Getting over myself

tldillard3
tldillard3 Posts: 14 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So... I've been on here for about a month or two. I find that some days I'm ok. I do pretty good with keeping track of what i'm eating and what not. Other (Most) days I'm hiding what I eat so that I don't have to SEE that I of course went over. Any others had to deal with this?

I've been overweight since the 5th grade. Never been in great shape. Have always over eaten. Now, I want to lose weight but am in school, work 40 hours a week, and go to church. It's one thing to say you want to lose weight and work out it's another thing to actually do it. With all of the work and school I rarely see my kids (6 yr old, 3 yr old, 7 mth old).

So my point/question is, again, if anyone else had to deal with this??? What did you end up doing?

Replies

  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    90% of your weight loss will be your diet which has nothing to do with how busy you are. Exercise is great but you don't need to do it in order to lose.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Not logging or "hiding" what you are eating hurts nobody but yourself. You have to WANT to do this and to be accountable, or else it won't work.
  • 4_Lisa
    4_Lisa Posts: 362 Member
    Once it becomes a true priority and you are completely ready to lose weight, you will find a way to balance it all. The "i don't have time" is an excuse that many have used until the timing is 'right'

    and I agree with above posts, you need to hold yourself accountable, and diet is not time consuming. I used to think that cooking and meal planning took a really long time and I didn't have time for it either. But it is now a priority so that I can control what I put in my body.
  • daniellemm1
    daniellemm1 Posts: 465 Member
    First thing is to stop lying to yourself about what you are eating. Go ahead and lie to anyone else but not to yourself. Logging your food honestly will help you to learn how big a serving really is and how many calories are in a serving, also learning how much exercise it takes to burn off those calories. It truly is a learning process to gather the health/exercise information and figure out what will work for you. It is a little trial and error game.

    Logging on here and talking to and reading other's success stores and even their struggles is a great inspiration and support during this difficult journey. I'm only 20lbs down with probably 70-100 to go so I totally get where you are. Stop lying to yourself and become your biggest fan!!! We can do this. You can do this.:flowerforyou:
  • Micheetah
    Micheetah Posts: 184 Member
    agreed about calorie intake, if you can just take it day by day and log everything to keep accountability, it will get easier. It starts off mentally challenging and will piss u off at times, BUT it does get easier and to me even becomes a game that I have to win. I still slack off but the point is you keep trying. exercise when you can, start off with walking 2x a week even, take the kids and that way ur spending time with them. My 8 yr old loves going on walks with me. It starts in the kitchen, not everyone has to exercise to lose. Another big thing that helps me is meal planning ahead and sticking to it. When I dont plan ahead, it gets whacky.
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
    Quite honestly, it seems like you just need a plan. Maintain a calorie deficit by eating a reasonable amount of food. You'll likely find the entire process easier and more enjoyable if you incorporate some exercise. Come up with a simple workout program that variously incorporates the 7 basic human movements: push, pull, bend, squat, twist, gait (walk/run etc.), and lunge. Do whatever you can and be guided by your judgement.

    Herschel Walker was heavy up until he was 15. He started doing some push-ups and the rest is history.
  • Kaylaef
    Kaylaef Posts: 194 Member
    I don't have a child. But I do have a disability, and work 50 hrs a week. I live with multiple sceloris which often makes its super tough to be as active as I would like. I really try to avoid not logging, but sometimes I bet I underestimate how much food I eat. Especially when I am cooking. I really try to log as much as possible. I tend to allow myself a cheat day, because it helps me stay on track, because I am not denying myself the things I love (such as wine). My major success, is really planning my meals a head of time. I get up about a 1/2 hour earlier, I make myself some hard boiled eggs, cut up some fresh veggies and fruit. Portion out my hummus--and this all goes in my lunch. Doing that really helps me monitor what I am putting in my mouth. It also really aids in me not popping out to the local Timmies and grabbing a bagel toppped with loads of cream cheese. I also eat REALLY frequently. Probably ever hour and a half. Fruit and veg mostly. Fortunately, my father is a butcher, so I always have access to high quality protien which he often cuts for me into portions, and even makes me little bags for my stir frys--or meat balls ect. But not everyone is so lucky. I even find cooking like 3 chicken breasts on a sunday evening, cutting them up and popping them in the fridge, then topping them on my salad or using them for my dinner (when i get home tuesday evening and am too lazy/tired to cook) really helps. In honestly, i think its PREPING to eat healthy that makes all the difference.
  • Grognit
    Grognit Posts: 50
    I pre-log at the beginning of the day. Right now it is lunch time for me but I know what I am going to be eating today so I take 10 minutes at work and log it - I may have to tweak it a bit before I finish logging for the day (sometimes I have a different snack etc).

    I find the time to do some exercise. 20 minutes isn't that long. I am tired at night because I work full time, have a family to take care of, meals to cook. lunches to make but I know I can find 20 minutes. Heck I found it when I wanted to watch tv :) I also will just run in place if I can't get upstairs to my treadmill. I look a little nuts but I am moving.

    I also do things like - when I got to the bathroom at work, I go to the other washroom further away from me, then I walk up the stairs, around the second floor and back down to my desk. I park in a lot further away from my office so I have to walk further and I park on a higher level and take the stairs.

    Most of all - I make sure I am watching what I am eating.
  • amie290478
    amie290478 Posts: 24 Member
    The best thing I ever did with my weightloss is to FORCE myself to log absolutely everything. Once to really, truthfully start doing this you will find it easier to not have that extra portion or that sneaky snack as its visible to you. Its such as buzz to know that you have genuinally not over eaten and can see it written down.

    My advice to you is be honest and be strong. Even if for the first week you completely over eat u can see where you are doing it and start to make little changes rather than going cold turkey. Excercise does help as you can eat back your kcals that you burn without going over your daily goal. With your busy life and 3 kids you may find that you do loads of excercise anyway. Try logging that too.

    Feel free to add me as a friend, it massively helps having people going through the same thing to support you.
  • christabel6
    christabel6 Posts: 173 Member
    Nobody else sees your food diary so why lie? It suggests there is a lot of shame and guilt associated with food if you can't bear to see when you have gone over and how much by

    Part of the reason MFP works is that it helps you spot patterns in your diet that you can change and take control of. It's just a computerised counter and it doesn't judge you. You judge yourself and find yourself wanting. When you say you 'know' when you have gone over without actually counting, it sounds like what you're saying is you feel guilty about what you have eaten and don't want to face it. Actually you might be surprised if you count things properly - facts give you the power to change things, guilt undermines your ability to change things.

    Maybe what would help is to forget the weight loss for a while, commit to privately tracking food honestly for a week and see where you end up when you're just trying to maintain your weight rather than lose. You might find that a less depressing/emotional/guilt-making experience.
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
    So... I've been on here for about a month or two. I find that some days I'm ok. I do pretty good with keeping track of what i'm eating and what not. Other (Most) days I'm hiding what I eat so that I don't have to SEE that I of course went over. Any others had to deal with this?

    I've been overweight since the 5th grade. Never been in great shape. Have always over eaten. Now, I want to lose weight but am in school, work 40 hours a week, and go to church. It's one thing to say you want to lose weight and work out it's another thing to actually do it. With all of the work and school I rarely see my kids (6 yr old, 3 yr old, 7 mth old).

    So my point/question is, again, if anyone else had to deal with this??? What did you end up doing?

    It is a learning process. You have to find what works for you. I have two children still at home and a son who is off living on his own. I log everything that I eat. I do this either during lunch, early a.m. or at home after the children go to bed. I work out at 5 am or it won't get done. I have had eating disorders, so my issues is that I need to make sure that I eat because I am so used to not eating. The logging gets me to closer to my goal. This is what works for me. With young children and working and church, there has to be a good balance of you also taking care of yourself.
  • alicevick3
    alicevick3 Posts: 21
    Try not to think of your exercise as one huge chunk of time, break it up into short breaks. I set my phone to go off every hour and I do two minutes of dumbbell work until reach my daily goal. It keeps me from sitting to long and actually helps clear my head. Likewise you can play tag with your six year old, ride bikes ( the baby seat really adds to the work out) and so forth. I know it seems daunting but breaking it up really does help, you can even use commercials a timer, get up and do 10 jumping jacks for each one, or just run in place for the whole thing. If your kids are like mine were, they will think it's funny and join in. Dancing is also an activity with no age restrictions, even the baby will love it.

    As far as meals go, eating clean with lots of fruits and vegis is something kids need to grow up big and strong. The best way to instill that is by example. My kid went from ewww gross to give me some when I told her asparagus was too good for kids. The habits you instill in them now will follow them the rest of their lives, here is your chance to give them the skills you are having to learn now. What a fabulous head start! Watch your portions and you should be able to eat basically what the family does.

    Good luck Mom, just remember, you are the most important person in your kids lives. You owe it to them to be the healthiest mom you can be.
  • BOOMaggedon
    BOOMaggedon Posts: 244 Member
    I find that acountability is the hardest part of the journey. I started a program for me and my wife called GRAPE - God, Rewards, Accountability, Perseverance, Eating/Exercise. What we found is not including God in our journey is what killed us each time we tried in the past to do this. We have calendars and two types of stickers. Each day we eat within our calories (according to MFP) we get a sticker. Whenever we exercise at least 30 minutes we get a different sticker. If at the end of the month we get 40 stickers...we get to reward ourselves (we have a set amount to spend and it cannot be spent on food). We told everyone we know that we are working towards a healthier lifestyle. People ask us quite a bit how things are going. I have also been caught in the drive thru at McDonalds getting an ice cream cone. I was glad I was confronted about it. I explained that it fit within my macros and I was happy they called me on it.

    The perseverance part is a HUGE part. The only way to fail is to quit. You can have a bad day, bad week, or even a bad month...but the goal is a healthy lifestyle. This is not a diet...this is how we need to live.

    And of course eating and exercise...pretty self explanatory.

    Anyway best of luck to you! What we did was stop trying the same thing over and over that didn't work and created something that does work. Works for us anyway. :)
  • lcyama
    lcyama Posts: 209 Member
    When I first joined MFP, I logged everything I ate and drank, just to see how many calories I was eating. It helped me realize I was eating way too many calories, and it was a wake-up call for sure.

    Logging your food keeps you honest. You don't have to open your diary for other people to see. Use it to help you.

    I don't have a lot of time during the week to prepare foods, and to avoid the temptation of grabbing fast food, I prepare foods on the weekend. This also allows me to prelog my food (for the entire week!) I will sometimes make substitutions, but at least I know what calorie limits I am up against. Now that I've been doing this for so long, I am aware of the calorie counts of most of my favourite foods.

    I also allow myself a "cheat" meal every once a week, but try to not go crazy with it. Once I started making some progress, it was easier to stick with it because I had worked so hard and didn't want to have to start all over again.

    Good luck! You can do this!
  • NJL13500
    NJL13500 Posts: 433 Member
    I log no matter what. It's hard to see my "red days" but reminds me not to make those choices too often. I work full time and have kids, but no more school for me at this point. Sometimes I am at the gym or on the elliptical at my house at 10:00 pm on a Sunday if that is what it takes. I want to be healthy for myself and those around me.
  • tldillard3
    tldillard3 Posts: 14 Member
    yeah... i hear you guys. It's pretty much what i was thinking. I already knew i should be honest with myself but the anger and guilt takes over most days. I guess I keep looking for a "fix" when I know what i really need to do is just DO it.

    Thankss for the encouragement!!!
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Everyone deals with it. EVERY! ONE! Honestly, the days I really need to log are the days that I go over and not the days I know I am on track. The over days help me understand the limits of my intake, the effect going over has on how I feel and where my body will be if I conitnue to eat like that, as well as other issue. Good day are the easy ones to track. We all HATE to see the bad days, but those "failures" are what make us better and teach us.

    Cheers.
  • tldillard3
    tldillard3 Posts: 14 Member
    Everyone deals with it. EVERY! ONE! Honestly, the days I really need to log are the days that I go over and not the days I know I am on track. The over days help me understand the limits of my intake, the effect going over has on how I feel and where my body will be if I conitnue to eat like that, as well as other issue. Good day are the easy ones to track. We all HATE to see the bad days, but those "failures" are what make us better and teach us.

    Cheers.

    so true... haven't looked at it this way before.
  • salcha76
    salcha76 Posts: 287 Member
    your list of responsibilities (excuses) is impressive. It's how you look at life....an excuse or a reason....you are busy with a family, children, and a church...all the more reason to want to be healthy & life longer! Take it one day at a time & be accountable for you:) good luck!
  • Katieloula
    Katieloula Posts: 73
    Hi,

    Congrats for joining us - it's a massive step in the right direction!

    I first joined way back in 09 but my attempt failed miserably, mostly due to the fact that I would lie to myself in my own diary! I, like you, didn't want to see the truth, in blue and white ;), about what I'd eaten and how much snacking I did.

    My eating habits are a lot better now, but I'm determined to hold myself accountable. I haven't gone over yet, but yesterday I ate a gingerbread man on my way home from work (had a massive sweet craving!), searched it on here and was devastated to find it was 198 cals!!!!

    It didn't push me over because thankfully the rest of my day had been super light up until that point, but I was so pleased I logged it because I KNOW in future when I'm at the store and have that sweet craving that I will pick the healthier option, or only treat myself if I know I've had a good day instead of leaving it down to luck. You need to be honest on here - trust me you get the return on your investment!

    Also, if you know you're having a 'cheat' day still log it! For instance, this weekend is my birthday and I'm heading home Friday for a meal with my fam and a night out with friends Sat. I know there will be cake, curry, alcohol - you name it! BUT I'm going to log ALL that horrendously fatty stuff because I know just by KNOWING I'll be logging it I'll make slightly healthier choices, have one or two less drinks, just one slice of bday cake.

    You're always going to get bumps in the road but it's having that honest diary to look back on that helps you say: Right, NO treats for me for the next 5 days, lets get back on track!

    Best of luck :) You'll be great!
  • tldillard3
    tldillard3 Posts: 14 Member
    LOL!! Just wanted to say that I posted this to make myself be honest with myself. LOL!!! Not for attention. It's easy to just continue to lie to myself but I felt I should put myself on blast.
  • swissbrit
    swissbrit Posts: 201
    Whats the point of hiding things from yourself as you are not even fooling youself and the others dont matter :sad:
  • hetsergirls
    hetsergirls Posts: 1 Member
    Wow! I feel like I am reading my life right now but I didn't write it. I am not losing and getting so frustrated. But also not being honest with myself everyday either. I will start getting back on track and be honest with myself. Thanks for your post. It was mice to see I am not alone
  • DaniH826
    DaniH826 Posts: 1,335 Member
    LOL!! Just wanted to say that I posted this to make myself be honest with myself. LOL!!! Not for attention. It's easy to just continue to lie to myself but I felt I should put myself on blast.

    I don't think you're lying to yourself. It's your mouth, and you'd have to be blind and your tastebuds and nerve endings removed to not see and know what goes in it on a daily basis. I mean really, come on now. Give yourself more credit please.

    I think you're just not ready to restructure your diet because you might be afraid of it being too much work and that you won't be able to stick with it or whatever else it is you're afraid of, which is the real reason why you haven't made any true, lasting changes: Fear. And maybe some shame too regarding how far you've let yourself go. And/or guilt. All those fun things that regularly plague people and keep us bound up and inactive, always wishing, but never actually doing.

    MFP is a tool. As all tools go, you can use it beneficially for what it was intended to do (help you get on track every day) or you can manipulate it and continue to feed into your fears, in which case it won't do you any good whatsoever and you might as well not even start. Just being honest.

    Maybe instead of "weight loss" have your goal be "fat loss". Maybe instead of some general "I need to eat less" use MFP to help you keep track of your protein intake, or cut down carbs or whatever it is you need to adjust. Set your diary to private and nobody else has to know. Do this for yourself, by yourself, at your personal comfort level to help you get a grip. Bringing others in is optional around here.

    Yes, it will take time and energy because you'll have to become mindful of your intake instead of just ... ahem ... let me be straightforward here ... gluttonously stuffing your face with anything that happens to be in front of you and looks/smells good at the time. Beg pardon if that offended, but I'm a straight shooter and know no different, and you did say you had to get over yourself, so I'm just helping you along. :bigsmile:

    However, being mindful of your food choices and tracking them will take less time and energy than say, having to go to the doctor and pharmacy all the time to keep track of diabetes, or heart disease, or any of the other preventable lifestyle diseases we burden ourselves with.

    It's all a give-take, you know? Your current lifestyle is costing you something, else you wouldn't be here posting about wanting to make changes. I know this cause I've been in your shoes and was super scared of logging calories because I didn't think I could do it. Turns out, yes I can. I can find an exercise program that I love, too, and stick with it for more than 2 weeks. Whee!

    Like I said, I don't think lying to yourself is your true problem. There's other things going on. Cause ... been there, done that.

    It's just a decision. Make it, set yourself on that course, and then walk it out step by step, day by day. It doesn't have to be a major overhaul and it doesn't have to completely uproot your life. Make it manageable and realistic and readjust as you go along to make it work for you, that's the whole secret. :smile:
  • suzbaru
    suzbaru Posts: 37 Member
    1. Pre-plan your meals.

    Log in the night before and plan your meals for the next day or week. Think about errands you'll be doing, work, etc. Are you meeting people for dinner or lunch? Plan your calories around those events. I find it best to start with dinner and work my way up to breakfast.

    2. Keep healthy snacks available and ready.

    Nuts, fruit, yogurt, etc. When I get hungry and I'm running around, I grab almonds from my glove box and eat 23 kernels, which is one ounce and will tie you over. Just wait 10-20 mins and you won't be hungry after you eat them.

    3. Eat more low calorie large items. Veggies.

    Do you know how much 100 grams of spinach is?! It's A LOT. Cucumbers, celery, lettuce, etc. You'll feel like you are eating more but you'll be stopping the calories.

    4. Don't stress over it. Plan your meals so it won't happen again.
  • babyskunkles
    babyskunkles Posts: 86 Member
    As far as exercise goes, it doesn't have to be in the gym. Involve your children if possible. It's going to be nice weather soon, so it will be perfect to go out and walk with them. You could go to the park and play - anything burns more than sitting on the couch.:happy:
  • kaitthegr8t
    kaitthegr8t Posts: 28 Member
    Pre-logging has helped me. I map out my meals the night before (I just finished for tomorrow). Doing this helps me see how many calories I will consume throughout the day, it takes away the "gamble" of eating bad early in the day to make up for it later (because let's face it, we never do). Buy your produce local and fresh, it will force you to consume it before it goes bad. Also, find things that work for you. If you are busy and on the go, make yourself a shake in the blender before you close down your kitchen for the night and store it for the next day. Add ice in the morning and you are good to go! They make a great breakfast on the go, and are a great way to use any fruits and veggies that are about to go bad.

    Eat healthy! Eat healthy! Eat healthy! Time is not an excuse for poor eating habits. Good luck!
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    heres what i did ( please note what works for me may not you)

    i logged everything, once you visually see what youre eating either it will click it or wont

    i slowly started phasing all the junk out

    then i started cooking my lunches on sunday evening. i cook about 12 chicken breasts, then dice them up, add some steamed broccili, some cheese and put in the fridge.

    i create the recipe in mfp

    realise your weight didnt suddenly appear overnight and it sure as hell wont just disappear that quickly either

    once you start doing that and get in a pattern it becomes easier and easier
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    yeah... i hear you guys. It's pretty much what i was thinking. I already knew i should be honest with myself but the anger and guilt takes over most days. I guess I keep looking for a "fix" when I know what i really need to do is just DO it.

    Thankss for the encouragement!!!


    think we all deal with, or have dealt with, that same issue. It is part of why we found this site. I had to consciously fight that ugly voice in my head - all the guilt, threats or promises of failure, begging me not to even try... - I had to fight it every second of every day. For over a year before I finally feel in control of that damn voice. Now the inner voice tells me to keep going and I can do it! And forgive myself for missteps.

    If you start small - log every ounce of everything you put in your mouth. No expectations, just so you can see where you are. Once you see (after a week or so) you can identify small changes that will make a huge difference - eat a smaller portion of something, drink more water, no more soda (or less soda to start), serious junk food in very small portions or infrequently...You get to decide how you approach this and take it as fast or as slow as you need to. Remember, you are teaching yourself to be healthy after a lifetime of not being healthy. It takes time and patience and the ability to forgive yourself and move ahead anyway.

    Listen, if I can do this (and I did) YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!
  • __stacyb
    __stacyb Posts: 306
    Log everything! The only person your cheating is you, when you don't. Not wanting to see something in your diary is great motivation not to eat it, at least for me it is :)

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