Success in spite of family

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Replies

  • nczuczu
    nczuczu Posts: 611 Member
    Don't let your family bring you down. You are doing a tremendous job and I can definitely see your progress. Be proud of the success you have had and keep with it!
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    Family can SUCK. They all don't, but the ones who do are really stinkers.

    Your 'real' family are the friends who rally around you, support you in your struggles, tell you when you're scr*wing up, and cheer you on in your successes. Those other people? They're just related to you.
  • kmc979
    kmc979 Posts: 99 Member
    Wow everyone thanks for all the kind words! My brothers and I are fairly close, I'm closer with my older brother than my younger brother. We all are very close in age so in very similar points in our lives. We had a rough childhood so we learned to stick together. Yes, it is easier to push someone down than lift them up, but I guess I did expect more from them, even though I knew that boys will be boys. Even one of my good friends husband (who went to school with my older brother) didn't say anything to me, just asked her after I left what I was doing. She said the next day he came home with veggies! Men in their 30's are weird.

    Tomorrow I will see my dad and stepmom. I'm sure my stepmom will say something and hopefully my brothers overhear it!
  • ash8184
    ash8184 Posts: 701 Member
    You look GREAT! I'm sad you aren't smiling in your "after" pics though. Keep up the awesome work :)
  • JennKie1
    JennKie1 Posts: 200 Member
    First of all, you look great! Secondly, men can be clueless sometimes. Especially brothers. They don't pay attention to stuff like that. If they don't see you often, they maybe honestly didn't notice. My own husband didn't notice (or at least didn't say anything) until I had lost about 20#, and he sees me every day. As far as your mother goes, she's probably just jealous that she doesn't have the desire or willpower to make improvements to herself. I have a co-worker that does the same thing. She will look down her nose at me and say: "French fries? Are THOSE on your diet?" if I have a small fry (like today) with my salad. She, however has her own weight issues and has habits that are much worse than mine. My mother-in-law is less than supportive - one day my husband pointed out to her that I had lost 30#, and she said that she hadn't noticed, and that maybe if I had lost 60#, it would be more noticeable. REALLLY?! Because I am 5'7" and a 60# loss would have put me at 113# (WAY too small for me)! I think sometimes people try to discourage because misery loves company. You look fabulous. Who cares what they think anyway? (I know, I care too. :blushing: )
  • katinachaos
    katinachaos Posts: 90 Member
    It could be that they don't see you that often and the change might not be something that clicks visually with them. I have the problem where I don't necessarily notice when those who are close to me change their appearance because I sort of have this concept of what they look like in my head. My mom pointed out my best friend had put on a lot of weight and I hadn't noticed it until SHE commented that she had put on over 40 pounds! In my head she's sort of always the same girl from high school.

    They may have noticed but didn't want to say anything because being nice to a sibling is totally against the rules. ;P
  • tartsul
    tartsul Posts: 298 Member
    no matter what, you are doing an amazing job! you look great, but i agree with others - you aren't smiling in your "after" picture, and that needs to change!!! even if you don't hear it from your family, you can come to your MFP family for encouragement! :) i think it's possible that they just don't know what to say. hopefully, eventually, they will come around. you just keep doing what's right and work hard. you're responsible for your own actions, and you've chosen to taken responsibility! GREAT JOB!
  • kmc979
    kmc979 Posts: 99 Member
    You look GREAT! I'm sad you aren't smiling in your "after" pics though. Keep up the awesome work :)

    Lol my friend told me the same thing. I purposely smiled for the before ones because it always irks me when people don't lol. Even all those commercials for the magic pills, in the before they aren't smiling, the after they are.
  • Jennifer_Lynn_1982
    Jennifer_Lynn_1982 Posts: 567 Member
    Thanks everyone! And I should clarify that not being able to be a part of the weightless challenge is a compliment! In fact, it was my weightless that motivated others to want to lose weight!

    That's so awesome that you've inspired others to be healthy. As for your brothers, try not to read too much into it. They might not notice because they love you all the same. I've lost about 20 lbs and have reached my goal and some of my best friends that I didn't tell I was losing weight haven't noticed. I went from a size 10 to a 4 which is considerable too. Just keep with it and talk to your brothers if it bothers you.
  • JLHNU212
    JLHNU212 Posts: 169 Member
    You should be so proud of yourself! you look great!!!It is probably a guy thing! You could cut all your hair off and die it hot pink and they probably wouldnt say anything about that either! My husband is the same way with his siblings! it would be nice if they were more forthecoming with at least one compliment, but you are doing this for yourself and for your son! Who needs them to compliment you, when you have us! :) Congrats again!
  • rosiesmama
    rosiesmama Posts: 69 Member
    I found your pics to be really inspirational for me. I hope that helps some to know that you're making a difference in other peoples' lives by putting your struggle out there. As for family support, I agree with what a lot of other people are saying on this post: your mom is probably jealous and men can be kinda clueless about this. Hard to blame them. My ex used to joke that he refused to answer any question with the word 'fat' in it.:)) Look inside for your motivation. You can't change other peoples' attitudes toward you, but it's important to always be kind to yourself.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    You've done a great job :) maybe the clothes you were wearing didn't let them see the change? Plus I find men don't tend to comment as much on weight whether it be a loss or a gain. Don't take it personally.
  • runnerchick69
    runnerchick69 Posts: 317 Member
    You look fantastic and they are idiots for not saying something! I have family like that too, probably many of us do :tongue: I ran a marathon and not one person, other than my husband, bothered to show up to support me and I admit that hurt. I look at your pictures and the loss is VERY obvious. It makes me mad that so called family can be so rude and inconsiderate and sometimes just plain clueless. You look fantastic!!!
  • JLHNU212
    JLHNU212 Posts: 169 Member
    P.S. Maybe your mom is just scared that if you change your habits, she is going to have to come to terms with her habits and whether or not she wants to continue them alone. If she doesn't want to be alone in them, she will have to change, and for some people who have done the same bad things for so long are scared to change...Just an idea!
  • alasin1derland
    alasin1derland Posts: 575 Member
    no you're not crazy, the difference is obvious. you look great. way to go!!!
  • jjkarnitz
    jjkarnitz Posts: 55
    I can DEFINITELY see a big difference in your pics. You're rocking this! Don't let them get you down, they are probably feeling a little threatened if you've always been the heavy one in the family. They were comfortable with that idea and now you've shattered their reality. :) Keep doing it!
  • slcrane90
    slcrane90 Posts: 35 Member
    Just remember, family is like fish, they go bad in a couple of days!!!! You look fantastic and there is a huge difference! Enjoy your weight loss and embrace it, dont let the family discourage you!!!
  • lisamarie2181
    lisamarie2181 Posts: 560 Member
    there is a huge difference and you look fantastic. They probably aren't saying anything because they are jealous. You know the saying misery loves company? lol When people can't do things themselves, they like to be negative to the people that are doing something about it.

    Kudos to you hun, you are looking good and don't let them get you down!!


    ETA - Also, men can be very clueless like many others have said, IDK how many times I have cut off my hair, lost weight, whatever and not a peep.. I think they are afraid of offending us more than realizing they are complimenting us. Like by them saying wow you look good, you lost some weight, they think we are going to take it like they thought we were fat. Sadly some women do. I never get offended when someone gives me a compliment. I was fat, still am but working on it lol It feels great when others see it too :)
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    You expected men to notice and say something? *snort*

    Anyway, you look fantastic! Keep up all the hard work!
  • Lunarokra
    Lunarokra Posts: 855 Member
    Great job and doing this for you! Sometimes family is not the right support and motivation we aim to get from. You look great and I admire your success.


    Keep up the great work.
  • zeprose
    zeprose Posts: 74 Member
    It is impossible not ot see the changes. Don't give importance to things which will make you discourage. You know how hard you worked for it also what you got. Be proud of yourself. People can be jealous when you accomplish great things.
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