maintaining every single day), regular high-intensity cardio and strength-based exercises, good sleep hygiene and maintaining important relationships. By all means continue to count calories in and out but avoid the scales. The real benefits will be greater health and happiness. Weight loss will occur but it will happen in its own time and should be considered as a welcome by-product. This is the way I have been approaching my lifestyle change and its why I recommend it.
    kind regards,

    Ben
  • squinz
    squinz Posts: 136
    Yes, I do think I can become obsessive. Particularly when I have gained weight as I did last week. Generally though, I do eat what I want but will worry about it and have got in the habit of feeling guilty about certain foods.

    Not sure what the answer is. I never calorie counted until 3 months ago but still managed to lose weight (albeit slower). I have been on MFP for just over 3 months and have lost weight (and gained) at a quicker pace.
  • stepheatscake
    stepheatscake Posts: 167 Member
    Fat talking is when we say horrible things to/about our own body such as, "I'm so fat", "I'm so ugly", "My bum is so huge", "I look disgusting", etc. You would never say anything so belittling to another person and yet how often do you say things like this to/about yourself? We are in constant communication with ourselves and the things we say we tend to believe. If someone else were continually telling you how fat you are, you would eventually start believing them, right? The same happens when you are the one doing the "fat talking". After awhile, you will believe what you're saying to yourself and it will become truth. I used to belittle myself and say horrible mean things to myself while looking in a mirror or trying to squeeze into a size-to-small pair of jeans. This kind of behavior always left me feeling depressed and hateful toward myself, which in most cases would then lead to a food binge in attempts to drown out my pain. Realizing that no one can control my thoughts except for me has been a huge blessing. I am the only one who can decide what I want to think about or what I will tell myself in my mind. It makes sense then to speak to myself in such a way that is uplifting and encouraging. When I tell myself that I am beautiful and happy, eventually I will believe it. And I do!! I am constantly telling myself uplifting words. Even if they're not necessarily true. No, I'll never have a model body type, but who cares? I can tell myself I look fabulous and keep my head up high, believing that I am just as good as any woman out there who does happen to have a perfect model body. A little saying I have is "Say it til it's true". When I tell myself that my body is beautiful and I say it over and over in my mind, guess what? I become a beautiful, self confidant, happy woman, even without having a model type body. It is much easier to eat 0-5 when I'm doing it just for me. Not because I want to look skinnier than my neighbor or be more beautiful than my coworker or get attention from the hot guy who works at the mall.
  • yuckidah
    yuckidah Posts: 290 Member
    YES
    I become obsessive and don't eat my daily calorie goal, and for sure don't eat my exercise calories back. every little thing I think.. oh man that was x amount of calories wasted.

    ^ I am just the same :flowerforyou:
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    I have my moments. Like, when I walk into a restaurant, I already know what I'm going to eat and how many calories it has. I usually pre-log, then tinker with my log all day, according to what I actually eat.
  • lvtruu1
    lvtruu1 Posts: 211 Member
    I'm abit like you!! My husband thinks I'm obsessive logging everything and weighing stuff. But I said that's how easily you go over calories without noticing!! My friend also thinks I've lost it!! We were out the night for diner and wanted to the 3 course meal, but I had to check all my menu choices first in mfp to ensure I didn't go over. Then had to re choose to make them fit. But I ended up with 3 lovely courses all in goal so no guilt. She thought I was mental. I wake up thinking about what I'm gonna eat and often per log particularly if its naughty stuff like wine which I'll have tonight. But that shows me what I've got left!!! Yes I think it can be obsessive!! And don't get me started on how I think I look!!!

    You should do this before you get to the restaurant. Do not burden others with it. Take the time to look it up before going have a few option before arriving. It will make the evening more enjoyable for everyone. People won't think you are nuts or feel self conscious about what they eat. Eventually your friends may not be so quick to dine with you otherwise.

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