I'm tried of my weight dictating every action I take.

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bl4ckj
bl4ckj Posts: 2
in Introduce Yourself
Hi. I'm here to introduce myself.

I'm 20 and what fat through-out my entire life. I hated it but never did anything about it. I'm now 230 pounds. Being this fat made me depressed, severely anxious, and mildly agoraphobic..I'm scared I'll never get a job, go to school, or make a life for myself until I get this weight down. It's like I cant start life until I become thin and pretty like everyone else. I feel worthless everyday.

The most difficult part is my sugar/junk food addiction. I don't really eat anything besides sugar and junk food. I don't remember the last time I ate a fruit or a vegetable. I barely eat meat. And drink gallons of kool-aid and soda.

Exercise for me is nonexistent for me now. I used to run when I was 200 pounds but this guy commented on how fat I was and shattered my self-esteem I never started back again. I dream about going swimming, roller skating, jump roping, rock climbing, taking hikes, and not getting embarrassed/fearful when going outside.

I'm tired of letting my weight dictate every action I take. I'm tried of vomiting/binging every time I look in the mirror because I hate how I look.

I'm making a commitment today to finally lose weight and get healthier but weight is my main goal. I hope I make it.

Nice to meet everyone and sorry about the long story.

Replies

  • mdepko
    mdepko Posts: 283 Member
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    If you are truly committed to this and want support, and motivation (good and bad) feel free to add me. If you continue on the path you are on, you are going to continue to gain. You have to start making healthier choices now. Trust me, as the weight comes off, no matter how slow or fast, you will start feeling better about yourself. One thing I always try to remember is that we are responsible for ourselves, no one else is. If we choose to make bad choices, bad things happen. If we choose to make good choices good things happen, sounds simple because it is. The first step is always the hardest, you have to step on the scale and face reality, and then you have truly decide to do something about it. I know I'm a lot older than you, but I would love to help.
  • RemiLynn79
    RemiLynn79 Posts: 81 Member
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    Hello and welcome! I am the same way. Depressed about how I look and I won't go out and exercise because I feel like everyone is staring at me and judging me.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
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    I highly recommend reading Forks Over Knives.
    You are welcom to add me as a friend so you can see what i do to lose weight. But be warned I am bluntly upfront and honest in my opinions and suggestions. I expect that you will work hard and be diligent in you efforts.

    It is not an easy journey and should be thought of as a "lifestyle" change.
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
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    It sucks when you put your life on hold because of the weight. I struggle with this too, and it's a big part of the reason that I'm here, trying to do something about it. I do my best to live a full life despite the way I feel, but the weight still holds me back in a lot of ways. I have a lot of anxiety about all the time I've wasted being overweight and out of shape.

    All we can do is move forward and do better. Imagine what it will feel like to not be held hostage by fat! I love to read the success stories on here- if they can do it, there's no reason I can't. And that's true for you too!
  • sPaRkLiNgLYFE
    sPaRkLiNgLYFE Posts: 609
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    congratulations on your new beginning, and good luck
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
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    I used to run when I was 200 pounds but this guy commented on how fat I was and shattered my self-esteem I never started back again.

    just wanted to share this link with you...
    http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html
  • saydrin
    saydrin Posts: 5
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    I was in the same position as you a little under 10 months ago but with steady dedication and a healthy lifestyle change, you can make a difference in yourself and see the change with time! I wish you luck! <3
  • mary1028
    mary1028 Posts: 28 Member
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    We are our own worst enemy. I have lost a lot of friends over the years because of my weight. It was not because they shut me out but because I was so embarrassed by my weight I pull away from being with them. Even the best of friends get tried of trying to pull you out of the house after a while. It took me years to realize what I was doing. Once I decided to enjoy life and push past my insanity, I did start enjoying life and the weight became easier to deal with. It is not easy and it is not a straight path - it is just worth it. It is worth it.

    I just wish I had started at your age and not waited so long. But all we all have is today and all we have to lose is the next lb.
    Welcome - I hope you can find what you need both here and inside of yourself. Feel free to add me as a friend if you wish.
  • sunita1982
    sunita1982 Posts: 13
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    First want to give you an online HUG...Im new to the site, and weight in about 230 as well. I understand what you mean, its the first thing I think about when I wake up, look in the mirror and it follows me all day. The first thing is self love...you have to be doing this because you love your self, not because someone called you fat or what models look like...Just like you said you want to do so many things that will become easyer as you lose weight. Second is doing it to be health, not thin...I have been on every diet you can think of, I even had an eating disorder over 10 years ago where I because scary thin but still hated my self and that was my biggest mistake I was doing it for the wrong reason....So Welcome to the site and if your looking for a support buddy please add me.
  • mary1028
    mary1028 Posts: 28 Member
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    You make such a good point. There were a couple of times in my life when I was at a good weight and looked pretty good. I never knew it. I always thought I was fat. It was not until I had gain weight again and was looking at pictures of myself. I could not believe I had been that thin!!!! Our self image is half the battle.
  • bl4ckj
    bl4ckj Posts: 2
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    Thank you guys so much I don't know what so say really. I'm crying over here from-all the support you guys give.
  • WaterBunnie
    WaterBunnie Posts: 1,370 Member
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    Don't label yourself as a sugar/junk food addict until you have tried healthy eating - it's probably not an addiction at all and once you find foods you like you'll be happy limiting the crap.

    I'm still in the 290s and I swim regularly. Don't think about what people might be thinking, find exercise you like and do it for yourself and the more you do it and the more you lose the less you will care what they are thinking!!

    Now is the time... good luck with it :-)
  • YourGirl_Tina
    YourGirl_Tina Posts: 962 Member
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    All I can think to say is "Please don't let life slip away from you" I know all to well "waiting" till you are skinny to do something... I beg you please try to change this mind set. No one knows what are lives are gonna be like, we could not wake up tomorrow and then miss out on life.... And you do not want to regret that! Do the best you can, with what you have.... and if someone tells you that you "can't" do it, have it, or what ever.... Flip them the bird and say just watch me....
  • Markguns
    Markguns Posts: 554 Member
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    Yoda: No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.... :bigsmile: Well first work on that Drink a gallon of sugary drinks everyday, that is a killer. Start switching over to teas and water. Maybe use artificial sweeteners to get you over the big hump. To site another quote; Slow n Steady wins the race! Welcome aboard. I was 220 last spring trying to lose, and then fell off a cliff! I went to 265. I am now back to 235 and working it off. If I can at my age, you can! : wink:

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