Will I ever learn it??

First: Bring a healthy snack to the party that you enjoy and can eat guilt free.

For me I just had to learn to say a few things to myself

"Do I want to be happy now for a little bit? Or happy later for longer?"
"Is it worth the calories?" If something is 200 calories and I only kinda enjoy it... it really isn't. If it is 100 calories and I love it, why not indulge a LITTLE bit. If it is 500 calories and I love it, can i just have a small bit?
"Will a feel guilty later?"

If someone is pressuring you, DO NOT be afraid to hurt their feelings by not trying the food. If they continue to pressure you for that reason aren't they hurting your feelings?
Here are some common thing people have said to me, and my answers

"Come on, one piece won't hurt you" "If I gave in every time I heard that It would"

"Children are starving in Africa" "And they will still be starving whether or no I eat that"

(We run a weight loss competition at work and I loved this one from another contestant)
"I don't get you, how can you always say no to the birthday cake. You are making us look bad!" I just shrugged and bit my tongue from saying, if you feel that you look bad from eating it then it is YOU making YOU look bad, not me!

A Side Note to remember: If you are eating something just so it doesn't go in the garbage.... then you are treating your body as a garbage can. Stop It! Your body and you deserves better.

I struggle with this because of appearances, not just the yummy food. I worry so much about what other people think of me. When I wasn't so big, it was easier to say no. But if the fat chic is eating, no one is going to think twice about it, but if she says "no" I start to think that they are thinking things like "she's not fooling anyone, we all know she'll go home and eat a bag of oreos" or "another failed weight loss attempt in progress." It probably doesn't help that when I wasn't fat, I had those sorts of thoughts about others.

Will I ever learn it?? Why don't I stop eating at a party? Al those delicious stuff, I just can't say the magic word: NO. I want to learn to eat in moderation when I'm at a party.

How long did it take y'all to actually say no (if you already took something to eat) at the second round?

with my experience, it took me about 6 months to get to the point where snacking or indulging in treats just wasnt an option

I struggle with this because of appearances, not just the yummy food. I worry so much about what other people think of me. When I wasn't so big, it was easier to say no. But if the fat chic is eating, no one is going to think twice about it, but if she says "no" I start to think that they are thinking things like "she's not fooling anyone, we all know she'll go home and eat a bag of oreos" or "another failed weight loss attempt in progress." It probably doesn't help that when I wasn't fat, I had those sorts of thoughts about others.

I think you will find that most people just aren't paying that much attention.

this. we are all human , and most people are so worried about themselves and what others are thinking of them too.

You could try just being a complete ***** all the time.

That way no-one will invite you to parties.

Hey, it works for me :-)

(that or focus on the idea of minimising damage rather than deprivation, I try to check out the food and make sure I'm only eating the things I REALLY want to eat).

Make sure you eat something healthy and filling before you go; empty hungry stomach can make it harder to stop, and party treats never seem to fill you up! If I know I'm going to eat something bad while I'm out I try to budget for it before I go, say 'ok I can spend 200 cals on treats' or something. But the actual willpower to say ENOUGH! Is really hard. Never give up trying to get it right, if you can get yourself in the right frame of mind it gets a lot easier. Never completely restrict yourself from your favourite 'bad foods' though or when you do give in, the binge will be ridiculously hard to stop.