Family not supportive at all!

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truly_crazy_me
truly_crazy_me Posts: 10
in Health and Weight Loss
Recently (January 21st) my mom had weight loss surgery, but doesn't follow her diet and is therefore not losing weight. She is quite upset about it. But I am consciously trying to eat healthier and lose weight. Normally I preplan my day of meals the night before. That way in the morning it's right there, I have no excuses. But every night when I spend an hour or so planning my meals I literally get insults flying at me from my family the entire time. "Planning your meals is dumb." "You're stupid for doing that." "Why do you do that? It's not like thats all you'll eat!" and I'll admit on occasion I eat something extra to what I pack but it really helps me to preplan and I stay on track more often than not. How do you guys deal with un-supportive friends/family? This insulting me and my choices is really getting on my last nerve!

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  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    Is there someplace else you could do your planning? A lot of time this behavior comes from people feeling guilty because they see you doing something that they should also be doing. If you were able to do it at the library or in your bedroom, they wouldn't have to watch.

    Also, an hour? I am not sure I spend that much time planning my weekly meals!
  • Joshalynn
    Joshalynn Posts: 12 Member
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    I use to live with my in-laws and any health food I bought, they'd look at like space food lol. I got so self conscious! Once they see your results they'll have to shut up. So just keep your head down for now and work hard, let prooving them wrong fuel your fire. Pretty soon you wont be hearing that anymore and maybe you'll even inspire some of them. Spend as much time doing your routine as you want. whatever helps!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    That is SO sad.

    I agree....do your planning out of sight of your family and don't talk about your weight loss plans. If they cant support you, they have no right to share in your success. JMHO.

    I have to say that people with the attitude your mother has is the reason her surgery wont work. If you don't fix the emotional problem that got you heavy, surgery isn't going to cure you.

    I consider myself fortunate that I have lots of supportive friends here....and my b/f is also supportive of my efforts, although he had to see results first because I tried to lose weight before and gave up, so he wanted to see that I was really serious this time. :)
  • hifromjamers1984
    hifromjamers1984 Posts: 300 Member
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    I agree that planning at an alternate location is a good idea. As for the rest...I personally use that negativity to fuel my fire to NOT be this way anymore. Maybe have a well thought out talk with your family and let them know how you feel when they say those hurtful things. Again, plan the talk out so no one feels like they are being attacked. Keep doing your thing and maybe you will inspire your family to make better choices. Hopefully this was helpful :)
  • SheHulkExtrodinaire
    SheHulkExtrodinaire Posts: 14 Member
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    I have the same issue. My husband actually preferred me when I was bigger and constantly brings home unhealthy foods- tonight he brought home a Dairy Queen Ice Cream Cake! I honestly wonder if I can stay with a person who is so unsupportive and actually tries to sabotage my efforts!
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
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    Why worry about what they think? Most people spend way too much time giving their power to others. Who cares if they don't like what you're doing? You're doing something for you, it isn't harming them so ignore it. Personally I'd probably throw it back and tell them to shut up or ridicule something they do but then again I've never had a doormat sign on my back.

    Don't let other people sway your determination. You don't need their help or support to live the way you want to.
  • Deanna149
    Deanna149 Posts: 147 Member
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    first of all, good job preplanning and prepping your meals, i hear yeah on the hour thing, take as much time as you need, tried this myself before and i think i even took longer cause i would precook everything and just have to heat it up, still do this now and then with certain things (just not everything as we are lacking the fridge room these days). try not to let the comments bother you, you know what you need to do for you, it can be frustrating and hard to ignore, but hang in there. soon they will see your serious and hopefully support you, have you tried having a heart to heart with them? that also may help, but if not just keep at it, you are doing this for you and you have tons a support here. good luck!
  • mozzie88
    mozzie88 Posts: 33
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    I live alone so I don't have the unsupportive family to deal with but I have really unsupportive friends! They are constantly nagging at me to go eat junk with them, telling me I don't eat enough, I even had one friend tell me I needed to stop losing weight or I would turn into "one of those" skinny people with no boobs... and as soon as I mention exercise no one wants to hang out. But you know what.. I really don't care! At the end of the day I'm doing this for a reason.. for me! I want to be healthy so as soon as they start moaning I tune out. Just remember why you are planning your meals and ignore all the negative.
  • GymMum8
    GymMum8 Posts: 28
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    Agree with others, pre-plan somewhere else. At the end of the day, they are only like this, as they are jealous and uncomfortable at the fact, that you are doing, what they probably wish they could.

    Well done on sticking with it, remember you are only doing this for you. Keep up the great work.




    Mel
  • KaraAlste
    KaraAlste Posts: 168 Member
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    Also, it takes an hour because they are distracting you. Get pissed and use that anger in the gym and to eat your meals. Plan elsewwere & when they wonder what you are up to politely decline including them.....you will see a change in no time. :)
  • Proyecto_AN
    Proyecto_AN Posts: 387
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    Pissed them off by being the best version of yourself.
  • garryt1980
    garryt1980 Posts: 44 Member
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    Yup, sounds like your whole family is satisfied with eating trash and are trying to undermine YOUR efforts by downplaying your meal planning. Truly sad but believable. What else is sad is that your mothers poor eating habits affected her health enough to warrant surgery and she is STILL determined not to change...

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