Does it make you mad when people tell you..

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Supastarrnikki
Supastarrnikki Posts: 248
in Motivation and Support
You look great and you dont need to do anything for your body? Or its impossible for you to lose that much weight.. blah blah blah?

Like it makes me so mad. I know what I want. I know how I want to look. I know it IS possible and I am capable of doing it..and i know what I look like now..

even the fitness counselor at the gym tells me that stuff :(

I feel like Im being lied to

My trainer friend Bryce went to the gym with me yesterday, and was working out with me and what not. And I told him what my goals and stuff work, and he was all in it with me at the gym, but after I left, Him and Greg ( Fitness counselor) talked about me :-/ And today Greg told me him and Bryce talked after I left the gym.. and they think I look great as I am. I feel as if im being lied too.

Replies

  • chels0722
    chels0722 Posts: 465 Member
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    I now how you feel.. My friends are always telling me

    "You don't need to workout so much"
    "You don't need to be on a diet"
    "You don't need to lose weight"

    1. I work out to keep my body in optimum condition, not for weight loss
    2. I'm not on a diet!!!! I eat healthy and wholesome! What is so hard to understand about that?!
    3. I'm not trying to lose weight. I am trying to reduce my BF%

    Oye. People just need to mind their own business and let us succeed in peace!

    EDIT: I also HATE it when people use the word "skinny" to describe me. I am fit, and I work damn hard to be this way!
  • lovinmyselfagain
    lovinmyselfagain Posts: 307 Member
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    To look at me with clothes on, I look like I don't need to lose anymore weight. I still have a substantial gut, but I know how to hide it well. Obviously too well, because so many people are telling me I don't need to lose anymore weight or that I need to do x,y,z, etc.. And these aren't health and fitness professionals, just friends and family who act like they are experts on my body. It's maddening that there are people who think they know my body better than me. I see myself naked everyday, they don't.... as far as I know ;). So it's insulting and condescending, as if I don't know what I'm doing. Or that I'm lying about having a gut. Who does that? I'm at the point that the next time someone says anything to me, I'll just grab their hand and whip out my gut for them to feel and see. That should shut them up, right? :laugh:
  • lovinmyselfagain
    lovinmyselfagain Posts: 307 Member
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    I now how you feel.. My friends are always telling me

    "You don't need to workout so much"
    "You don't need to be on a diet"
    "You don't need to lose weight"

    1. I work out to keep my body in optimum condition, not for weight loss
    2. I'm not on a diet!!!! I eat healthy and wholesome! What is so hard to understand about that?!
    3. I'm not trying to lose weight. I am trying to reduce my BF%

    Oye. People just need to mind their own business and let us succeed in peace!

    EDIT: I also HATE it when people use the word "skinny" to describe me. I am fit, and I work damn hard to be this way!

    Ugh. I hate the word "skinny" too!
  • walkinon_sunshine
    walkinon_sunshine Posts: 36
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    I'm in a weird position with this one because my mother and stepfather tell me to lose weight, (but they won't do it for themselves) my boyfriend tells me not to. My stepmom says I should lose, my dad says dont. My sister tells me I should, and I know I would get showered with compliments from my friends and neighbors if I did. But I'm not totally sure what I want for myself. Weightloss? Sure, up to 44 lbs would be fine. More than that would be dangerous. But I think what I really want is to learn to eat well and feel good in my own skin regardless of what anyone else says. To sum it up... Yes. It does make me angry. But so do people that tell me I should lose weight. I just want them to support me in whatever I choose to do because I do not need to lose or gain for health reasons whatsoever.
  • dianamatienzo
    dianamatienzo Posts: 127
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    To me it just seems like you don't want to accept the fact that you are at a healthy weight and look great! :) I say take it as a compliment, but don't let that change your goals; use it as motivation!

    I know what you mean when others tell you that you look great, but you don't feel the same way. The truth is that you DO look great, but it might not be the level of greatness you want to achieve. Just keep striving for your goals, keeping in mind that you want to stay healthy and not lose track of that :) Good luck!
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
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    It is really easy to get a distorted view of how you actually look during weight loss. It can be really confusing for the brain and take a while to catch up to reality.

    I find your choice of words about it interesting - you say "I feel like I'm being lied to" by your friends who are telling you that you look good and don't need to lose more weight. People generally lie to get out of something, or to gain something, so you have to step back and think - what would THEY gain from lying to you about something like that?

    Don't let your brain twist their compliments into some sort of criticism on your capabilities of getting the body you want. That can lead to a really unhealthy way of thinking.
  • RobinV_Seattle
    RobinV_Seattle Posts: 191 Member
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    Well, assuming that your full-body photos are up to date, you do look great, but...does that mean you, and every other woman I've ever met, don't see problem areas you'd like to target? Of course not, lol!

    Maybe your trainer friend is afraid that your focus is just a number on the scale and not a healthy body fat percentage. Have you had them measure your body fat percentage?

    If not, I recommend it. It will give you a more realistic idea of where you stand than the scale. Recently, I ran the numbers on an online calculator and then had my trainer break out the calipers and the online calculator was off by 5% - and not in my favor. :grumble:

    Edited for typos
  • lilbell13
    lilbell13 Posts: 18
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    My advise is dont tell people your goals!
    They are your goals and no one elses!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    Well, assuming that your full-body photos are up to date, you do look great, but...does that mean you, and every other woman I've ever met, don't see problem areas you'd like to target? Of course not, lol!

    Maybe your trainer friend is afraid that your focus is just a number on the scale and not a healthy body fat percentage. Have you had them measure your body fat percentage?

    If not, I recommend it. It will give you a more realistic idea of where you stand than the scale. Recently, I ran the numbers on an online calculator and then had my trainer break out the calipers and the online calculator was off by 5% - and not in my favor. :grumble:

    Edited for typos

    All of this.

    If one person says, "You don't need to lose weight," I assume they're just being nice.

    If EVERYONE around me is saying I don't need to lose weight, and that my goals seem unrealistic, especially a trainer... I'd have to start thinking they may be right and my perception might be distorted.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    i know what you mean after you have done all hard work. I realize I do look better 20 lbs heavier than WW says, maybe it is my age. A lady at our gym looks too skinny and would look better heavier. I guess you do look little better when you are around 50 a little heavier but not too much.

    my daughter and a couple of people said I look sick and it made me mad but honestly it was true. I had to find a balance and gain a little bit and not do what WW say, do what I want and I say DO WHAT YOU WANT.
  • nokanjaijo
    nokanjaijo Posts: 466 Member
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    You look great and you dont need to do anything for your body? Or its impossible for you to lose that much weight.. blah blah blah?

    Like it makes me so mad. I know what I want. I know how I want to look. I know it IS possible and I am capable of doing it..and i know what I look like now..

    even the fitness counselor at the gym tells me that stuff :(

    I feel like Im being lied to

    My trainer friend Bryce went to the gym with me yesterday, and was working out with me and what not. And I told him what my goals and stuff work, and he was all in it with me at the gym, but after I left, Him and Greg ( Fitness counselor) talked about me :-/ And today Greg told me him and Bryce talked after I left the gym.. and they think I look great as I am. I feel as if im being lied too.

    People tell me this. Last time I spoke with my father he said that, just thinking about the last time he saw me, he can't imagine what I look like less 14 lbs. He said I looked great the last time he saw me, very fit and muscular.

    I thanked him. That's nice. I don't think I looked bad either. I just prefer myself leaner than that. This last 14 lbs was almost entirely about comfort. Right now, I'm about as comfortable in my own body as I can get. I'm going to go for another 10 for pure vanity. I recognize that I don't need to lose it.

    If I stalled out right here, I wouldn't be too bothered. But I'm going to go for it. It's what I weighed at my wedding.

    I do wonder why their opinion bothers you. I wonder if you could write a little bit about where you are, what you want to get to and what is driving you.

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