Eat with people/eating out

ladybird89
ladybird89 Posts: 28 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anybody else find it extremely stressful to either go out to dinner or be invited to a dinner party where you have no control over the food you eat? I find it especially nerve-racking to attend dinner parties, particularly around the holidays. Being around that much food makes me anxious, which in turn makes me eat to calm myself down and then it turns into a horrible cycle. I feel guilty because a lot of the time I'll cancel plans that involve food because I'm so afraid of overeating. Does anybody have tips or ideas on how to overcome this?
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Replies

  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
    I eat a good breakfast. After that I do a really good workout and have a light lunch like a salad or some fruit. I drink plenty of water and by the time I go out for dinner I usually have 1300 calories to use for food and drink. Knowing I have all those calories to use takes away any anxiety about the food. I still avoid crap because that's the way I eat.
  • lqmustang
    lqmustang Posts: 125 Member
    If I know the restaurant I'll research the menu before hand and pick out my meal before hand. Go out and enjoy yourself. You probably know what is good and what is not so just make wise decisions and have fun. I also like to leave myself plenty of room on the calorie meter as well so I don't worry quite so much about the extra calories in the party food. In the end, it's only one day so don't stress over it too much.
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,696 Member
    It can be really worrying to get these invitations and the heart sinks. Just remember NO ONE IS PUTTING FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH. I find I can have a little taste of everything as long as it is only a taste. Even pudding- have a spoonful of someone else's. Eat lots of veg, salad stuff. Do not drink too much alcohol- it kills resolve. Have sparkling water to hand. You can do it.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I don't. I just enjoy spending time with my friends and either treat myself or limit my consumption, depending on how my day went and how successfully (or not) I planned.
  • hellokittylove
    hellokittylove Posts: 15 Member
    Well, I always plan ahead when I eat out with others. It is never spur of the moment, its always planned and part of my plan for the week. If it is not something I planned a head, I usually dont go out.

    I was more worried when I traveled(by bus three hours and lots of walking) to go to a family party and there was no fresh fruits & veggies. Everything was covered in gravy and very heavy. I actually felt nausea afterwards for about a day. So use to eating the healthy stuff my boddy was like, 'What is that crap you are putting in?'

    Think about your goals and how far you have come! Thats what I do, I have worked so damn hard, one night isnt worth all the sweat and heat compresses I have sacrificed, HA!
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    Eating out should be enjoyable... it is even better if you relax.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Eating out should be enjoyable... it is even better if you relax.

    Also, faster.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Eating out should be enjoyable... it is even better if you relax.
    sometimes I like to have a glass of wine before eating out.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Does this phobia have a name?
  • BlueObsidian
    BlueObsidian Posts: 297 Member
    Does anybody else find it extremely stressful to either go out to dinner or be invited to a dinner party where you have no control over the food you eat? I find it especially nerve-racking to attend dinner parties, particularly around the holidays. Being around that much food makes me anxious, which in turn makes me eat to calm myself down and then it turns into a horrible cycle. I feel guilty because a lot of the time I'll cancel plans that involve food because I'm so afraid of overeating. Does anybody have tips or ideas on how to overcome this?

    1) You always have control over what you eat. If you are at a dinner party, you may not have control over the menu, but portion sizes and the dishes you choose are entirely in your control. You can take small portions when you eat at a dinner party. At restaurants, you can make healthy selections or take half of your food home to eat the next day.

    2) When someone invites you over for a meal, offer to bring a side dish or appetizer. It's a polite gesture, plus it will mean that you know the calorie count of one dish. Enjoy the other foods available in small portions.

    3) Eat a small salad or some veggies 30 minutes before you leave for a party or restaurant. Drink a big glass of water while you're at it. Consider it eating your appetizer in advance. You'll still have room for the meal, but you won't be starving when you get there. It will help you make better choices.

    4) Focus on your friends and family and the conversation, not the food. Yes, you'll be eating. But the guilt and the fear really aren't necessary. You are going to these kinds of social events to spend time with the people you care about, right? Focus on that when you find yourself getting nervous.

    5) Find active things to do with your friends instead of just going out to eat. This doesn't really help with dinner parties, but could work for regular activities. Do your friends like bowling? Mini golf? Laser tag? Hiking? See if you can come up with a way to spend time with your loved ones that doesn't just revolve around food.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
  • cheeksmashers
    cheeksmashers Posts: 3
    I eat a good breakfast. After that I do a really good workout and have a light lunch like a salad or some fruit. I drink plenty of water and by the time I go out for dinner I usually have 1300 calories to use for food and drink. Knowing I have all those calories to use takes away any anxiety about the food. I still avoid crap because that's the way I eat.

    You look crazy amazing!!! congrats! wow defintely a domer
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.

    That's the spirit!
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.

    WTF...to both of you!!
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.
    I quite enjoy eating out with her.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.


    I quite enjoy eating out with her.

    Bang on your hosts kitchen table
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.

    WTF...to both of you!!

    BABY I can explain!
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
    I eat a good breakfast. After that I do a really good workout and have a light lunch like a salad or some fruit. I drink plenty of water and by the time I go out for dinner I usually have 1300 calories to use for food and drink. Knowing I have all those calories to use takes away any anxiety about the food. I still avoid crap because that's the way I eat.

    You look crazy amazing!!! congrats! wow defintely a domer
    whats a domer?
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.

    WTF...to both of you!!

    BABY I can explain!

    All I gets the basement with either one of you....I'm hurt. HURT!!
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.

    WTF...to both of you!!

    BABY I can explain!

    All I gets the basement with either one of you....I'm hurt. HURT!!
    c'mere honey, we can eat out together
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.

    WTF...to both of you!!

    BABY I can explain!

    All I gets the basement with either one of you....I'm hurt. HURT!!
    c'mere honey, we can eat out together

    That's all I needed. Well, and Matt, but he just couldn't handle it.
  • Trilby16
    Trilby16 Posts: 707 Member
    Years ago, I went to OA meetings. Those people have some good strategies. One was, when you're in a social situation and people are urging you to eat things, all you have to say is "No thanks, I'm not hungry."

    Ha! I'M NOT HUNGRY! When has eating ever had to do with being hungry when you're an over-eater? But to "normal" people it's a perfectly logical excuse. They will accept it.
  • badtastebetty
    badtastebetty Posts: 326 Member
    I'm still adjusting to going out to eat. I feel like it happens too often, but my boyfriend is a habitual restaurant goer. Luckily he let's me pick the restaurant to ensure I have something to eat.

    Tonight we're going out before a show, I found out my favorite restaurant has an awesome veggie platter, which will replace my usual peanut butter burger with fries.
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.

    WTF...to both of you!!

    BABY I can explain!

    All I gets the basement with either one of you....I'm hurt. HURT!!
    c'mere honey, we can eat out together

    That's all I needed. Well, and Matt, but he just couldn't handle it.
    Matt's still a little wet behind the ears. We'll break him in eventually.
  • edge_dragoncaller
    edge_dragoncaller Posts: 826 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.

    WTF...to both of you!!

    BABY I can explain!

    All I gets the basement with either one of you....I'm hurt. HURT!!
    c'mere honey, we can eat out together

    That's all I needed. Well, and Matt, but he just couldn't handle it.
    Matt's still a little wet behind the ears. We'll break him in eventually.

    We could all go eat out together, you know, like at a buffet
  • spaghetti93
    spaghetti93 Posts: 140 Member
    I always try to look at a menu but don't make a definite choice (unless something looks really really good). I'll just pick out a few things and then let myself make the choice at the restaurant depending on my mood. If a restaurant gives me bread, I can't resist and end up eating a ton so if its ok with who i'm with, we ask to not be given any. When I go to a party where there's food lying around one of the first things I do is get a glass of water and take sips instead of taking handfulls of snacks, and when i do eat I try to go for things like fruits and veggies. I often feel like i have to try one of everything if there are some sort of fancy appetizers- instead of grabbing entire portions, i'll ask my friends and family if they're any good and if they are, split one with somebody or steal a bite. If there are rooms that don't have food lying around, or have something I don't like, I station myself there. I don't like to eat a lot before an event to make myself full- it never works and I eat anyway! I just eat a satisfying amount of food beforehand and make sure I neither starve or stuff myself. Also- if theres something especially delicious - and caloric- i tell everybody so it disappears and I dont have to worry about it :)
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.

    WTF...to both of you!!

    BABY I can explain!

    All I gets the basement with either one of you....I'm hurt. HURT!!
    c'mere honey, we can eat out together

    That's all I needed. Well, and Matt, but he just couldn't handle it.
    Matt's still a little wet behind the ears. We'll break him in eventually.

    We could all go eat out together, you know, like at a buffet

    I LOVE buffets!!

    How YOU doin?
  • edge_dragoncaller
    edge_dragoncaller Posts: 826 Member
    I pack my own meals then demand the host set table just for me. I stand in front of it with my hands on my hips daring anyone to come near.
    It's true, I've seen it.


    She and I are an item. So we go out to eat all the time.

    WTF...to both of you!!

    BABY I can explain!

    All I gets the basement with either one of you....I'm hurt. HURT!!
    c'mere honey, we can eat out together

    That's all I needed. Well, and Matt, but he just couldn't handle it.
    Matt's still a little wet behind the ears. We'll break him in eventually.

    We could all go eat out together, you know, like at a buffet

    I LOVE buffets!!

    How YOU doin?

    Be doing better once we get to the buffet

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