St. Patrick's Day Question

LMT2012
LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
in Chit-Chat
I am having a rather large party for St. Pat's and would love it if you have a favorite Irish joke, saying, prayer, fact etc to share. The plan is to post them around the place as conversation starters.
thanks :drinker:

Replies

  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    bump. Come on. No Leprachauns out there??
  • jstaff14
    jstaff14 Posts: 34
    Slainte
  • Cognito1025
    Cognito1025 Posts: 323 Member
    “Here's to a long life, and a merry one; a quick death, and an easy one; a pretty girl, and an honest one; a cold beer - and another one!”
  • Cognito1025
    Cognito1025 Posts: 323 Member
    Here's to a long life and a merry one
    A quick death and an easy one
    A pretty girl and an honest one
    A cold beer and another one!
  • Cognito1025
    Cognito1025 Posts: 323 Member
    We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.

    -Winston Churchill
  • Cognito1025
    Cognito1025 Posts: 323 Member
    There are only two kinds of people in the world,
    The Irish, and those who wish they were.
    If you're enough lucky to be Irish...
    You're lucky enough!
  • jstaff14
    jstaff14 Posts: 34
    A couple more:

    "If you cheat, may you cheat death.
    If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
    If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
    And if you drink, may you drink with me."

    Beannachtam na Femle Padraig - "Happy St. Patrick's Day!"
  • DesignGrrl
    DesignGrrl Posts: 147 Member
    Clover fun facts:

    According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the highest number of leaves found on a clover is 14.

    One estimate suggests that there are about 10,000 regular three-leaf clovers for every lucky four-leaf clover.

    Legend says that each leaf of the clover means something: the first is for hope, the second for faith, the third for love and the fourth for luck.
  • MsDover
    MsDover Posts: 395 Member
    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." William Butler Yeats
  • blink1021
    blink1021 Posts: 1,115 Member
    here is a fun fact we had friends of ours who decided it would be fun to go to Ireland for St. Patricks Day one year and they went all the way over there to find out that they do not celebrate St. Patricks Day. They were disappointed.
  • Thechiplover
    Thechiplover Posts: 118
    What's the difference between God and Bono?
    God doesn't wander around Dublin thinking he's Bono.

    Two Irishmen walking past a Police Station.
    A big poster at the front reads "Two Blackmen wanted for rape!"
    Paddy turns to Mick and says "Dem Fokkers always get the best jobs".

    Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
    Paddy says, "Are you on foot or in the car?"
    Billy says, "In the car."
    Paddy says, "That's the quickest way."

    Paddy & Mick are walking down the road and Paddy's got a bag of doughnuts in his hand.
    Paddy says to Mick, "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, You can have them both"
  • Cognito1025
    Cognito1025 Posts: 323 Member
    Do you know why the Scottish wear kilts?

    Because the sheep would hear their zipper.
    ___________________________________________________________________________________________

    A Scotsman and a Jew went to a restaurant. After a hearty meal, the waitress came by with the inevitable check. To the amazement of all, the Scotsman was heard to say, "I'll pay it!", and he actually did.

    The next morning's newspaper carried the news item:

    "JEWISH VENTRILOQUIST FOUND MURDERED IN BLIND ALLEY".

    ______________________________________________________________________________________________

    What do you call a Scottish highlander with four sheep ?

    A pimp.
    ______________________________________________________________________________________________

    The Scottsman comes to his friend in tears.

    "My beautiful comb. I broke a tooth on it an now I can't use it anymore. What am I going to do? Now I'll have to buy another one."

    "Well," said his friend, "you don't need to buy another just because you lost one tooth on your comb."

    "But you don't understand.

    It was the last tooth."
  • EponaBlue
    EponaBlue Posts: 96 Member
    May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes and rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.
  • aszwarc
    aszwarc Posts: 200 Member
    What's green and lives in the backyard?
    Paddy O'Furniture
  • Danger2OneSelf
    Danger2OneSelf Posts: 883 Member
    Here's a good one for this site:

    Only Irish coffee provides all main essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
  • Danger2OneSelf
    Danger2OneSelf Posts: 883 Member
    God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.

    Irish Alzheimer's ....you forget everything except the grudges.
  • winterswish
    winterswish Posts: 162
    You can never kiss an Irish girl unexpectedly, only sooner than she thought.
  • mahirob
    mahirob Posts: 35
    Two easy lessons in learning how to teach the Irish gig...1.serve alcohol, 2. lock toilet doors..
  • beckyboop712
    beckyboop712 Posts: 383 Member
    As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong direction
  • lkm111
    lkm111 Posts: 629 Member
    Irish Blessing

    May the road rise up to meet you; may the wind be always at your back,
    may the sun shine warm upon your face, and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
    Until we meet again, my friend, until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

    Listen to this version at minute 4:35. Visual is awful, the audio is beautiful! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ty8aKVFPgEE

    If it doesn't load correctly, it is St. Olaf Choir singing "Blessing" by Katie Moran Bart. A magical arrangement!
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    Thanks to all who posted so far. These are great!!
  • oldernotwiser
    oldernotwiser Posts: 175 Member
    May you be in Heaven a half an hour before the Devil knows you're dead.
  • Ant___
    Ant___ Posts: 38 Member
    Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days.

    Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, "where were you?".

    God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds; "look son, look what I'm after making".
    Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "what is it?"
    God replied, "it's another planet but I'm after putting LIFE on it. I've named it Earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it.
    For example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be rich and south America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them - that's going to be a hot spot.

    Now look over here. I've put a continent of whites in the north and another one of other races in the south.

    And then the archangel said, "and what's that green dot there?". And God said "ahhh that's the Emerald Isle - that's a very special place.
    That's going to be the most glorious spot on earth; Beautiful Mountains, lakes, rivers, streams, and an exquisite coast line. These people here are going to be great craic and they're going to be found traveling the world.
    They'll be playwrights and poets and singers and songwriters,And I'm going to give them this black liquid which they're going to go mad on and for which people will come from the far corners of the earth to imbibe.

    Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and admiration but then seeming startled proclaimed: "Hold on a second, what about the BALANCE, you said there was going to be a balance..

    God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the b*stards i'm putting nextdoor ;)"

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