If you struggle/d with bad body image...

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ladybug1620
ladybug1620 Posts: 1,136 Member
in Motivation and Support
Do you sometimes feel like you will just NEVER be happy with your body, even if you reach or pass your goal weight? I have struggled with being happy with my body for as long as I can remember. I remember losing a ton of weight for my wedding, being 120 lbs, and still not happy with the way that I looked. Looking back at those pictures I realize I looked amazing, maybe even a tad too thin. Now, after having two babies I am struggling with the way that I look. I started trying to lose the baby weight that was sticking around after my second child. My goal was 23lbs when I started, to get me down to 130. I am 5 lbs away from that goal, but am still so unhappy with the way I look. I can't imagine all of a sudden being completely happy in a bikini after I lose this last 5 lbs. Makes me wonder if I will ever be happy. Anyone deal with this? How do you cope? I just want to be confident!

Replies

  • SayRah
    SayRah Posts: 104
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    I struggled with it a lot in middle school and high school.

    You only get one body. And if you're at a healthy weight and you still don't like it.....shift your perspective. There is NOTHING wrong or ugly or upsetting about your body. There is NO ideal of a perfect body. Movies and TV can tell you otherwise, people can tell you otherwise, YOU can tell you otherwise. All it comes down it is finding the beauty in the body you have because it's the only one you get.
  • Lyn_Matthews
    Lyn_Matthews Posts: 902 Member
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    I hear ya. I feel the same way. I've changed my "goal" weight a couple times because once I get to one goal I'm still not please with the way I look. And now, again, I'm about 5 lbs from another "goal" weight and I still feel its not enough. I do NOT want to be stick thin. I don't want to be a "walking skeleton" as my hubby calls 'em LOL. I just want to be happy in my own skin..in my clothes...in my swim suit, but even after 55 lbs I'm not there yet. I'm not sure how to shake the "fat girl" mentality, but I know I'm working on it. When people compliment me I force myself to tell them Thank you and agree with them, rather than thinking my own negative thoughts behind an insincere thank you. At the end of my workouts I tell myself that I am strong and I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. When I start to focus on the negative aspects of my body, I remind myself that I'm still a work in progress and if I keep doing the right things and eating the right foods I will get there. I didn't get fat over night and I'm not gonna get skinny over night either.

    Best of luck to you. You will be happy in your own skin but you just have to change your mindset.
  • lawkat
    lawkat Posts: 538 Member
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    I struggle with my body image pretty much, everyday. I still see the fat person in the mirror. People tell me how skinny I am, but I don't see it. I don't know why and I work on trying to see myself in that light and try to feel comfortable in my own skin. I was overweight for pretty much most of my life and was the brunt of a lot of bullying and teasing for a long time. It is something that I know will go away eventually, but it takes a lot of time and realizing that I am not that overweight person anymore.
  • Allibaba
    Allibaba Posts: 457 Member
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    I struggle with this a lot. I feel like my body is a war zone after all I have put it through and I do feel that no matter what size I am at it will never look "perfect" I have loose skin from my pregnancy and being 50lbs heavier in the past. I am doing my best to focus on being healthy and not so much about it being about the way I look. I am pretty happy with my body now (when I have clothes on at least) and I am really just trying to do what is best for my health and happiness. I think the rest will fall into place eventually.
  • princesspurple
    princesspurple Posts: 688
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    I struggle! I compare myself to EVERYONE I see on tv, my husbands ex, the girl at the gym. I don't know how to stop that!
    I felt great going out in a bikini on the boat this weekend, then I saw a picture that was taken...I fell like I looked so FAT!
  • Galathea
    Galathea Posts: 420 Member
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    The problem is not your weight. The problem is that you don't feel at home in your body. And this has nothing to do with your weight or the way you look itself.
    I think nowadays we tend to be extremely critical with the way we look. We try to be perfect or to fulfill an ideal model of something we don't even can really explain.
    130 lbs ...have you any idea how that sounds to some people here? It's a dream many will probably never reach. That's not an attack, btw, I just try to show that we all have different perspectives. You're not happy in your body. Others would kill (so to speak) just to get close to this.
    You said you saw pics of you at your wedding and you realized how amazing you lokked. I think that's it. Looking at something from the outside changes the perspective and makes us see that all the little (or big) things we worry about aren't really concerning.
    Will I be happy with my body, when I reached my goal? I don't know it. To be honest, I doubt it. I know myself well enough. There will always be something I won't be happy about. But I hope I will learn to accept that, even the little failures. They make me who I am, not a perfect supermodel (btw, they aren't that perfect either), but a human being, breathing and living a good and healthy life. I hope I will learn that perfection isn't made for me and that I'm perfect enought the way I am, because there are people who really love me. And there must be a reason why they do, don't you think? It's the same with you. Your body doesn't make the real YOU. It's just a part of it. Being at home in yourself makes many things easier. And I honestly hope you will find that feeling one day, just like I hope it for myself.
  • ohdank
    ohdank Posts: 9
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    Therapy!! It will change everything!!
  • ladybug1620
    ladybug1620 Posts: 1,136 Member
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    130 lbs ...have you any idea how that sounds to some people here? It's a dream many will probably never reach.

    I absolutely do know how it sounds. That's why I am ashamed to even feel this way. I agree with every single thing you said.
  • Clew
    Clew Posts: 910 Member
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    I just wrote a blog post kinda about this. If you'd like to read it ...

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/boaterbunny/view/perking-up-30494

    Just know you're not alone ...

    So many other comments you've gotten are invaluable. We'll relearn to be happy with ourselves. :)
  • ladybug1620
    ladybug1620 Posts: 1,136 Member
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    Therapy!! It will change everything!!
    Have you gone yourself? What type of therapist do you look for?
  • ladybug1620
    ladybug1620 Posts: 1,136 Member
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    I just wrote a blog post kinda about this. If you'd like to read it ...

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/boaterbunny/view/perking-up-30494

    Just know you're not alone ...

    So many other comments you've gotten are invaluable. We'll relearn to be happy with ourselves. :)
    Thanks so much for that! I sometimes feel like the things you said in the last paragraph. I try to tell myself that I had two babies very close, my body is amazing for what it's gone through and I should be happy for that. I guess it is a daily struggle of back and forth.
  • bellinachuchina
    bellinachuchina Posts: 498 Member
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    I just wrote a blog earlier, basically leading up to this point! I've been unhappy with my body since I was 8, so after so many years of thinking that way, even though I've reached my goal, I'm still unsatisfied! Hoping to distract my mind with something else, stay healthy and just enjoy life all together.
  • jdsouthernbelle
    jdsouthernbelle Posts: 274
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    I remember being at my smallest weight ever in High School and people still making fun of me. I look back on pictures and WISH I was back at that size now. Makes me wonder why I wasn't happy then and why I listened to people hurting my feelings. Oh how I would give anything to be back in those size jeans now.
  • jamiesgotagun
    jamiesgotagun Posts: 670 Member
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    I compare myself with others as well, always!! For me I think it comes from when I was younger from elementary through high school I was teased for being big. I was never actually big as in over weight but I was much taller than most of the boys who made fun of me. They always called me big red or big bird, so I always thought I was fat, like I said elementary through high school, now of course looking back, I wasn't fat at all. I played volleyball and was in really good shape, but I think when people tell you stuff like that it sticks in your head. I am hoping when I get closer to my goal weight I can be happy.
  • ivygirl328
    ivygirl328 Posts: 121
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    I am right there with you. I am so unhappy with my overall appearance. I was actually looking back through some vacation pictures with my son and realized that I have none of myself. Everytime I have a picture taken, I delete it or throw it away because I'm not happy with myself. "Nope, that's got to go, I look Fat!" It's ridiculous! Why can't I take a picture and say, "wow, I look happy"?

    Sorry, I don't have any answers. I'm just venting :smile: .
  • lobster888
    lobster888 Posts: 861 Member
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    Bump :)
  • rero
    rero Posts: 24
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    i think part of it really is a cultural thing. where i come from thin was never beautiful, curvy with some fat was seen as ideal so being a little chubby was never a bad thing and i kept that in mind when i moved to america. sometimes people would say i was 'fat' or too toned (i gain muscle easily) but i simply asked them why does it concern them. when i did gain weight i was more concerned about my health and ability to keep playing tennis which i adore so i decided time to lose!

    as long as im healthy aesthetics will follow after
  • ladybug1620
    ladybug1620 Posts: 1,136 Member
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    i think part of it really is a cultural thing. where i come from thin was never beautiful, curvy with some fat was seen as ideal so being a little chubby was never a bad thing and i kept that in mind when i moved to america. sometimes people would say i was 'fat' or too toned (i gain muscle easily) but i simply asked them why does it concern them. when i did gain weight i was more concerned about my health and ability to keep playing tennis which i adore so i decided time to lose!

    as long as im healthy aesthetics will follow after

    Isn't it odd how different cultures have different ideas of beauty? I posted on facebook the other day about getting a tan. A friend of mine who is living in the Phillipines for a little while responded saying "why can't you women ever be happy with yourselves? you are trying to get tan, and here in the phillipines there are so many skin whitening products on the shelves!" Maybe the grass is always greener on the other side for some people...
  • a1schwei
    a1schwei Posts: 617 Member
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    i completely understand...i was just thinking about it when i was getting ready this morning...i 'unofficially' weighed myself this morning and saw a number i don't think i've ever seen before and even though my clothes are getting too big and when i look at individual parts of my body i see a difference and i've gotten positive feedback from friends and family members, I still don't feel like I am exactly where i want to be when i look in the mirror...honestly i've never been heavy to the average person but when you don't see what you want to see in the mirror it is hard even when you know that you have a body that others would be perfectly happy with...i remember a 'what not to wear' episode where they have a person draw what they think their body is shaped like and then actually trace the person and it was amazing the difference in size (much smaller than how the person saw themself)...sometimes i feel like a tangible way like that would be a good way to gain perspective...long story short you are not alone!!! :)
  • princesspurple
    princesspurple Posts: 688
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    there is a special out right now that you can watch for free on on demand....it is jessica simpson traveling to different parts of the world and how they perceive beauty..i only watched 1 or 2 but it was really amazing. they went to one place where people of ALL sizes flaunt themselves and are happy! then one place they showed a woman that payed for plastic surgery over having a home/food for her children....it is so different everywhere you go.
    I just want to be happy in my own skin...i dont want to delete the photos of me anymore...i want to put myself on the computer and be proud of who i am....i hope we can all do this:)

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