Depression getting in the way

I haven't been diagnosed or anything, but I do have bouts of severe depression and with school on top of all that, you can imagine how my lifestyle gets put on the back burner for a while. I just listen to my body, for me it is important to not rush things and just go at my own pace and if I am having a bad day I try to just keep the food down to a minimum and when things are going well I go for it as much as I can.
That's probably no use to you at all but I hope it helped in some sense

I know they hate it when you "advertise" non MFP blogs but I have written much on the subject and my struggles with it on my blog www.rainhoward.blogspot.com and if reading any of it helps one person then I'm happy.

Everyday I remind myself that if i'm not going to end my life (and I am not, because if I do I am free but my loved ones will have to live with the grief forever and I cannot bear for my father and grandma to go through that), I will have to learn to love myself! And when I love myself I will want to treat myself right, which includes treating one's body right with the right nutrition and exercise to a healthier self psychologically and physically. I remind myself as much as possible, that I am worth it, that I know that I am strong enough to choose health and to get my life back. Positivity is everything. I am learning to take things slow and set little goals for myself everyday. I try to not kill myself over mistakes and focus on becoming better the next minute and day. Just remind yourself that it is pointless in wallowing in regrets, and even if you have bad days do not let that become an excuse to mope! Everyone have bad days and you must learn to move on from it!

Agree with exercising and endorphins! Also good to find an exercise buddy. Forcing yourself to go out helps too, just a smile from a stranger can make my day! I find helping people makes me happy too! I also try to not be alone too much, and also learning to not deprive from anything.

If your 'solutions' don't work immediately don't give up! Keep trying, force yourself if you have to at the beginning, and eventually it will become a habit!! Do something everyday that makes you happy (a nice long shower, calling a friend, having tea, going shopping, watching a show, laying down and doing nothing etc.)

Also agree with the previous poster that said focus on health first and not weight loss!! And it helps with eating a lot I am also learning to enjoy every bite of food I eat, get excited planning what to eat next and get to eat a variety of stuff because I am slowly learning moderation! (as opposed to binging and hence only having to look forward to how to compensate and that gets overwhelming and hence I give up and it is just really a terrible cycle!!)

Triumph of the Will .

Sure I know the depression lurks there, together with unmedicated (MONEY,OK?!) bipolar I sometimes feel like ticking bomb.
BUT:
I remember how I felt when I gave up. When I didnt get up in the morning, when I didnt work out, When I pigged out on food.
When I looked in the mirror and saw this once cute lil girl drowning in fat.
THAT I dont want to come back to, in anyway.

The thing that caused my depression will never go away , I know, we got one set of parents and no ability to ressurect people IRL.
Its fine.
I learned to live with it, to maintain, to find what triggers episodes, to recognise first signs of depressive behaviour.

I counter the living hell out of them. Sure it takes a bit of strong will, but people strain with bigger problems than my ****ty job, never enough money or even recent breakup (last monday, damn) . Sure it sucks, sure I feel like miserable lonely blob of sad sometimes, but I counter that by geting tired as heck.

Up your activity level when you are geting depressed. I promise you it takes only innitial effort. After that you like the burn of muscles, endorphines come in and eventualy its a POSSITIVE trigger. -, you get fit, -you are proud of yourself, Also endorphines.

Work out your melancholy.

Ps.
I hate the word "depression", I think its overused and that we use it as excuze way too often. I wasted 7 years of my life on something that, now I know, I wont ever be able to change/fix. Don't let the depression overcome you, because its downward spiral. Fight it and use the magnificent mean machine that your body is to reclaim control.
Strong will for the innitial blitzkrieg is really /ALL/ you need

I have felt my bipolar depression getting worse and worse the last couple weeks. I make up excuses not to go to the gym and spent last week in Vegas, lots of sunshine, walking, and still felt the depression deepening. This week I've forced myself to get on the treadmill and it does help. However, yesterday was my therapy appt. and we got into my PTSD issues surrounding some repressed memories of sexual abuse when I was 5 y.o. Upon leaving I immediately started craving chocolate and stopped at the store and bought way too much and proceeded to eat it. I feel apathetic, listless. The only thing keeping me going is my quilting classes, which gives me something to do, and even that is becoming difficult I cancelled my workout with my trainer this morning and am now headed to bed at 11am. I need to show and even that seems difficult.

I will probably only lay down a couple hours and am determined to get on the treadmill. I also want to sit in the sun some as in northern Illinois who knows how long that will last. I could use a friend if anybody here can relate.

Depression has been something I've fought with all of my life. I didn't realize it as a child, but I can look back and see it now. My adult years have had ups and serious downs. A few years ago I was on medication for depression, and I came to the decision it was no way to live. So I went off it and decided to simply turn around my way of looking at life. This winter has been hard, though. Usually the never ending winter rain doesn't get to me too badly, but the lack of sunshine has hit me this year. Couple it with my looming 40th birthday, knowing I've spent my 30's fat and unhappy, I've never found and followed my dreams... it's hard not to find myself slumping lower and lower. I had a great start on MFP, but every time I step on the scale this week it just goes another tick back up to where I started. I'm feeling at this point as if I shouldn't have even bothered.

The sun is shining today at least. I need to get outside for a walk and soak it in before it starts to rain for a few more weeks.

Love this thread! Thank you.

Yup, agreed. I NEVER had any issues of depression growing up, but had it hit me hard last year. It freaked me out, being what I considered a strong, confident man...it really brought me to my knees...literally. I learned in short time, it is me against my body sometimes, but I am learning to manage it conciously and with this better lifestyle I am entering.

One of the things I have found, and even in reading this thread, is I am not alone with this. So gather around...group hug...high fives...and let's keep each other going!

Cheers.

I am so glad you shared. My husband is a strong, confident man too. A few years ago, he was laid off from a job he loved within a month of me being diagnosed with cancer. I know both things hit him really hard, but he never talked about it. However it came out in other ways - his mood, watching tv for hours on end, sleeping a lot. I think men have a harder time with depression because it is more of a stigma for them to get help.

I have struggled with depression most of my life. Up until a couple years ago it was ignored and untreated. It damn near killed me. I am lucky, I survived and found the help I needed. Cognitive therapy and the medication that works for me helped me get somewhat balanced. It's been a long road. Some of the things that work for me when I feel like staying in bed did I die;

happy music that I enjoy
meditation
thinking about what I will be able to do once I'm at a healthy weight again
puppies and babies

I still have issues almost every day. I can feel the constant tug of depression trying to pull me down. I refuse to let it. I think the key is to find a reason and hold onto it. Kind of like Peter Pan and happy thoughts, Find your happy thought and use it. When you do, you'll be able to fly too.

Thank you for sharing! Incredibly helpful and reassuring knowing I am not alone!

Like other people have said, it is so nice to read all these posts! we are all in the same boat and i know i often forget that when feeling depressed..it consumes you and it is hard to shift. Exercise is definately the key for me. if anyone wants to add me feel free..its nice to have friends that know what you are going through, i dont think unless you suffer or have suffered with it..i dont think people understand what its like to have something you have almost no control of!

Nicky