Feeling Guilty

Ok, I can already tell you that this post is likely irrational.

I have been on a weight-loss plan for over a year (tend to get about 1200-1400 cal/day). I normally always stay on plan except for a rare calculated cheat (which takes place just once every couple of months and then for only 1 meal). It has been pretty successful, but now that I have less than 15% of my weight to lose, I am struggling to lose every quarter pound. I know the scale is not a good measure, but that is how they measure my goal. (They also take measurements, but I only do that monthly).

Today I gave in to a craving I've had for over 3 weeks for a monster cookie. It was just 1 cookie, but I feel like I just blew all my good progress. I don't want to be set back by another 2 weeks. I've been told I am too stuck up in my head. I just want to be able to eat more like everyone else, but every time the scale doesn't budge for the week, it means a longer time on the restrictions. They have dismissed the idea of adding more calories to my diet unless we've tried all other on-plan options.

I am on day 5 of the 30 day shred and also took a 3 mile walk at a brisk pace in shape-up shoes. Do you think I've done irreparable damage? If you want to shake me, I apologize. Just really frustrated and stuck and had to give-in for a day. I waited 3 weeks before giving-in. My food journal is open if you want to look. Dinner is a salad with grilled chicken. Yum!

Thanks for letting me vent.

Replies

  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Who are "they"?

    ETA: This thread is because you ate one cookie?
  • shred_me_up
    shred_me_up Posts: 267 Member
    okay i think you need a break from your diet...clearly there are some mental effects starting to happen; its nothing to be ashamed of, heck after a whole year of restriction id feel guilty too! but no you definately have not done anything to hurt yourself or go backwards :) remember a pound is TDEE + 3500.

    seriously though, this isn't living if just eating a cookie gets you in this state. a diet should be a lifestyle change; you should eat in a way that is sustainable, that you can do for the rest of your life.
  • SueGeer
    SueGeer Posts: 1,169 Member
    One cookie is nothing to beat yourself up about :flowerforyou:
  • hausisse
    hausisse Posts: 90
    It was one cookie. It's certainly not going to ruin all of your progress; indulging once in a blue moon is good for your mental health, I believe. Don't feel badly, just keep being healthy and working hard :)
  • slimiranda
    slimiranda Posts: 15 Member
    You are being irrational but I totally know how you feel. I do this all the time then people tell me to snap out of it but I never listen... but I want you to listen!! It was ONE cookie!!! There is no such thing as irreparable damage, you need to live your life! This should be about balance and trust me, guilt and denying yourslef stuff are the worst feelings and will not help you on your journey.

    It has taken me 20 years of yo-yo dieting to realise this. I have had 5 councelling/hypnotherapy sessions and for the first time in 10 years I am happy and guilt free because I know this is my life now. So if I want fish and chips one weekend, I have it! Same goes for massive cookies, bithday cakes, etc etc, I eat whatever I want! I just make sure I make up for it somewhere else and log EVERYTHING that passess my lips. And you know what else, sometimes I have days where I eat whatever the hell I want, and I just make sure I work my *kitten* of the next week. You can't go back and change what you have done you have to just LET IT GO!! The more you dwell on it the more ****ty you will feel and this process should will not work if you beat yourself up over one little slip. You have to, HAVE TO let it go and not feel guilty!! What you are doing sound amazing, you are over thinking things. If you are close to your goal you need to star tthinking about how you want the rest of your life to be...

    Another thing is that doing 30 day shred is FANTASITIC, I am on day 26 and the progress I have made in terms of fittness and stamina and strength is phenominal BUT I haven't lost that much weight, about 8lbs I have like 70 more lbs to lose. Dont let that stop you though. I am soooooo much smaller from it.

    I know exactly how you feel about the weight thing. My entire mood for the day usually is determined by what I weigh in the morning, its so stupid!!!

    I hope that makes you feel better and dont sit there thinking "I know all this but I still feel bad!" FORGET IT OK?!!!
  • khayashi80
    khayashi80 Posts: 45 Member
    "They" are my weight loss counselors. They look at my food journal, they look at my calorie intake, etc...Normally a cookie, not a big deal, but because I've been struggling to lose for the last 2 months, they've been really looking at my journals and calories. I guess it got to me.

    Thanks for the encouragement. I'll suck it up, and move on from it. Keeping active helps!
  • TJMiddaugh
    TJMiddaugh Posts: 67 Member
    enjoy your cookie.... you earned it.

    one thing i became aware of lately is "net cals" and "gross cals" you should read up on this and make some little adjustments accordingly (if you are not already) it really is about your weekly deficits, not just daily. so if you calculate you burn 250 gross cals (just a ball park figure here, and gross cals is what you typically get from sights like this or any standard heart rate monitoring machine) well, your resting metabolic rate is added into that also (the calories you would have burned anyways, just exsisting) so basically when you put in your age, weight, and height. the number it generates for you is what the amount of calories it takes for you to exist a day (depending on your specific set goals). you can divide that by 24 (hours in a day) and you can figure out how many cals it takes to live 1 hour. then lets say the number is 60 calories an hour. you walk for a half hour and burn 250 cals, then you would minus half of 60 (30, because it was just a half hour) from 250 and you get your net cals burned through actuall exersice of 220. and times this by 7 days a week and you have 210 extra calories/week and 840 extra cals/month and so on.. that could mean the difference of weight management and weight loss. i would assume for women it would be more critical because your calories are between 1200-1500 typically anyways. compared to a guy who is 2300+ every few extra calories really makes a difference when trying to break through those last few plateaus. im just trying to give you something else to think about not stress on :) one cookie will not ruin your results as long as everything is accounted for, and it happens as rarely as you say it happens, there shouldnt be anything to worry about. relax and enjoy you hard work a little. stress is one of the most negatively impacting factors to overall health.

    losing weight is only a part of well bieng, our happiness is another. there is no sense on trying to lose a bunch of weight if it just going to cause a bunch of undue stress about it. your doing great enjoy it

    i recently purchased a polar FT1 heart rate monitor (wrist watch and chest strap) from amazon for a decently cheap price. now when i exercise i can track my average heart rate during that time period and calculate exactly how many calories i am burning through exercise (from online sites that do the math for you) instead of using ball park figures that this site offers. it is much more efficient for tracking "calories burned" (also make sure its net not gross!) and "calories in" for best results when your in that "fine tuning" area. or tough to lose period. everybody's body and heart rate responds different to exercise and the figures given here are just based upon averages.

    just fyi I hope some of this might have been helpful to you. have a great day!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I clicked on your profile... do you SEE what you've already accomplished? Holy crap, that's amazing! One cookie is not going to undo that. That's nothing to feel guilty about. Ever.
  • starcatcher1975
    starcatcher1975 Posts: 292 Member
    "They" are my weight loss counselors. They look at my food journal, they look at my calorie intake, etc...Normally a cookie, not a big deal, but because I've been struggling to lose for the last 2 months, they've been really looking at my journals and calories. I guess it got to me.

    Thanks for the encouragement. I'll suck it up, and move on from it. Keeping active helps!

    I understand what you're saying but at the same time yes, you are being a little irrational. When you reach "goal" are you going to never eat a cookie again for the rest of your life? It's 1 cookie, not a dozen. Your last 2 sentences here sum it up- move on from it and keeping active helps. 1 cookie isn't going to undo all of your progress, keep up the great work!

    ETA: looking at your ticker you've lost over 150# How amazing is that?! 1 cookie is definitely NOT going to bring all that back!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    I didn't read the replies, so sorry if someone already said this, but they were really wordy...


    When you get to maintenance, it's not "over". You aren't on restriction. You should be eating closer to your maintenance calories at this point. With so few pounds to lose, it's time to get on the Eat More to Weigh Less bandwagon.

    You want to ease into maintenance, not go from 1300 cals to 2200 overnight!! You should have been slowly raising your intake over time. How did you get to this point and still be set at 1200???




    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819055-setting-your-calorie-and-macro-targets

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/186814-some-mfp-basics


    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/61706-guide-to-calorie-deficits
  • khayashi80
    khayashi80 Posts: 45 Member
    I didn't read the replies, so sorry if someone already said this, but they were really wordy...


    When you get to maintenance, it's not "over". You aren't on restriction. You should be eating closer to your maintenance calories at this point. With so few pounds to lose, it's time to get on the Eat More to Weigh Less bandwagon.

    You want to ease into maintenance, not go from 1300 cals to 2200 overnight!! You should have been slowly raising your intake over time. How did you get to this point and still be set at 1200???




    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819055-setting-your-calorie-and-macro-targets

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/186814-some-mfp-basics


    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/61706-guide-to-calorie-deficits

    I have read these articles, and while I agree about it, my weight loss counselors feel that I should not be increasing my intake, though I have brought it up. They are taking a wait and see type of attitude. If their methods don't budge me, then they are willing to change the plan a bit. Thank you for all your responses. It is encouraging. I will let it go, stay active, and continue to monitor how my progress is going, pushing for change if I have to.
  • divaindy
    divaindy Posts: 108 Member
    I did not read what everyone else wrote...but something you said...you want to eat like everyone else.....Well guess what some of us just NEVER will be able to.....it's just a reality.....sorry.......we just go back to where we were

    And I read some of your profile stuff 159 lbs. WOW!! one cookie will not undo,hang in there one day at a time,and you know you love being where you are NOW.
    Nothing tastes as good as healthy and thin feels!
  • dsgoingtodoit
    dsgoingtodoit Posts: 803 Member
    I'll keep this short...because so many folks have said this far better than I could...
    YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!!!
    Your weight loss is nothing short of amazing...and inspiring.
    Much research would tell you...the occasional calorie spike is important to the metabolism.
    So your team of professionals will frown about the cookie...so what....
    If you start eating cookies all the time...then there will be time to be concerned.
    Don't let the sugar that you ate become your norm again. You probably know...your body is going to crave more
    of it now that you had that taste again...
    so be prepared...and head it off at the pass by doing whatever is your norm these days to combat cravings.
    I carry an apple or orange just about everywhere I go.
    You know, better than anyone else, just how hard you have worked. You do not, and will not, go back to living
    as you did before - because your health is worth it.

    Get back on your plan...embrace the fact that you made a choice...and do what it takes to keep moving toward your goal.
    As you know...every loss is harder the smaller you get. So...every oz lost is a reason to be motivated! ;D

    Best of luck to you...and keep pushing forward!
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    "They" are my weight loss counselors. They look at my food journal, they look at my calorie intake, etc...Normally a cookie, not a big deal, but because I've been struggling to lose for the last 2 months, they've been really looking at my journals and calories. I guess it got to me.

    Thanks for the encouragement. I'll suck it up, and move on from it. Keeping active helps!

    Maybe this isn't the best method for you anymore. You should be setting your own goals, not some bored of shadow-y figures. If your body is very resistant, there could be a good reason for it. I can tell you that I sit about 10% above my ideal because that is where my body will maintain at 1,800-2,100 calories, which is what I can live with for the rest of my life.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    Calm down you will be ok. Seriously. CALM DOWN.
  • Sharkington
    Sharkington Posts: 485
    Yes, I think you are being irrational. One cookie is not going to ruin your progress and to be quite honest, thinking like that will make your fitness journey more difficult, imo. I was going to say a lot more, but i don't know you and don't want to assume much about your relationship with food based on one post, but seriously, you're okay. One cookie can't ruin weeks worth of progress, so just chiiiill. :flowerforyou:
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Unless that monster cookie was a few thousand calories, I think you'll be ok! Carry on!
  • Gidzmo
    Gidzmo Posts: 905 Member
    Ok, I can already tell you that this post is likely irrational.

    I have been on a weight-loss plan for over a year (tend to get about 1200-1400 cal/day). I normally always stay on plan except for a rare calculated cheat (which takes place just once every couple of months and then for only 1 meal). It has been pretty successful, but now that I have less than 15% of my weight to lose, I am struggling to lose every quarter pound. I know the scale is not a good measure, but that is how they measure my goal. (They also take measurements, but I only do that monthly).

    Today I gave in to a craving I've had for over 3 weeks for a monster cookie. It was just 1 cookie, but I feel like I just blew all my good progress. I don't want to be set back by another 2 weeks. I've been told I am too stuck up in my head. I just want to be able to eat more like everyone else, but every time the scale doesn't budge for the week, it means a longer time on the restrictions. They have dismissed the idea of adding more calories to my diet unless we've tried all other on-plan options.

    I am on day 5 of the 30 day shred and also took a 3 mile walk at a brisk pace in shape-up shoes. Do you think I've done irreparable damage? If you want to shake me, I apologize. Just really frustrated and stuck and had to give-in for a day. I waited 3 weeks before giving-in. My food journal is open if you want to look. Dinner is a salad with grilled chicken. Yum!

    Thanks for letting me vent.

    Why are you on this diet? Doctor's orders?

    It's difficult to stay on a plan--you've done great so far. ONE monster cookie isn't going to be the end of the world. You haven't done irreparable damage. It's probably normal to not see change right off. Give yourself credit for the good stuff you've been doing.
  • PiperGabrielle
    PiperGabrielle Posts: 31 Member
    I don't understand why a cookie would cause guilt. You can diet while still having little snacks now and then. I even go out for fast food and stay under my calorie goal. Do some sit-ups, run in place, jog up and down the stairs. The cookie will come off.