New and need motivation :)

Hello My name is Ciara. I recently decided its time to get my life in order and finally lose the weight I've been carrying. I am 5ft 3in and currently weigh 148 lbs .... I'm personally discusted with myself. So the reason I am coming and asking everyone for help is because I am recovering from an eating disorder. Five years ago i was diagnosed with bulimia and a recent trip to the hospital made me realize things need to change. Most people don't understand the mental torment I go through when I eat so thats why I need help! Please, if you think you can motivate me and help keep me on track please do! I do NOT want to relapse again. Thanks in advance guys ♥