It really hurts .... ppl can be so cruel :(

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faithNlove212
faithNlove212 Posts: 203 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
You know the saying " I'm unhappy because I eat & I eat because I'm unhappy"?? It's definitely true. If I were just skinnier I'd be happier! l used to look at myself & cry. How did I let myself get this unhealthy? And after 2 years of feeling sorry for myself I finally took charge & started eating right, exercising & loosing weight. I'm down 6.4 lbs in 6 weeks. I didn't gain over night so loosing isn't gonna happen over night. Weight loss takes patience, it's definitely a struggle something that takes alot of sweat & tears. Everytime I step on the scale & see I've lost it's a happy day! Even if it's just .4 ounces it's still .4 ounces of fat that is no longer on you. There's times you might gain instead of loose but that just gives me more motivation & deterination to keep going! But what happens when your out with your fiancé & son at the water park enjoying a family day together & you hear a complete stranger wisper "she won't fit on that ride" that brings my confidence all the way to an all time low!! So instead of shrugging it off you use food as your comfort! And since this weekend was fathers day I took that comfort of food & over did it on cakes, buffets etc whatever my family decided to make or buy. I don't think I ever have used food for comfort as much as I have in the past 2 days. And even though I know it's wrong & feel sick afterwards I just keep on eating. It's unbelievable what a complete strangers words can do. :sad:

Ps ... Happy Fathers Day!
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Replies

  • kimberly428
    kimberly428 Posts: 237
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    Oh no hun! Were they saying it as a negative thing or was it just a reality thing?
    I'm sorry it hurt :( Pick yourself back up, forget them and start fresh in the morning!
  • nursee67
    nursee67 Posts: 503
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    Ok...here goes. Screw what others think. You are doing a wonderful thing for yourself and you do not have to explain yourself to others. Just keep trying...lower your caloric intake...exercise...even if it is a litle bit. Just because ignorant people are cruel *kitten* does not mean they should railroad your progress. When you need an ear to listen or some support..come back here and people will listen and help. Good luck to you on your journey...we are all here for you!
  • Jax67
    Jax67 Posts: 323 Member
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    (((Hugs)))

    Please try and put it behind you, you are taking control of your life and making all the right choices for a healthier lifestyle. You are doing so well don't let an ignorant, rude person spoil the good efforts you have been making.

    You will succeed in your goals, they will always be ignorant.... i know which one i'd rather be!

    Take care

    Jax x
  • lisaosumarie
    lisaosumarie Posts: 37
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    It doesn't matter what other people say/think. YOU are doing this for YOU! Stay positive girl!!
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
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    ((((((hugs))))) You are right, people can be cruel. :( And I am sorry that they said that... and even more sorry that you overheard.

    Here's what I have to keep telling myself: If I use food as comfort or if I get depressed over what they say and give up... things will never be different. If I want to get to a place where I am healthier (not to mention look better!) then I have to keep making choices towards that. Sometimes that choice is to say no to unhealthy foods. Sometimes it is a choice to eat a smaller portion than I used to. Sometimes it is a choice to get out and take a walk to improve my mood... when what I really want to do is curl up on the couch and eat m&m's. Sometimes it is a choice to use experiences where I feel fat and inferior to motivate myself to keep making the good choices.

    I know that is so easy to say and so hard to do. Just take it a day (and sometimes a meal) at a time.
  • BrattyLori
    BrattyLori Posts: 101 Member
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    ROAR to that stupid jerk! That makes me SO mad! I'm sorry you had to go thru that! It really makes me SO ANGRY!

    Two things to think about here girl:

    1. What an IMPORTANT DAY yesterday was! You were celebrating wiht people you love - taking part in LIFE even tho you dont feel like a skinny minnie. GOOD JOB! And that jerk who hurt your feelings probably did you a favor, because NOW you can really get into my 2nd thought:

    2. Take your ANGER and SADNESS and HUMILITION and just WAIL on it at a gym or however you exercise! Get yourself in there and just say RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroar at all those JERKS who want to hurt you and who think you dont have feelings. Keep that person in your mind as you burn those feelings out of your body! Get it out get it out get it out!

    Dont eat your feelings, Beautiful Girl, WAIL on them! You might think of that person every day for 3 months and get yourself down to where you want to be and you'll think, "Thanks for being a *kitten*. Now I am skinny! and I secretly hope you got fat!"
  • slcbrus
    slcbrus Posts: 79
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    Big bear hug to you and enormous smack on that moronic person! I'm sorry this hurts so bad and I totally understand, I would feel just the same, it's terrible. Try to not let ignorant strangers bring you down like that, you know you are taking good care of yourself now and I also know for a fact that people are going to start complimenting you on your new healthy looks, wait for it, it will come.

    I hadn't seen a couple of friends in 3 weeks and when I saw them today, the 3 of them told me how much thinner I looked. See?

    And a couple of months ago a worker on the street shouted "whale" at me, I was mortified and angry, depressed and wanted to run home and hide. But I kept on going, following my little workout routines and healthy eating habits... now I get compliments and so will you.

    Please, don't let losers bring you down, they don't matter. Chin up and be proud of who you are and of what you are accomplishing.
  • ProjectFat
    ProjectFat Posts: 2
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    I'm with everyone here. Sounds like the person that said that has no sense at all.
    These are exactly the reasons I STOPPED going out and living my life because i was tired of hearing people say things like....geez you've gained A LOT of weight.....and you know what - it made things even worse. Because I would turn into a recluse, and turn to my food friend as comfort.
    But it wasn't a comfort and in the end I felt worse than I had when that person thought I was fatter - because I knew I was hurting myself and I hated myself for it.

    These moments will pass and even when you're thin someone will have something negative to say. I was skinny for most of my youth and teen years and everyone would say I was too skinny.

    lesson here is don't live to make others around you happy, live to make yourself happy, and if you're happy with your accomplishments then that's all that matters.

    *kitten* everyone else!
  • noneya2010
    noneya2010 Posts: 446 Member
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    I could have written your post. Only I have never heard anyone say anything like that, but I hear them say it in my mind every day.

    Don't let others rude and hurtful comments ruin your great progress! And don't beat yourself up over having a slip. It happens and next time when you feel the urge coming on, stop and really think about it before you eat and see if you can't nip it - even a little bit. I used to be a big time binger and emotional eater. I still am, only now I am taking control. I don't think I will ever not be -- it is always going to be a tough battle to fight each and every day but the more time passes and the more I keep my emotional eating in check, the easier it is to keep it at bay or squash it when it tries to rear its ugly head.

    Your 1 day of "falling off the wagon" won't hurt that much if you stop it now and get right back up starting now -- not tomorrow!
  • Catzeyez
    Catzeyez Posts: 35
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    I'm so sorry you had to go through that :( *big hugs* Don't worry if you caved this weekend, as long as you get back up from falling down is all that matters. You CAN do this no matter what other people say. Cheer up, it will all work out in the end. :smooched:
  • faithNlove212
    faithNlove212 Posts: 203 Member
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    Thanks everyone!!! Your all right I definitely need to come to you all for support whenever I feel upset instead of looking to food for comfort. Weigh in is every Monday, I most likely gained this week but I'm just gonna use that to get more motivated. 6.4lbs so far in 6 weeks is great & I need to keep it up! :flowerforyou:
  • Breathe_Glamour
    Breathe_Glamour Posts: 136
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    I know you're hurt by what you heard, but you also know you're out of shape & you also know that you need to lose weight AND you know that losing weight will make you feel better.

    Why don't you take that rude person's comment & turn it into something positive for yourself? Take that advice & use it tomorrow when you work out.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    I say " I may be fat outside, but you are ugly INSIDE and I can always lose weight, you will always be ugly!'

    The best revenge is to succeed and live a healthy life. DO IT!! You are so worth it!

    :flowerforyou: Jeannie
  • abutterflyemerges
    abutterflyemerges Posts: 101 Member
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    Am I the only one with another response to what just happened to you??? I am not saying violence is the best answer, I'm not but you know what? to hell with letting that get to you. You should of gotten into his ugly face and told him something about himself that he needs to work on. You should have loudly shamed his *kitten* because I am sure you weren't the only overweight person there and or person who has ever dealt with overweight issues! I am just saying that you should have loudly pointed out his ignorance and his lack of sensativity to the matter. I am sure he was no super model right? Maybe you should have told him he needs to put some extra socks in his shorts or something. I'm not a violent person just saying one ugly remark deserves another! Don't let his stupid comment get to you. If he were a Real man or a gentleman he would of kept his trap shut! To hell with the haters. Keep doing what you doing because in the end you will have the last laugh!
  • abutterflyemerges
    abutterflyemerges Posts: 101 Member
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    Am I the only one with another response to what just happened to you??? I am not saying violence is the best answer, I'm not but you know what? to hell with letting that get to you. You should of gotten into his ugly face and told him something about himself that he needs to work on. You should have loudly shamed his *kitten* because I am sure you weren't the only overweight person there and or person who has ever dealt with overweight issues! I am just saying that you should have loudly pointed out his ignorance and his lack of sensativity to the matter. I am sure he was no super model right? Maybe you should have told him he needs to put some extra socks in his shorts or something. I'm not a violent person just saying one ugly remark deserves another! Don't let his stupid comment get to you. If he were a Real man or a gentleman he would of kept his trap shut! To hell with the haters. Keep doing what you doing because in the end you will have the last laugh!
  • gpies
    gpies Posts: 56 Member
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    Please don't let another individual make or break you. You will shine when you are ready (with a few bumps and bruises perhaps along the way) and you've already started that sunshine bursting with your success so far. And as far as the bad day, tomorrow is already coming and hold your head up and be proud that your loss so far is just the beginning. Karma as they say.....

    so, what goes around comes around and just knowing that is satisfaction in itself, now put the focus back on yourself as you have been doing and kick that healthy lifestyle right back into place.

    xoxoxoxoxo
  • skatjon
    skatjon Posts: 29
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    don't let yourself be defeated! you are in control of your emotions and ONLY YOU. With anything in life you have to tell yourself you can and you will succeed. Once you clear your head of negative energy and replace it with positive thought and people you will be able to overpower any negative peoson that crosses your path. We are all different and beautiful. Beauty on the outside does not mean there is beauty on the inside and anyone that can't see true beauty is not beautiful themself. Keep doing what you have been doing for YOU, nobody else. Remember to love you overweight or skinny. You are you and size does not change your heart.

    A great book to read is The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino. Read and absorb his lessons, it's life changing!!
  • genann
    genann Posts: 236
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    You know the saying " I'm unhappy because I eat & I eat because I'm unhappy"?? It's definitely true. If I were just skinnier I'd be happier! l used to look at myself & cry. How did I let myself get this unhealthy? And after 2 years of feeling sorry for myself I finally took charge & started eating right, exercising & loosing weight. I'm down 6.4 lbs in 6 weeks. I didn't gain over night so loosing isn't gonna happen over night. Weight loss takes patience, it's definitely a struggle something that takes alot of sweat & tears. Everytime I step on the scale & see I've lost it's a happy day! Even if it's just .4 ounces it's still .4 ounces of fat that is no longer on you. There's times you might gain instead of loose but that just gives me more motivation & deterination to keep going! But what happens when your out with your fiancé & son at the water park enjoying a family day together & you hear a complete stranger wisper "she won't fit on that ride" that brings my confidence all the way to an all time low!! So instead of shrugging it off you use food as your comfort! And since this weekend was fathers day I took that comfort of food & over did it on cakes, buffets etc whatever my family decided to make or buy. I don't think I ever have used food for comfort as much as I have in the past 2 days. And even though I know it's wrong & feel sick afterwards I just keep on eating. It's unbelievable what a complete strangers words can do. :sad:

    Ps ... Happy Fathers Day!

    People can be such idiots! The stranger that said that about you don't know anything about you. Shes probably as unhappy about herself as you are about your weight. My husband has a saying "You can lose the weight, but you can't lose the ugly"...

    YOU can lose the weight you want to lose, but that stranger won't lose the ugly...she'll have to live with it forever.

    You've got the right attitude, this weight didn't come on over night and it won't leave overnight. You are doing great losing 6.4lbs in 6 weeks . I learned at WW that you should lose at 1-2lbs a week and if you do you're more likely to keep it off. ok, you ate too much the last few days, tomorrow is a new day. Jump back on the wagon and keep on going....
  • Maxwell911
    Maxwell911 Posts: 9
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    First thing you need to do . . . just take a deep breath and understand that some folks don't understand, they don't know where we are , and where we are coming from. I've discovered if I face the pain head on, then it doesn't hurt so much. I was walking my dog the other day and there were a few teenaged punks playing basketball and I hear a wolf whistle . . . I was the only one around besides them . . .so it was directed at me and I'm pretty sure it was not meant in a positive way . . . more of a mean way. My first instinct was to let it hurt . . then I decided to deal with it. I said "Hey, stop whistling at my dog . . . I know he's sexy but he isn't interested and he doesn't want to hurt you guys' feelings." I think they were shocked that I had the guts to approach and take back my self-esteem. Just because I'm not "beautiful" by certain standards, doesn't mean I'm not beautiful and perfect to someone else, and I'm not letting people sink their claws into my heart . . . and when you let people get an emotional grip on you . . . then if you have a tendency to comfort with food (I've been there) then you only allow allow the vicious cycle of feelings, food and pain to continue. Next time, let that cruel person know up front, very kindly (because that gives you an upper hand) that you don't appreciate their input and perhaps it will help. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt . . . it hurts, I know, but take control of it and let it make you stronger.
  • crobinson3
    crobinson3 Posts: 35 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel and what you mean. Sometimes though these negative comments can actually become your point of strength to carry on, almost your way of sticking two fingers up at them and loosing the weight.

    I've lost a fair bit of weight over a 3 year period, so you're right about it not coming off over night. Over that period I've had my fair share of people making comments about my weight. These varied from complete strangers to folks I know. After loosing 3 stones I bumped into someone I hadn't seen in a couple of years. I was greeting with "boy, you've put the beef on". People don't think before they open their mouths and it can be so hurtful.

    I know if may seem like a long way off at the moment, but when you do succeed people will notice the change and will comment on it. The feeling you get from knowing you've reached your goal will far outweight the hurt you've felt after the nasty comments.

    Best of Luck!!

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