I'll Admit, I Like It

I like it now.. but before...

I felt like I had so little time and when I did work out, I was bad at it. Working through that and getting to the place where I am strong and capable.... makes it much more fun... I felt pitiful, embarrassed by my weakness and inability.

This is an odd topic. I think most people know the reasons why some people find it hard/don't like to work out.

I admit it.

I like it, too.

I like it a lot.

Because I am not very good at it. After years of gym class, trying my very best and still being the very worst, it became something I despised. Public Humiliation throughout elementary, middle, and high school will do that for you.

I feel guilty taking the time to do it for myself. It usually means putting the kids in front of a screen, or paying money I don't have for someone to play with them, or constant interruptions from them.

I enjoy running by myself (and by running, I mean a chubby girl shuffle - it takes me 45 minutes to do a 5k), but I run country roads where people can't see me. But when it is extremely cold out side and the roads are covered with ice, and it is dark, it makes it not too inviting. I have participated in 2 actual 5 k's and loved them, but still wished I could run normal. I have always been told I run "funny". I have watched youtube videos, and other runners trying to figure out the "right" way but I still don't have it down.

I have found that it isn't the exercise itself I hate, it is the fact that I don't know what I am doing. I can see the way things should be in my head, but in reality I am uncoordinated. I have no rhythym, no strength, and no desire to be mocked as the fat girl who can't do anything. And there is always the guilt that I should be doing something else, taking care of someone else, spending the money on something else, etc.

In some cases, I think it may tie to gym class, a.k.a. so-called "physical education". I don't know about anyone else here, but I wasn't really educated at all in that class. It was more a "go out and do whatever the heck the teacher says" class with no apparent logic. Sometimes it was fun, but not always. I think it took a particular turn for the worse as we hit our teen years and the "gym" became a competitive place where the fit shamed those who were not as well prepared. Nobody ever talked about how to get better. You just knew that you couldn't run a mile, or that the other guy did twice as many pull ups as you, or that some kids were better at sports than you.

I think this development of the "haves versus have nots" put a sour taste in many mouths. I liked physical activity such as hiking, swimming, and even playing extracirricular sports in my younger years, but I did NOT like gym class. If that's all someone gets- the feeling that what you do in a gym is pointless or even embarrassing, and that is what forms their understanding of working out, encouraging them to start can be an uphill battle.

It took going to the gym as a social activity with my college roommates and developing an understanding about how to progress and grow for me to truly feel comfortable in the gym. Nowdays, if I go a couple days without exercising, I get cranky.

It's a mind battle for me. I sit all day at work, sit in the car on the way home, sit in the recliner to check email and watch TV. A body at rest tends to stay at rest... Once I get moving, I don't mind it so much.

Is orrly "Oh Really" or "Orally"? I cants keep up with all these modern abbrevs

I like it

long and hard

the kind that makes me sweaty

and leaves me breathless

I thought you hated running. :huh: