Struggle with spouse not on same page

Same here. My husband is very supportive. He won't excercise with me at all. He has a very physical job (construction type) so my goal was to get him on board with the diet aspect. So after about 2 months of me being on MFP we set up an account for him too. We've put his goal in with NO excercise. It's only been a few days however he's being a trooper and is going along with portion size etc. Hopefully, he'll stay on board however since I do the bulk of the cooking and food shopping he doesn't have a choice to a certain extent

Yes, I finally got my husband to go to one of those health fairs. His bad cholesterol came back very high. He also doesn't have enough calcium in his body. He is getting a little rounder in the stomach area, so I encourage him to make wiser choices. He eats what I cook, so he eats healthy when he is a home, now when he is away from home that is entirely a different story. I just brag about making good life choices and how I would like him to be around when we retire. It also helps that cancer runs in his family deeply and alot of his family has it; therefore, I research herbs and things to help them. He is very supportive of this. I think he cares about his health but doesn't want me to know it. Just show him the love and brag on how great you feel. It is catching. Good luck to you.


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I have had similar issues with my husband. He encourages me to lose the weight because he know it is what I want and plus it will hopefully eliminate some of my health issues. He encourages me to buy healthy foods but then turns around and buys doughnuts and other junk foods for himself and my kids. I don't think he realizes how hard it is to pass up those temptations when they are in the house. He also tells me to wait to go on my walks so that he can go with me. Then when he gets home he is too tired to go or just doesn't feel like it.

I've learned to just do things without him. I take my walks during the day with my boys and if by chance my husband feels like walking when he gets home I just get an extra workout which benefits me and if we don't walk I've already done my exercise for the day anyway. I still have a tough time with the food temptations but I've found it helps for me to plan out all of my meals for the day and if I can't spare the extra calories I can stay away from the junk food easier, plus if I am not hungry throught the day I can better control my cravings and stay away from the junk food.

I'm struggling with it myself. My husband has gained at least 50 lbs in the past two years. I'm 20 lbs heavier than I was when we met 6 years ago, but I've had two children in that time. After gaining 15 lbs in the three months after my son was born, I decided to hop on the fitness train, but Hubby is less than supportive. He gripes about healthy meals, doesn't want to eat veggies, and I'm pretty sure he thinks salads were created by the devil. I want to be thin and sexy again for me, but I want both of us to be healthy and the weight he is at is NOT healthy plus if you think of a genetically linked health problem... its probably in his family, heart troubles, cholestrol, cancers, but it's hard to get him to eat right without scolding him like he's a toddler or seeming judgmental (eat your veggies, they're good for you!... Do you really need the extra large value meal with an extra sandwich?), and at this point in time, I'm fairly certain I'll lose him before he's 50 due to his lifestyle. I wish I knew how to motivate him, and get on us on the same page. I even told him if he went to the doctor and got a clean bill of health, I'd stop pushing the healthy food at dinner time and go back to frying everything like I used to, but he won't even do that. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Mine is not only his heaviest, inactive, etc, but he also brings home junk all the time and then even tries to make me eat it. He knows I like cookies so he piles 3 oreos in front of me and says here's some cookies eat them! I say I dont want them and he says yes you do and puts 5 more on the pile. I withheld and put them back away after he left, but he'll bring home some things (say ice cream) that i will eat. He goes on healthy eating plans - and they last about 1 afternoon until he is back in the fast food. Then he gets the double whammy of a *$%&C& wife because he is not only spending $ we don't have on fast food and junk food , but also not being that supportive of me (he'll go through a whole bag of chips in one sitting and that's dinner- I fend for myself with some tuna or something).

My hubby is supportive, but he is very skinny!!!!! He wants to gain weight. So he orders fattening stuff or has it around. Its irritating when I am trying to lose!!! GHRRRRRR

I'm in the same boat as you girlfriend! If anything, my husband would want to gain weight, but no matter what he eats he can't!! I usually only slip up with my eating when we eat dinner together because I'm like oo a slice of pizza..why the hell not? and you know how the rest goes..grrr! Very frustrating!!

Same here. My husband also has a physical job. I did log in his food on here one day to show him what he was eating (unfortunately for that, it was a good day for him so I didn't prove my point!).

Right now, he is in much better shape than I, physically (although I must say that we both had bloodwork done about 6 months ago for a life insurance physical and MINE WAS BETTER -- except the weight of course). He needs to lose maybe 35 pounds... I need to lose over 100.

I used to make comments about how bad he was eating. Now... I ignore it, for the most part. The unfortunate fact is that he is a man and has 9" of height on me. He can afford to make worse choices than I can and gets more "play room" in his eating. All I can do is control what food comes into our house... and I do! I do the meal planning, grocery shopping, and most of the cooking. We hardly ever eat out. Cookies, cakes, sodas, and even most juice at this point don't enter our house unless I am baking to take somewhere else. So... most of what he has to pick from here is pretty healthy. All I am hoping for at this point is that watching me make some changes and hopefully losing some weight (please, please, please!) and eventually getting to the weight I was when we got married (!) will motivate him at some point in the next few years to make some changes as well.

I do!

I totally relate. My hubby and I both got to be at our heaviest at the time...which was ironically about 5 pounds of eachother (not so flattering for me as there is a 6 inch discrepancy in our height). He has always been of the frame of mind of "do what I want now, the rest doesn't matter." I totally succumbed to his habits when we first moved in together and I found that quickly developed a sweet tooth and everything I had known for 25 years seemed to not matter anymore. I began to crave the junkfood he ate and I would match my portions to his. We both started to lose weight (me actually trying, he just by looking at a scale it seems). Right now I am eclipsing him in terms of health because I have just changed my life around and have lost 5 dress sizes since we were the same weight years ago. Now he says he wants to eat healthier and get organic food and cook more...but he just has no motivation. He's starting running a bit lately since I've been doing races, even though for years he just complains about how much he hates running and therefore refuses to do it.

He says he wants to eat better and be healthier, but then he still makes himself a frozen pizza or orders cheeseballs at a restaurant. All of this week he has been eating cake for breakfast. And he is not a fat guy, he's just a normal guy with atrocious habits! I try leading by example, but then I think he starts to feel guilty or just truly doesn't know what to do. I am now at the point where I am just rising above rather than sinking into his cravings. He is such a picky eater that he's nearly impossible to cook for, so we have our meals separately anyway. I think he wants to change his lifestyle, he just doesn't want to actually have to do anything to change it.

I have been able to incorporate some more fresh fruit into his diet and he has even become fond of my veggie patties (which is saying a lot for a man who breathes meat, cheese, and potatoes). I just don't see him really getting on board because he would have to give up potentially everything he loves. It's really a mental journey and I don't think he is ready for it. When I am able to influence him, I can....but when he is on his own I know he will just continue to revert to old habits out of laziness (which he has confirmed). It scares me a bit, because between an unhealthy diet, rarely really exercising, drinking, and dangerous hobbies.....we both fear he won't live long past middle age. And that's a damn shame since so much of that is decison-based and very preventable. I thought he would have come around a bit when I almost died and was in the hosptial, but he's becoming an old dog who doesn't want to learn any new drinks. :ohwell:

I have that same issue. My husband is losing weight a little but could be more if he would change some of the things he eats. He eats healthy along with me some of the times but he still wants to eat a lot of sweets and drinks that are not healthy and of course if its in the house the kids want some too. And he knows its hard for me and he will buy me things that he know I don't need to eat and he knows I won't turn it down. But I fix that by not eating all of what he buys at one time. It's a struggle.

I equate this to quitting smoking, which I did 3 years ago. I can tell you from personal experience that I was never motivated when someone wanted me to do it or asked me to quit for my health. It had to be from me and for me and only me. My spouse NEVER EVER asked me to quit and never gave me grief for smoking. He is not nor ever was a smoker. He loved me whether I smoked or not. So, in the end I quite for me. The same with my weight loss and fitness goals....they are for me. He is very supportive of my goals but if I slip up, or miss a gym date or run date or eat cake....no matter what it is, he is not there to scold me or remind me about it. I love him so much for this! I share with him about what I have learned as far as nutrition and metabolism and so on. But, I know that when I and if I get mad at him, I will not be reaching for cookies just because I know it would bug him because what I eat is not an issue for him.

Does that make sense?