Those Pesky Insecurities...

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baileybiddles
baileybiddles Posts: 457 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone,

I realized after a long talk with my fiance last night how truly, unbelievably insecure I am, and this is in everything. In my weight and appearance, in my relationship, just in life in general. I am jealous and insecure.

I need tips on how to get past this. I have lost 11 pounds so far, and I have become slightly more confident in this, but I continually look at how far I have to GO and not how far I have come. It's frustrating.

How do you guys get past your insecurities?

Replies

  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    I challenge them on a daily basis.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
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    Do as Nike says and just do it.

    Cliche answer
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    I challenge them on a daily basis.

    This has to be the best thought of the day I crown you MFP King today. Challenge them dont let them win.

    BTW this thought gets stolen for my motivational quote thing.
  • lotushead
    lotushead Posts: 200 Member
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    prescriptions, music, sex. :smokin: or I call my mom and ball my eyes out. Depending on the insecurity.
  • gogoyubarino
    gogoyubarino Posts: 104 Member
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    Hi everyone,

    I realized after a long talk with my fiance last night how truly, unbelievably insecure I am, and this is in everything. In my weight and appearance, in my relationship, just in life in general. I am jealous and insecure.

    I need tips on how to get past this. I have lost 11 pounds so far, and I have become slightly more confident in this, but I continually look at how far I have to GO and not how far I have come. It's frustrating.

    How do you guys get past your insecurities?

    I haven't gotten past mine. Doubt I ever will. Some things have become less 'sharp' in my mind, eventhough they still are things I think about and I suspect this has something to do with age.
  • morgynsmama
    morgynsmama Posts: 83
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    I look in the mirror and see honey boo boos mom. I think its different for everyone. I gained no confidence, in weight loss.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
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    I think as long as we gauge our self-worth by what other people think of us we will be insecure. You are awesome just as you are... because you are the only you on this planet... because you are unique and a perfectly awesome, one-of-a-kind creation and that you will live a life that is unique to you and you will impact others in a way that no one else will. You have something special to offer the world that will come only from you.

    Your body is not you. Your job is not you. Your partner is not you. None of these things are a reflection of your infinite worth.

    That's all I got. Well, okay... that's not true. But I'll stop there.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    the thing is there is always someone who is thinner/prettier/earns more money/has a bigger house/has better hair.... whatever whatever whatever....

    you just have to learn not to care as theres no point.... be the best you and work on enjoying your life not being jealous of everybody elses....
  • kooltray87
    kooltray87 Posts: 501 Member
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    I can tell ya that if you don't change your ways will definitely self sabotage every thing you do in life. If you know when you are being insecure/jealous make the "conscious" effort to approach the situation in a different manner instead of just going along with your negative feelings. If you are already aware of your faults that's half the battle. Now just do the opposite of what have been doing.
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
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    I challenge them on a daily basis.

    Jokerclapping_zps7f139b77.gif
  • witchieboo
    witchieboo Posts: 43 Member
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    Remember what you are good at. Don't let people bad comments get to you. Put the past behind you. Just the weight is going down focus on small goal. My whole life I have thought of myself as not as good as others. And even after 55 years I still after problems seeing that. It has nothing to do with weight.
  • moo1907
    moo1907 Posts: 24
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    I'm an insecure person and get quite jealous. For every bad thing I dont like about my appearance I make myself come up with something that I do like and a way to hide the parts I dont. I hate my stomache but I like my eyes so I spend alot of time doing my eye make up for work and hide my stomach with layering or oversized accessories. I'm insecure about my relationship because I find it hard to understand why he loves me and find it hard to trust other people but we are very open about who and what we are attracted to which in a weird way makes me feel better because then I feel like we have no secrets. I think maybe you should focus on your good points more :) If you've lost 11 Ibs already thats brilliant! Why dont you have a look at your pics before you lost the weight so that you can see how the changes are starting to show :) The more comfortable I am in my own skin the happier I am in general and the less insecure I feel. Just remember that every journey is made up of small stepping stones and while it isn't always easy, each stone you land on brings you closer to the start of your next journey :)
  • hschlosser
    hschlosser Posts: 3
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    The long battle of losing weight can be super frustrating. I also struggle with insecurity. I believe it's more than just a physical battle, it is mental as well. One technique that is hard, but can be helpful, is every time you get a negative thought in that head of yours, think something positive instead. Say.."stop." and insert positive thought instead. I came up with a mantra...a phrase that I would say to myself anytime these negative thoughts came into my mind. Such as: "I am loved, worthy, happy and whole."

    As for only focusing on how far you have to GO instead of how far you have come...I hate to say it, but the answer here is never give up. I lost 70 pounds over 3 years, and it wasn't easy. There were tears, and fits of anger...of course we want it to come off right away, and I personally get super anxious when the scale hasn't changed in several days, yet i am putting forth tons of effort to make it happen. The truth of the matter is...if you workout and eat a healthy balanced diet...you WILL lose weight, but its going to take time..and then one day you will wake up at your goal and have a sense of pride because you did it! You stuck it out, you worked hard and you made it happen, and that, I believe will help build your self confidence as well. If you are having a especially mopey day, where you feel super depressed like you will never get there and you just want to lay there and sulk...get your booty up and do a workout! Use that frustration and turn it into fuel for your goal. Thats what I do, if I am feeling terrible I force myself out the door with the dog, or do some abs...and you know what, I always feel better afterwards.

    Great accomplishments don't come easy. Fight, don't give up, embrace your human body and mind and make it happen.

    Hope I offered at least some inspiration. :smile:
  • baileybiddles
    baileybiddles Posts: 457 Member
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    You guys rock. It's hard, every day it's hard, but I try more and more lately to not be so "crazy". I DO think the weight loss will bring a whole new confidence forth. I've always been confident in myself and my abilities but my appearence drags it down.

    I suppose that if my fiance wanted to leave, he would've left by now. If he wanted a skinnier, prettier woman, he'd get one. I should be happy with that.
  • baileybiddles
    baileybiddles Posts: 457 Member
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    I'm an insecure person and get quite jealous. For every bad thing I dont like about my appearance I make myself come up with something that I do like and a way to hide the parts I dont. I hate my stomache but I like my eyes so I spend alot of time doing my eye make up for work and hide my stomach with layering or oversized accessories. I'm insecure about my relationship because I find it hard to understand why he loves me and find it hard to trust other people but we are very open about who and what we are attracted to which in a weird way makes me feel better because then I feel like we have no secrets. I think maybe you should focus on your good points more :) If you've lost 11 Ibs already thats brilliant! Why dont you have a look at your pics before you lost the weight so that you can see how the changes are starting to show :) The more comfortable I am in my own skin the happier I am in general and the less insecure I feel. Just remember that every journey is made up of small stepping stones and while it isn't always easy, each stone you land on brings you closer to the start of your next journey :)

    This is everything I needed to hear today. Honestly. My fiance and I are the same way, very open and honest about what we're attracted to and what we like. For some reason, if he says how hot Mila Kunis is, it angers me, but then I get over it because it doesn't matter. It's just more close to home things that I have a hard time letting go of. He is fiercely loyal and I know it... But it doesn't stop me from being jealous.
  • tubbyelmo
    tubbyelmo Posts: 415 Member
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    I used to be so insecure I struggled to get myself out the house, and yes, losing weight has helped a bit with my self-confidence. Changing the level of importance I give to what others think of me (or what I think they think of me) was the big turn around. I now reckon folk can just accept me as I am or not bother with me at all - I'm done with trying to bend over backwards trying to be what I thought people wanted me to be - that was way too much hard work! I'm in my early 40's now, perhaps this comes with age.

    I'm in a great relationship but I still have moments when I feel jealous, might never conquer that one, never been jealous of how someone else looks, I just tell myself one day I will look more like that.

    I'm sure very few of your friends or colleagues will even realise how insecure you feel, we become such good actors, I'm sure if you confide in a friend they will tell you they often feel like that too - no matter how confident and together someone seems, we all have our insecure moments.

    I'm worse in the few days before TOM, I use Bach Rescue Remedy to help me on days that are really bad.

    Someone once told me we are all perfect in our own way, so you are the perfect YOU, there is nobody else just like you, sometimes we need to learn to love ourselves the way others do.

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