"Scary Skinny"

marcylara
marcylara Posts: 11 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hey All. I have struggled with weight for most of my life, like many of us. I gained the Freshman 15 followed by the College Master's 40. I weighted 189 after graduation. After deciding I was unhappy with my size and weight and general health, I began martial arts classes and over the next couple of years whittled down to 165, where I stayed for a long time. Then I studied up on nutrition and adjusted my eating habits, got into Insanity and Turbo Fire (LOVE THEM!) and proceeded to lose more weight. It has been 12 years since college graduation and I now weigh 125. Weight, now, is just a number to me. I want to have the toned appearance of the fitness models. I don't do cardio every day and I have increased my lifting to build muscle. My arms have toned a bit (though those darn internal spaces between tricep and bicep remain tricky- ladies, you know what I mean!), my stomach is flat, developing abs upper, firm with light fat layer lower and flab in the middle. When I bend over, the skin kind of hangs. Eww. Also, I am heavy in the thigh and flat in the butt with no chest left from losing fat. I am at about 5'6" and ~23% body fat. I have been on a roughly 1250 calorie diet for a long time, trying to eat high (healthy) fats and protein with slightly less carbs. My sister says I look scary skinny. You can see ribs, back bone and hips/ pelvic crest. I want to look smooth, not bony, but I want to lose more fat and build muscle. So, my main question is :

Can someone please help me?! I will post recent photos if it helps! I want to be toned and fit, not emaciated! Should I increase my calories? I just don't know what to do! I'm not usually very hungry on my caloric range, though if I am, I eat and not starve myself. Please HELP! All reasonable suggestions appreciated!

Thanks!
~M

Replies

  • CrimeanGurl
    CrimeanGurl Posts: 103
    If your avatar picture reflects how you're looking right now, I'd say you're doing just fine. I don't think you need to lose any more weight, but I would no call bony or scary skinny. You look quite toned!
  • keepongoingnmw
    keepongoingnmw Posts: 371 Member
    I think your picture looks good. I chuckled when you exclaimed eww at your tummy skin hanging. I have had four kids and will just have to live with that, but my pooch is much worse. Be happy for the body you have!!!!!
  • ParisKennedy
    ParisKennedy Posts: 38 Member
    It sounds like you have that, "I need to be perfect" syndrome. I am sure you notice things others don't. I wonder if you will ever be happy with what you see in the mirror. If you fix one thing mentioned, will it be fixed enough or will you find fault with something else. I only speak from experience, because you sound like me.

    There is always skin tightening laser and laser lipo which melts fat cells. However, I think you look GORGEOUS.
  • marcylara
    marcylara Posts: 11 Member
    I think you are right. :-) I don't know if I will ever be "good enough". I just don't want to look bony, I want to get more definition and if I need to eat more/ differently to get there, I would like input from those who have seriously researched muscle building and nutrition. I appreciate your kind words! Thanks. We are our own worst critics, aren't we?
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    You may want to actually gain weight and gain muscle. Give this a read (Staci is my hero):

    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/
  • leighdiane91
    leighdiane91 Posts: 225 Member
    If you are happy at 125, why aren't you eating at maintenance?
  • marcylara
    marcylara Posts: 11 Member
    Good thought, leighdiane91. That's pretty much what I am looking for help regarding. I am not sure how high to go, because I think a 2000 calorie diet is too much for me. I have been holding my weight steady at this caloric range, so I am just wondering how much to add on and how to do it as I am eating REALLY frequently now and I am rarely hungry. Also, wasn't sure how I should adjust my ratios. More protein? More fat? Just looking for advice to help. I appreciate your input! Thanks!
  • marcylara
    marcylara Posts: 11 Member
    auddii, I loved this article! I will try to push more paleo and watch the calories for a little to see what feels good, then ditch the constant watch! Thanks!
  • abbyrae1
    abbyrae1 Posts: 265 Member
    I don't think you look scary skinny, but if you want to tone up more, that would be perfect. You seem to have a nice build for it so adding a little muscle tone to the mix will be nice.

    I think you will enjoy Paleo eating too, it is very enjoyable and you get to experiment with food a lot (which is what I liked about it!) Also, be aware that if you start strength training, your weight may fluctuate upward, but it isn't a bad thing! I would take measurements to different areas you want to improve and use that as a guide too instead of just a scale (ex. I started insanity 4 wks ago, I have gained 1/2 inch in my bicep when flexed, but lost 1/2 inch when relaxed from original measurements). this works for me :)
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    auddii, I loved this article! I will try to push more paleo and watch the calories for a little to see what feels good, then ditch the constant watch! Thanks!

    The paleo is kind of neither here nor there; it was more the point of she weighs more and is building muscle because she's eating at a surplus. You really should be switching to maintenance calories if not a slight surplus, and it is going to be more than you think. I'd also look into weight lifting, which is the most important part of the article. Many women have found that even though they weigh the same as they did before starting lifting (or even a few pounds more) they are usually a size or two smaller.
  • GamerLady
    GamerLady Posts: 359 Member
    You look fabulous
  • rfuchs
    rfuchs Posts: 55 Member
    Honestly, I think you look awesome!! I would love to have that stomach!!!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    auddii is wise and I'm SO glad she shared the Staci story!!

    Just wanted to add that at 23% BF, you're pretty spot on, especially at your age (no offense, see the lower chart on the link below). You might be able to lose a couple percentage points but I think gaining muscle is going to give you more of the look you want than losing fat will.

    http://www.builtlean.com/2010/08/03/ideal-body-fat-percentage-chart/

    Best of luck!
  • ShannonS2714
    ShannonS2714 Posts: 135 Member
    I do not think you look "scary skinny" at all...it sounds like you did a great job at getting yourself healthy!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    5'6'' and 125 with a bf% of 23% isn't scary skinny. You definitely look pretty thin, but part of the problem is that your sister is used to seeing you at a higher weight. I'm concerned that your caloric intake is so low since you're not planning to lose any more weight, but it looks like someone covered it up above. So I'll just second it and say that you need to start eating more or you probably will be scary skinny. A 1200 calorie diet for a very long time isn't a good idea.

    ETA: Also, it looks like you don't carry any fat in your chest and stomach, and that could be a reason you look so thin to her. I also have a very bony chest and in the wrong outfit, I can look way too skinny (even though I have a healthy body fat percentage and still have fat in other parts of the body).
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    You don't look scary skinny to me. If you want to change your body composition, you need to at least eat at maintenance and start a strength training program. There are lots of them out there and one that will suit your needs and personality. I use Wendler's 5/3/1, which isn't commonly used by women on this site from what I can tell, but do your research to see which program works for you.

    Also think about your protein levels and aim for .75 to 1g/lb lean body mass. Based on a 23% bfp, that's about 96 grams a day. I'm not sure you need to change it all that much, maybe aim for 19-20%.

    Honestly, I think your sister was being unkind to you and you're being hard on yourself.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    If you want to find your maintenance there are two ways to go. You can gradually increase your calories, giving each level time for your body to adjust, until you find the point where you start gaining. I found that method to be really stressful, personally, because it's hard to distinguish between normal fluctuations and actual gains. The other way to go is to do the math for the last 10 weeks of logging. You have to have an accurate log for it to work though.
    The best determination of what your TDEE are your results. If you have been tracking for a while, you should be able to look back over a period of time and calculate what YOUR actual TDEE is. For example, say I lost 8lb over a 10 week period while eating an average of 2,000 calories a day. My TDEE would be: 2,000 x 7 days x 10 weeks (140,000) which represents the total calories consumed over the 10 week period plus 8 x 3,500 (28,000) which represents my weight loss expressed as a deficit using the 3,500 calories per pound approximation. My total expenditure over that period would be 168,000 divided by 70 (7 days x 10 weeks) = 2,400 per day. This would approximate my TDEE. Obviously this number should be tweaked up or down if there is any significant change in activity. It also assumes that you have been logging your intake accurately.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819055-setting-your-calorie-and-macro-targets


    I used the latter method and found it to be accurate.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Also I think you look great. Not scary at all. :flowerforyou:
  • toffee322
    toffee322 Posts: 186 Member
    i think you look great! very toned and good body shape! jealous! but i think you can increase a bit more calories, since seems a bit low to me.
  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
    You look perfectly fine to me :)

    Plus you are only 1% body fat less than me and I am much bigger than you!! You wear it all super well and I wouldn't be surprised if you actually had a lower body fat percentage... like closer to the 17-19% area.

    As long as you are healthy and have no health concerns that are relatable to diet and exercise then don't worry about it. You are fine!
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Sounds like what you should do is build some muscle. Then once you gain 10lbs or so (some will be muscle, some will be fat), you can focus on losing fat again. This will hopefully give you are nice round butt, and chest muscles also help give the appearance of more boobs.

    But, you'll probably want to build your calories slowly to maintenance. Stay there for a while, 4-6 weeks. THEN think about going into a surplus to gain muscle.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/BusyLady406/view/so-ya-wanna-bulk-475896


    ETA: Gaining muscle will give you bigger biceps and triceps making the definition between them easier to see. Same with your lower abs. If you make the muscles bigger they show even with the same amount of fat. It'll give you a bigger, rounder butt. It will also give you bigger thighs but really, that's okay. Bigger pecs seriously = cleavage (it's the only kind I'll ever have).
  • ctenan1205
    ctenan1205 Posts: 19
    I am exactly the same height as you and weigh about 129-132. I got down to 124 from not eating much at all and working out too much... even though technically, that is not underweight and I've got a lot of muscle, I was actually diagnosed with a restrictive eating disorder and told to gain a bit of weight. For our height we should ideally be in the 130s. I totally understand the desire to be thin, I myself prefer being in the mid 120s, but I know that realistically it's good to have a bit more fat to be healthy. I was, and still am, often cold and my ribs are visible. So from my standpoint, I get how you feel (used to be 190 lbs., I can relate to wanting to never be that heavy again). But you might want to gain a bit of weight for your own health - 1200 calories is not sustainable over time. You need to increase that.

    Good luck and I'm here if you need someone!
  • skinnydreams19
    skinnydreams19 Posts: 282 Member
    I agree that you need to raise your calories (if 2000 seems too high for you and you're in active most of the day, try 1800. And are you eating back exercise cals?). I'd also recommend focusing more of the strength training than the cardio to achieve the toned, not bony, look.
  • ParisKennedy
    ParisKennedy Posts: 38 Member
    I think you are right. :-) I don't know if I will ever be "good enough". I just don't want to look bony, I want to get more definition and if I need to eat more/ differently to get there, I would like input from those who have seriously researched muscle building and nutrition. I appreciate your kind words! Thanks. We are our own worst critics, aren't we?

    to build more muscle you need to eat more (especially protein) and lift heavy. Go to this live thread and read. He is a PT and dietician. He says for you to feel free to ask him questions. He did answer a question this question yesterday though. I hope it helps.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/933325-registered-dietitian-in-tx-here-to-answer-questions
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    If your avatar picture reflects how you're looking right now, I'd say you're doing just fine. I don't think you need to lose any more weight, but I would no call bony or scary skinny. You look quite toned!

    I agree. Trim yes, frighteningly skinny no.
  • marcylara
    marcylara Posts: 11 Member
    Wow! I am honored to have so many wonderful bits of wisdom posted! This was more than I anticipated! I appreciate all of the input and love the suggestions. I believe my next move is to switch to paleo and increase my caloric intake. I have been lifting, but not consistantly. When I do lift, though, I "Go Heavy or Go Home" a la Chalean Extreme (Love Chalene!) I just need to dig in and do it. My weakness is my legs and booty, which are heavy and flat, respectively. I feel like I need to do 5x as many leg workouts to get anywhere as with the rest of my body! Anyone who would like to chime in with a beginner but not newbie lifting plan, I would love to check it out! I have to be honest, though, I am not one to be in the gym for 2 hours! Okay, brain trust... Let's see what you can throw at me!

    Thank you so much! I am grateful for your advice!

    ~M
  • RoadsterGirlie
    RoadsterGirlie Posts: 1,195 Member
    I think you look gorgeous, and you should be proud of what you have accomplished!

    People have no clue these days of what a healthy body looks like. To them, curves are rolls of fat, and a healthy diet consists of french fries and sugar soda.

    Keep doing what you are doing!
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Wow! I am honored to have so many wonderful bits of wisdom posted! This was more than I anticipated! I appreciate all of the input and love the suggestions. I believe my next move is to switch to paleo and increase my caloric intake. I have been lifting, but not consistantly. When I do lift, though, I "Go Heavy or Go Home" a la Chalean Extreme (Love Chalene!) I just need to dig in and do it. My weakness is my legs and booty, which are heavy and flat, respectively. I feel like I need to do 5x as many leg workouts to get anywhere as with the rest of my body! Anyone who would like to chime in with a beginner but not newbie lifting plan, I would love to check it out! I have to be honest, though, I am not one to be in the gym for 2 hours! Okay, brain trust... Let's see what you can throw at me!

    Thank you so much! I am grateful for your advice!

    ~M

    This one:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/560459-stronglifts-5x5-summary

    It only takes about 45 minutes. You do squats every day, so yeah, lots of legs and butt.

    I like Chalene (did TurboFire last year) but her "heavy" isn't really "heavy".

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