One year today, 65 pounds down (pics!)

Honestly, I didn't spend all of this time period on MFP, but MFP was an integral part of breaking a plateau after 30 pounds down. My life before March 13th, 2012 was a sad one. I hurt constantly, I couldn't breathe, I smoked, and I was miserable. When I went to my doctor March 12th, 2012, it was with the intentions of talking to her about fertility medication. I hadn't been able to conceive for the past three years. She told me that I had to lose 30-50 pounds before she would even consider it. The next day, I started making life changes.

Start weight: 269lbs
Size: 24, close to a 26

I hated making these changes. It was hard! I withdrew from sugar. I was irritated and always hungry. I hated vegetables (still do for the most part!). I loved to cook though. I started by looking up recipes for different vegetables. I didn't like every single thing I cooked, but I tried it all. I stopped frying everything, and ate less fast food. While I wasn't really exercising, I maintained (mostly) a 1200 calorie diet. These pictures were from Easter time, last year.





In July or August, I was interested in starting exercise. I tried Jillian Michael's 30 day shred, and I didn't like it at all. It was hard to be excited about. I know many people have success with this, but it wasn't for me. I decided to join the YMCA instead after 3 successful months of exercising 4-5 days a week by playing tennis in a nearby park. Honestly, I didn't (and still don't) go to the gym regularly, but I enjoy going in 2 times a week or so for strength training. Once I incorporated exercise, I started eating 1400 calories a day and not eating my exercise calories back unless I was hungry.

I'm not going to lie, it's been a rough road. Undoing a lifetime of bad has been difficult. But I've learned A LOT along the way. I've learned (some) self-control. I've learned how to be accountable. Calorie counting has even taught me how to budget my own money. It's a simple system of in and out. Even with Hypothyroidism AND pcos I've been able to be successful. I've learned patience too. I've spent many months losing 8-10 pounds, and many more losing nothing. But regardless of my ups and downs, I'm definitely smaller and happier too.

One of the hardest things to realize has been that the journey is going to take forever. I'm going to spend days hating myself and feeling disappointed. I never realized how big I was until I lost 65 pounds and I'm still big. But it is a journey, and it comes in waves.

Now I'm trying to change my goals away from pounds and onto exercise and diet. I've been trying to get into "one-derland" for about 6 weeks, and I can't seem to dip below 203, probably because I've increased my calories and started jogging 4-5 days a week to train for a 5k in April.

Some of my notable non-scale victories include:
- quitting smoking (and still losing weight)
- climbing up stairs without noticing
- having a much more efficient heart (though admittedly I was upset at first because I was burning less calories due to the efficiency)
- wearing my husband's (medium) jacket
- being on top... you know...
- jogging for 5 minutes straight
- no "borderline" blood pressure concerns
- a clean bill of health from the doctor, and regular cycles (so I can get pregnant when I'm ready now, naturally)
- playing outside with my dogs, even running with them
- better tips at work (seriously, the more attractive you are, the better people tip you!)

The negatives to weight loss is:
- clothes don't fit!
- learning your body can be weird
- you feel silly turning sideways for walk ways you can walk through straight
- people want to ask you how you did it
- you feel awkward around people who are still really big (my 300+lb roommate, for example)

Anyway, my current size is roughly a 16 (14-18, depending on designer). These pictures were taken a few minutes ago, and it's 1:30am here, so forgive my tired face and no make-up!