Success in spite of family
kmc979
Posts: 99 Member
I joined here a year ago but stopped after a few weeks. This January I finally committed. In three short months I have lost 30 pounds by eating less/right and moving more (shocking that's all it takes!). My mother lives with me and is frankly a *****. If I eat something that isn't perfect she throws a snide remark at me and I remind her it's all about portion control and you can treat yourself. She is not interested in eating well and can also stand to lose prob 80 pounds herself (and possibly nlot have diabetes/sleep apnea/high blood pressure). My 11 year son, bless his heart, is clueless. He loves me for me and doesn't see that I needed to lose weight. He is a skinny thing who hardly eats and is in the 5 percentile for height and weight.
Anyway, wow, this is longer than I expected it to be already, but a couple of days ago I fly to Florida to visit my family. My two brother have made comments for years about my need to lose weight, one is super skinny like my son and the other is a gym teacher/personal trainer/ muscle head. I didn't tell them about me losing weight as I wanted it to be a surprise. They have not seen me since December before I started losing weight.
For two days they have looked at me and not said a word! WTF!! I know it's beyond obvious I lost weight. What gives?! I'm attaching some before and after shots, tell me I'm crazy. The one on the left is from January after I had lost a few pounds already so probably around 210 and the one on the right is today at 188.
I'm pretty proud of my hard work! All my coworkers comment. I was specifically told I couldn't be on their weightless challenge team because I had already lost too much weight (which is true, already lost 12% in 3 months, no way I could lose that much more that fast because another 14% puts me like 2 pounds from my goal weight and my loss is already slowing down). You need to lose between 13-16% or something.
I know I'm looking good why can't my family see?! I guess this post also needs a cross reference to motivation and support lol.
Anyway, wow, this is longer than I expected it to be already, but a couple of days ago I fly to Florida to visit my family. My two brother have made comments for years about my need to lose weight, one is super skinny like my son and the other is a gym teacher/personal trainer/ muscle head. I didn't tell them about me losing weight as I wanted it to be a surprise. They have not seen me since December before I started losing weight.
For two days they have looked at me and not said a word! WTF!! I know it's beyond obvious I lost weight. What gives?! I'm attaching some before and after shots, tell me I'm crazy. The one on the left is from January after I had lost a few pounds already so probably around 210 and the one on the right is today at 188.
I'm pretty proud of my hard work! All my coworkers comment. I was specifically told I couldn't be on their weightless challenge team because I had already lost too much weight (which is true, already lost 12% in 3 months, no way I could lose that much more that fast because another 14% puts me like 2 pounds from my goal weight and my loss is already slowing down). You need to lose between 13-16% or something.
I know I'm looking good why can't my family see?! I guess this post also needs a cross reference to motivation and support lol.
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Replies
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Ugh why didn't the pictures post?0
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That's awesome! I'm in a similar situation, and it's amazing how the weight seems to fall off! Congratulations!!!
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Don't listen to the negative comments and pay no attention to the folk who say nothing...you know you're looking good and you know you're feeling better and that's all that matters. You look great, kmc...well done you :-D0
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Ugh! Those brothers of yours. I wish they knew how much the slightest positive reinforcement increases momentum.
I am worried that the same thing will happen at my family reunion in June. I am still far from "thin" but I have lost some and I want the fam to gush over my progress. They are nice people and they might ...but I have spent YEARS training them that talking about my weight and what I should eat or what exercises I should try are taboo subjects and best avoided if they don't want to see the business end of a hissy fit.
Congratulations to you on your amazing weight loss and I wish you continued success. Sounds like Mom might be a little worried you will get healthy and she will have nobody to eat junk with. Keep doing what is good for you!!0 -
My brother is very similar. I think sometimes they just don't know what to say so say nothing. Well done you!0
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You look awesome & it's more than obvious you've been losing. Do this for you & so you can have more healthy years with your son! Not to please anyone else.
Now I say that even though I have somewhat of a mischievous motive myself. Even though they won't say a word or let it show I want to take some hot bikini pics to tick-off my haters, lol. I can't wait for someone to say I won't keep it off. More fuel for the fire!!0 -
Thanks everyone! And I should clarify that not being able to be a part of the weightless challenge is a compliment! In fact, it was my weightless that motivated others to want to lose weight!0
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hi, it's ashame your family doesnt support you. sometimes people feel threathened when
someone changes their lifestyle, keep on going you look great.
sometimes its even jealousy....0 -
Your family has to be able to see it. It's way obvious! You are looking great, what a huge difference! They are probably just being jerks like family can be sometimes. Maybe they think it will motivate you (tough love) or they are just jealous or insecure of themselves. Don't let it discourage you. You are doing awesome!0
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I find that it is easy for people to point out that you need to lose weight, but aren't as quick to say anything when you have lost it. My brothers and parents were the same way. I have always been the biggest one in my family. Not one of them said anything about my weight loss. When I called my one brother out all he said was, maybe you need to tell so and so how you did it. That way they can lose weight too. Not a single great job. My son however was amazed at how much I had changed. I hadn't seen him for a couple of months and he told me I looked great. We went hiking and I carried the pack the whole way and didn't have to stop to catch my breath. He told me he was so proud of me. Don't let anybody bring you down. I am losing weight for me, my health and my kids, nobody else. Great job, keep up the good work.0
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Good for you!!!
My trainer and my boyfriend, who I see ALL the time, have both told me in the last week that I am looking leaner, though I have not lost any weight... my family, whom I haven't seen in 3 months, saw me this weekend and didn't say a thing. It's not as significant a loss or change as yours, but it still kind of stinks that people don't notice. However, in your case, people must be crazy, you look great! Keep up the good work!0 -
You look wonderful!!!
Keep doing what you are doing.0 -
It's nice to have family (parents, siblings, etc.) support and to have them say something positive about your hard work and how much healthier you look...but if they can't do that for you, just keep working toward your goal for yourself and your own family. It would have been nice to get some compliments though. Your pictures show how far you've come!0
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some people just want to sabatoge any effort made. I have a friend who is quite heavy and all she ever does is make excuses, blames it on her workload, kids, thyroid - you name it she uses it. but when I say I want to try this diet or that diet, she comes up with alot of be careful of this or that. when I said I wanted to try the couch to 5K, she said oh your gonna get bad knees.WTF there are a million runners out there, just hold your head up, you set a goal, achieved it and you don't need anyone to pat you on the back, be your own cheerleader!!!0
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I think they DO notice. Just too insecure, jealous, to say anything. People like that are very comfortable saying negative things to others but very UNcomfortable giving compliments. I say, use this to fuel your fire and STICK IT TO 'EM! Show them you can work hard and look AMAZING without any help from them. You're in control and you're awesome!!! Nice work.0
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I think they DO notice. Just too insecure, jealous, to say anything. People like that are very comfortable saying negative things to others but very UNcomfortable giving compliments. I say, use this to fuel your fire and STICK IT TO 'EM! Show them you can work hard and look AMAZING without any help from them. You're in control and you're awesome!!! Nice work.
I agree with this!! You look great, just keep on doing what you have been doing!!0 -
OMG!! There is no way that your family can't see that you have lost 30 lbs. You have done a FANTASTIC job!!! Congratulations and keep up the great job you're doing. Don't look for compliments from your family as your fuel to reach your goal. Just keep doing what you are doing. You have plenty of support here from people who are all trying to do the same as you - reach our weight loss goals.0
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I see a big difference! You should feel proud of yourself....I hope you do! One thing though is that your clothes in the before are tight and snug and the after is in the same clothes which are much bigger on you. I personally like snug fitting clothes on me and on others. I have a friend who has lost weight but still wears her big ole clothes and all that does is still make her look bigger. Maybe more fitting clothes would help others notice? Just a thought. Great work...and keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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You look great. Congrats on your continues success!!0
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Or they didn't say anything because they couldn't....too busy choking on their words or that big fat crow stuck in their throat. Ha!0
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We dudes can be really weird about this kind of stuff.
If we mention something, is that the same as saying 'hey, you used to be really fat!'
This is something I think about when complimenting someone on their progress - b/c it's how I feel sometimes when someone compliments me on my appearance.
They're your brothers - are you close? Try talking to them about it and explicitly ask for their support with you and your mom.0 -
I think they DO notice. Just too insecure, jealous, to say anything. People like that are very comfortable saying negative things to others but very UNcomfortable giving compliments. I say, use this to fuel your fire and STICK IT TO 'EM! Show them you can work hard and look AMAZING without any help from them. You're in control and you're awesome!!! Nice work.
Exactly. Your brothers are douche bags. My mom did the exact same thing are your mom. She complained that I was too heavy but then freaked when I told her I was exercising - she actually said exercise is bad for me. She would tell me I need to lose weight while putting a second helping of pot roast and potatoes on my plate. Just really happy that your son is your #1 fan. And to you - great job! You look beautiful! 0 -
We dudes can be really weird about this kind of stuff.
If we mention something, is that the same as saying 'hey, you used to be really fat!'
This is something I think about when complimenting someone on their progress - b/c it's how I feel sometimes when someone compliments me on my appearance.
I totally agree with you and I like to give people slack when it comes to this too...BUT, her brothers have told her she needed to lose to weight. So it's not taboo. They have already admidtted they think she was overweight so they should have NO problem now saying how great she looks!0 -
I think they DO notice. Just too insecure, jealous, to say anything. People like that are very comfortable saying negative things to others but very UNcomfortable giving compliments. I say, use this to fuel your fire and STICK IT TO 'EM! Show them you can work hard and look AMAZING without any help from them. You're in control and you're awesome!!! Nice work.
Exactly. Your brothers are douche bags. My mom did the exact same thing are your mom. She complained that I was too heavy but then freaked when I told her I was exercising - she actually said exercise is bad for me. She would tell me I need to lose weight while putting a second helping of pot roast and potatoes on my plate. Just really happy that your son is your #1 fan. And to you - great job! You look beautiful!
People are scared that they'll be left in the dust. They know they need to get healthy too but it's hard to admidt you don't have the will power or strength to do so. Misery loves company! 0 -
None of know the dynamics of your family and the backstory between you and your brothers but I agree with encouraging comments, just keep on keeping on for you and your son, you are already looking great 0
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I know how hard it is to not have your achievements noticed. But that being said, you noticed and that's the most important. We all like to hear praise for our accomplishments but really, you're the one who matters most. Now that you know my comments and opinion should mean anything I feel safe to say that you're looking wonderful! You've made incredible progress and should be proud of yourself!0
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You look great! You can totally see the difference. I am sorry about your family, but what you are doing is working so continue!!
keep up the good (hard) work!10 -
Read the title to your post. That says it all :drinker:0
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I think you look great, however, I also think maybe you should rename your post cause if they see that than feelings can get hurt.. But, even if they don't say a word to you keep doing what your doing for yourself. In the long run it's for yourself and your own health your actually doing it for, anyway... Maybe in time they will tell you that they are proud. But if not, no loss, right!!!! keep up the good work! :0)0
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Way to go, you can 100% see it! I'm shocked your brothers didn't say anything to you? Especially as they were happy to point out you needed to lose weight!
Maybe you should confront them over it and just ask if they can see a difference?0
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