Attention Issues

SaveTheDrama
SaveTheDrama Posts: 62
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
Does anyone else have a hard time dealing with the new attention from the opposite sex. I worked in retail when I was at my heaviest and just kind of faded into the surroundings, but now since I have gotten back into retail and have lost all this weight i have been getting attention and commpliments from guys about my appearance. I know this is not a bad thing, but I am not used to it and I don't know how to deal with it. I find myself shrinking away from people, because it is so overwhelming. Anyone else go through this male or female? What did you do to feel more comfortable? Does it get better?

Replies

  • miqisha
    miqisha Posts: 1,534 Member
    Love yourself baby....embrase your new found hotness....Congrats on the weight loss....its perfectly understandable you feeling the way you do.....Over time it will be like nothing to you......Its new so you will adjust over time

    Go you!!!!!
  • dmcpage
    dmcpage Posts: 66 Member
    This is really an issue of the mental/emotional not coming up to speed with the physical....and it's perfectly natural. In some ways you are still probably coming to terms with the new real you, and to know others in a public sphere are recognizing and appreciating can certainly be off-putting. Take it in stride, but take it all the same. You need to know you are worth and see what other people see. I know when I got to be my biggest, I still somehow felt like I was still single digit sized...and now that I am on the losing streak sometimes I still think I am plus-size. Find your happy medium of learning to say "thank you" and taking it for what it is...and flaunting what you got now. Great progress so far....truly amazing! Of course it's a bit shocking to blend into the surroundings and now be more of a center of attention, but you just have to go with it. :happy:
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
    All good comments above. Just want to suggest that you keep tabs on your reactions. This is especially important if your former size prevented you from dealing socially with men the way you are now able to.

    Don't fall into the trap of having a bad experience, romantically, and subconciously deciding you are more "comfortable" at a larger size because it keeps you from getting too much attention. I mention this, not because I am doubting that you can maintain, but rather so you don't go down the path someone I know did. She joined Jenny Craig and lost about 1/2 of herself, 150 lbs. and was at a normal weight for the first time in her adult life. She fell hard for someone who did not have her best interests at heart, and got hurt. She regained ALL of what she lost, and about another 100 lbs. of "interest.":sad: :sad:

    She eventually had gastric bypass, but her metabolism is so fouled up that even though it has been several years, I am not sure she is even back to the starting weight she had when she began JC. She only lost 20 lbs. her first year after surgery, and even that amount was a struggle.

    I am not trying to bring you down here, just want you to be self aware. Find ways to get comfortable with the attention. Don't get in too deep too fast and get your heart stomped on. Concentrate on enjoying the "new you" and being the kind of person who will attract the kind of guy you are looking for. Good luck!!!:flowerforyou:
  • SaveTheDrama
    SaveTheDrama Posts: 62
    All good comments above. Just want to suggest that you keep tabs on your reactions. This is especially important if your former size prevented you from dealing socially with men the way you are now able to.

    Don't fall into the trap of having a bad experience, romantically, and subconciously deciding you are more "comfortable" at a larger size because it keeps you from getting too much attention. I mention this, not because I am doubting that you can maintain, but rather so you don't go down the path someone I know did. She joined Jenny Craig and lost about 1/2 of herself, 150 lbs. and was at a normal weight for the first time in her adult life. She fell hard for someone who did not have her best interests at heart, and got hurt. She regained ALL of what she lost, and about another 100 lbs. of "interest.":sad: :sad:

    She eventually had gastric bypass, but her metabolism is so fouled up that even though it has been several years, I am not sure she is even back to the starting weight she had when she began JC. She only lost 20 lbs. her first year after surgery, and even that amount was a struggle.

    I am not trying to bring you down here, just want you to be self aware. Find ways to get comfortable with the attention. Don't get in too deep too fast and get your heart stomped on. Concentrate on enjoying the "new you" and being the kind of person who will attract the kind of guy you are looking for. Good luck!!!:flowerforyou:


    Don't worry I have been happily married for 4.5 years, to a man who loved me at my heaviest and is just thrilled with the new me. I always thought he was crazy for picking me, but I guess he saw more in me than I did. Its just the attention from strangers is overwhelming I still think I look the same as I always did sometimes.
  • antiadipose
    antiadipose Posts: 447
    isnt it soooooo rewarding?!
    i understand ur uncomfortable now... but i see so many ppl getting cocky after that point!
    i dont have advice on how to-not feel uncomfortable about it .. but plzzzz dont get cocky like my friends!
    just get confident =]
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