What do you guys think?

MColette
MColette Posts: 62
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
Ok, I've been listening to other person's stories (friends, acquaintances, etc) about their struggle with weight through the years and something keeps popping out in very single thing I read.
How we like to blame other people for our failures, mistakes, and weight gain. For example I read one person blaming her ex husband for making her obese cause of the way he made her life miserable , even though that happened almost 15 years ago, she keeps looking back to that situation and blaming him for how she is so overweight nowadays, or even more common pregnancies, come on girls! When the kid is like 10 years old or something, that’s no baby weight anymore, why keep blaming it on the kid!

I gained the weight I’m loosing with pregnancy, but I know it wasn’t just the process, but how I handled it what made me gain all the weight, like how I didn’t work out very much or kept myself more active and, oh yes! How I used to pig out., and eat whatever I wanted just because I was pregnant .

So I will never say that the baby made me gain weight, it was a series of decisions I took before, during and after pregnancy, cause if you do it the right way, you get back in shape very fast, specially if you are breastfeeding.

In my personal opinion, and experience, when you stop blaming somebody else but you, it is really when you start solving your issues, I gained weight because I had a horrible diet and I wasn’t very active, not because of my ex husband, (unless he fed me cupcakes by force or something), or maybe because I was depressed and I took the decision of comforting myself with food, but ME, not my mother or my babies or my ex-husband or whatever.

What do you guys think?

Replies

  • lilchino4af
    lilchino4af Posts: 1,292 Member
    I agree with your statement that it's our actions/responses to other people's actions that put us in the state we find ourselves in. By continually shifting the blame to someone else, it makes changing that much harder because people are taking responsibility for their own actions and the problem they're trying to change will just come back. Now granted, some posts aren't saying those factors were to blame, but merely circumstances that presented the opportunity for them to make/take poor choices, which is great to share because it lets us know they realise what got them to their current state and they know what they need to do to change; understanding how you let yourself go is half the battle in winning the war.
  • kelkenneally
    kelkenneally Posts: 6 Member
    :smile: WELL SAID...
  • Nina74
    Nina74 Posts: 470 Member
    I agree with you that yes, a lot of people blame other things, situations, etc. People also put a lot of excuses out there why they don't eat/exercise and make up excuses to hold them back (even if they don't realize they are holding themselves back). I think when I finally hit "bottom"/my largest I had been, I FINALLY had to admit to myself that *I* had done this to myself. The only thing to blame was me and my unhealthy reactions to people/situations, etc. No one held a gun to my head and made me eat or not exercise. Then I went through a phase I was really angry with myself for letting myself get that way/that bad. It has almost been like the process of grieving. Now I'm at the point where I feel focused and determined.
  • Paul76
    Paul76 Posts: 158
    There will always be reasons, but at the end of the day we each choose what we put in our mouths and choose whether to sit on the couch or get up and be active. No one to blame but ourselves, and no one can change it but us.

    Accountability and responsibility is key. On the bright side, when we are successful we get all the credit!
  • smuehlbauer
    smuehlbauer Posts: 1,041 Member
    A-fricken-men!
  • crking
    crking Posts: 175
    Totally agree! I think we all have been there...at least I know I have. You can't blame depression as a reason for your weight gain....it was your choice to find food as comfort. You can can't blame an ex or friend or whoever because you are the one who let food be your comfort or let yourself be lazy. I truly believe that number one rule to changing is admitting to the problem and in this case...until YOU realize it was YOUR decision to put all that food in your mouth or let yourself go, you won't be able to accomplish the goals you want to. It motivates me to know that I can support myself and make myself happy by all of my accomplishments...although I know the support I have had the whole way through has been a big factor...but I know that if anything goes wrong, I have myself to keep me going!
  • StarryEyedGirl
    StarryEyedGirl Posts: 585
    TRU DAT! when we learn to take on responsibilty that is when we "gain" control of our lives and loose the weight or acheieve whatever it is we keep failing at!!
  • KellyBurton1
    KellyBurton1 Posts: 529 Member
    One word "Depression" I didnt care if I lived or died. I didnt care what I put in my body. I sure hell do now! 85lbs gone with a no **** attitude on the side.
  • hkystar
    hkystar Posts: 1,290 Member
    I think yes and no. I have been fat for a very long time. Mostly due to bad role models and a bad motivation system. HOWEVER, there have been lots of time since then that I could have changed myself and started on the right track and didnt. The only person I can really blame is myself for staying fat. But thats why I am here, to fix that. The only person who can fix it is the one who caused it!
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