To Add or To Be Added

labellecanuck
labellecanuck Posts: 105 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Why is it that whenever someone posts explicitly looking for friends, most of the replies say "add me"? Why don't the repliers just add the person? Is this is a status thing? Like being added makes you a cooler and sought out person... as opposed to being the adder where you must be desperate and lonely? :P

What's the deal?

Replies

  • jbloomfj
    jbloomfj Posts: 122 Member
    When I started there were many post from the ladies concerned about men being there for the wrong reasons and trolling for women. Some ladies only wanted lady fiends, so I leave them with the option of adding me if they wish. I will send friends request to the gentlemen.
  • The_New_Christina
    The_New_Christina Posts: 818 Member
    Add me! :tongue:
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    I choose not add women due to me and most of my friends being perverted. If you choose to add me then that is different. This site has a lot of creepers on it. Thanks is my reason.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Why is it that whenever someone posts explicitly looking for friends, most of the replies say "add me"? Why don't the repliers just add the person? Is this is a status thing? Like being added makes you a cooler and sought out person... as opposed to being the adder where you must be desperate and lonely? :P

    What's the deal?

    I'd rather give them the choice to add me or not add me, than to accept or reject my friend request. If I've said to them "you can add me if you like" - I'm not going to reject their friend request. But if they don't want to be friends with me, it's easier for them and me if they just ignore my message saying "you can add me if you like" than for them to reject my friend request.
  • cpudoc64
    cpudoc64 Posts: 135
    Why is it that whenever someone posts explicitly looking for friends, most of the replies say "add me"? Why don't the repliers just add the person? Is this is a status thing? Like being added makes you a cooler and sought out person... as opposed to being the adder where you must be desperate and lonely? :P

    What's the deal?

    I agree with what you say but can you recommend a better way to add friends?
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Why is it that whenever someone posts explicitly looking for friends, most of the replies say "add me"? Why don't the repliers just add the person? Is this is a status thing? Like being added makes you a cooler and sought out person... as opposed to being the adder where you must be desperate and lonely? :P

    What's the deal?

    I agree with what you say but can you recommend a better way to add friends?

    Stalk them on the "what is hot about the person", "would you date the person", "hit,kick, lick or bite threads" Surely no one lie's on those.....
  • gwhizeh
    gwhizeh Posts: 269 Member
    Really depends in my mood and how the post was written. Sometimes I send a request and sometimes I do the old, add if you like. Sometimes they dont like lol. I admit when I started here, I felt like a total creeper just adding people. And i suspect others have that same feeling.
  • FourLynne
    FourLynne Posts: 135 Member
    I think people over-think sometimes. You always have the option not to add the person when they can't seem to follow your request. ;-)
  • labellecanuck
    labellecanuck Posts: 105 Member
    Some interesting points I didn't really think about. Especially feeling like a creeper or perv adding women. I just found the phenomenon funny. Like is there is endless cycle of "add me" ok "add me" where no one really gets added.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    I prefer to be chased and courted.
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    Because I'm vain and want to feel wanted
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    I am a receiver.
  • CharliesInCharge
    CharliesInCharge Posts: 278 Member
    pitching vs catching.. i guess it personal preference, either way you might get screwed
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    Because I'm vain and want to feel wanted

    Exactly.

    OP it's a control thing. Whoever sends the request is giving up their power.

    Don't EVER send a request.

    Actually . . it's cool. . . . you're a chick.
  • fungaaron9880
    fungaaron9880 Posts: 111
    haha ive always wondered this too. But I usually do a mix of adding and addee or whatever lol
  • HopeyC
    HopeyC Posts: 2 Member
    How do you add friends by name instead of sending an email?
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    I prefer to be spanked and bitten.

    fixed
  • Iron_Duchess
    Iron_Duchess Posts: 429 Member
    Why is it that whenever someone posts explicitly looking for friends, most of the replies say "add me"? Why don't the repliers just add the person? Is this is a status thing? Like being added makes you a cooler and sought out person... as opposed to being the adder where you must be desperate and lonely? :P

    What's the deal?

    I'd rather give them the choice to add me or not add me, than to accept or reject my friend request. If I've said to them "you can add me if you like" - I'm not going to reject their friend request. But if they don't want to be friends with me, it's easier for them and me if they just ignore my message saying "you can add me if you like" than for them to reject my friend request.

    ^^^ This^^ I always give them the choice and time to read my profile. Even when they are openly requesting friends and I offer, I don't always get added and that is ok.
  • Fit_Kenzie
    Fit_Kenzie Posts: 124
    Maybe they are just too lazy to send the FR.
  • Monkey_2013
    Monkey_2013 Posts: 19 Member
    Really depends in my mood and how the post was written. Sometimes I send a request and sometimes I do the old, add if you like. Sometimes they dont like lol. I admit when I started here, I felt like a total creeper just adding people. And i suspect others have that same feeling.

    I get that feeling!
  • MrsK20141004
    MrsK20141004 Posts: 489 Member
    For me it depends on what the person is asking for. If the description of the support they're looking for sounds like me, i'll do the adding with a quick note as to why I'm adding them. If they're not clear or I'm unsure, I'll say "add me" and give a quick write up like "log daily, still have 40 pounds to go" or whatever then they can do the adding if they want.
  • HopeyC
    HopeyC Posts: 2 Member
    Oops. Just found it :)
  • dangerousdumpling
    dangerousdumpling Posts: 1,109 Member
    Why is it that whenever someone posts explicitly looking for friends, most of the replies say "add me"? Why don't the repliers just add the person? Is this is a status thing? Like being added makes you a cooler and sought out person... as opposed to being the adder where you must be desperate and lonely? :P

    What's the deal?

    I can understand that mentality. For me it has nothing to do with status or control. I'm a shy person even with the anonymity of the internet.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    I dunno.
  • labellecanuck
    labellecanuck Posts: 105 Member
    Because I'm vain and want to feel wanted

    Exactly.

    OP it's a control thing. Whoever sends the request is giving up their power.

    Don't EVER send a request.

    Actually . . it's cool. . . . you're a chick.

    You could flip it around and say the adder is actually the one with the power because they're being the most proactive...
  • sshone1
    sshone1 Posts: 28 Member
    There is a creep factor to consider. Also, when you deny that persons request (when you asked for it by your post) they don't feel rejected! Not saying that happened to me... Just a thought. Feel free to add me.
  • livingfortheone
    livingfortheone Posts: 273 Member
    I'm always looking for friends to motivate, encourage and inspire! Add me!

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