Being healthy = No social life

getfit4u89
getfit4u89 Posts: 60
in Motivation and Support
I have for the past month been very dedicated to my health. This means, no drinking and going out! I work second shift which put me in the lifestyle of going out after work (which is 11pm or midnight) I finally got tired of the nightclub seen and not making the best decisions that one day I woke up and decided to start fresh! I have consistently gone to the gym most days this past month and eating healthy. I feel like I don't have a social life anymore cause I'm not partying with my friends, I just stopped cold turkey. Are any of you in this same position? How do you stay motivated/ ignore peer pressure to go out?

Replies

  • felipejose74
    felipejose74 Posts: 21 Member
    I surround myself with people who have like interests - like eating healthy and being active. They're the best friends I could ask for!
  • irishcanadianwoman
    irishcanadianwoman Posts: 147
    Great that you are getting healthy! Try making friends with people at the gym, or other people who have the same values as you do. It is true that we are influenced by our peers - but it is your job to find people who influence you in positive ways. That is not easy, I know, but it is easier than trying to make healthy lifestyle choices while hanging out with people who do not support your new choices. This will take time and energy. Be kind to yourself. Good luck!
  • Proyecto_AN
    Proyecto_AN Posts: 387
    Yes, I had to reduce my circle... so I am in that position. But I think old friends respect what I do. I've met new people with similar goals so its all fine. Feel free to add me :)
  • carrieous
    carrieous Posts: 1,024 Member
    why cant you go out and not drink alcohol? its hard to dance with a drink in your hand anyway and dancing burns a ton of calories!~
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Maybe now that you've gotten into the habit of making healthy choices, you can start going out again? I refuse to give up my pool league, which means 2 nights in a bar every week...with everyone drinking. I don't think there's anything wrong with having an occasional drink but one month I decided not to drink at all. Instead I had water or club soda with lime (looked just like a drink). My teammates and friends were more supportive than I expected them to be- they even bought me "a shot" to have with everyone...but instead of it being an alcoholic shot, it was a shot of cranberry juice and sprite- it looked just like the "washington apple" shots they were having, but it wasn't lower-cal and I didn't feel left out. Also, not drinking for a month made my tolerance TANK so I didn't have to drink a TON of calories to get a little buzz. I usually stick to vodka sodas with lime too- the only cals involved are from the vodka and it's not that much. Stay away from tonic water though- it has as many cals as regular soda!

    I hope this helps! You definitely don't need to stop your social life...just plan some ways to make good decisions when you go out, and try to allow a little splurge without going totally haywire :smile:
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    why cant you go out and not drink alcohol? its hard to dance with a drink in your hand anyway and dancing burns a ton of calories!~

    This!

    I went out when I was pregnant with my first child, and obviously didn't drink. I still managed to enjoy myself.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    I'm not sure why you can't go out. Dancing at the club burns lots of calories! Drink water or club soda or diet coke or something instead of alcohol. You'll still have a great time but you're less likely to make bad decisions and you'll still be living healthy.

    Otherwise, you'll need to find a new group of friends who live a similar lifestyle. Look around for clubs built around the things you like to do. There might be some posted at your gym or your town might have a running or hiking club.
  • hbm616
    hbm616 Posts: 377 Member
    My social circle has shrunk a bit but I'm okay with that. I felt terrible going out all the time, drinking too much and eating crap. Even just hanging out one day would ruin two days because I eat crap when I'm hungover and the idea of exercising makes me hurl haha.

    Currently my friends drink (as do I) but we also go bowling, to the museum, out shopping, and out to different restaurants and coffee shops. We've also been watching Mad Men as a group and we make homemade pizza (much healthier than ordering) and make a few cocktails but don't go overboard.

    My closest friends also belong to the same gym as me so we meet up there sometimes as well. I can't wait until the weather is nicer and we can go on bike rides and trips to the beach.

    Basically the friends I have now don't focus on drinking. My old group was only about partying hard and that just doesn't work for how I want to live me life now.
  • jessmart83
    jessmart83 Posts: 283 Member
    I still go out on occasion with my girlfriends. If I drink I have one, or I am DD for the girls. I still have a good time.
  • The__Deflator
    The__Deflator Posts: 13 Member
    Yeah I feel quite the same. If my friends decide to go eating something, it's always unhealthy/fatty food. I'm then sitting right next to them, being like "no I'm not hungry, I just ate something...". It's getting even worse when they start partying, eventhough I've never been much into alcohol. But it's really tough to stay with them the whole evening because a) I feel tired earlier without drinking, (dont know why lol) and b) they just get more and more drunk and are just fooling around all the time (which would be funny if you're drunk too, otherwise it's just annoying).

    What I do is I'm always keeping some "healthy" food in my backpack when I'm going to classes so when they decide to eat their foods again, I just snack on those things.
    My strategy with going out in the evening is quite simple: I'll drive and so I can't drink anything (and I wont stuff unhealthy food in my body while being "not so much responsible" anymore). Even better, when I wanna go, most of the time they leave with me because they dont wanna pay for a taxi since it would be really expensive.

    It's not always easy, but after a while you will find your own strategy or use a bit of mine :)
  • Sweets1954
    Sweets1954 Posts: 507 Member
    You do have options other than not going out at all. You can still go out on occasion, instead of drinking mixed drinks or beer, try drinking wine spritzers (white wine with soda) or just soda with a twist of lime or lemon. Or limit yourself to one or two drinks. Limit the number of times you go out, maybe once or twice a week.

    You can find other people who have a similar interest that you have, invite a friend for lunch (where you can control what you order), a movie, or a walk. Strike up a friendship with someone at your gym. If you continue to isolate yourself you may find yourself feeling resentful and go back to your old ways. I have worked second and third shifts so I know what you mean about the partying. Hang in there, you can overcome this obstical..
  • dstromley1
    dstromley1 Posts: 165
    I feel ya it sucks, IM always the DD on the rare occasion that i go out. just part of the sacrifices you gotta make
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    You do have options other than not going out at all. You can still go out on occasion, instead of drinking mixed drinks or beer, try drinking wine spritzers (white wine with soda) or just soda with a twist of lime or lemon. Or limit yourself to one or two drinks. Limit the number of times you go out, maybe once or twice a week.

    You can find other people who have a similar interest that you have, invite a friend for lunch (where you can control what you order), a movie, or a walk. Strike up a friendship with someone at your gym. If you continue to isolate yourself you may find yourself feeling resentful and go back to your old ways. I have worked second and third shifts so I know what you mean about the partying. Hang in there, you can overcome this obstical..

    I was going to reply but sweets has said what I was going to say x
  • MissKitty9
    MissKitty9 Posts: 224 Member
    I'm in this position---& yeah, it's SO hard to have a social life. It's not that I want a drink so bad, it's that I'm used to not worrying about my food/alcohol intake when out with friends...so when I DO go out, it's a bit depressing to remember "you're trying to be healthyyyy." So I'd rather not go out at all :-\
  • getfit4u89
    getfit4u89 Posts: 60
    That's how I feel. I just don't want to put myself in a position where i'm tempted, cause if bbq wings and a beer is sitting in front of me, I will eat and drink it ha.
  • sourbonk
    sourbonk Posts: 6
    That has been one of the hardest things for me! My best friend is obsessed with fries, so we never end up anywhere good. And we live in a small town, so options are limited.

    One time, we ended at Arby's. The last time I ate there (years ago), you could get a grilled chicken patty on your sandwich. So I decided to order a grilled chicken something, then I would take the bun off and eat just the meat. Apparently, they now do lunch mean if you don't want fried. My sandwhich has 3 slices of thin meat once I took away the bread.

    The sad thing, we just don't hang out anymore. But it has been devestating to me. I'm pretty sure she doens't call me to do stuff anymore because of the way I eat. And I don't call her because I'm too scared we'll end up at McDonald's. I've tried forcing a better eating style on her, but realized, I can't change her. If she wants to change, she will.

    I HATE not having a social life anymore.
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  • getfit4u89
    getfit4u89 Posts: 60
    I really would trade my "once social life" for feeling as good as I do now
  • nhsoprano
    nhsoprano Posts: 129
    Well, I would suggest that you find friends who have the same lifestyle and motivation as you. It is so much easier to resist the temptation when nobody else is eating the wings or drinking the beer...
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    I surround myself with people who have like interests - like eating healthy and being active. They're the best friends I could ask for!

    All of my friends exercise with me. We go rock climbing and do races, we eat dinner at healthier restaurants and we run on the weekends. We sign up for mud runs and are constantly scouring the internet for new races and fun stuff to do.

    I wouldn't trade them - or my lifestyle - for anything.
  • olDave
    olDave Posts: 557 Member
    In about 20 years it won't be an issue anymore.:wink:
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
    I used to drink wine every evening starting at 4PM. I was wasted by dinner time. I decided I was "sick and tired of being sick and tired"! I stopped drinking, eat and exercise and feel and look great. I have been maintaining for 6 moths and find it very hard to go out and have one or two glasses of wine every 3-4 weeks!!! I do get wasted fast and I am a "cheap drunk"!! My real problem is not stopping after two glasses of wine, it is that I want to eat everything in site and tend to binge. I wish I could go out every now and then, look forward to this as a reward and NOT binge. This is my maintenance goal. I am not doing very good with this!!
  • wassergottin
    wassergottin Posts: 154 Member
    Well, I sort of understand the feeling. I am senior in electrical engineering which means I don't really have a social life anyway - but we used to go out once a month if we could to party. I just haven't had time at all to go out and I've put my fitness as my first priority (well, second to my dog and husband) because I love feeling good about myself. Tomorrow night will be the first time I've gone out in a long time and I will be clubbing with many jello shots available to me. I haven't had alcohol in almost three months so it will be interesting. I think it's okay to drink in moderation and going out at least once a month should be a priority if you are a social butterfly.
  • guppygirl322
    guppygirl322 Posts: 408 Member
    Maybe now that you've gotten into the habit of making healthy choices, you can start going out again? I refuse to give up my pool league, which means 2 nights in a bar every week...with everyone drinking. I don't think there's anything wrong with having an occasional drink but one month I decided not to drink at all. Instead I had water or club soda with lime (looked just like a drink). My teammates and friends were more supportive than I expected them to be- they even bought me "a shot" to have with everyone...but instead of it being an alcoholic shot, it was a shot of cranberry juice and sprite- it looked just like the "washington apple" shots they were having, but it wasn't lower-cal and I didn't feel left out. Also, not drinking for a month made my tolerance TANK so I didn't have to drink a TON of calories to get a little buzz. I usually stick to vodka sodas with lime too- the only cals involved are from the vodka and it's not that much. Stay away from tonic water though- it has as many cals as regular soda!

    I hope this helps! You definitely don't need to stop your social life...just plan some ways to make good decisions when you go out, and try to allow a little splurge without going totally haywire :smile:


    ^^this^^
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    That's how I feel. I just don't want to put myself in a position where i'm tempted, cause if bbq wings and a beer is sitting in front of me, I will eat and drink it ha.

    I tend to be the same way so when I go out to dinner with friends, I suggest places I know I can get healthy things I actually like...like The Cheesecake Factory- they have a HUGE "Skinnylicious" menu with all different types of food (all under 600 cals) and they have "Skinny" drinks too. And an occasional splurge won't derail all the progress made from days/weeks/months of being healthy more often than not. You could always do an extra workout to "earn" a splurge too.

    But to say you'd rather not go out at all...although I can relate to the feeling, it's just not maintainable long-term...getting healthy shouldn't be a punishment and you're unlikely to stick with it if you feel that way. I know it's hard but facing those situations is the only way to overcome the insecurities. Eventually you'll find what does, and doesn't work for you.

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