Feel self conscious when ordering healthy food

sarahlove43
sarahlove43 Posts: 26 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am a pretty healthy eater, and usually try to make good choices when out eating with friends. I'm not really trying to lose weight, I simply enjoy living a healthy lifestyle. But sometimes I can't help but feel self conscious when I order things! I feel like because im already at a low weight, people are always judging me! I often get friends rolling their eyes, laughing at me, or saying things like "you're seriously getting that?" "Why are you eating that, you're already so skinny!" "oh my gosh I can't believe you actually ordered VEGETABLES instead of fries!" "Oh Ms. HEALTHY over here...." etc.
Is it that bad that I want to eat healthy even if I'm not overweight? Dont get me wrong, I will splurge now and then but on a regular basis I try to keep my diet in check.
Sometimes I feel self conscious asking the waitress "can I get that salmon grilled, without the butter sauce, vegetables subbed for rice " etc while everyone is watching me. Or if a friend is making a Starbucks run I debate whether or not I should tell them to get my drink sugar free, nonfat. There are times where I have decided not to go COMPLETELY healthy with my order just so I don't get as many comments. It can get so annoying sometimes! Anyone else like this?
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Replies

  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    You are doing this for you, no-one else. You do not have to justify yourself to anyone for making healthy choices, and you most certainly shouldn't order something you don't want because of what others think. What does it matter to them what you eat?
  • sarahlove43
    sarahlove43 Posts: 26 Member
    I was at IHOP the other day and requested sugar free syrup. My friends would not leave me alone for that! Another day at school while working on a project someone brought Burger King for everyone. I opted out and instead took out the yogurt I had brought with me. Everyone started commenting about how they can't believe I'm eating that, if I'm trying to make them feel bad, etc. I really do not care what everyone around me eats, I personally just like eating things that make me feel good!
  • sarahlove43
    sarahlove43 Posts: 26 Member
    You are doing this for you, no-one else. You do not have to justify yourself to anyone for making healthy choices, and you most certainly shouldn't order something you don't want because of what others think. What does it matter to them what you eat?

    I know I am doing it for myself, which is why I usually continue to do it despite people's comments. I just wish people wouldn't laugh or assume I'm trying to be better than them by eating healthy.
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
    I've been in similar situations - especially where my family's concerned.

    It makes me feel proud to walk away knowing I made good choices and I'm still satisfied.

    Your friends sound a little jealous - maybe they don't have the will power or motivation that you do.
  • lozadee
    lozadee Posts: 89 Member
    I can understand from the oposite side aswell, I'm bigger but when I order salad its like "ooh arnt you good - i coudlnt eat like you!" well c learly ive not found the secret to eating well seen as im bigger!

    Or if i order chips ect its "Oh im trying to be good!" like a little reminder i could do better...

    I hate having to order food! i try lewt the people im with order then decide mine - i know its not a good thing to do or the right thing but i do! :(
  • RobinV_Seattle
    RobinV_Seattle Posts: 191 Member
    It never seems to get easier and, if it's not your friends, it'll be some "well-meaning" acquaintance or relative...

    Just keep making those healthy choices - it's your life and your body. Give them a smile, tell them your body is a temple and eat however you like!
  • boroko
    boroko Posts: 358 Member
    Order exactly what you want and don't worry what others think. It's rude of them to comment on your choices and quite frankly none of their business. I never eat fried food, cream, sugary stuff etc because I just don't like it but I do always want vegies with my meal. If someone questions what you chose to eat it's possibly because they know they're eating crap and you eating well makes them aware of it. I guess that if they were ordering heroin you wouldn't feel embarrassed to say no so why shouldn't you say no to junk food?

    Eating good food is not just about weight, its about being healthy and liking what you eat.
  • DniceDavis
    DniceDavis Posts: 3 Member
    I here ya, I still don't make the best choices with my eating habits but I definitely have been eating way healthier than the past and my friends and family ridicule me for it! I brought over a fruit plate with yogurt and almonds to my friends house the other day and they said I wasn't the same person and that I'm not fun anymore because I wouldn't eat junk food and wings with them.. I don't get how my eating habits change my personality but that was one of the comments. Then I went to my parents house to visit them and without warning they ordered my favorite kind of pizza which was nice but I really didn't want to eat it. I ate a slice to be nice and they got all pushy and wanted me to eat more because they ordered it for me. I ended up eating three slices to shut them up and went home and did two work out video's.
    Anyway this is starting to sound like a vent fest but I know what you mean people need to understand your trying to be healthy their is more to eating healthy than just your weight.
  • lady_in_weighting
    lady_in_weighting Posts: 196 Member
    all the time. my family still comment on my portion sizes depsite the fact i do eat unhealthy food from time to time. there is nothing wrong with trying to lead a healthy lifestyle, maybe they should take a leaf out of your book! they are just jealous that they dont have the dedication or commitment to their healthy plans.

    be your own person! :)
  • camrunner
    camrunner Posts: 363
    I paid $1.50 to "upgrade to broccoli" (from fries) at a restaurant recently. Yeah, I could have been self-conscious, but you know what? It was pretty funny and nobody was laughing harder than me.
  • wllwsmmr
    wllwsmmr Posts: 391 Member
    I am the exact same way.. So I hate social situations with food (or calories!).. When I am heavier I feel conscious ordering healthy stuff because I feel like people are judging me ('You got this fat by eating this?!') and when I am lighter I feel like people think I'm anorexic or an extreme dieter that deprives myself of everything.. And I got some friends who asked if what I ate even had taste.. I usually don't eat much in public, but if I do I make sure I choose what I am most comfortable with and will enjoy. Yes I might feel like others are judging me but it is my life my body my health! I'll do what I want, just like how they'd order that big mac with upsized fries :)
  • droberts3311
    droberts3311 Posts: 87
    I don't think it will get easier. I have been eating plant based for a while and it never ends. It will always be someone, I just look at them like REALLY! I don't say anything to them because they decide to eat grease and junk..............I use to get really wrinkled about this but I am learning to take a deep breath and just ignore them, with a smile! Remember this is for you. Good luck and don't give in.:flowerforyou:
  • Gizzy1976
    Gizzy1976 Posts: 126 Member
    If I'm out eating with friends or family I always order a healthy option because if i order chips etc I always think that they are thinking " no wonder she's fat eating that!"

    I can never buy a sandwich from a shop and eat it in the street as I think people are looking at me and commenting ????
  • delonda1
    delonda1 Posts: 525 Member
    I don't care...i always make special orders of things that arent on the menu

    Thankfully the bf and I usually go to the same restaurants.

    I usually get a side salad no croutons..no cheese..and a side of grilled chicken or a turkey burger in a lettuce wrap if Im feeling frisky.

    I HOWEVER LOVEEEE SPINACH DIP....so I always get the spinach dip..no chips. just celery
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    I always eat healthily an don't care what other people think! I don't think any of my friends have ever commented on my food choices anyway. I think in England we don't have quite the same junk food culture as in the US.

    I went out to lunch with a friend the other day and asked for a skinny chicken burger (basically chicken breast in a roll, no butter, with salad) and the waiter brought it with chips (fries) so I asked him to take the chips away.

    I always order skinny drinks in places like Starbucks.

    I'm probably not what people would consider overweight now but I like being healthy so will continue as I am!
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    ''because i don't like fries''

    they only do this because your healthy choices make them feel self conscious about their unhealthy choices.
  • Ascolti_la_musica
    Ascolti_la_musica Posts: 676 Member
    Give them a sharp enough reply, and it will happen a lot less frequently. It really pisses me off when people try to shame you into their ridiculous habits, when they could just as soon adopt your healthy habits and be better off for it.

    My husband and I are the lone rationalists in a family full of religion. We tried politely declining prayers and stuff for a long time. Finally, we let everyone know in very clear language that we didn't want to have anything to do with their imaginary friends. We haven't been shamed into bowing our heads at the table while they talk to themselves since, or any of the other nonsense rituals they like to perform.

    Maybe you could tell your friends that you don't want to eat like them because you don't want to look like them, and that if they followed your lead rather than expecting you to follow theirs, they might look a bit more like you.
  • dovetail22uk
    dovetail22uk Posts: 339 Member
    How rude people are laughing at you! Maybe they are jealous because you are making a positive change and they're aren't so they critisise to make themselves feel better.

    You could maybe punch them and log the exercise?
  • gotlouis
    gotlouis Posts: 6 Member
    "you're seriously getting that?" "Why are you eating that, you're already so skinny!" "oh my gosh I can't believe you actually ordered VEGETABLES instead of fries!" "Oh Ms. HEALTHY over here...." etc.

    Tell them...
    30063584.jpg
  • newmein2013
    newmein2013 Posts: 674 Member
    Maybe your friends need a little bit of education. Help them understand that you enjoy the taste of the food & how it makes you feel, more energetic, as opposed to weighed down, etc. Also explain that it makes you uncomfortable when they tease about your lifestyle choices. If they're your true friends, they'll stop teasing you. If not, I'd seriously reevaluate those friendships.

    I actually have the opposite. My family & friends have been inspired by the changes I've made. But as you said, you were already thin & healthy. I was simply a mess, a heart attack waiting to happen.

    Edited for typos.
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
    I usually respond in either of these two ways: 1) laugh it off, perhaps make a witty remark, and ignore, or 2) get very direct with people. I only resort to the second way if someone has consistently annoyed me and seems oblivious to the fact that they're getting on my last nerve.

    Don't feel bad about ordering things prepared in the way you need/want them when you're out at restaurants. You are paying them to cook for you, after all. It's ridiculous to order something unhealthy that you don't want to eat just because it's easier for the restaurant or so your friends won't say anything. Get a backbone and realise that you're entitled to have whatever you want, providing the restaurant is capable of preparing the things you've asked for. Tell your friends to F off and enjoy your meal!
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
    Wow...you are an inspiration for me. Keep on doing what you know to be right. Eating healthy is not just about losing the weight. It is about living healthy as you are doing.
  • tomcornhole
    tomcornhole Posts: 1,084 Member
    For those that eat healthy and are trying to get fit: Do you ever comment on what the unhealthy people are choosing for their meals? I do in my head, I just NEVER say anything. But I do get the occasional snide comment from the unhealthy/unfit person about eating something healthy vs. not healthy. I think they feel I am secretly commenting / judging them on their weight/health choices when I order me up some broccoli instead of fries. They're right. I am doing it to make them feel uncomfortable. That's why I lost 60 lbs. To make them feel uncomfortable. That's why I exist, to make them feel uncomfortable. NOT. But, they feel uncomfortable so they make a comment to improve their comfort with their choices. I'm ok with that. I like myself.
  • Tatiyanya
    Tatiyanya Posts: 255 Member
    I start talking about pooping straight away if someone makes a snarky remark about my healthy eating habbits .

    Its my personal way what i choose to eat, i dont comment on their junk food , ok?

    So if they decide to give me an unwanted advice/snarky remark I start telling them how beneficial high fiber diet is for regular pooping.

    Even the daft ones get the hint after I activate poop talk 2-3 times.


    *****es never made a single comment when I was ordering 4 cheeseburgers in macdonalds with them while weighting 250+ lbs -.-
  • milkyskinn
    milkyskinn Posts: 126 Member
    Like everyone else already said, you do this for *you*! At the end of the day it's only you who can make yourself proud, and you can not let other people decide for you what makes you happy or comfortable with yourself. :)

    I always feel a bit uncomfortable all the time, too. But even with ordering unhealthy things! I don't want to order something extremely fatty and feel like everyone's thinking around me "ew, look at what she's scarfing down!" It's probably all in my head, but it goes both ways for me. Same with not ordering alcohol while everyone's drinking. It's my body!
  • squindles
    squindles Posts: 350 Member
    Just because you're skinny on the outside hun doesn't mean you are on the inside............tell them that it's what's on the inside that counts, that'll make them think :wink: But good for you for making the right food choices :flowerforyou: I haven't told ANYBODY (well, apart from my mfp friends!!!!!) that I've decided to change my lifestyle and get healthy so I get " ooooo Jackie, I didn't know you were on a diet" to which I reply "I'm not" which is the TRUTH, I'm NOT on a diet (I'm living proof that diets DON'T work :wink: ) I'm not telling anybody because you always get....." you can't eat that your on a diet, that's not diet food", etc etc etc :yawn:
  • melbournemummy79
    melbournemummy79 Posts: 80
    Its no one elses business what you put into your body so they should shut their freakin mouths and I would tell them so.. probably more diplomatically :)
    I am not at all ok with so called friends making snarky remarks like that... true friends dont continually act like asshats and belittle your choices.
  • cashone001
    cashone001 Posts: 1
    It sounds good that you are health conscious and generally order healthy foods. It’s good sign and don’t bother what other says. You might have heard the Old saying “ Health is wealth”. Why to get worried once you become overweight rather to be conscious to maintain your health. Keep going!!
  • JGainingHealth
    JGainingHealth Posts: 194 Member
    This annoys me so much. It is COMPLETELY rude for people to judge what you're eating, whether it's healthy or not.

    I get hit from both ways - I usually get comments about how "healthy" I'm eating and how I don't need to because I'm already thin. But then I'll get comments about how I'm always eating because I spread my meals out through the day. So one minute I get self conscious because someone thinks I'm starving myself, and then the next minute I feel like a pig that eats all day.

    ...But then I snap myself back into reality and realize that I'm healthy, I enjoy what I eat, and I'm doing what's right for me, so WHO CARES what they think. Just remember: misery loves company.
  • dimsumkitty
    dimsumkitty Posts: 120 Member
    Friends and family will always judge each other, and not just about food! Clothes, boyfriends, niche hobbies... Taking rudeness and teasing in good humour is just something we learn. If it doesn't get to you in other aspects of your life then don't let them make you feel bad about food. :)

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