Not being a televangelist

Options
newloafofbread
newloafofbread Posts: 46 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So I started trying to lose weight about 2 months ago and so far have had success. The problem I'm having is that it's so time consuming and right now is requiring a lot of my attention. When I first started I felt like everyone was on board with me... and then slowly I've felt like everyone has hopped off the wagon and left me there. When I first started losing weight I felt like everyone around me was super happy for me, and we all wanted to start being healthy together, and slowly as I've lost more weight no one seems to care. I finally lost enough this week to go down a size and I'm really, really happy for myself, but even my boyfriend doesn't seem very interested.

I know I'm doing this for myself, but it's frustrating. Weight loss is something I have to think about every time I go to my kitchen, but I know no one else wants to hear about it all day long. But I also do want someone to be proud of me when I've lost this much.

How does everyone else find a balance?
«1

Replies

  • icimani
    icimani Posts: 1,454 Member
    Options
    I know what you mean.

    I try not to talk about it until I've reached some goal like a mini-weight goal or a certain size I've been wanting to reach. Other than that, I feel like people don't want to hear it.

    But sometimes I think people notice, but just don't say anything. It's a very personal thing, and sometimes no matter what people say it might be taken the wrong way and a compliment is taken as an insult.
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Options
    What does this have to do with being or not being a televangelist?
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
    Options
    What does this have to do with being or not being a televangelist?

    Yeah this confused me as well.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    Options
    Assuming that you've only been at this since January, give it time to become more "routine". As you're discovering, the novelty of it all will wear off - people will stop noticing - or at least, the attention will die down.

    And then what? Are you really doing it for you, or for the attention?
  • mamalizpdx
    mamalizpdx Posts: 11
    Options
    Oh Yes.. This is why I am on this site. I lost 42# on my own. There is no doubt I became a diet *kitten*! So, I am here to get my encouragement. I have also started planning my "food" day. I know what I am going to eat and I weight measure and calculate and post one time. It does not take as much time. If I change up or add a apple or something I just add it at the end of the day.. then start all over for the next day.. Good Luck
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    Options
    This is why I'm here on MFP. No one else wants to hear about it...
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Options
    MFP is a great place for it - take that and run with it! We're all here for fitness related goals, so it's a safe and encouraging community. My loved ones take only the most tertiary interest in my body habits, so I come here. Redefining our bodies can be very exciting and trying to force it on other people can be very discouraging.

    This a safe place. Use it.
  • gatorginger
    gatorginger Posts: 947 Member
    Options
    In the beginning we all probably talked about it too much. After awhile the subject will calm down. People aren't gonna compliment you every day on your loss but when they do it will put a big grin on your face. Trust me people do notice but it gets to be old news for them after awhile
  • mumb3th
    mumb3th Posts: 36
    Options
    I hear ya too! As a mom and wife I'm used to nobody being my cheerleader, I only cheer for them. I don't expect anyone to cheer for me anymore (except my Mum). Its nice to have MFP as my cheerleading team! Without it I wouldn't be encouraged at all. Good luck sticking with it even without real-life encouragement, I'll be here if you need a new cheerleader!
  • linnaeus
    linnaeus Posts: 36 Member
    Options
    What does this have to do with being or not being a televangelist?

    I assume because she feels like she's talking about something no one else seems to want to talk about.

    I get ALL of my support and motivation online. I have friends that want to lose weight but don't commit to a regimen and certainly don't commit to a diet. I've literally wasted over a year waiting for friends to get on the wagon to start with me at the same time. I'm sick of being overweight and I'm fine doing it on my own and actively finding the motivation/support I need from strangers(took a while!). But you can always go to group classes or meetups and try to meet motivational people IRL, it's just not for me. My SO knows I'm on a diet and knows which foods I want to avoid and supports both of us eating healthy, but we don't talk about my regimen or calories or exercise. That's just for you folks :)
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
    Options
    I keep a weight loss blog, and I follow other weight loss bloggers. I actually feel more of a connection to them than my MFP friends since we all tend to blog daily or every other day and talk about more than weight loss.

    I also announce it on Facebook. I limit the updates to once every few weeks or so, which isn't hard since I only update when I lose another ten pounds or hit an important mini-goal (like getting under 300 pounds). I post my current comparison pictures along with the 10-pound milestone. I've noticed that I usually get as many comments/likes as I do on my birthday, usually around 90-100. It's nice to know a large percentage of my friends are excited about my weight loss, so I don't feel nervous about posting anymore. I don't post gym check-ins or workout updates, but some of my friends do, and I encourage them. Some people have their Nike run app connected to Facebook.

    A few of my friends are doing Weight Watchers, and they tend to post their weekly weigh-ins on Facebook. I've found myself looking forward to Saturdays since that's when a lot of my friends (blogs and WW) weigh-in and post their results. :)
  • newloafofbread
    newloafofbread Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    What does this have to do with being or not being a televangelist?

    Yeah this confused me as well.

    I just meant that I'm having a hard time not rambling on to everyone about how I'm losing weight, especially when I can tell they don't want to hear about it. But it's really frustrating to not be able to talk about it and encourage everyone around me to work out or whatever when it's consuming so much of my attention.
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Options
    Assuming that you've only been at this since January, give it time to become more "routine". As you're discovering, the novelty of it all will wear off - people will stop noticing - or at least, the attention will die down.

    And then what? Are you really doing it for you, or for the attention?

    Exactly- the novelty wears off, and people who see you daily might not notice the difference because, well, they see you every day. Last year, I lost 25 lbs. The only person who noticed was my boss who had been on vacation for two weeks, and friends and family who I hadn't seen in a month or two. Everyone loves hearing "good job!" or "you look great!" of course but be careful not to let that be the measure of your success.

    This a common reason for people to be on MFP too. I find more consistent support here and at Curves because I'm surrounded by people who are dedicated to making healthy changes. Friends, family, coworkers, etc. might all "want to lose weight" too but that's not the same as taking steps to ensure accountability and success.
  • newloafofbread
    newloafofbread Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    I keep a weight loss blog, and I follow other weight loss bloggers. I actually feel more of a connection to them than my MFP friends since we all tend to blog daily or every other day and talk about more than weight loss.

    I also announce it on Facebook. I limit the updates to once every few weeks or so, which isn't hard since I only update when I lose another ten pounds or hit an important mini-goal (like getting under 300 pounds). I post my current comparison pictures along with the 10-pound milestone. I've noticed that I usually get as many comments/likes as I do on my birthday, usually around 90-100. It's nice to know a large percentage of my friends are excited about my weight loss, so I don't feel nervous about posting anymore. I don't post gym check-ins or workout updates, but some of my friends do, and I encourage them. Some people have their Nike run app connected to Facebook.

    A few of my friends are doing Weight Watchers, and they tend to post their weekly weigh-ins on Facebook. I've found myself looking forward to Saturdays since that's when a lot of my friends (blogs and WW) weigh-in and post their results. :)


    I actually keep a weight loss blog, too, but sometimes I put my personal thoughts about how hard it is to be significantly overweight or cruel things people have done to me since I gained. I know how the internet is so I haven't told ANYONE about it yet. Not even my SO who lives with me. I'm really afraid of having some random idiot leaving a rude comment about how I'm fat and should kill myself or something, I mean seriously, we've seen 4chan...

    Sometimes I post on FB but no one seems terribly interested. It's not worth reaching out to FB for encouragement when no one even says anything about it, right?
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
    Options
    What does this have to do with being or not being a televangelist?

    Yeah this confused me as well.

    I just meant that I'm having a hard time not rambling on to everyone about how I'm losing weight, especially when I can tell they don't want to hear about it. But it's really frustrating to not be able to talk about it and encourage everyone around me to work out or whatever when it's consuming so much of my attention.

    The first few months of losing weight are particularly exciting. Once you get into a routine for a while, the novelty might wear off for you too- I don't mean you'll stop caring...I just mean it will become such a regular part of your life that it won't stand out to you as something totally new and exciting.

    I used to tell my mom about every pound I lost...but that backfired because sometimes I would stop talking about it and she would assume that I had fallen off the wagon (and sometimes I had) and it made me feel self-conscious because I felt more pressure. Like, if I tell everyone how much weight I'm losing, I feel like they're going to expect this fast, drastic change. Being accountable is great but I try not to talk about it TOO much- I might talk about a fun workout video I found or a great recipe I tried, but I avoid talking about the scale (except on MFP and at Curves) because I want to focus on my own goals and expectations and not get consumed with others' expectations for me.
  • Admiral_Derp
    Admiral_Derp Posts: 866 Member
    Options
    *writes you a tithe check*
  • tartsul
    tartsul Posts: 298 Member
    Options
    i'm sorry to hear that! it can be disheartening. i am so thankful that my husband is very supportive of me, and there are people at my work who are into health and fitness too, so that's helpful too! another thing that really helps me is MFP friends! i saw you only have 3 :( you need to add more! they are a great source of encouragement! feel free to add me if you like!!!
  • newloafofbread
    newloafofbread Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    i'm sorry to hear that! it can be disheartening. i am so thankful that my husband is very supportive of me, and there are people at my work who are into health and fitness too, so that's helpful too! another thing that really helps me is MFP friends! i saw you only have 3 :( you need to add more! they are a great source of encouragement! feel free to add me if you like!!!


    Ah yeah, I do... they are all people I know personally. Never really thought about adding someone I met on MFP.
  • JoanB5
    JoanB5 Posts: 610 Member
    Options
    Doing it WITH a spouse is ideal. No joke, speaking of tele-evangelist, I've prayed about it. Because alone, it is very hard. He came around. He was inspired, was looking for company working out, jumped on board, and has lost 17 pounds or so since Christmas. So very thankful!

    While waiting, yes, find encouragers who have similar goals to you here. Most of us could talk about it all day. And celebrate! I go to Goodwill for a new pair of pants or jeans or a new top. No one else may notice, but that's okay. I feel better, look better, and I'm on a journey.

    I saw one doctor's advice that said, "don't tell anyone what you are doing." I think the reason is because the journey has to be yours. Your rational, your plan, your work. No one else can do it for you. This time around, I've told few friends because often, when they do not stay with it, I don't either.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    Options
    We're all proud of you!

    and, Honey, don't ride the bandwagon, DRIVE it. That way, if everyone jumps off, you're still progressing.

    ETA: and as for having someone to talk to about it, that's is part of what MFP is for. Add some more friends.

Categories