Please help me stick at it :-(

Kaylee_law_123 · March 2013

Hi everyone,

I've been on this site about a year, in that time I have lost about 30lbs, and then put about 20lbs back on, and now I feel like I'm destined for failure, because I couldn't keep the weight off the first time, then why would I be able to this time?

I got caught up in the glamour of my weight loss, suddenly I had all this confidence and I went out and enjoyed myself, indulging in night out drinking, fancy dinners out etc. I also met my boyfriend, who at 6'7" can pretty much eat what he wants and it never shows up on him! He also used to be a chef, and so he spent many nights cooking me large fancy meals, and I lapped it up.

Now I hate what I see in the mirror once again, I'm slowly leaning back to my fat clothes and can't seem to keep myself going. My boyfriend hates that I have no confidence anymore, that I hide myself from him. We're even having a heatwave here and I couldn't bear the thought of going swimming with him. I know he loves me for who I am, and he doesn't want the "skinny" me, he wants the confident me, I just don't know where to find her!

I guess I'm looking for anyone out there who has gone through similar and gotten through it!

Thanks x x

amann1976 · March 2013

your motivation has to come from within nothing nobody else can say or has been through can inspire you.

Kaylee_law_123 · March 2013

I know it has to come from me, I just would like to know there's others out there that have gone through similar and gotten through it.

Thanks :-)

ikudbne12 · March 2013

I have been there a few times in my lifetime... lately i look at the foods i know i shouldn't eat in unhealthy amounts that i know will taste sinfully wonderful and think...in a month when i am dressing for that party, or shopping for that swimsuit i am not going to remember how these brownies taste!! I am only going to know i am disappointing myself for not having worked my hardest to get in the best healthy shape i can! Somehow it makes turning down that slice of cake a bit easier when i look at it from that perspective. I am by no means saying you never should have things you enjoy but now i am much more likely to search for healthy alternatives or plan my days activities and menu around having that slice of pizza with my friends at dinner. Hope this helps! Good luck and know you are never alone around here!!

Crochetluvr · March 2013

The last time I lost weight, I felt the same way as you....I had a lot of confidence and was very happy. Then I met my b/f...who liked to go out to dinner. And I thought I could handle it. More fool I. I gained 40 pounds.

He told me he didn't care....that he loved me no matter WHAT size I was. But I knew deep down he wished I were thinner if for no other reason than to be healthy, which I wasn't. I had developed diabetes and I was in denial. I finally hit bottom and was determined to get my that confident, light person back. I have lost those 40 pounds and 7 besides.....and still going.

But I have had to make peace with food. I have had to learn to live with it, not shut it out of my life. I eat almost everything I used to....but in moderation and not every day. The only thing I haven't had in these 10 months is a Coke. Everything else is pretty much fair game.

And so I don't tempt fate, I have been giving away all my fat clothes so I can't lean on them again. I will stay thin or be naked.

gracetoo · March 2013

I've bounced back and forth all my life. But it was usually gain, gain, gain lose a little, gain it back and then some.
My biggest loss before now was to get into a non plus size wedding dress, it seems like as soon as I got that goal I lost sight of the fact that staying at a healthy weight isn't a sprint, but a marathon.
I've changed my lifestyle and what we as a family eat. I got rid of the clothes that were too big for me with the mentality that I will never wear them again. You know your partner is there for you no matter what, but the confidence, the happiness and the feeling that you aren't being stared at are all worth their weight in gold when you leave your house in a pair of jeans you'd never think would do up, let alone look great.
I have been in a funk lately after a kidless weekend away, but I am shaking it up and getting back into it. I think the big thing is not allowing yourself to fall into the trap of "Oh well, I screwed up anyhow, I might as well eat everything", but when you do stumble and have a treat, it isn't something you can't recover from. Wake up the next morning with a renewed dedication to yourself.
Feel free to add me if you want!

luckyjuls · March 2013

What kind of diet were you following before? Was it strict and limiting? I think if it was, your new goal should be everything in moderation. Nothing drastically taken out that you will want later and over indulge in for months at a time once you've allowed it again.

It will certainly take an altered menu in comparison to your boyfriend, as men can eat double that of women. But it can be done.

You can do this. The only person standing in your way is you.

Domt57 · March 2013

I definately went through that!
I went from 181 (2008) to 135 (2010) in two years without with continuous effort, then I got a job and a boyfriend, stopped making time for exercise and began eating out more than I should have. Its now 2013 and Im back at 162. Its horrible. I recently moved to a place where being outdoors is a lifestyle. DO NOT GIVE UP. Start over and make it your LIFE! now until forever. it is so worth it. Try and remember how good you felt when you lost that weight, and do everything in your power to get that bod back. I am here if you ever need support.

My name is Dominique by the way(:

Kaylee_law_123 · March 2013

Thanks for everyone's words, it really helps,

It's so nice to know that I'm not alone in this :-)

Please help me stick at it :-(

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