Swimming season and combat scars... Advice needed.

SoldierDad
SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
So I have pretty much have my army body back now that I have hit my goals and started to do so much weight lifting and pushups... But its swimming season and my family likes to go to all the swim parks and lakes. When I was heavier I could get away with wearing a shirt and make the excuse to my wife that i was ashamed of the weight. Now she expects me to go shirtless and show off my body (she likes my muscles, lol). But the problem is I am very embarrased of the combat scars on my belly. They are so ugly. When i went shirtless at my son's bday party (at the water-park) i got so many stares. My wife said it was just women checking me out but I think it was the scars. I usually don't care what people think but they really bother me.... Short of surgery what can i do to get rid of them or even hide them. I know it's a silly thing but any advice is appreciated.
Blessings,
Ed
ps: my wife said I should wear my scars proudly but they are ugly...

Replies

  • stridersraven
    stridersraven Posts: 27
    hi there, i understand what youre saying, scares can make you feel like people are staring for the wrong reasons, ive got scars here and there on my body too, but..... i like them. they prove i made it. im here, no matter how hard anyone tried to stop me.my scars are my proof that i was not broken, be proud, please, youre scars are your badge of honour my friend.

    helenka x
  • Jenks
    Jenks Posts: 349
    I don't know how you could hide them, but I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for risking your life, so that we may continue to live ours in the manner that we're accustomed to.
    I agree with your wife, you should wear them proudly.
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
    If you decide you will be more comfortable covering them, there are waterproof makeup options that could help. I haven't personally used any of the products, but I know they are out there.
  • katie30
    katie30 Posts: 55
    I have to say your wife makes a point, you got those scars serving your country. People should see them and thank you!

    That said, I more than understand uncomfortable scars, marks, etc and wanting to conceal them. Do a quick google search for men's lycra swim tops. There are several companies that make t-shirt style swim tops for men. They are common amongst surfers. Take a look at these page as an example (my own quick search).

    http://www.swimmerschoice.com/servlet/the-361/Men's-Swim-Tees/Detail

    Hope that helps.
  • tcac
    tcac Posts: 211 Member
    You should listen to your wife. Wear those scars with pride. Becuase of you and others like you, me and my grandchildren can go to parks without fear. Because of those scars we are a safer country. Thank you for all you and your wife and children gave up for me and others you will never meet. But know this I pray and than God for you every day. Soldiers are our heros.
  • courtney_love2001
    courtney_love2001 Posts: 1,468 Member
    That's kind of a hard situation...I think people look because they are curious and not because they are thinking something negative. What your wife said is true, but I'm sure it is hard to accept it. I think with time you will grow more comfortable with your scars...and you should start by taking your wife's advice and going shirtless! You have your army body back now like you said, so why not? If you got it, flaunt it :drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
    wear a tank top? Shows off those sexy shoulders and arms but covers your stomach...just an idea...if you're really that insecure about them.
    I would probably feel the same way as your wife does. Wear your scars like a badge of honor. Be proud of who you are and where you've been. Heck, I'm proud of you and I barely know you...
  • Nina74
    Nina74 Posts: 470 Member
    I think you should show them proudly. Anyone who stares, well, that's their problem. LIke everything else (I'm learning) it's all about confidence.

    If you're feeling insecure still, there are some makeups out there to cover scars or tattoos and are waterproof. Kind of metrosexual, I know for an army guy like you, but if it made you feel more confident, who cares! I googled "makeup to cover scars" and got a bunch of options.
  • red01angel
    red01angel Posts: 806 Member
    Regardless of what your wife says, if you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable. Feelings aren't always rational.

    Now, as for fading unwanted scars, I think you should talk to a dermatologist. He/she could give you some really good advice and help you decide on the best course of treatment. Also..remember that even the most prominent scars will lighten and fade eventually.
    If the dermatologist doesn't give you the answers you're looking for, you could also consult a plastic surgeon if they bother you THAT much...
  • kcdrake
    kcdrake Posts: 512
    Well, I know if my fiance came home from his deployment with scars he would still be the most handsome man in the world to me and I would be proud of him and all the sacrifices he has made for his country, family, and freedom. Whatever happened that caused you to get those scars, don't be ashamed. You're an amazing person and you shouldn't be ashamed of what made you who you are today.

    That being said, I know personally that having scars can be a bit of a blow to your confidence. Ultimately, I would say that you should accept the beautiful person you are, inside and out. However, this can be a process. In the meantime, maybe you could find a tight-fitting tank top. It would still show off all the hard work you did to get your body back to how you like it, but still cover the scars until you are comfortable and can accept them.
  • confuseacat
    confuseacat Posts: 137 Member
    Ed I am proud that you and others risk life to protect our freedom!. If someone asks questions or stares just pat your tummy and say "purple heart" or "combat wound" or whatever. They probably don't mean to be rude they are just curious. They might just say thank you for serving our country. You might be the hero of the water park to a group of little boys if they knew your story. I know my sons would probably not leave you alone asking questions about the military if they knew. I know this doesn't solve your probelm of having the scar but I hope it makes you feel a little better. :heart:
  • Yurippe
    Yurippe Posts: 850 Member
    There is a product called Mederma that helps fade the color of scars and make the skin a bit smoother.

    http://www.mederma.com/scars

    I was in an accident and shattered my left arm. I have a thick scar that is over a foot long on the back of my arm. It's never going away, but Mederma helped the apperance a little bit.

    I'd have to wear long sleeved shirts to cover it up, but I don't bother. I was lucky to live through the accident and I refuse to be ashamed of the aftermath.
  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
    On one hand, I agree with everyone who tells you there's no reason to feel embarrassed about them and that you should "wear them" proudly.

    On the other hand, it's YOUR body.... if you feel uncomfortable going out shirtless, then don't. Your wife knows you better than anyone else, and if you explain to her how you feel, even if she doesn't agree - I'm sure she'll understand.

    Nobody wants to feel that they HAVE TO do something just because other people say they should - going shirtless, my friend, is TOTALLY up to you.

    Would you want your wife to go out wearing something she didn't feel comfortable in (maybe a bikini) even if YOU thought she looked fantastic?? (I'm guessing not, I'd bet you'd want her to go out in something SHE liked and was happy and comfortable in)
  • alyssaboo
    alyssaboo Posts: 11 Member
    I do agree with your wife, although I also understand where you are coming from. I have a couple very large scars, one goes all the way accross my forehead from a burn. When I was young I always thought people were staring at it and they might have been since everyone knew I had a huge third degree burn on my forehead. However, it was something that happened to me that I can not take back and I think that this scar and my other scars give me character. I feel that way about everyone's scars, large or small. When I see people's scars that are large and obviously from something serious I look at them and think, darn, you are couragious to have made it through and you are special because God wants you here for something more. I think that you should see your scars as something that you can feel pride for, because you were one of the few of us to actually have the courage to fight for other people. I bet if your son's friends asked their parents what your scars were, they would say that you got them fighting for the rest of us because you are a good, brave person.
    I hope this helps a little.
  • MzMolly
    MzMolly Posts: 169 Member
    Ed,
    I wish I could see you right now I would give you a big hug and tell you thank you for your service and sacrifice to our country. I am sorry you were ever hurt but thank God you lived and are home with your family. I agree you should wear them proudly and ignore any staring. If someone ask you then proudly answer them, You were injured while in combat serving our country. I am sure you will receive many thanks. I am sorry you are selfconscience of them but they are a part of who you are now and I think you are a pretty wonderful person. You have a heart of gold and are obviously a blessing to so many people and our counrty, be proud of who you are and don't worry about looks you may get.

    Molly
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
    Thank you all for your help, advice, and kind words. God bless you!
This discussion has been closed.

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